MC Insanity Meets MiddleEarth
by The Epic Elven Twins
Summary: What happens when a group of girls finds themselves mysteriously in the story of their collective dreams? Lots and LOTS of insane confusion! And a little bit of love, cause we're cool like that. Book 1 in the Insane Summers Duet.
1. When In Rome, Do What the Psychics Do

_The original version of this story was begun in 2007 as a round robin. It is, in all actuality, the beginning of the entire Insanity Collection as written by us. The original Mellon Chronicles (there is a link in our profile) is, technically, **the** beginning, but since it is not officially part of TIC, it doesn't really count. Anyway, I digress..._

_Here, for your entertainment, is the 2011 rewrite of MCIMME._

* * *

><p>MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth<p>

When In Rome, Do What the Psychics Do

"Ha! Tagged ya!"

"Tira, that is so not fair!"

"All is fair in love and bars, or something like that." Tira lowered her sword and grinned at Tea, her opponent.

"Love and _war_, Tira." Kim called out, amusement in her tone.

"Yeah, well, war then. Love and war." Tira flapped her free hand in the air. "I'm getting thirsty, anyone else for a break?"

"Yeah, let's head back towards the packs." Kel led the way.

They had packed for an afternoon, with bottles of water and bags of Tira's homemade jerky and fruit rolls, as well as their favourite MC-related items like some of the stories someone had printed out.

As they walked, the air became slightly thick feeling as if they were walking through mud, though the light did not change. There was no fog, no rain, and not a lot of humidity to explain the sudden change. Suddenly the air made a _pop_ noise and walking became easy once more.

"Um, Kel?" Londessa ventured to say after a minute.

"I don't recognize these trees…" Kel whispered back to the unspoken question.

"Um, they seem a heck of a lot older than your trees, or the trees from your place, or whatever." Tira looked around curiously. "That is a black walnut. Do you have any black walnuts?"

"I don't think so." Kel shook her head.

"Well, let's keep going a little bit, see if our packs are still where we left them." Kim spoke up, always the practical-minded one. Since no one had a better idea, they continued on.

They could see the packs just ahead, lying in a loose pile as they'd been left, and they joyously ran towards them. Happily digging through them, no one noticed that there was no birdsong.

Londessa was the first to smell the odour that pervaded their small bit of air, and she turned around nervously, but didn't see anything at first. One by one, the smell was noticed by the others and they all began to look around the area in trepidation.

Tira, always acting before thinking, drew her sword and twirled it, almost slicing Eltara's arm off in the process. "Methinks you'll all want to draw your weapons." She said as the first orc showed himself.

This day had just gotten so much more interesting.

Sounds of battle being waged filtered through the forest, and the four companions rushed towards it, slowing before they got there so they could do a quick reconnaissance of the area. What they saw shocked them.

"What's this, damsels in distress?" Elladan said, slightly facetiously.

"Well, we can't just sit here, we need to help them!" Elrohir said fervently.

Just before the twins could dive from cover, Aragorn grabbed their sleeves and held them back. "Wait. They look strange, and I have a bad feeling they're going to get us into even more trouble than the usual brand."

Silent until then, Legolas let out a snort. "I agree. The orcs presence is trouble enough. Then again, can things not always get worse?"

Meanwhile, the girls were battling on, tiring but somehow managing to not get injured, yet.

"Wham! Down goes another!" Tira whooped out. She had been doing this for sometime now and Londessa, who was nearby, rolled her eyes at Eltara. How Tira could continue talking as she fought, without getting impaled, was a feat in itself.

Kel caught the eye-roll and began laughing despite the fact she was completely cornered, but this was a dream, wasn't it? Orcs did not really exist, so what did it matter? As she laughed, she unexpectedly found herself being pushed farther from the group and yelled for Kim, who was nearby, for help. The elf twins could not sit idly by any longer. Though the strange girls seemed slightly deranged they needed help, and when one found herself being cornered by orcs, Elrohir dived out of the cover of the bushes and came to her rescue.

"Just what we needed, even more trouble." Legolas muttered as he leapt out to help the girls, slaughtering orcs in rapid-fire succession.

Suddenly the glade fell silent and Eltara found herself swinging her sword through empty air, the orcs all dead lying where they'd been slain. She stared unabashedly at the newcomers.

"This so had better be real, or I am blaming you, Tira."

"Me? Why me?" Tira looked affronted.

"Because it was your food we ate." She grinned.

"Well, it is real. I think. Unless it's not real."

"Oh, how helpful." Kel muttered as she rolled her eyes.

Legolas swung around, covering the twins as they finished off the last few orcs at the periphery of the glade. Certain now that they were safe he put his bow up then whirled on the group of girls.

"What is this now? What are you girls doing in the woods alone?"

"Well," the short little red-head who had been whooping as she hacked away during the battle started, "we're not quite sure how we got here, or if here is really real or really a dream caused by questionable jerky, but we do know this is definitely Middle-Earth, and we know who you four are, too."

Legolas stared hard at the girl. This proclamation unsettled him greatly. He didn't like strange humans knowing his identity, as it had never worked in his favour before.

"If you know us, as you claim," Elladan began, "then surely you can tell us our names."

Without missing a beat, all of the girls spoke up at once, not bothering to take turns in pointing out who each of them was. "One of you's Elladan, and then there's your twin Elrohir, and your little brother Estel," though half of the girls said Aragorn, "and you are their best friend Legolas, the Prince of Mirkwood!" the words jumbled together as they all pointed out and named the different companions at the same time, adding to the confusion. Not to mention the confusion among the group about which twin was who.

The four of them looked at each other, before turning to stare at the strange girls who did indeed know who they were. Legolas caught on before the rest and drew his bow, aiming it at the intruders who definitely knew too much.

"How do you know who Estel is? Who sent you?" he growled.

"Wait, wait!" all the girls yelled at once.

"We're not going to betray your secret!" Tira promised. "We don't work for anyone. Really."

"We just read MC," Kel and JLyH spoke together, their words running amuck.

"We're elf- and ranger-girls," Eltara put in helpfully.

Again, the four companions looked at each other before asking in single chorus, "MC?"

"Oh yes, Cassia and Sio," Kim answered, as if this explained everything.

"Are any of you this Cassia and Sio?" Aragorn eyed them suspiciously, unsure he trusted this mysterious duo either. They sounded like trouble for his and his own.

"No, not us." JLyH replied. "We're just a bunch of normal, run-of-the-mill girls."

"Normal, right." They heard Legolas mutter.

"So who are you then?" one of the twins asked. Legolas, Aragorn, and Tira knew it was Elladan; there was still debate among the other girls as to which one was who.

Again, all at once, the girls spoke, naming everyone off. The elves and one ranger shuffled nervously, not having met anyone quite like them before, and totally not understanding them.

"Alright, alright." Tira whipped her sword around, which quickly shut everyone up as they dodged her swings. "I'm Tira, short for Tirananniel. Well, it's actually Cassandra, but I never liked it much."

"But that's an elvish name," Elrohir protested.

"Got a problem with that?" She pointed the dangerously sharp weapon at him.

"Noooooo." He stepped behind his twin, who looked both none too pleased and nonplussed at his sudden role of body-shield, but he did settle for openly glowering at his brother.

"Good. That's Kim, Londessa, JLyH, Eltara and Kel. There may have been more of us, but I think they wandered in somewhere else."

"You mean there are _more_ of you?" Legolas looked horrified.

"Of course there's more of us." Tira, the unofficial spokesperson spoke up. "I cannot go _anywhere_ without a proper retinue, or whatever the word is. Group? Followers? Minions?"

The elves and ranger looked a trifle more horrified at that last word.

"I am not a minion." Londessa huffed.

"Of course not, dear." Tira waved a hand in her direction. "Anyway, yeah. So, this is a really real dream, and all the real Silithluin Gwathil are here. Somewhere. Unless they're not. Then they're somewhere else."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Kel clapped her hands, but the sarcasm flew right over Tira's head.

"Quite welcome."

"Wait, silver-blue sisters? What is this?" Elladan broke into Tira's ridiculous monologue.

"Well, really Elladan." Tira peered at him in exasperation. (The elves-and-ranger group looked surprised that she had put name and twin together properly, for there was still debate among the other girls who were resigned to waiting to find out who was who. When asked about how she knew, though, Tira would never really answer; one only got long spiels of O-Blue-One-ism.) Pointing to Aragorn she said slowly, "he has silvery grey eyes." Changing her pointing finger to Legolas, she said equally slowly, "and he has blue eyes. Hence, silver blue. It's obvious."

"No, it is not obvious." The four were getting more and more confused with each new thing the girl said.

"Well, it could be obvious! I know!" Tira grabbed up one of the packs and began riffling through it. Kel had an idea of what she was looking for and went over.

"I really don't think they need to see that, not all of it has happened yet obviously, and future telling isn't something I'm into," she said. Tira's face fell as she showed she understood and she shoved the pages back into the pack.

JLyH leaned over to whisper into her other ear. "Need we tell them how much we like reading about them being tortured?"

Tira shrugged and shook her head.

"What was that?" Elrohir questioned the whisperers.

"Absolutely nothing." Tira announced.

"And those papers?"

"Again, absolutely nothing."

"Then you obviously won't mind us taking a look at them." Elladan replied.

"Dan!" Tira gasped and hugged the pack to her chest. "You never ask to see a girl's journal! That's sacrilege!"

JLyH nodded, ignoring the fact that it was a story, not a journal. "Yeah, that's just rude!"

"Dan?" Estel looked at his brother. "They seem to know you rather well."

Elladan frowned at the human, at his insinuation. "You as well, little brother."

Legolas got an impish grin on his face as he realized the teasing potential, completely forgetting the strange girls appeared to know him as well as his three companion. "Yes, Estel. Shall I tell Arwen that several young ladies know you as well as she does?"

Kel hit Legolas on the arm. "That's not true and you know it! Don't start rumours just to tease him!"

Elrohir, looking shocked at the familiarity these girls were showing to them, asked, "How do you know us so well?"

Tira gave an innocent smile. "We're psychic."

"Hmm...psychic?" Legolas raised a roguish eyebrow. "Does that mean you would know where this came from?" To the girls' surprise he pulled an irritated-looking calico cat from beneath his cloak.

"Pippin!" a shout came from the edge of the woods and two other girls stepped into view. "That's my cat!" one of the arrivals -Lindelas- announced. "How did she get here?" She stepped forward and grabbed her cat from the surprised elf.

"How did _we_ get here?" the other, whose name was Tea, added, coming up behind her. "Is this a dream?"

"Well," Tira began to delve into her confusing explanation again, only to be interrupted by Kim.

"We're not sure yet if this is a strange sort of shared dream, or if somehow we were transported to the real Middle-Earth."

The elves and ranger stared at the newcomers in horror, occasionally sharing a look among themselves as the girls rambled with each other.

"Well, she did say there might be more of them." Aragorn whispered to Legolas.

"Ha! I know what we are! We're a _coven_!" Tira announced. The twins, catching this, shot appalled looks at the girls, even more edgy and wary with this pronouncement.

"What?" The other girls stared at Tira as if she'd lost her mind.

"What what? If you aren't my minions, then you're my coven. You have to be something, after all, and that's better than nothing."

"I don't see why we have to be _your_ anything." Londessa sniffed.

"Well, um, 'cause it's fun?" Tira blinked.

"Can we forget about what you are and focus on the problem?" Legolas sighed.

"What problem is that?"

"The problem of what we're going to do with you." He focused a dark stare at her.

"Where are we anyway?" Tira began to roam around the glade. "Are we closer to Mirkwood or Rivendell?"

"Yeah, and where are Trelan and Raniean?" Eltara, fairly quiet till then, pouted.

"If you just arrived," Elrohir gave them all a confused look, "then how do you know Trelan and Raniean?"

Aragorn rubbed his chin. "Perhaps their knowing is what psychic means?"

"Exactly! Now you're catching on!" Tira clapped happily.

Legolas narrowed his eyes, thinking. "You said the cat's name was Pippin?" he asked Lindelas.

"Yes," she replied slowly.

"That sounds almost Hobbitish." Elladan spoke up. "Do you then come from Bree or thereabouts?"

"We're from–" Eltara began, only to have Lindelas step on her toes.

"Yes, we're from Bree!" Lin announced. "I named my cat after a hobbit friend of mine."

"I always knew Breelanders were a bit touched," Elladan muttered to his twin.

Aragorn wearily massaged his temple. "So, what are we supposed to do with you now? If you are indeed from Bree," the Ranger looked sceptical, "then you are far from home, as we are on the western edge of Mirkwood."

Several of the girls looked surprised.

"Yes," Aragorn continued. "Mirkwood. We are on our way back to Rivendell. We left Raniean and Trelan, whom you seem to know so well, two days ago." He paused to observe the effect of his words on the strange group of females. Oddly, none of them said anything.

"I assume you had a destination?" Legolas spoke up trying to prompt the girls to speak. "Where were you heading to, to be travelling this close to the realm of the wood Elves?"

"No where in particular. Just out for an adventure. Hey Estel, fall off of any cliffs lately?" Tira burst out. Kel glared at her.

"Um, no." Estel shuffled closer to Legolas, putting him a whole foot farther from the one with the elvish name.

"Since young ladies such as you ought not to be out and about in wilds like these unescorted, may we have the pleasure?" Elrohir offered, though Legolas and Elladan were glaring at him and shaking their heads.

"Well, that depends on what you consider _unescorted_," Tira hedged, biting her lip.

"Without escort, one should think." Elrohir furrowed his brow as he wondered where she was going with this.

"Well, we're not exactly _alone_."

"What do you mean?"

"It's probably better if we show you." Tira scanned the edges of the glade, looking for something, then let out a sharp whistle.

As the whistle died away the elves' and ranger's eyes practically popped from their heads as a half-grown warg came running towards the group.

"A warg! Legolas!" Estel shouted.

"Shoot him and die, prince or not!" Tira yelled as she leapt at Legolas.

"That's Ari." JLyH explained to the wary elves. "He's Tira's pet."

"Ari? What a strange name." Elladan was the first to speak, but all of _his_ group still seemed rather tongue-tied and off guard.

"It's short for Aragorn the Third." Tira beamed proudly.

"Tira!" Lindelas groaned. "Did you have to tell them that?"

"Aragorn the third?" Estel looked concerned.

"Yep."

"Besides that…pet…can we otherwise escort you?" Elrohir eyed the warg, wary of this new development.

"Sure!" Tira got up off the tackled Legolas and threw herself at Elrohir instead.

"Tira, behave yourself!" Tea scolded. "Or do I have to drug you?"

"No Tea, don't give me tea!" Tira obediently put her hands behind her back, away from the elf, and looked contrite.

"You would take a group of strange girls to Imladris?" Kel asked, glancing in turn at each member of the male group.

"Father will know what to do with you." It was Elladan who answered, but as Kel looked back and forth between each twin, she still wasn't sure who was who. Couldn't they specify themselves? It'd be easier!

"Lord Eye-" Londessa slapped a hand over Tira's mouth.

"Ah, ah, ah, no giving nicknames." She cautioned.

"Mmph fwrry." Tira mumbled.

"What did you say?" Estel asked.

"I'm sorry." Tira said again when Londessa removed her hand. "That hurt you know. Just wait, I'm gonna dye your hair pink!"

"Not FOO!" Kel moaned.

"Badgers!" JLyH laughed. Once again the elves and Aragorn were lost.


	2. Wargs and Tea and Bows, Oh Dear!

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Wargs and Tea and Bows, Oh Dear!

The large group set off, with Elladan and his twin in front, the girls at various places in the middle, and Legolas with Aragorn bringing up the rear. Tira had clipped an odd contraption around her warg's neck and let him run ahead of her, to the elven twins' displeasure.

From his place at the back, Aragorn spoke up. "How many of my names do you know? I am extremely curious on your knowledge of us."

The girls converged into a tight group as they muttered over the question, trying to remember them all, then place them in a proper timeframe. Finally, they spread back out and Kim turned to Aragorn.

"Seven, I think."

Aragorn looked around, slightly concerned. He had never, to his knowledge, met any of these females; that they knew so much about him was odd and disconcerting. It was Legolas who asked the next question.

"And what might those seven names be?"

Several of them spoke at once, attempting to give the names in correct order. "Estel, Aragorn, Strider, Thorongil, Dunadan, Longshanks…"

"Dunadan is more of a title than a name, does it count?" Tira questioned, only to have several sets of eyes glare her way. "What?"

Ignoring her, Aragorn bristled. "That was only six! You claimed to know seven!"

Kel slowed down to match pace with him and indicated she wanted to whisper to him. Indulging her reluctantly, he stopped and allowed her to. "We know you're the heir to the Gondor throne," she told him slowly. His mouth dropped open and he began to speak, but Kel shook her head and reassured him, "No, we aren't here to say anything to anyone. We know what could happen if…well, if."

Stepping back she studied his face, hoping he believed her. He looked more surprised than anything. Not happy with the silence, Elrohir looked back and frowned.

"What was it, the seventh name?" he demanded.

"Chuckle time!" Eltara announced loudly, enjoying her favourite pastime of confusing people and getting a good laugh in as well. Chuckles ensued from the girls, leaving the elves and ranger very confused.

"Perhaps," Elladan whispered to his twin, "One of us should hurry on ahead so father has time to prepare a large batch of…something. They seem to be in dire need of care and some concoction or other."

Closest to the front, as it put her closer to _her_ elf, Tira heard the whispered conversation over the giggles of her friends and frowned. Drawing all five feet of herself up, she shook her finger in the air Dr. King style and announced, "We have no need of tea or other concoctions from Lord Eye-"

Londessa slapped her hand over Tira's mouth once more. "You really need to stop saying that. You-Know-Who will _not_ be pleased if he hears you calling him that!" she hissed to her friend.

"Well, we don't need any tea!" Lindelas piped up, covering for them.

"Yes, we're quite sane as it is, you know!" Tea agreed wholeheartedly.

"Sane, with a warg as a pet? Somehow I just cannot believe that!" Elrohir whispered to his twin.

"Actually, I believe I know who is in need of tea? Right Estel?" JLyH interrupted the rambles of the others.

Aragorn gulped. "You know, Legolas, somehow I was hoping that my namesake would hold true and they wouldn't be these so-called 'psychics.'" He backed behind Legolas, using him as a shield, as he had numerous other occasions.

"Oh, the shield trick is being used now, is it, Estel?" Eltara smiled as if she knew more than she told.

The smile just made Aragorn shiver and step back more.

"Are we creepy too, just like the tower at Orthanc?" Eltara asked, smiling in that particular way again.

"How did you know about that...oh yes you're the _psychics._" Legolas finished.

"Are we going to get going or just stand here and chat all day?" Tira spoke up impatiently, as if she had not been the cause of the delay in the first place.

"I say we go now, tea or no tea, to be awaiting us in Rivendell," Lindelas agreed.

"I'm coming, too!" Tea spoke up.

"Of course you're com-" Tira began to say when the leash she'd put on Ari was jerked from her hand. The little warg had sensed his mistress's distraction and taken advantage of the situation to run away, a common occurrence. "Oh of all the times! Ari!"

She went running off after her pet. After a second of hesitation, the others took off after her, leaving the elves and ranger alone once more.

"We'd better go too. What if something happens to them? They're so crazy they may need help in adapting to this new land. It's not like Breelanders travel much? Do they?" Elladan said, looking at his companions.

"Well, what are we waiting for! We'd best catch up!" Aragorn interrupted Elladan's musing and with that the elves and ranger took off after the girls and the pet warg.

Up ahead they heard Kel shout out a name and give a quick whistle, and a small brown creature zoomed past them, almost giving Legolas a heart attack. Speeding up, they caught the girls in time to hear Kel give the small thing an order to go find the other warg, and Aragorn looked at it with extreme displeasure.

"My James is _such_ a well-behaved pup." Kel sighed happily. "Hard to imagine Tira trained them both…"

"James?" Aragorn quirked an eyebrow. He was relieved it was not named after someone he knew.

"James Norrington the…second." Kel trailed off, no other explanation given.

"Elrohir, got any chili peppers?" Tira's voice filtered through the trees.

"No, I do not believe I do. Any particular reason?" Elrohir answered, confusion in his voice. What on earth was a _chili pepper_?

"The Wargs are a little hungry, that's all."

Aragorn took yet another step further back behind Legolas, only to be grabbed by elven hands and forced out in front, finding himself the shield now.

"Oh, thanks Legolas, I feel so safe now," he said, eyeing his friend. Legolas smiled back at him, accepting the thank you and not the sarcasm.

As they listened to Tira chase the warg pups in circles, Kim got a bright idea and sidled up next to Aragorn to see if it was viable. He thought about it for a moment, then pulled his brothers into the conversation. After some deliberation, they began removing supplies from packs and scouting the area close by for ingredients, while Elladan and Aragorn carefully mixed the ones they had together.

Just as they were finished with the mix, Tira and Eltara, each carrying a warg, showed back up. Both had dirt smudges on cheeks, hands and clothes, and bits of leaf and twig in their hair; Ari had given them quite a chase. Kim circumspectly stepped in front of the ranger to hide his actions while JLyH and Kel distracted the two other girls.

"Why this one did not learn as well as James, I do not know." Tira growled, giving Ari a small shake. Eltara chuckled as she handed James back to Kel, who placed the well-behaved pup at her feet. To Tira's disgust, the creature immediately sat and stayed. Shoving a piece of jerky into her pup's face she put him down, then looped the end of the leash into her belt.

"Tira, your warg is _just like_ you." JLyH said sweetly, causing Eltara to snort. "Oh, and don't even get me started on you and-"

"Thirsty Tira?" Elrohir asked suddenly, proffering her a cup. The girl eyed it warily.

"This isn't a trick or anything?"

"Why would I trick you?"

"Because you're you."

"Well that's a dumb reason. No, it's not a trick. See, Legolas has a cup for Eltara, and the other girls already have theirs."

Tira and Eltara traded looks, then stared at the cups. With a shrug, they downed them at the same time, a mini competition of who could drink faster without choking. As she handed the cup back to the elf, Tira blinked, then narrowed her eyes.

"What the? You're all fuz-" She crumpled into a puddle. Eltara began giggling at the sight of her friend on the ground, only to realise she felt a little funny.

"Oh, you didn't." She sighed before falling forward.

Ari sniffed at his mistress, then began to dig at the end of his leash, trying to make an escape. Kel tutted, swatted his nose, then tied the leash to her own belt. Meanwhile, Aragorn looked at the two sleeping girls in surprise.

"I didn't think it would work so fast." He cast a suspicious glance at his brothers, figuring one of them must have been a little overzealous with a certain ingredient. Elladan, he noted, looked far too innocent and nonchalant at his statement. He shook his head. "Anyway, who is going to carry them?"

"_You're_ the one that drugged them!" JLyH replied.

"It was _your_ idea!" the ranger shot back.

The elven twins, extremely amused by this turn of events, followed the argument with smirks on their fair faces.

"Tira has a crush on Ro!" Lindelas offered in a backwards attempt to diffuse the situation, and she didn't seem to notice that Elrohir looked startled at this.

"Oh good, Ro can carry her then." Aragorn, who had picked the limp girl off the ground, dumped her into his brother's arms, but Elrohir hadn't expected that and almost dropped her, managing to graze her head on a rock as he fumbled.

"That's right, damage her why don't ya?" JLyH snorted disgustedly. Elrohir shot her a sheepish look, apologetic. He quickly settled Tira in his arms, giving the sleeping girl an odd look.

"And this one?" Legolas looked at Eltara.

"You carry her." Elladan said.

"But I'm the best archer, I need my hands free." He whined.

"No one here is strong enough to carry anyone else." The girls grouped together and chimed.

"Guess it's up to one of you three." Kel smiled sweetly at Legolas.

"No, no, no, and again NO! I think the girl is insane anyway, why should I-" Legolas was cut off by a glare from Elrohir. The way the twin figured, if he had to carry Tira, then Legolas had to carry Eltara.

"Fine." Legolas finally gave in and picked the girl up, throwing her over his shoulder.

The motley crew set off in blessed silence, only the sound of footfalls and breathing filling the air.

For now.

-0-

It was twilight as Tira opened her eyes, her head banging like drums. She blearily focused on one of the elf twins -she was too foggy-headed and her vision wavering too much to tell who- as he stoked the fire, and he turned to her and frowned. Nodding his head in her direction, he caught Kim's eye and the girl went over to see if her friends needed anything. Tira sighed and closed her eyes, falling back into sleep from exhaustion and headache.

The rest of the group sat around the fire, trying to make sense of it all, discussing the warg pups and Pippin the cat, who was currently hiding under a blanket. The biggest thing the two very different groups had in common was their confusion over the situation.

As the night wore on, the girls all slowly drifted to sleep, sharing blankets doled to them by the elves, since the elves and ranger weren't carrying enough to go one apiece.

JLyH yawned and stretched. She was stiff and achy. Where was she? Turning over, she bumped into Kel sleeping next to her. Sitting up quickly, her memory returning, she looked around the camp.

It was barely dawn. Eltara and Tira looked like they were waking up. Kel was still in dreamville. El and El were doing something over the fire – coffee maybe? Oh, she hoped so. _I would kill for a cup of…_ Giggling, she nudged Kel awake.

Kel blinked sleepily. "What?"

JLyH pointed. "Look at Legolas."

Kel started laughing at the site of Pippin curled around the prince's head. "Hey, Lindelas was right. She does like Legolas!"

Tira, Eltara, and Kim woke up and, seeing what the others were laughing at, couldn't keep from laughing themselves.

"How _cute_!"

Legolas sat up quickly at the loud exclamation and looked in irritation at the small furry creature. He couldn't help smiling though. It was kind of cute. Perhaps his father wouldn't mind another pet.

El and El looked at each other, barely repressing their own laughter. They planned to get years of torment for the prince out of this.

At that moment, Estel came out of the woods, his serious expression causing all to straighten up. "We have a problem."

Aragorn cringed as said "problem" came crashing down behind him. Spiders. _Lots_ of quickly scooped up the cat and handed her off to Lindelas before grabbing his bow and rushing to meet Estel and the twins, who had already begun to pick off the evil creatures, many of which now laying dead or dying on the ground.

Lindelas put Pippin on the ground, knowing the little cat would scurry off and hide wherever she felt safest, and then scooped up the bow she'd arrived with, wishing she had more arrows. The other girls who were more alert picked up their own weapons and leapt into the fray.

Tira groaned put her hands up to her head, which still hurt. She slowly opened one eye and saw Eltara looking at her. She looked like Tira felt. Slowly, Tira opened the other, then looked around in confusion, noting Eltara followed her moves. The two girls finally caught sight of the commotion that had everyone scurrying.

"OOOH! Spiders!" Tira squealed. "I always wanted to see one up close!"

"Not me." Eltara cringed.

Tossing Eltara her sword, Tira picked up someone's left behind or extra bow and any arrows she could find. She'd always wanted to try her hand at proper archery.

"OW! What in Arda was that?" Aragorn shouted suddenly, looking down at his thigh.

"Oops." Tira said, throwing her bow to the side and looking innocent.

"Uh-oh." Eltara giggled. "You shot Longshanks."

"I didn't mean to; my head is killing me. It probably doesn't help that I can't see distances too well…"

"No, I don't think that helps." Eltara agreed.

"Quick, let's go back and pretend we haven't gotten up yet." Tira and Eltara attempted to sneak away, only to be stopped short by the twins. Tira grinned – innocently, of course – at Ro. "Hey, what's happening?"

Before Elrohir could answer, Estel was limping over to the girls. "Who shot me?"

Tira and Eltara pointed at the other one, then pointed at Ro. Elrohir's jaw dropped and Elladan snickered.

"Let me take a look at you." Legolas said as he led Aragorn to a nearby fallen trunk.

"I'm.…""FINE!" all the girls finished at once, giggling.

Aragorn pushed Legolas' hands away. "It's only a scratch, really." He looked up and glared at the girls. "Where did you learn to shoot, anyway?"

"Hey, we can't all shoot like elves, now can we?" Tira said, affronted.

"Maybe you could teach us," JLyH suggested, batting her eyes at Legolas. "Like teaching the young ones!"

"We don't have time for this," Aragorn stated, standing. "We have to get to Rivendell and winter is fast approaching. We can't afford these delays."

"Well, you don't have to be so grumpy." Kel said, trying to be helpful but also rather put-out. Really, he was just being snappish this morning, wasn't he? Who put the rude-juice in his Java?

Aragorn glared. "It happens when I get shot."

"That's beside the point. Tira didn't mean to shoot you, and we did help with those spiders," Lindelas said. Tira snorted, but retained her innocent look.

Elladan rolled his eyes. "Help? You…" He sighed. "Let's just get going. We have a long road ahead of us."

After a few hours trek, with the elves and Aragorn getting increasingly angry at the incessant chatter from the girls, they called a halt.

"You're not gonna drug us again, are you?" Eltara looked at the twins suspiciously.

"Yeah, I don't need any more bumps on my head." Tira glared at Aragorn.

"I didn't drop you, Elrohir did!" he protested.

"But I can't be mad at him, he's my elf-knight." Tira said seriously. She didn't see, but Elrohir looked uncomfortable at that.

"So you're mad at me?"

"You drugged me." She replied, her logic making perfect sense…to her.

"Alright, enough of this nonsense." Legolas stepped between them. Tira still had that sword, and no one wanted her to behead the future king.

"I'm hungry." Lindelas moaned. "So's Pippin."

"And me." JLyH chimed in.

"I think we're all hungry." Kel finished. She eyed the elves' bows. "You're all hunters, go do whatever it is you do."

"Are you sure that's wise? They never come home with game." Londessa frowned.

"That's not true!" Elladan protested.

As Elladan fought to keep his honour, what sounded very much like a tantrum issued from the woods to their left. It was not even a full minute when a very bedraggled and unhappy Star Gazer made her appearance, ranting on about trees and dirt and…elves?

Seeing three elves in front of her she paused, then took advantage of the silence to continue her rant, walking right up to Legolas to shake a finger at him, telling him she did _not_ like these woods, and if she was in Mirkwood, she was blaming him for such a horrible, dark place.

Legolas looked less than amused at the girl scolding him, but his reaction was waylaid as Elladan glanced between her and Kel, the calm one that Aragorn got along with so well.

"Twins?" Elrohir finally managed to spit out.

"Triplets actually." Kel answered absently, not really paying much attention. "SG, stop screeching, you're embarrassing me!"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Nothing will ever surprise me again after this."

"Au contraire, my dear elf," Tira quipped knowingly. Legolas just shook his head as is he was trying to wake up from a dream.

"We're still hungry!" Lindelas whined. "Go shoot something!"

Kel grinned evilly. "Or…we could…"

"Absolutely not!" Aragorn protested vehemently. "I've seen how some of you shoot!" He glared at Tira, who again only smiled innocently.

With one last 'tsk' Star Gazer, better known as SG, stopped her scold and began to look around. "It _is_ Mirkwood, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Londessa shrugged. "And we're all _very hungry_."

"Yes, yes we are." Lindelas put in her two cents, glaring at Aragorn. The ranger just shook his head and clapped his hands over his ears to better block out the annoying chatter.

"Triplets?" Elladan asked, confused.

"It's like twins, but there are three of them, rather than two." Kel answered, rather matter- of-fact. Elladan stared at her with a rather dumbfounded and slightly horrified look.

Totally unconcerned with the whys and wherefores of the situation, SG continued to ask questions unceasingly.

"Trey and Ran don't just happen to be here too, do they?"

"No, Trelan and Raniean are not here." Legolas replied shortly.

"Ro and I will go hunt, and we will bring something back!" Elladan volunteered. He didn't want to admit it, but this motley crew of charming young women were growing on him. Even the new one, who had stopped screeching but instead was asking questions.

"You can't leave me alone with them!" Aragorn pleaded.

"You're not alone, you have Legolas." Elrohir said with a grin.

"Yeah, you got Legs the elf-boy here to protect you from us." Tira batted her eyelashes. "Wait till Lord Ey-"

"Tira!" Kel slapped her hand over Tira's mouth –again– to keep her from using the undignified nickname.

"Legs the elf-boy?" Legolas raised his eyebrows.

"Don't pay attention to her." Tea answered.

Meanwhile, the twins had made their escape to hunt and were discussing the girls.

"Tell me truly, Dan, what do you think of them?"

"They can be annoying, but I think I'm rather beginning to like them."

"Anyone in particular?" Ro teased.

"No, unlike you." Elladan shot back, shooting his brother a sly look. Elrohir affected an air of incomprehension. "That really annoying one that grins all the time…"

"Tira? The one who shot Estel?"

"Yeah, her. She has that crush on you…"

"Do you think I'll escape unharmed?" the younger twin asked worriedly.

"Do you think any of us will escape unharmed?" Elladan rejoined.

Back in camp, SG was still asking away.

"Are there spiders here? Are they nasty looking? Can we go see the Elvenking? Hey, can I touch your bow, Legolas? Aragorn, that looks painful. You should be more careful. I'm hungry, they gonna be back soon? Hey! Anyone got some water?"

Aragorn and Legolas sighed as they looked at each other. This was going to be a looooong trip home.


	3. And the Insanity Continues

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

And the Insanity Continues

Legolas had been cornered by SG and was having his ear talked off as she asked question after question about the woods, Middle-Earth, Ran and Trey, his father, and anything else she could think of. He kept trying to get Aragorn's attention in hopes that he would save him, but Aragorn was busy trying not to get caught in the same situation with the other girls.

"I'm _bored_." Lindelas finally grumbled.

"Same here. They left at least two hours ago, what is taking so long?" Kel agreed.

SG paused in her query to look around, and Legolas took advantage of it to lean over to Aragorn. "I think your brothers had the right idea."

"I will have you know we are _great_ company." SG sniffed.

"Indeed!" Tira agreed. "Besides, knowing them, they probably got into trouble again."

"Oh my gosh!" JLyH suddenly jumped up. "You're right. This is MC!" She turned frantically to her friends. "We have to find them!"

Kel's eyes widened. "Oh no… They're probably out there getting killed, tortured, captured, or worse! I mean, we're here, aren't we? What if a mob of rabid fangirls showed up?"

"Or," Tira said, "Maybe they're just getting food. It's not always that horrible."

SG nodded, and the group slightly calmed down. Then, out of the blue… "Legolas, are there usually wargs in Mirkwood?" SG asked, looking at her nails. Ew…she wanted nail polish and a file. Her nails were raggedy and dirty from her trip.

"No...Why?"

"Well, yesterday when I was stumbling around looking for some sign of proper civilization I saw a couple."

"What? Wargs?" Aragorn shot to his feet. Gulping, Tira regretted her earlier words.

"Or," she looked horrified as she rose to her feet, "It could be that bad."

"Maybe you saw these two!" Kel said, holding up Ari and James and plopping them in SG's lap.

SG shrugged casually. (She was obviously still suffering from world-to-world travel and her many long hours of wandering around alone with no clear direction or clue as to where she was when she was clearly supposed to be in the woods near her house, not in dark, spooky places that weren't decent and needed a good airing out.) "Probably. Why do you have two warg puppies anyway?"

"It's a _long_ story…" Tira stated, with no further explanation.

"One I'd like to hear," Legolas muttered.

"Did you say earlier that we were in M.C.? The normal abbreviation for Middle Earth is M.E. not M.C., by the way," Aragorn attempted to correct what he did not know.

"Oh, sorry…" JLyH hid the fact that that wasn't what she had meant. "But seriously, we should go look for them…There might really be wargs out there."

"No, seriously, we don't have to!" Legolas half-mocked the girl's fright. "They are just out hunting…not every hunting trip ends in tragedy, you know…and there are not many wargs in Mirkwood…save for these two."

"ESTEL! LEGOLAS! HELP, QUICK!" a shout came out of the woods.

"I stand corrected," Legolas muttered under his breath as JLyH smirked smugly at him. Without a word, they headed off, the elf and ranger beginning to track down the twins. It was hard to track elves normally, but these had made no attempt to hide their tracks so to the experienced eye it was quite simple, and they arrived at the scene quickly.

"Elladan? What happened?" Estel stopped short.

The sight before them had all attempting to cover their laughter. The twins were trapped on the ground by a familiar looking plant, but the source of their true discomfort quickly became apparent.

A small, furry, brown creature was licking their faces without mercy and the twins, with their arms held by the plant, were powerless to stop it.

"Aww, Tyndel likes them!" Tira giggled.

"Tyndel likes everyone." Kim couldn't stop laughing.

"What is that?" Legolas asked. He had never seen anything quite like it. How could one tell the head from the bottom? It was just a bundle of fur.

"Who cares what it is, Legolas!" Elladan exclaimed.

"Help... Gross!" Elrohir spit to the side. "My mouth was open."

Aragorn and Legolas couldn't contain their laughter anymore. This was too funny.

JLyH picked Tyndel up and cuddled him. "How did you get here, baby?"

Legolas and Estel looked at each other.

"Recognize this?" Aragorn asked.

"How could I forget?" Legolas replied. "Come, let's get them out."

After several close calls, for apparently Legolas' long hair continued to be a favourite for these plants, the twins were freed.

"Where did that come from?" Elrohir asked, eyeing it uneasily as they backed away. "I've never seen anything like it."

"They have." Tira pointed at Legolas and Aragorn.

"What is that thing?" Legolas asked, ignoring Tira and looking at Tyndel.

"A puppy," SG replied. "He's so cute! Not as cute as my badger though!" Butch appeared from the pockets of her coat. "Isn't he wonderful. Pink works well with him."

"Wait a second." Aragorn's brain had finally caught up with an earlier comment. "Is its name Tyndel?" He looked at Legolas in confusion. How come these animals kept having familiar names?

"Yep. Short for Tyndolhen. My mom couldn't pronounce it, so I shortened it to Tyndel." JLyH answered absently.

"How do you know that name?" Legolas asked sharply. These girls knew way too much for his comfort.

"I just…made it up?" JLyH's answer sounded more like a question.

"Oh, look at the sun!" Lindelas exclaimed, even though they were deep enough in the woods the sun was not visible. "We have to start moving. It's going to be night soon."

"I'm still hungry. Where's the food?" Kel looked around at the elves and ranger.

El, El, Legolas, and Aragorn sighed. This was going to be a long trip.

"Oh, hey!" Kel said suddenly as she pulled a baggie of jerky out of her pack. "I forgot this was in here."

"Where did that come from?" Elladan asked, seeing his hunting trip would have been in vain even if they had come back with meat.

Swallowing, Kel answered, "I don't know, it was in my pack...who knows how it got there."

Elladan eyed her oddly. She didn't even know what was in her own pack? "That's odd, as everyone else seems to have some as well…" he noticed that it was quiet at last, now that all the girls were eating; he hoped it would stay that way.

"Oh, well, I had extra, and my pack was full 'cause of the stor- um, my journal. I stuck all the extras in the other packs." Tira looked sheepish for having forgotten this.

Suddenly they heard a loud scream coming from nearby.

"Spider! Spider! Spider!" JRH ran out, shaking her arms and yelling at the top of her lungs. Everyone grabbed their weapons and began looking towards the trees.

"Get it off! Get it off!" JRH was almost in tears as she ran to JLyH.

JLyH jumped back with a scream. "Spider!"

Everyone was really confused until Tira reached over and knocked the spider off of JRH's arm. Legolas, El, El and El all looked shocked.

"You mean you were scared of _that_?" Legolas asked, flabbergasted.

"It was a _spider_ and it was _on_ me!" JRH shuddered; the others, at least, had to give her that. They all had their phobias, of course.

"She really hates spiders," JLyH explained.

"I _really_ hate...spiders?" JRH looked around her for the first time. "Oh…my…goodness. Legolas? Estel? El and El?" She turned to JLyH. "What is going on here? I know I haven't had much sleep lately, but hallucinations?"

"It's Tira's beef jerky." Londessa piped up. "It's causing mass hallucinations."

"Hey!" Tira protested. "That is _so_ not true and you know it!"

"Well, it's the only _plausible_ explanation for us…having wandered so far." Londessa trailed off and changed her original sentence, remembering in the nick of time that the elves and ranger thought they were from Bree.

"Where did _you_ come from?" Legolas looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or run screaming for Ada at the sight of another one. "Wait a minute." He looked at JLyH. "Another one?"

JRH looked exasperated. "We don't look _that_ much alike! And I don't know how I got here! One minute I was thinking about how I could get out of doing my homework and the next I'm wandering through some trees. I went through a _spider's_ web. I definitely need therapy." She looked around.

At that moment Tyndel, who had been smelling all of the new smells, found one of his squeaky toys and happily began making as much noise as possible.

Legolas looked towards Aragon. "Kill me now."

"Tsk, tsk. Asking him to sully himself with manslaughter? What kind of friend are you?" Tira demanded, giving him an incredulous look. Then she paused, as if considering what she had said. "Or rather…_elf_slaughter," she corrected. "Or is it just homicide? Which constitutes that and which constitute this?" she mused to herself, then waved it off. Hands on hips, she insisted, "What kind of friend are you?"

Truthfully, she didn't care. She just wanted to distract any thoughts caught on JRH's nigh-disastrous explanation. Perhaps a change of topic could sail those thoughts right out their proverbially mental windows and into the great wide blue wherein…things could get lost. Yes.

Elladan, however, was looking back and forth between Kel and SG and JLyH and JRH, apparently not having paid attention to what was said in lieu of his confusion. "Do all of you have twins?"

"We're triplets, not twins." SG corrected, eyeing the twin who had spoken. Which one was he? Had they ever specified? Was she out of the loop? Oh blast.

"Only two sets here!" Tea answered happily, still munching on her jerky. "You and 'em. Pity, though. Twins are kind of fun." She grinned.

"What is that sound?" Legolas covered his ears. Stars, he couldn't think! Couldn't someone shut them all up? Why couldn't there be quiet?

"Tyndel likes his squeaky toys," Eltara explained. "I think he just likes making noises."

Elrohir picked Tyndel up and carried him away from the toy. He was starting to get a headache, no matter how much these girls were growing on him.

Aragorn stepped closer to his brother. What had they called it again? A puppy? He had never seen a puppy before. And it was kind of... Aragorn jerked back as Tyndel sneezed in his face.

Tira started laughing. "He seems to like doing that to people."

Elrohir quickly dropped Tyndel, in case the same fate befell him. Tyndel wagged his tail and proceeded to find his toy and began making as much noise as possible.

"JRH! Kill it!" Kel said. "If you don't throw the squeaky thing away, please at least take the squeaky part out!" The girl then proceeded to walk over and pick both dog and toy up, separating them and handing the toy to JRH.

JLyH took the squeaky toy from her sister and put it in her bag. Kel put Tyndel down so he and Butch could play.

"Now, where are we going?" JRH looked around.

"Rivendell," Aragorn answered.

Tea snorted. "Flashback!" she threw her arms out. "'Rivendell, Master Gamgee,'" she said in a deep voice. Laughing, she said, "That's funny!"

"Tea!" Eltara smacked her arm. ("Ow!" Tea pouted.) "Don't go telling that!"

"Sorry. It was just funny," the chastised girl apologized.

Lindelas looked around and noticed that the elves and ranger were standing away from the group. "Uh, guys. I think we're scaring them." ("Scary? We're hardly scary! Take it like men!" Tira muttered in the background.)

Kel laughed. "A bunch of teenaged girls! What's to be scared about?"

"Well, I want to meet Thrandy. Can we?" SG asked.

Four mouths dropped open. "Thrandy?" Legolas managed to squeak out.

SG hid her smirk of pure amusement at the sound of Legolas' rather surprised squeak.

"Yes. Thrandy." An evil grin spread across her face. "You wanna hear all of _your_ nicknames, oh beautiful blond man?" she asked, recalling the name one of her friends had given him.

Kel immediately clapped her hand over her sister's mouth while Legolas' eyes widened and all of the others giggled.

Finally regaining some composure, Legolas answered, "No. I'd rather not."

JLyH obviously disagreed. "Oh, come on, Legi."

Legolas stared at her oddly.

"Lego? Legsy? Elvish princeling? Elf-boy? Orli?" the girl recited several names while Legolas' face grew increasingly frightened. Putting a finger to her chin, JLyH looked back at her companions. "Can any of you think of any others?"

No one said anything, until a smile spread over Tira's features. "Prissy elf."

"Legi?" Legolas was cut off from his bewildered sentence.

"And you! Gorny, Ari, Stridy, greaseball, Ranger-Boy…" SG continued until Kel placed her hand firmly over her sister's mouth again. "n u oo, mm, o, an, e ins…" the girl continued to list nicknames anyway, miming marking them off on her fingers.

"Hey, SG, I'll bet all that jerky you ate made you thirsty," Tea smiled sweetly. "I have some water here for you."

"Oh…" SG stopped her monologue and smiled as Kel removed her hand. "Thanks." Taking the cup she downed it, then frowned. "That's not water…"

Kel did her best to lower her sister to the ground, then turned to Legolas and Aragorn to apologise. "Well, that's that…I'm really sorry about those nicknames…I-"

"Did she just call me what I think she did?" Legolas started to say, staring, horrified.

"Yes, I'm afraid she did…I'm not too fond of the name, but she thinks it funny…here, I probably can't carry her the whole way…so…who will pay the price for her to shut up?" Kel looked at the elves and ranger; her gaze landed on Elladan.

Elladan sighed wearily, but didn't protest as he lifted SG's limp form. "Now, if there are no more interruptions perhaps we can make our way to Rivendell?" he said pointedly.

Some of the girls started to talk until Elrohir raised the waterskin with the special mixture menacingly. The girls promptly shut their mouths.

"Filthy Ranger." SG mumbled in her sleep. All the girls burst out laughing.

"Is there - no - _peace_?" Legolas shouted toward the sky, but Elladan's lips quirked into a treacherous smile.

"My, my. They _do_ know you well, little brother."

"Oh shush! can we just go?" Aragorn huffed.

"Yes, let's go. It's still quite a hike to Rivendell." Elrohir started off, the girls falling in behind. Elladan readjusted his grip on SG and followed.

The twins had decided they liked the odd group, especially after that final comment, and no longer were as scared of them. Legolas and Aragorn, on the other hand, were more than confused and not a little weirded out by them.

The group continued hiking until it got too dark for the girls and Aragorn to see where they were going, and made a temporary camp. Legolas had grudgingly gone out and shot a deer and the venison was roasting over a fire.

"Ooh, food…." SG mumbled as she slowly awoke.

"Not yet, sister dear." Kel answered. "Almost. Have some water."

"Or tea." Tea laughed darkly.

"No tea!" Tira scolded.

"Food's ready!" Elrohir called. In a not so orderly fashion the girls crowded around.

After eating, which was a fairly silent meal as they were all too hungry to talk, the girls found their blankets and comfortable spots to lay down, Tira maneuvering hers near the twins, much to Elladan's amusement. He had found it hilarious the girl insisted on being near them at all times.

"Legi…I'm cold." SG pouted.

"That is what the blanket is for." He replied.

"Aw, Legolas…be nice to the girl." Elrohir prodded.

"Really, they aren't that bad." Elladan said.

"Yeah, we're not that bad!" JRH and JLyH chimed in a Greek chorus.

"Hmph. Maybe tomorrow. For now, stay away." Legolas and Aragorn settled themselves in a tree. Aragorn didn't particularly want to be in the tree, but he didn't necessarily want to be down on the ground with the girls, either. He wasn't crazy like his brothers, after all; and those girls obviously needed mental help.

"Well, I never." Kel muttered, glaring into said tree.

"They'll get over it." Elrohir murmured. "Just wait, they'll like you girls just as much as we do soon enough."

"Oooh, can I have a good night kiss?" Tira batted her eyelashes and smiled winningly at her favourite twin.

"Um…" He drew back slightly and looked at his brother, who was doing a terrible job of hiding his laughter, the traitor. How unhelpful.

"Pwease?" Tira pouted.

Elrohir was saved by the sound of someone -or something- crashing through the woods. Quickly he and Elladan went to investigate, coming back within minutes with yet another looked around in confusion. She was in awe of the twins escorting her, and couldn't quite come to grips with it.

"Hi, I'm Calenlass…" She started, looking around at the group.

"Do you read MC?" Tira asked, her kiss forgotten.

(In the tree, Aragorn elbowed Legolas along with a softly spoken "There's that 'MC' again…" to which Legolas just sent him a disgruntled, grumpy look. He'd had quite enough of these females, thank you, and no amount of intrigue or conspiracy theories would grab his interest tonight. Let the twins like the girls all they wanted; he'd like them very much to be gone.)

"Yes, I love MC."

"Then you belong here with us. Grab a blanket, have whatever dinner is left, and settle down." Kel handed her a plate and blanket.

"We're going to Rivendell." JLyH volunteered.

"Oh, awesome! I'll get to meet Lord Elrond!"

"Oh yes, we can't wait to meet Lord Eye-"

"TIRA!" Everyone shouted at once.

"What is it you are stopping her from saying?" Legolas' voice drifted down from the tree, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Never mind!" the girls chorused.

Legolas grunted, less than pleased. He would find out what she was trying to say if it was the last thing he did.

Calenlass found that a full belly and a long day made even the ground look comfortable. Within minutes, all were sound asleep. Elrohir, standing guard, smiled. They really were amusing and likeable young ladies. He found he was looking forward to the rest of their trip.

The elves and ranger had several days of quiet travelling time. They found how -shall we say- receptive the girls were to threats of drugging. The animals continued to be a problem, though.

"Ari! Stop messing with Tyndel," Tira sighed. For some reason, Tyndel thought he could fight the warg. No one ever claimed he was a bright puppy.

JLyH picked him up and carried him for a few miles before giving up and putting him in her backpack.

"Sis!" JRH cried.

"What? He can breathe. He's fine." She assured.

Pippin stuck with Legolas, who was seriously starting to consider taking the cute animal home with him, a fact he had not shared with Lindelas.

"Where's James?" Kel asked.

"Over playing with Butch." SG pointed. "They're fine."

"How far are we from Rivendell?" Tea asked. "I'm tired of walking. Boy, do I miss cars."

"What are cars?" Elrohir asked.

"Uh, well, they're…" Tea looked around, eyes begging for someone to get her out of her mistake.

"Stop avoiding the answer, El," JLyH called him, as she wasn't sure which twin this morning was who, "If you don't know how far away we are, just say so." She desperately tried to change the topic.

"I'm not avoiding it. We're two days away," Elrohir defended.

James came up then holding something in his mouth, distracting the group.

"What do you have, boy?" Tira asked, stopping to look.

JRH looked closely, slowing to a halt. "Is that…?"

"Oh, my. Give my that!" Kim quickly snatched the object and hid it behind her back. "Where did he get that?"

Kel looked at SG. "Did you bring that with you?"

SG looked insulted. "NO!"

"What is it?" Aragorn asked. The group had come to a standstill by now and all eyes and interests were focused on the mysterious item.

"Nothing," came the quick response. None of the girls would look at the elves and ranger.

"Then why are you hiding it? What is it?" Elladan persisted, trying to distract Kim from what Legolas was doing. It worked too, because she was momentarily distracted by the incongruent question of which twin was who. Blast that!

"Hey!" Kim cried as Legolas grabbed it out of her hand.

"Is that…?" Elrohir looked quizzical.

"How in Arda?" Aragorn, like his brother, was no less confused.

"Hey, that looks like…" Elladan started.

"Me!" Legolas exclaimed, staring at the plushie in his hand.

SG snatched away the plushie and tossed it to Kel, who was behind her, and shook her head with a plastic smile. "It's nothing, really! Just a, uh…a doll," she explained, seeming as though she was trying to appear as if she knew what she was talking about, "that, uh… Tira…got for Christmas last year!" She maintained her fake smile while Kel backed up into a tree and deposited said plushie into a hole in its trunk, but screamed soon there after.

"No! No, no, no! Come back, you little beast!" Kel screamed at the tree, apparently gone mad.

"Kel, are you alright?" Tira asked uncertainly, leaning to her left to get a view of the girl.

"Yes—OUCH! You stupid squirrel! Give that back!" But, as she got a better look at the squirrel, she realized that it was much too large to be such an animal. Then, she realized that it was pink.

"Star! Come get your pink thief of a badger away from me!"

SG complied with a sigh, and took Butch out of the hole and snuggled him.

"You would never really hurt her, would you, Butch? No. And you would never, ever, ever—oh no." SG's baby voice dropped as she stared at the small plushie arm that remained in Butch's mouth.

As Legolas stood with a dumbfounded expression on his face, in his mind, the thought that these girls were dangerous, insane and needed to be treated with caution, was even more firmly rooted.

Tira, seeing the look on his face, hooted with laughter. "Oh the look on your face, princeling, is utterly hilarious!"

Legolas bristled at the princeling comment, but was stopped from further comment by Eltara who piped up, "By any chance does someone have a camera? This is just one of those moments!"

A round of agreements was heard from all of the girls and Elladan spoke up suddenly. "What's a camera?"

"Thanks _sooo_ much Eltara," JLyH said sarcastically. "Exactly how are they going to understand what a camera is?"

"They didn't understand a car, either," Londessa piped up. (Kel nearly pounded her forehead with an open palm. Oh, no, no, no…what happened to their unspoken agreements about whereabouts and such? They were in the wilderness, for Pete's sake! What if their escort abandoned them? They didn't know Middle-Earth terrain and locale intimately enough (and no, it doesn't matter that Tira has an "A+" on Middle-Earth Geography…it doesn't _count_) to get to civilization before dying of thirst or starvation or exposure.)

"I love confusing people!" SG whispered. She nudged Eltara, "Care for some mischief? I'm sure Kel would join us."

Legolas was still standing there dumbfounded even more by the crazed girls and El and El were whispering among themselves, trying to figure out what the cameras and cars were that kept being mentioned.

James decided to snatch the doll from Butch (who bared his teeth and tried to get it back) and began playing with it again. SG, Eltara and Kel were scheming and recruiting the rest of the girls and more chaos was sure to ensue.

"No, no, no, I say!" Kelenloth protested, backing away from the group. "Okay…we can play jokes after we get safely to the house of Lord Elrond. But for now, I would rather not be stuck in the high pass in winter! We all know what could happen!" She looked at her friends, her gaze stopping on Aragorn lastly. Boy, the poor ranger must think them crazy…or (perhaps worse) creepy!

Several of the girls agreed with her. They could wait to play their tricks… but play them they would.

"True," Kim said, "the mountains are between us and Rivendell, and winter should be here soon. I agree with Kel," she finished, walking over to her friend.

"Finally," Legolas muttered under his breath. Finally they might be getting somewhere.


	4. If the Mountain Won't Come to Us

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

If the Mountain Won't Come to Us…

The fall air was crisp as the walk continued. The plushie mishap over, the remains hastily buried inside of SG's pack with Butch, who was enjoying the further destruction of, things seemed to be going smoothly. Kel had dropped back to talk to Aragorn about rangering, and he decided that maybe, in small, individual doses these girls weren't _too_ bad.

The twins had gotten into a confusing conversation with some of the others about their homes and families. Though he enjoyed talking with her, Elrohir was trying to keep his distance from Tira, as that grin she kept flashing at him was a little scary, if not downright predatory. (This also established, in the other girls' minds, a difference between the twins with which they could tell the two apart—Elrohir was the one trying to stay away from Tira, especially when she was trying to get too near him.)

Tyndel had managed to escape the backpack, and had decided to take on James. While James was normally a placid pup, having a little squeaker like Tyndel trying to best him got his dander up and the two animals got to roughhousing. Ari strained at his leash as he tried to join in what he considered fun. Finally, James and Tyndel decided to be friends and ganged up on poor little Pippin, who ultimately fixed matters on her own by clawing her way up Legolas' back and settling with a huff on his shoulder.

"You can't have my cat." Lindelas stated, coming up beside him.

"But she likes me!" Legolas protested as he fondly stroked her fur down.

"Will someone _please_ get these animals under control!" Aragorn yelled.

"Sing, Legolas,"" JLyH said, chasing after the hyper pups.

"Yes, they like music!" Tea echoed.

"No, he can't do that! They'll fall asleep!" Eltara protested.

Before anyone else could speak, arrows began pouring into their midst from the nearby trees.

"Not more orcs!" Kim said worriedly.

"More? You mean this is the second time?" Calenlass asked, clearly startled. An arrow whizzed by, wide by about two and half feet, but still way too close for comfort. She gulped.

"Stop talking and get under cover!" Elladan yelled.

Despite the gravity of their situation, Legolas couldn't resist, "And _do not_ give Tira a bow!"

"Agreed, she's bad enough with a sword!" Londessa chimed in as the group ran for the trees.

"What do you mean?" Cal asked as they hurried to get their weapons.

"Tira is…overly enthusiastic…with her sword." Kim replied, ducking behind a tree.

"At least I brought down the most orcs last time!" Tira said as she whipped said sword out, this time almost hitting her favourite elf.

"Watch it!" Elrohir yelled.

"Sorry!" Tira laughed and tried to hug him, but he was having none of that.

"Um, you can go over there, and try not to kill anyone who is not an orc." He sighed.

The fight ensued. This band of orcs was tougher than the first, but with the elves and Aragorn on their side they were slowly getting the best of the nasty creatures. By the end of the small battle all the orcs were dead and Aragorn was sitting on a rock glaring in Tira's general direction, an arrow lodged in his boot.

Tira, meanwhile, was happily bandaging and applying random herbs to everyone's wounds (thankfully all minor), getting them correct, to Elladan and Elrohir's surprise.

"Where'd you get that?" Kel asked Aragorn.

"Who gave that girl a bow?" He growled, pointing to Tira.

"She didn't have one. She used her sword." Kel looked confused. Glancing around, she saw Cal looking horrified. "Cal?"

"I think I did that! I'm so sorry!" Cal looked so apologetic Aragorn couldn't be mad.

"As long as it wasn't her." He grumped.

"What did Tira do to get on your bad side?" Cal asked.

"She shot me, and had the temerity to laugh about it."

"Oh my."

"Let me tend that 'scratch' Aragorn." Tira had made her way over.

"You will not touch me. Ro or Legolas can do it."

"They're busy checking my work on the others. C'mon, please? Don't make me make a scene!" She picked up her sword and checked the blade's sharpness.

"A scene! But those are for tea drinking!" Lindelas joined the conversation.

"But still, a scene is what I'll cause if I don't get to look at his scratch!" Tira announced.

"I'll save you the trouble and tend to it myself." Legolas carefully pried the sword from Tira and pushed her towards Kel, handing the sword to JLyH. "Make sure she does not get that back until Rivendell."

"What if we run into more trouble?" Tea asked sensibly.

"Then she can fight. But I don't want her to have any weapons otherwise."

"Hear, hear!" Aragorn said whole heartedly.

"Fine, see if I care. I'm gonna go help Ro." Tira grinned and walked towards the elf. Elrohir groaned quietly (and shot Elladan an annoyed look for the smirk that crossed his brother's face) and pretended to be happy at her approach. She was the only one that scared him still, though her knowledge of herbs had brought her that much closer to being accepted by the twins.

"Where did you learn so much?" He ventured to ask finally.

The girl laughed and shook her head at him. "It's what I do. Or some of what I do, anyway. Tinctures, cleansers, tonics, candles, metalwork…it's my job."

"I thought human women did not work except for waitressing and so on."

Tira shrugged. "You've seen me with a sword. Are you going to try to stop me from working if it is what I choose?"

"When you put it that way, no." He replied emphatically. His questions finished for the time being, he helped her clear everything up.

After everyone had been tended and they had rested long enough to eat a bite, the group once again set off towards Rivendell.

The following day dawned bitter and cold, with an ominous white sky. Today, instead of mingling with their self-appointed charges, the three elves and the ranger were avoiding them and the dying cat noises that were emerging from JLyH's mouth. She claimed it was singing. Legolas claimed it was torture.

"Let everything that, everything that, everything that has breath PRAISE THE LORD! Let everything…" JLyH belted out, swinging her arms and bouncing on her toes.

"Please stop singing!" Legolas begged. He looked like he was in physical pain and the others weren't looking so great either.

"But I'm hyper, hyper, hyper!" JLyH exclaimed, bouncing around.

"Who gave her coffee?" JRH asked, glaring accusingly at Elrohir.

"She asked. No one said anything about no coffee!" Elladan defended his brother.

"It's Tira's fault. She showed us how to make it." Aragorn accused. "I'd never even _heard_ of it…" he muttered this to himself.

"Well, after the long days you four are making for us, we had to have _something_." Tira grumbled. She hadn't realized it made JLyH _that_ hyper.

"That's it. Aragorn, give me the special waterskin." Legolas growled, snatching it and a cup from his friend.

Upon seeing this JLyH exclaimed, "I'll stop! I'll stop! No more singing. See," she said, walking at a normal pace. "This is me not being hyper." She tucked her hands behind her back and tried to look innocent.

JRH eyed her warily, then glanced at the others. "She'll be about as good as her word now. If not, by all _means_…" she trailed off meaningfully.

JLyH gasped in mock-offence. "Way to be on _my_ side, sis."

"When you're hyper, it's safer not to be!"

"I said, this is me _not_ being hyper!"

The quick, jittery steps she took belied her restrained caffeine rush, though, and Cal, unsure what arguments between _that_ set of twins looked like, glanced over to where Tyndel and Butch were playing and, hoping to prevent a spat, suggested helpfully, "If you're hyper, go and play with them. That'll wear you out!"

Kim laughed. "If those two can't do it, no one can!" The others had to agree. Those were the most energetic animals in the bunch.

"At least Tyndel isn't squeaking that toy anymore!" Tea muttered.

Lindelas, carrying Pippin and being sure to keep her from a certain elf prince, let out a sigh. This trip was wearing on all of them. Thank God, they were almost to Rivendell. The days were getting colder.

As if reading her mind, Eltara spoke. "It's freezing!" As if to emphasize her point, she started to shiver. She was generally used to chill, but today she felt particularly cold and she wasn't dressed for this kind of weather (Texas was _hot_, after all). She needed a blanket. Where'd she put hers?

"And it looks like snow," Kel agreed. She and SG were sharing their blankets for extra warmth, but were still shaking. It _was_ cold. Very cold.

It was at that precise time that the first snowflake fell.

Tea and Londessa quickly grabbed their blankets, and the other girls began divvying their shared blankets up and gathering close for warmth. None of them had dressed for winter.

The elves and Aragorn exchanged glances. The girls obviously hadn't planned to be travelling during winter. They had to hurry or their charges weren't going to make it.

As if fate had a bone to pick with them, the snow gradually grew deeper, making the trek that much harder. To their credit, the girls were quiet and uncomplaining, but that may also have been due to them trying not to shake and shiver and chatter their teeth to bits from the cold. Eventually, Aragorn called the group to a halt. He knew by trying to push the already exhausted and drained girls further would only delay them that much more, and they had already been delayed several times by predators looking for an easy snack.

Elladan had quickly built as large a fire as the wind would allow, and now the girls huddled around it, hugging themselves and each other for warmth. All the animals had been put on makeshift leashes to keep them in the circle, for if any ran off there would be no finding them.

Aragorn drew nearer to Legolas. "We should arrive tomorrow, if all goes well."

Legolas nodded in agreement. They actually should have made it to Rivendell tonight, but the storm and the girls slowed them down. They weren't able to move as quickly in the snow as the elves and even the ranger could.

Elrohir, having overheard the quiet conversation, leaned closer to his twin. "We have to make it through the night first."

Elladan's only response was to fire an arrow into the darkness. A yelp was heard, then silence. "That's a big if," he finally muttered.

And still the wind blew.

"JLyH…you've got that song in my head…again…" SG muttered as she dozed off, ready to sleep, even if it was freezing cold and snowing.

"I have a better one if anyone is interested." Tira said. She was used to snow, though perhaps not having to be in it at night like this, and had dug herself a little hollow that kept the wind off her.

Legolas, unseen by her, cringed, hoping she was better than JLyH.

"_May it be an evening star shines down on you…_" Tira started, a little wobbly, but not as horribly out of tune as her friend. "_May it be as darkness falls your heart will be true…"_

It was recognized and picked up by a few of the others who had taken their cue from Tira and dug pits to sit in out of the wind. After the song, a light silence fell as the girls all settled in for a cold, restless night.

Elladan looked over at all of the girls, worry written on his face. He desperately hoped they wouldn't freeze and get sick. Then it would spread amongst them, and then to Estel. And, he reasoned, that would _not_ make Ada a very content healer in the least. What, so many patients, the majority of who were odd beyond all reason… He looked over at his brother, who was still eyeing Tira cautiously as she spoke in her sleep. (He caught something about "cheese it" and "Jo's to go" and… "hammer.") Smirking to himself, he made it a point to tease his twin later, though.

"I can't sleep, El." JLyH complained, still a bit jumpy from her caffeine rush. She didn't specify which twin she was talking to, but since she _was_ looking at _him_… Elladan let out a prolonged sigh.

"Well then…close your eyes…and…_try_ to sleep." He said oh-so-helpfully. (_Apparently he doesn't have much experience with insomniac humans…worn out, toes-are-frozen, insomniac humans_, Kim mused with a sleepy smile.)

JLyH quietly obeyed, but snapped her eyes open three seconds later. "It's not working," she announced staunchly.

Elladan almost hit his head. Were _all_ humans from her land this impatient? "Well then, be quiet until it does. You'll wake the others."

Across the fire, JLyH sighed as she lay her head back down.

"Stop squirming, Tyndel," JRH said sleepily, breaking the silence. Elladan, once again, almost hit himself. All of them were going to be tired in the morning. Very tired.

The next morning began much the same way the night before had ended—with snow, snow, and more snow.

"Did the forecast predict a blizzard?" Kel wondered, forgetting for a moment who she was speaking to. Hey, in her defence, she had slept fitfully, her extremities protesting the cold, and her sister kicking and elbowing her more than once as if in her sleep blaming the other girl for the chill.

"Forecast?" Elladan asked, looking over his shoulder. He was talking with the others, trying to decide the best route home. The way they were planning to use was not the best road to be taking in the icy snow.

"Never mind," Cal answered, stamping her feet briefly to rid herself of an unpleasant tingly feeling. "Kel's obviously not quite awake yet."

"No, I'm awake," Kel grumbled. "I'm just not happy about it. It was too cold last night!"

"Oh, to be an elf!" JLyH longed, rubbing her hands together briskly. She looked over to where the elves and Estel stood, discussing who knows what. The elves looked as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever. At least Strider had the decency to look tired.

"I say we head out as soon as possible. Rivendell has to be warm!" Kim was bouncing on her toes, trying to keep warm. It wasn't working.

"And we get to meet Lord Eye-"

"Tira, what will it take?" Londessa asked in exasperation, clamping a hand over Tira's mouth.

"I'm sorry!" Tira exclaimed when Londessa removed her hand. "That just happens to be how I think of him now, so it pops out."

"Well, keep it _from_ popping out!" Eltara suggested, seemingly the only girl not so fazed by the cold that morning. She was Canadian, after all.

"Yeah, you keep making Legolas curious," SG added, poking her head out of the top of her blanket.

"You know what they say about curiosity," Tea couldn't help saying it. She stood in the middle of a patch of sunlight, soaking in the warmth of the weak rays.

"What? What about curiosity?" Elrohir asked, interested despite himself. These girls were fascinating.

"It killed the cat!" JRH answered, smiling brightly.

"WHAT!" Legolas exclaimed. "How can curiosity kill a cat?"

"It's just an expression," Kel explained.

"Speaking of cats," Lindelas started. "Where's Pippin?"

Everyone looked around, realizing they hadn't seen her. Ari and James were play-fighting, and Tyndel and Butch, having become good friends, were lying on the ground staring at each other.

_Wonder what is going through their minds?_ JRH wondered, watching them. Could dogs and badgers communicate? She had no idea.

Aragorn looked amused over at Legolas, who looked back in puzzlement. _What?_

Elladan reached into Legolas' bag and pulled out the missing cat.

"Pippin!" Lindelas cried, grabbing her lost cat and hugging it. She glared accusingly at Legolas. "How could you!"

"I did not put that animal in there!" Legolas defended, indignant. "Why would I? I am no thief.""Now come on, Legolas. Fess up." JLyH teased, smirking. "We know all about those chickens you and Strider stole!"

"And look on the bright side, Lin," Tira grinned mischievously. "Satisfaction brought the cat back."

The girls burst into laughter, including Lindelas, who was trying to remain angry.

Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other, starting to get an idea of how these girls knew so much. The only other person who knew about that was Mithrandir. He must have told them, for some reason. Could they be wizards in training?

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other in amazement and started laughing. Chickens! They had never heard this story. It sounded as if their brother and the prince had been in more mischief than they ever imagined. But why steal chickens?

Elladan looked at the sky, sobering. Now was not the time, however, for stories and explanations. They needed to get moving. Dropping his gaze, he glanced back at the girls. The movement would put a stop to all that shivering, he thought.

Elrohir calmed Lindelas down by saying, "The cat likes Legolas. Isn't it possible that she climbed in his pack?" After all, it _had_ been cold last night…by human standards, at least.

"It's possible," she agreed, reluctantly. She knew how much the prince had been eyeing her pet. She would let it go, but she was keeping a much closer eye on Pippin!

Finally settling on a route, they started toward Rivendell.

_We'll be there by dusk_, Aragorn realized. He couldn't wait to get home. Ada would know what to do with these girls. He shuddered at the idea they would be wintering with them in Rivendell.

A loud _CRACK!_ interrupted his thoughts.

The portion of the path Kel, Tira, and JLyH were on was breaking apart. The girls screamed and tried to find purchase on the falling ground. The elves and ranger, shouting at everyone else to keep back, rushed forward to help. Legolas was the first to reach them, but it was too late.

With shouts of fear and alarm, Kel, Tira, JLyH, and Legolas fell from the path and into the darkness below!

"NO!" The girls rushed forward, trying in vain to catch a glimpse of them.

Then, the shouting stopped.


	5. That Bloody Hurt

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

That Bloody Hurt

"Nnnnnnnggggggg." Kel made an inarticulate noise as she rolled over. She heard someone else copy her and some movement as the others sat up.

"Is everyone alright?" Legolas asked. He may not have liked these girls much, but their welfare was in his hands, and his responsibility to them was important.

"Ow." A squeak came from one direction. He turned to see the ever annoying one, Tira, holding her arm and looking very pale.

"Anyone else hurt?"

"I don't think…" JLyH started uncertainly as she and Kel checked each other for visible wounds.

"Then if neither of you are hurt, we need to find two fairly wide but short sticks. I need to bind up her arm." He motioned to Tira.

"I'm sitting right here, you know." She grumbled. "I can hear everything you say."

"Tira, does it hurt an awful lot?" Kel asked, concerned.

"My arm is broken, what do you think?"

"Touchy." JLyH snorted.

"That happens when I get hurt." Tira said, then giggled. This earned her three odd looks. "Aragorn said the same thing after I shot him, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Kel giggled too. Legolas let out a tortured sigh, wondering why it was him that had to suffer. Why not Elrohir or Elladan? They liked these girls!

Meanwhile, at the top of the cliff the twins were leaning carefully over trying to catch a glimpse of the four stranded below. Aragorn had been given the task of herding the remaining girls further up the path, out of harm's way, and keeping them occupied. He had not taken this news well.

"Legolas!" Elladan shouted down. A faint sound returned. "Is everyone alright?"

They both strained to hear, and barely made out what the elf below was yelling. It was the scream that followed they heard clearly.

"That bloody hurt!"

"Tira." Elrohir sighed knowingly. He wouldn't forget that voice, ever. "I guess they're okay, except for whatever he just did to her."

"It sounded like he said broken arm, so he probably set the bone and splinted the arm." Elladan replied. "How are we going to get them out of there?"

"I don't know, the cliff face is sheer." Elrohir motioned to the smooth rock below them. "Maybe we should walk a bit ahead and see if there is a textured wall that they could climb if we send ropes down?"

"It's the only idea we have." Elladan shrugged. They set off.

Tira was holding her newly splinted arm close to her chest and glaring at Legolas, muttering under her breath. Every so often he caught a word or two.

"Of all the places to break a bone, and it had to be in the most backwards, primitive, medieval country ever, with an elf that knows almost nothing about medical care."

He ignored her and set to looking along the cliff walls for a possible way up. It was a lost cause. He hoped the twins had a better vantage point.

"Tira, chin up. It's not that bad. I'm sure the twins are trying to find a way to get us out of here." JLyH attempted to smooth the situation out.

"I think it's a lost cause." Kel whispered to her as Tira's glares transferred to her. "At least until she gets some painkillers."

"Like what? This is ME, remember."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sure Lord Elrond has something." Kel shrugged. She had to hope for the best, after all.

"On your feet, girls." Legolas said. "If we walk that way, there may be a less smooth wall. I believe that is what the twins are doing, so we should as well."

"I don't want to walk." Tira grumbled stubbornly.

"Then you can stay here." Legolas retorted.

"Legolas! You don't mean that!" Kel cried out.

"Yeah, we can't leave Tira behind." JLyH stood up for her grumpy friend.

"So what do you propose we do?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You could carry her." Kel said firmly.

"What if I said I didn't want to?"

"Then none of us are going anywhere." The girls sat down beside Tira. Legolas sighed, rolled his eyes, mumbled something in elvish then motioned for them to stand.

"Fine, I will carry the stubborn child." He answered in a voice that indicated he was not happy with them.

"Mítho orch!" Tira shot back, surprising him. She could speak elvish?

"Did you just tell me to kiss an orc?" He asked.

"You called me a child."

"You are a child."

"Not by human years."

"By elven years."

"I'm not an elf, though I dearly wish I was, therefore, I count by human terms."

Kel and JLyH watched the argument unfold. Anything was better than Tira grumping about.

"Do you object to my carrying you? I would prefer you walk."

"I don't want to walk." She said again. "So you must carry me."

"Tira, you're not doing this just for a free elf ride?" Kel asked with a frown.

"No, I just don't feel like walking. If I wanted a free elf ride, I'd want it from Ro."

Legolas sighed. "Let's go then."

The twins had indeed found a good place to send ropes down and did so, anchoring them tightly to a tree not far off the path but well away from the cliff.

"We don't know if Legolas is thinking along the same lines. Maybe one of us should climb down and find them?" Elrohir asked his brother.

"It might be a good idea." Elladan agreed. "But who?"

"It was my idea, I'll do it." Elrohir readied his pack, making sure he had some herbs and bandages in case of injuries they didn't know of were present, and then slowly began to swing down after tying a harness to the anchored rope. Elladan watched until his brother was out of sight.

Elrohir slowly descended down the cliff, a rope tied about his waist that his twin kept taut but did not support him, and another that hung straight down until it hit what he hoped was the bottom. "Legolas? Are you down there?" the elf called out, stopping his decent for a moment to listen for a reply.

"Elrohir? Are you up there?" The elf called back, now coming into view on the ground beneath Elrohir. He placed a person who seemed to be Tira down on the ground.

Reaching the flat part of a sloping ravine, going still further down in a steep slope to his right, Ro looked up and called to his brother, tugging the rope that was still tied to him once.

"Are you at the bottom?" his twin called from above.

"NO, my brother, I am just testing your reflexes, YES I'M AT THE BOTTOM!" Elrohir shouted the last words in order to be heard clearly, not to confuse his brother with sarcasm. They weren't technically at the bottom, but what did it matter? He had found his friends on this little outcropping.

Elrohir quickly untied the rope and knelt next to the wounded girl now at his feet, examining her arm. She looked at him fondly, with that most annoying grin of hers.

"It hurts, Ro, and Legolas went and jerked it earlier!" Tira looked accusingly at Legolas, not happy with how the elf had set the bone at all.

"We heard." Elrohir laughed. (Tira pouted at his laughter.) "In fact, that was the only thing we could hear over this wind, you yelling. Good thing you did or we would have thought the worst had happened!" he laughed again as he stood to his feet. "Nice splint, by the way," he commented to his friend.

Looking up to his brother who was leaning over the cliff edge, he called out. "Elladan! Tira has a broken arm! Get Estel to help you pull her up!" He finished his instructions and turned back to the girl, helping her to stand. He tied the rope around her waist and told her to hang on with her good hand.

"Thank you Ro!" Tira said, leaning over and hugging him with her good arm as he stood up. Elrohir, not expecting this (and rather startled because of), quickly shrugged her off and sent her on her way, yanking the rope twice to tell them to start pulling.

Tira was slowly lifted up the sloping cliff, hugging her broken limb to her chest and balancing with her other as she went slowly out of sight and safely over the edge above.

Then, the rope fell back to the lower ground and they assumed Elladan was ready for the next girl to come up. Kel quickly tied herself in and began to climb her way up, and, with much help from those above, she eventually made her way safely to the top.

"Legolas?" JLyH turned to the elf, who was inspecting his sleeve. Walking over she turned his arm so she could see what he was looking at.

Legolas made a slightly pained expression as the reason was exposed. His sleeve was soaked in blood.

Elrohir walked quickly over to fetch JLyH and was intent on doing so until he saw what was holding them up. "Legolas?" he repeated the question, as the prince pulled up his sleeve to reveal a nasty, jagged cut running between the wrist and elbow of his right arm.

Legolas had not noticed it until now, when he was finally recovering from the adrenaline rush of falling off the cliff.

Elrohir turned and called out to his twin again, informing them that Legolas was coming up next and that his arm was bloodied.

The prince, still insisting that it was nothing, and that the lady should go first, was roped into going up first. He slowly climbed, saving what dignity he had by not allowing himself to be dragged.

Up on the top of the cliff, Elladan helped his friend up off the edge and sent the rope back down, instructing Aragorn to take control until Legolas' arm was seen to, no matter how much the prince resisted.

Down at the base of the cliff, JLyH tied herself into the loop, and her ascent began smoothly with a sure footing and taut rope, but soon she felt a slack in it. Looking up, she could see the rope caught on a crevice in the cliff edge and climbed over to it, dislodging it. She felt Aragorn tug hard on the rope that had been taut on his side a moment ago, but at that moment her footing failed, as did the knot in the rope, pulled too quickly in both directions.

The next moment, JLyH found herself crashing back down to the ravine below. She landed hard on her feet, which crushed under her with a sickening snap. Falling down, she felt Elrohir try and stop her from falling further down the slope, failing as he too lost his footing under the newly applied weight, and as they both hit the very bottom of the canyon, JLyH's world went black.

"Elrohir!" Aragorn's alarmed shout brought Legolas and Elladan running, with the girls right behind them.

"What happened?" Elladan demanded.

"The knot slipped in the rope and they fell," Aragorn explained quickly, preparing to descend.

"What!" JRH cried. "Sis!" She leaned over the ledge, trying to see anything that would tell her if her twin was alright.

Legolas grabbed her as she leaned too far over the edge, hissing as his newly bandaged arm protested the movement. Who would have thought a human female would be so difficult to hold on to.

"Let me go, Legolas!" JRH demanded. "I'm going with you, Estel. She's my sister. I have to go! LET GO!"

"I will once you calm down, child!" Legolas assured. "You must calm yourself or you will be no help to anyone."

"Can you hear anything?" Kim asked the elves. She couldn't hear anything over this blasted wind, but the elves had better hearing.

"No, not yet." Elladan admitted. He was extremely concerned that they hadn't heard anything from either one of them. Exactly how far did they drop, anyway? He felt rather sick with unease as he considered the queasy question of his brother's welfare.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Estel began to explain. "Legolas, you stay up here with the girls while Elladan and I go down and see what their condition is." He held up a hand when JRH opened her mouth. "Yes, you can come, and," he looked at the girls before saying, "you, Eltara, can come as well. We may need the extra hands. But, you must do exactly as you are told. Is that understood?"

Both girls nodded, anxious to help their friends.

The others started demanding to go as well, but Legolas' quiet words stopped them. "You would only be in the way. We don't need anyone else injured." He clenched his injured hand guiltily. If only he hadn't gotten hurt. If only...

Londessa stopped his tumultuous thoughts with a quick hug. "It wasn't your fault. Sometimes, things just happen."

Legolas looked at her in surprise, wondering how she knew his thoughts.

She just shrugged at his questioning glance. "I know you, is all."

Quietly, they all watched as the four slowly began their way down.

The remaining girls gathered together and started praying for the best, while preparing for the worst.

"They have to be okay." Kel cried. She couldn't seem to stop shaking, and this time the cold wasn't at fault. SG nodded her assent shakily, looking suspiciously teary-eyed.

"They will be." Tira promised, wiping her own tears away. "They will be."

_I never thought coming to Middle Earth would be like this_, Cal thought, wiping her tears away. She wouldn't cry, not while there was still hope. She had learned that much from MC.

Elrohir sat up slowly, blinking against the pain and putting a hand to his alarmingly unsteady head. Everything hurt. _What happened?_ A low moan brought the events rushing back with painful clarity.

JLyH tried to sit up. Screaming, she grabbed her right leg. "Ouch! Oh, man that hurts. Where's the morphine when you need it!" Tears were flowing and she couldn't seem to make them stop. This really hurt. She had only had a broken wrist once before and that was nothing like this. She looked at Elrohir, trying to compose herself, and noticed the bloody gash on his head. "Are you okay?"

Elrohir nodded, blinking back the spots in his vision. "Are you?" He tried to stand, but had to sit down quickly to keep from passing out. His body obviously didn't think movement was a good idea at this time.

JLyH grimaced, seeing his trouble. "I'm fine, but I think I broke my leg." She took a deep breath, calming herself. She had to think past the pain vying for her sole attention. Help would be coming, so she had to just be patient and wait for it. She quickly gave herself a once over. Her wrists were sore and she was pretty sure she had sprained her right ankle, but aside from her broken left leg, she had made out pretty good. Elrohir had her concerned, though.

Glancing at Elrohir's dazed expression, she started a mental checklist to take her mind off her own pain. She was a nurse, after all. _Concussion, possible bleeding on the brain, spinal injuries. He needs to be placed on a backboard with a c-collar. He needs a CT and…_

Shaking her head, she reminded herself that they were in Middle Earth and didn't have those modern conveniences. It was all irrelevant anyway. She couldn't move to help him. They would just have to wait for help. She laid her head down. The pain was making her dizzy.

Glancing at Elrohir, JLyH noted the trouble he was having keeping his eyes open. Okay, a distraction. She could do that. She grinned. _I know just the thing._

"So, Elrohir…" She waited until the elf was looking at her. "What do you think about Tira? She's nice, isn't she?" She smiled devilishly. "And pretty."

The first thing Aragorn heard upon reaching the bottom was Elrohir's hesitant voice saying, "She's growing on me, I do believe."

Elladan, right behind Estel, laughed, grateful to find his brother alive and talking. Quickly, he sat next to him, assessing the damage.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Are you guys okay?"

JRH and Eltara rushed toward JLyH, noting the blood and deformity of her leg.

JLyH gave a weak smile in greeting as Aragorn sat next to her. "Hi, guys. I'm okay, but I think Elrohir has a concussion."

JRH gave her a playful slap on her shoulder. "Stop being the nurse, sis. Is anything hurt besides your leg?" JLyH shook her head, tears filling her eyes. JRH grabbed her in a tight embrace. "You'll be okay, sis."

"Yeah," Eltara agreed. "You'll get to know Lord Elrond a lot better this way!" She attempted levity, but she also had to wipe her own tears away.

Aragorn found two sticks that would work as a splint, but paused before placing them. This was not going to be fun for the young girl.

JLyH saw what Aragorn intended and nodded. She knew it was going to hurt, so might as well get it over with. She was ready.

With JRH and Eltara on either side of her, holding her hands, Aragorn prepared to set her leg. Biting her lip, she couldn't keep from screaming and her cries made Aragorn work even faster. Finally, it was done. JLyH laid panting and sweating with tears running down her face. "Let's not do that again, okay?"

Both JRH and Eltara nodded, tears covering their faces as well. They shook their bruised hands, but strained smiles as their brave companion.

"El, I'm fine. Really! It's just a scratch." Elrohir pushed his brother's hand away, annoyed at himself. The girl was the one really hurt; all he had was a bump on the head. Yet, he couldn't even sit up without almost falling over. _How in Arda did this happen?_

"Sure you are, El. You're normally this pale." Elladan shook his head. His brother chose the worse times to be stubborn. Glancing over at his littlest brother, he saw that Aragorn was already instructing JRH and Eltara in their endeavours at making a lift. They were showing signs of success, so he turned back to his twin.

"You're not going to take us back up the same way, are you?" Elrohir asked quietly. "It didn't work too well the last time, tór." Tiredly, he rubbed his head. Oh how it really hurt.

Elladan answered just as quietly, in elvish. "Yes, brother. We're taking you back up that way. It's the only way." Elrohir nodded carefully and Elladan frowned. He was fairly certain his brother didn't have any injuries that rest wouldn't heal, but he would feel much better once they reached Rivendell and their father.

JLyH cried out in pain and grabbed for JRH's hand when they placed her on the lift, tears streaking her face. She really wasn't good with pain.

"It'll be okay, sis." JRH said, blinking back her tears and holding her sister's hand tighter.

JLyH looked after, Aragorn now sat down by Elrohir, checking for himself that his brother was okay.

"I'm fine, Estel." Elrohir said weakly. He then stared balefully at both his brothers when they exchanged doubtful looks.

"It's time to go, brother." Aragorn said, ignoring the threatening look as he got up to bring the other lift closer.

"I don't need that. I'm fine." Elrohir insisted.

Elladan snorted. "If you're so fine, then sit up."

Elrohir glared at his twin, before attempting to sit up. Somehow, he ended up on his back with his brothers leaning over him. He was placed on the lift and secured before he even realized he was being moved.

Aragorn silenced his protest with a look. "You can't even sit up, El. We need to get to Ada and we need to get there quickly."

Elrohir nodded, trying to ignore the way his head was swimming. He would only slow them down if he tried to walk and JLyH needed to get to his father.

Slowly, they began the ascent back up the cliff.

"At least it's not snowing anymore." JLyH muttered.

"From your tongue to the Valar's ears!" Elrohir muttered in elvish, which made his brothers chuckle.

On the top of the cliff, Legolas was finding it very difficult to corral the undamaged human females. They were trying, but it was taking forever!

"How long do you think it will take? Do you think it's bad? Isn't there any way to check on them?" SG's worry was causing her to talk a mile-a-minute and it was giving Legolas quite the headache.

"They will be here as soon as they can." He assured her.

"But…"She was interrupted by Tea and Lindelas' exclamation of "Done!"

Legolas sighed. The girls had insisted on heating bandages while waiting for them to return. "It's what they always do in the movies," Tea had insisted. Legolas' questions of what "movies" were went unheard.

He quietly thanked the heavens for the others remaining quiet.

It was Londessa, nearest to the edge who cried out, "I see them!"

All the girls rushed to the edge, trying to catch a glimpse of them. Legolas didn't try to stop them; he wanted to see as well.

It seemed like hours, but finally all four were at the top.

The bandages were put to use cleaning Elrohir's head and the multiple abrasions both had.

JLyH was saying something about how good they were at improvising a backboard. Legolas shook his head. He would never understand the females.

It was chaos. The girls were trying to help the injured and JRH refused to leave her sister's side. Tira had attached herself to Elrohir's side and had surprised everyone when she kissed him, Elrohir most of all. He blinked and blushed. Slowly, though, a smile appeared on his lips. Elladan couldn't seem to stop grinning. He could foresee years of teasing out of that.

Once JLyH and Elrohir were as comfortable as could be on the lifts, they headed out for Rivendell. Tira and Legolas' injured arms, JLyH's broken leg, and Elrohir's head injury- not to mention the other nine human females with them- would make quite the entrance when they reached Rivendell.

Aragorn was finding he was even more anxious to get home than before, but with injured it meant they'd have to move more slowly and cautiously and they wouldn't arrive until morning now. He just wanted to get home before anything else went wrong.


	6. Lord Eyebrows Meets His Match

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Lord Eyebrows Meets His Match

He stood in the courtyard, as he had done now for the last three days every chance he was able. His sons were late. They were late, and that spelled trouble. Especially since it was not just Estel with them, but Legolas, and when those two got together, trouble was spelled with a capital T. He was certain at least one of them, if not all four, were hurt, but had refrained from sending riders out after them. He would give them the benefit of the doubt this one time.

Footsteps alerted him to company, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Celboril step out into the early morning light, carrying a steaming cup of tea.

"You skipped breaking your fast, My Lord, _again_. Please, at least have some tea." Elrond sighed and took the cup.

"I'm sure they will be home soon, Elrond." Celboril said, speaking familiarly with his Lord and friend. "It's bound to be better than the time that they dragged themselves home with no game, but enough plant life attached to them to fill all of Mirkwood."

Elrond let out a rather un-lordly snort at the comment, images resurfacing in his mind. Celboril certainly did know how to cheer him up a bit.

Sipping at his tea, Elrond was about to comment on this, when his eyes caught sight of one of his children. As he was about to smile and lift his foot in preparation to begin walking to meet them, more figures crept up behind him. His brow furrowing into a puzzled frown, Elrond was trying to determine if he was delusional.

Coming down the road were his children and Legolas. Along with ten girls. Very strange, odd looking girls. No, make that eleven. Oh dear, she was on a lift. Of all of the things to drag home… Celboril, meanwhile, looked just as confused.

"Estel, I know you like tending to the helpless, but this?" Elrond muttered to himself, eyes closed. He adored his youngest child's care for others, but bringing home eleven girls wasn't exactly acceptable on his behalf.

Celboril struggled to hide his smile, but as the last figure came into clear view, all amusement left his face. He shifted his weight to the other foot anxiously.

"My lord, you may want to go down there. It looks like Elrohir is in his own heap of trouble."

Elrond's eyes immediately snapped open, surveyed the being in question, and then, without a word, his legs swiftly carried him forward.

Elrohir, meanwhile, was drifting in and out of consciousness, his very boyish grin still plastered between his cheeks. SG, who was helping Elladan carry his brother's lift, looked down and rolled her eyes. No matter how much he denied it, she was now firmly convinced that Elrohir liked Tira. Which was bound to spell trouble in the near future, she reasoned, as Tira was probably going to mother him until he had the sense and strength in him to lock her into a hall closet. After pointing this out to Elladan, the elf looked over his shoulder at his twin and rolled his eyes in a similar fashion.

Tira, walking alongside Kel and JRH, who were carrying JLyH, was giggling despite their situation.

"We finally get to meet Lord Eyebr-" Tira began to say, but, as if on cue, Calenlass quickly came over and securely wrapped her hand around Tira's mouth.

"Stow it, Tira, for goodness' sake! You're gonna get us thrown out of here if you say that name!"

Kel and JRH let out the breath they had been holding as Tira had begun to say Elrond's nickname.

"Sorry, but it's just-"

"Shhh!" Estel cut them off as he spotted Lord Elrond heading their way, looking none too happy with the scene before him. "Ada-" he began.

"Estel, what in the name of Elbereth is the meaning of this?" Elrond fixed his youngest with a hard, elven stare.

Aragorn sighed and squared his shoulders, stepping up to face his father. "Well, we were headed back along the usual path, see, right on time. No injuries or anything! And we came upon this little-"

"Little!" One of the girls interrupted. Aragorn glared at her.

"Yes, little battle where some orcs had ambushed this group of unescorted women."

"That does not explain why they are at my doorstep with one on a lift, while one of my children is on the other." Elrond was giving 'The Stare' that had prompted Tira to give him his nickname in the first place.

"Look!" Tira hissed to Eltara. "He's doing it!" Eltara and Tira began giggling uncontrollably, which in turn made the other girls groan, knowing they were in trouble now.

Legolas was trying to keep a smirk off his own face, finally having figured out just what it was that they had kept Tira from saying all those times. Aragorn just turned around and glared daggers at the girl, who had fallen against her friend, tears running down both their faces.

"ENOUGH!" Elrond said sternly. Tira hiccupped and attempted to calm down, until she caught the look Elrond was now giving her. That set her off again.

Turning to Aragorn, he asked, "Has she been this way the whole trip?"

"Not exactly like that…" Aragorn started to say just as Legolas said, "Yes!"

"Celboril, take the wounded and get them settled. I will see to them shortly. Elladan, are you injured?"

"No, Ada."

As she was being escorted away, Tira giggled again at the hard look Elrond gave his eldest. The Lord of Rivendell was trying to determine if he was being told the truth. Yet, he had to just mentally shrug it off and let it go. He had to take Elladan's word for it and get down to the business at hand.

"Then you are in charge of settling the rest of them. Estel…I want you to come with me. We're going to have a little talk."

Looking slightly pale, Aragorn followed his obviously irate father into the house, leaving a very put-out Elladan behind to deal with nine females. Once in Elrond's study, Aragorn relaxed slightly in the familiar surroundings.

"Explain, please, Estel." Elrond sighed as he pulled a chair up by the fire, gesturing to the other chair.

Sitting, Estel took a deep breath. "As I said outside, we were coming back by the usual path, right on time, when we came across a bit of a battle. Legolas and I were wary to help, at first, but the twins would not listen to reason and jumped in to help them."

"Is this how the injuries were received?"

"No, those came later."

Elrond made a gesture for his son to continue.

"So after we finished off the orcs, Elrohir had to go and tell the girls they could not be left unescorted, and that if they so wished, since we were headed here anyway, we would escort them this far."

Elrond looked extremely unimpressed with the story thus far, so Estel took a deep breath and ploughed onward. "And as we were going along through the mountains last night, part of the path fell away. Tira, that would be the giggler, and JLyH, the girl on the lift, along with their friend, Kel, and Legolas fell down into the ravine. Tira broke her arm, Legolas has a nasty cut along his arm, and the other two were okay."

Elrond placed a hand to his head, understanding just what humans meant when they said children gave them headaches. "So she's on a lift because…"

"Oh, because when we were bringing them up Elrohir was trying to stop JLyH from falling but he slipped and they both fell back in."

Elrond sat back, rubbing his temples. "Why me? What did I do to receive such…interesting…children?" he asked no one in particular.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"I am going to go tend to those injuries. Then we shall all decide what is to be done with our, er, guests. I would like to know their story."

"Then you'll want to speak with Kel. She seems to be the most level-headed." Aragorn replied as they walked towards the healers hall.

"Alright then. Come Aragorn, I'll need you to help me."

"The, um, giggler, Tira, she has some rudimentary training in herbal usage as well," Aragorn ventured to say.

Elrond sighed and quickened his pace, afraid of the girl being left to her own devices in his infirmary.

*  
>"No. I won't leave." Tira set her jaw stubbornly and glared at Celboril. He was trying to detach her from Elrohir's bedside, but the stubborn child refused to move.<p>

"Whazhapnen?" Elrohir mumbled, trying to focus on the commotion above him.

"This elf is trying to make me leave." Tira said.

"No."

"No?" Celboril asked, his brow furrowing.

"No. Letter stay." Elrohir dropped back into his hazy little world.

"So there." Tira smirked.

"And you are the giggler." Elrond had entered, hearing the exchange.

"Not usually." Tira shrugged. "It's just that sometimes you make this—"

"Avo!" Legolas said from his own bed nearby. Tira looked at him and sighed.

"But Legolas!"

"You really don't want to say such things, now do you?"

"Do you _really_ want me to answer that question?" she replied.

"Can you understand us, child?" Elrond interjected, not wanting to listen to the ensuing argument between elf and girl.

"For the most part." She shrugged again. When he attempted to see to her arm, she pushed him away. "No, see to JLyH and Ro first. It's not the first time I've broken it, and Legolas set it. It will wait."

Slightly (very slightly) impressed that the girl was putting the others first, Elrond made a noncommittal noise and moved over to the other girl with the obviously broken leg. As carefully as he could, he examined the leg and removed the splint, using Estel and Celboril to hold the leg in place as he replaced it with a properly fitted splint and bandaging.

"You'll be right as rain in about eight weeks." Elrond patted the girl on the arm to reassure her. She had held up remarkably well though she was in some very obvious pain, but had avidly watched every move he made. As he had worked, he had explained everything he did, and she had nodded as if understanding everything clearly, a move he realised held truth once she mentioned being a nurse.

Moving on to his son, he examined Elrohir's head and determined he had a concussion and cut, which when cleaned and bandaged proved to be minor. Tira refused to move, even as Aragorn put a proper splint and bandages on her arm. She had made sure Ro drank his tea, which he had without a fight. That had surprised Elrond, as none of his children liked the tea, though they all enjoyed making others drink it. Now the two were giving each other looks that disturbed him, and he was not impressed.

"Legolas, let me see that arm."

"It's just a scratch."

"No, it is not. Legolas." Elrond said warningly.

"Yes, sir." He submitted to the healer's authority.

When they finished, he looked to Aragorn. "Now, I would like to meet the others. I want her to be there, as well." He motioned to Tira.

"Good luck with that." Legolas snorted. "She won't move for anyone."

"What is your name?" Elrond asked her.

"Depends on which name you're asking for." She replied, not completely impertinently.

"The name your family and friends call you."

"Well, those are two different names for all they mean the same thing." Tira answered confusingly.

"Tell me both of them, then." Elrond sighed in exasperation.

"My family calls me Cassandra, which I despise. My friends call me Tira, short for Tirananniel."

"I want you in the Hall of Fire with the others."

"I won't leave Ro."

"And why not?"

"Because he doesn't want me to leave."

Legolas snorted again.

"Now, child." Elrond said sternly.

"I'm not going." Tira turned her back on the Lord.

"Why me?" Aragorn hung his head and echoed his father's earlier words.

Elrond's eyebrows drew into a deeper frown, but he said calmly, "Do you know who I am, child?"

"Of course I do," Tira answered, unsure of where this was going. "You're Lord Ey…Elrond." She made a fast transition of the words. She wisely felt levity was not an appropriate emotion at that time.

"I will not ask again, child. My orders are to be obeyed in my home. Especially when you are receiving my care and hospitality uninvited."

Everything in the room grew so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Legolas and Aragorn held their breath.

"And I did not ask to be dragged here by your sons." She returned calmly, despite the fact that inside she was squirming. She had not completely realised the commanding presence Elrond exuded, and was a little overwhelmed.

"And yet, since you are here, and you have received care, wanted or not, I request that you now join your friends in my hall."

Glancing at Elrohir, she realised the tea had had a quick effect on the elf, and he was absolutely oblivious to her plight. Squaring her shoulders, she gave in. Though she had submitted this time, Elrond saw the little fire in her eyes that said she wasn't done yet and he inwardly groaned. This one was trouble.

*  
>Meanwhile, in the hall of fire, Elladan was settling the others. "Well now what?" Tea asked as Elladan found them some food.<p>

"Now we wait until Ada has seen to the others," he replied.

"Is he mad?" Lindelas ventured a question.

"I'm not sure." Elladan frowned. "He seemed to be, especially at Tira."

"Well, she almost slipped there." Kel answered practically.

"What was she about to say, anyway?" Elladan was immensely curious.

"Tira likes to give nicknames, see…" SG began.

"And, well, she especially likes to give your father nicknames." Eltara continued.

"So she was about to slip up and call him by his personal nickname, and we would have been thrown out then and there." Cal finished.

"But what is this name?" Elladan pressed. They all fidgeted and refused to look at him.

"Lordeyebrows." Londessa said hurriedly. Dan raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Lord…Eyebrows?"

"Yeah, cause of those looks he gives…" Kel smiled.

"I…see." Elladan hid his smile, but it was a poor job of it.

"I wonder how JLyH is doing." JRH sighed. Elladan shot her a sympathetic look, easily understanding where the girl was coming from.

"I'm sure she's fine, I mean, this is Lord Elrond. He's only the best healer. Besides, he's used to treating wounded. Remember when Estel fell off that roof?" Eltara began to say.

"How did you know about that?" Elladan asked sharply.

"Um…psychic, remember?" She covered her slip.

"Yes, I remember." He settled back, but he wasn't satisfied. Not by a long shot.

Legolas and Aragorn followed Lord Elrond and Tira to the Hall of Fire, still hardly believing the girl had not withered under Elrond's gaze. Insanity. There was no other explanation.

The other girls were all snuggled in a pile of pillows near the fire, happily talking amongst themselves and to Elladan when Elrond and the others came in. There was a collective sigh of relief at seeing Tira. And a lot of giggling.

"Oh, good! Tira's still alive!" Londessa teased.

"Enough." Lord Elrond ordered as he seated himself on one of the sofas near the pile of girls. "Now, where are you all from? One answer please." He eyed them with an expression of amusement and wonder, but still as commanding as ever.

"Bree," Kel spoke up. "We're from Bree." They all felt terrible about lying, but how could they tell them they were from another world? Especially when they didn't even know how they came to be there.

Elrond didn't look like he believed it, but he nodded slowly. "And your names?"

"I'm Kelenloth, Kel for short," Kel began. "Then there is Kim and Londessa, Tea and Calenlass, Eltara and JRH, who is the twin sister to JLyH, Lindelas, and the girl holding the pink badger is my triplet sister, SG."

A strange expression came over Elrond's face. The strange pink animal had escaped his attention up till now. Was that one of his pillows in its mouth?

"His name's Butch." SG said proudly.

Elrond stared at the girl.

"Butch." He repeated slowly.

"Yup!" SG replied easily. All of the other girls, Lindelas in particular, looked at Elrond, slightly worried expressions on their faces. Elrond nodded slowly.

"I see. And…why does he have a pillow in his mouth?"

SG shrugged. "Dunno. He found it somewhere, I guess." Came the reply. Elrond closed his eyes.

"And—never mind. I don't want to know. Anyway, all of your friends are fine, but they are to be left alone." He emphasized his words with a hard glare, aimed towards Tira in particular, who barely restrained a giggle at the elf's eyebrows. But, not noticing this, Elrond continued, "You are welcome guests in this house, as long as you manage to stay under control, and do not cause any trouble. If you do, I will have you escorted back to Bree."

At the mention of their "homeland," a guilty look crossed Kel's face. Elrond didn't seem to notice. Or he just hid that he did.

Just then, as he was about to dismiss them, one James Norrington II found that the edge of Elrond's robe was a very nice tug-o'-war object, and growled as he tugged at the dark red fabric. Elrond looked down, arching an ebony eyebrow as he realized what exactly was at his ankles.

"What is this?" he asked, looking down at the baby warg. Gingerly picking it up and plopping it in his lap, he took his robe from its toothed jaws. "And why do you have a baby warg with you?"

Kel blushed, and JRH spoke up.

"Well, you see, they…they're our pets." She explained. Elrond nodded.

"Along with Butch, I'd imagine."

"Yes, sir. And another warg named Ari. And a puppy named Tyndel. Oh, and Pippin the cat." Kel answered.

"I see. Well, keep them under control, please." He sighed as the warg puppy made himself at home the elf lord's lap, curling up into a ball and settling quietly into the fabric of his robe, rather than chewing on it. Picking him up and plopping him into Calenlass' lap, Elrond prepared to leave.

"I need to go and tend to some issues at hand, I will be in my study if there is any need—but please, only _one_ person at a time." He dismissed them and went over to Celboril. "Keep a watchful eye over the giggly one—Tira. Especially over my son's door." He looked over at Tira as she left the room. Celboril nodded seriously and headed away to do as told.

Kel, in the meantime, was still in the Hall of Fire, waiting for Elrond to turn back around. When he did, she asked, "Lord Elrond?"

"Yes…Kel, was it?"

"Yes, sir. May I please speak with you?" Kel looked slightly nervous. Elrond nodded cautiously.

"Of course. Come with me." With that, he lead her through the halls and into his study, James staring at them as they left the room. As Kel found a seat in front of Elrond's desk, which he was seated at, the dam of information that they had been holding back broke, and Kel went hysterical.

"Youseesirwe'renotfromBreeandI'msorryweliedtoyou—andI—Ireallyreallyreallydidn'twanttobutwe—" As Kel started to yap away, Elrond quickly cut her off.

"Slowly! Slowly! Calm down." Once Kel did calm down, and shut her mouth, Elrond added, "Now. What is it you were going to say? In understandable language, please."

Kel nodded. "You see sir… We, me and my friends…we're not really from Bree."

Elrond didn't seem surprised. "I suspected as much. Where _are_ you from then?"

Kel fiddled with the edge of her shirt.

Silence.

"Kel?" Elrond prompted. Letting out her breath, Kel closed her eyes.

"We'refromadifferentworld," she said, quickly and shortly. She had learned to do this with things she didn't want to say.

Elrond's eyebrows shot up. He shouldn't believe her, it was crazy. He shouldn't be accepting what she had just said as fact, but…somehow, he believed the girl.

"Alright…And, what world would that be?"

"Earth."

"Earth." He echoed flatly.

"Yes, sir." Kel repeated.

"I see. And, if you are from a different world, how do you know so much about ours?" he asked, raising an eyebrow once again. Kel continued to fiddle with her shirt.

"Because…because in our world, this world, Middle Earth, is…"

"Yes…" he prompted.

"It's a fictional story."

Elrond didn't quite seem to understand. "Fictional?" he asked. "How could it be fictional if you are talking to me, and I to you?"

Kel shook her head.

"It—it's hard to explain… We all know a lot of stuff about this land…names, family histories, including yours, bloodlines…battles, events…" She paused.

Elrond squinted. He would put her to the test. "What was my brother's name?"

"Elros."

"What are all of the names of Legolas' home?"

"Mirkwood, Greenwood the Great, and Eryn Las-" Kel clapped her hand over her mouth. Elrond looked surprised. "Never mind. Forget that. I never said that…"

Elrond shook his head. This was odd indeed. He continued. "Who is the balrog slayer?"

"Glorfindel."

"Who was the first elf to marry a mortal?"

"Luthien."

"Which of my sons is the elder?"

"Elladan."

Elrond raised his eyebrows. This was interesting. She had answered everything correctly. But, then again, all of that could be learned by simply asking around, or studying. Then, a thought came to mind. He had one question that she would not be able to answer.

"Do you know who the bearers of the three elven rings are?" He asked, his voice flat as his eyes bore through Kel.

The girl panicked. Did she tell him? Did she give him information that he already had? Did she let him know that she knew one of the biggest secrets of ME history? Well, she gulped silently, better truth than falsity.

"Yes." She answered. Elrond stared at her.

"Oh? Then tell me, who are they?"

Kel tensed. Looking around, making sure that they were safely behind thick walls, no one else around, she finally answered. "Lady Galadriel, Mithrandir, and yourself, Lord Elrond," she said extremely quietly, shrinking under his hard gaze.

Elrond looked completely dumbfounded. How? How did she know? How in all of Arda did she know what he carried with him at all times? Suddenly standing up, Elrond said quickly, "Do not repeat those words to anyone but myself. Ever."

Kel nodded, understanding as he dismissed her.

Elrond stormed through the halls, not exactly mad, but not exactly calm about anything right about now. Soon finding Celboril again, he asked, "Celboril, please fetch Moranuen and send him to my study at once."

The elf nodded, brows furrowed. Why was his lord so…jittery? He had never seen Elrond like this before.

"Yes, my lord. Of course." He then left, still pondering.

A short time later, a knock came on the door to Elrond's study, where the Lord of Rivendell was currently brooding over things.

"Come in," he said. The door unlatched as Moranuen walked in.

"You wanted to speak with me, Lord Elrond?" the younger elf asked, speaking cheerfully as he was unaware of the Noldor's current mood.

Elrond looked up from a letter he had been writing. "Yes. We need to contact Mithrandir immediately."


	7. Children Cause Grey Hair and Wrinkles

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Children Cause Gray Hair and Wrinkles

He had that uneasy feeling again. Granted, it was a feeling he harboured almost non-stop, but this time it was making him antsy. A king cannot be antsy, it's not good for appearances.

He motioned to Raniean, one of his sentinels, those guards hand-picked to protect the royal family.

"Sire, may I be of assistance?" Raniean bowed to his liege.

"Yes," Thranduil said shortly. "I want you and Trelan to find Legolas. I have that _feeling_."

"They were with the twins, sire. Are you sure you are not just imagining it?"

Thranduil narrowed his eyes at the question, thinking. "No, I am not." He said finally.

"We shall leave immediately." Raniean bowed again, then left to seek his friend and partner.

After finding and explaining to Trelan the assignment, Raniean continued home to tell his parents he would be leaving for some time on a mission for the king and to pack.

"Ah, he thinks Legolas is in trouble again?" Randomir chuckled. "I won't be surprised if he is. He and that ranger seem to have a knack for finding it."

"They do, don't they." Raniean mused. "Well, hopefully Trelan and I will be able to head it off before it becomes too much."

"Luck be with you in that most impossible endeavour, son."

Raniean shot his father an amused smile as he shouldered his pack and left to meet Trelan. Once together, he relayed Randomir's words and the two laughed lightly.

"He is right, you know. It is impossible. It never rains but it pours, and where Strider is involved, it is a monsoon." Trelan's grin subsided into a frown. "We should have stayed with them longer."

"It would not have helped, you know this." Raniean chided. "Besides, we had our orders."

"True, but still. I hope that crazy human hasn't dragged him into yet another predicament, or worse yet, fallen off yet another cliff leaving Legolas to save him with naught but a cloak and walking stick, or something equally as ridiculous."

"Don't hold your breath." Raniean sighed.

With an unspoken worry between them, the two elves quickened their pace, hoping against all hope they weren't going to be too late for whatever trouble had found their prince and his human friend this time.

-0-

"Ari, quit it." Tira grumped. She was curled up in the bed she had been given, which happened to be in the room furthest from Elrohir's, she knew. Ari was currently jumping around on the bed, sticking his cold nose anywhere on Tira's face he could reach.

"Stop it, you stupid warg!" she screeched, waking up SG and Lindelas, with whom she shared the room.

"What on earth?" Lindelas shot straight up, eyes wide. She had been having a pleasant dream about…about tea and bows and archery lessons. About as close to heaven as she figured she'd get any time soon. She was understandably confused then as she came to.

"Butch, go play with Ari." SG mumbled as she buried her face into her pillow. The young girl valued her sleep and didn't appreciate the rude wake up call.

The pink badger and the small warg nosed the door, which wasn't closed tightly, and escaped into the hall. The girls didn't notice.

They had been in Rivendell for almost a fortnight and Elrond had yet to decide their fate. Kel had confessed to her friends that she had told Elrond the truth, and then they had discussed over how much and to whom the truth should be told. They couldn't keep all of it hidden, but neither did they want all of it known. They were still bickering over it. They had seen the close looks Celboril gave them, and knew Elrond wanted them watched.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." JLyH had said when they told her what had happened. "He simply wants us where he can see us."

As they slowly finished waking up, SG saw that today would be one of Tira's grumpy days. She had had less than a handful of such moods the whole trip, but when they happened, one wanted to stay far away. Tira would pick a fight over the littlest thing.

They dressed and headed down for some breakfast, only to be greeted by a very upset cook and a frowning Elrond. SG and Tira had their respective pets shoved into their arms and propelled out the door.

"Those creatures stay OUT of my kitchen!" The cook screeched as he slammed the door shut behind them.

"Oops." SG said with a small laugh. "I guess we should have made sure the door was shut tight."

"Yeah, whatever." Tira sighed.

"Oh get over it."

"Get over what?"

"Ro."

"I wasn't even thinking of Ro. In fact, I was reading TLR last night, again, and it just made me so sad. I was thinking about poor Legolas, and…Trelan!"

SG gave her a funny look, as the last had been more of a surprised declaration.

"Raniean and Trelan…and I think that's Glorfindel." Tira motioned to the path. SG looked and saw that the three elves were indeed approaching, and they were all grim faced.

"Ooh, I finally get to see them." SG acquired a slightly evil grin.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Tira smiled sweetly innocent.

"Like kiss one of them?"

"Exactly."

They stood in silence until the three elves were almost upon them. Glorfindel, who had not been home to Rivendell since the girls' arrival, was slightly confused at the sight of two girls, a warg and what looked like a pink badger, and what they might be doing outside the kitchen door.

"Is Lord Elrond about?" he asked, looking them over.

"Probably, I mean, it is his house." Tira shrugged. "But we can't go in."

"And why might that be?" Glorfindel raised an eyebrow.

"Because Ari and Butch destroyed the kitchen." SG motioned to the animals.

"I see." He gave the animals a glare. "Well then. I shall go find my Lord Elrond, and if you two lovely ladies would be so kind as to escort Raniean and Trelan of Mirkwood to Legolas, it would be quite helpful. You do know where Legolas is?"

"Of course." They chimed. "We'd love to bring them to him."

"The animals, though, remain outside."

"Definitely." SG nodded.

Glorfindel strode past them to find Elrond, while Raniean and Trelan traded a look, then eyed the girls with mistrust.

"More humans." Raniean looked them both over.

"Got a problem with that?" Tira challenged.

"Not a bit." He looked down at the short girl, who stared straight back up at him without fear.

"Come on, let's bring you to Legolas. That's probably why you're here, I would suspect." SG separated Tira from her staring contest. These moods made her prickly as a cactus and SG didn't want to deal with Legolas' wrath if he found out Tira had gotten on his friend's bad side.

-0-

In Elrond's study, Glorfindel paced. "Humans, Elrond?"

"My children brought them home. They are to remain here until Mithrandir arrives."

"That old wizard is coming? Is it that serious?"

"They know things that should not be known. They know Vilya is here."

"Then it is serious." Glorfindel was one of the few elves who knew of the ring's presence.

"Quite. Were two of them outside when you arrived?"

"Yes, I sent them to escort Raniean and Trelan to Legolas."

"Oh no, you didn't. Was one of them short with red hair?"

"Yes."

"Then I must hurry myself along to that wing. She is specifically forbidden from seeing Elrohir, who is in the room next to Legolas."

"I apologise, my lord, I did not know. Um, why is she forbidden?"

Elrond made a discontented noise. "She and my son seem to have a…a _thing_ going between them. I simply wish to avert any broken hearts when she leaves. And she will be leaving."

Glorfindel ducked his head and hid a smile. Elrond's tone and words indicated several things, most notably that he did not like the girl who had captured Elrohir's attention. Then a sobering thought arose.

"You do not fear another Lano?"

"No, nothing that drastic." Elrond negated forcefully. "Perhaps another choice like that which faces Arwen, and I could not…I do not think I can handle that twice."

Glorfindel nodded in understanding. Elrond had already lost so much of his family, to lose another child could possibly be the breaking point.

The two elves reached the hallway just in time to hear Legolas's reunion with his kinsmen, and Glorfindel once more had to disguise his amusement.

"Legolas!" Trelan announced, the relief in his voice evident.

"What are you doing here?" Legolas' surprise at the sight of the two warriors was apparent.

"Your father had a feeling there was trouble, and he thinks it concerns you." Raniean explained.

"It does. You see them?" Legolas pointed to the girls.

"Yes."

"That's the problem."

"I don't understand." Raniean shook his head in confusion.

"It's a long story…"

"Well, we're not exactly going anywhere anytime soon, I don't think." Tira opened her eyes wide. "Tell us, princeling, tell us!"

Legolas sighed and shot her a dirty look for calling him princeling. "You're part of it, I don't need to tell it."

"But _they're_ not part of it." SG pointed out.

Trelan made a noise that sounded remarkably like a snicker. "She's right, we don't know it, therefore you need to tell it."

"But I do _not_ need to tell it to them." Legolas replied.

"Hmph, really." Tira crossed her arms as best she could.

Elrond chose that moment to come in. "Are you bothering the prince?"

"I am not a bother." Tira skirted the question, just as Legolas said "yes."

"Stargazer, Tira, please escort Lord Glorfindel downstairs, he is leaving on an important mission."

"And what, needs help finding the door?" Tira asked, intentionally being snarky. She knew it was Elrond just trying to get her away from Elrohir, who was next door.

Five people looked between Elrond and Tira, breaths held in anticipation of the explosion. Elrond closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yes, he needs help finding the door."

"Well, good! I know right where it is!" Tira chirped. "Please follow me."

She skipped out the door, not even waiting for Glorfindel and SG and they had to hurry to catch up with her. When they did, her chirpy attitude had disappeared and she scowled at the elf. "Can't find the door, my eye!" she paused long enough to stomp her foot. "Next he'll be telling me elves are incompetent ninnies with oversized egos and overlong hair."

SG sent Glorfindel an apologetic look. "Tira…" she began, but Tira wasn't listening to anyone at the moment.

"Or, or, or! Better yet! That the elves, super smart peoples that they are, or apparently, _aren't_, need my help understanding rocket science and the only one who has enough intelligence otherwise is Ro!" she ranted.

Glorfindel was frowning openly now as they walked down the hall, but Tira was fuming too much to notice, or rather, care.

"Idiot! Over-bearing, pretentious, parental unit person!" she snorted. "I'm not clueless! Like I don't _know_ what he's trying to do? At least get a little more creative than that, but don't insult my intelligence!" She stared balefully at SG, then, and demanded, "Got it?"

"Be more creative, got it." SG nodded, hoping that just agreeing would calm the irate girl down. But…wow. SG had known it would be one of Tira's bad days, but was it a bad time of month for her, too?

Tira snorted and started muttering in various languages, switching between them. SG couldn't tell what she was saying now, so she turned to Glorfindel. "I'm sorry," she said. "She's in a prickly mood today, so you'll just have to excuse her. She's usually more tolerable than this."

"Tolerable? Usually more tolerable?" Tira demanded, rounding on the girl. "Like I'm only _tolerable_ on good days? What, I say, what is so unsavoury about me? What, I ask you!"

"Tira, that's not what I meant," SG held her hands out in a gesture of peace, trying to soothe the toes she had apparently stepped on.

"Whatever," Tira grumped, folding her arms and turning away, marching down the stairs.

SG sighed and followed after; clearly it would be better to leave Tira alone. "She'll get over her mood soon, I'm sure," she assured Glorfindel quietly, fearing he had decided Tira was bad news and not really a friendly sort of person to keep around. "We all have our moments, of course. It's just obviously not a good time right now for her, so she's not making a good impression…" she trailed off, afraid she was rambling. She really couldn't read the expression on the elf's face.

"I shall take your word for it," was all he said as they approached the door.

Tira was tapping her foot impatiently at the open door as they walked up, waiting for the elf to leave. Glorfindel stepped through and paused, turning back. "I thank you for the escort," he said politely.

"Even though it was unneeded?" Tira demanded, snorting.

He smiled the slightest at her. "Even though it was unneeded." He turned to go, but paused again, looking at the fiery redhead. "A word of advice. It's best to just indulge him every now and then. Don't think about it too much, and it's certainly not worth the emotional energy being upset about it." With that, he left.

Tira stared after him, mouth open slightly. Considering. Overbearing elf-lord? Indulge him? Well, she _did_ want to stay under his roof…

-0-

She had thought she had been having a pretty okay day, never mind all the issues from before. Yes, she had arrived late at Kel's house; yes, she had found out the group had gone to the park. And, being fairly familiar with the area, she had decided to go looking for the group without the assistance of Kel's parents.

That had been alright. It was pretty par for the course, considering how her day had been running before she had finally made it to the meet.

Now, though…ai, _now_. Now she was lost. And that shouldn't have been. She'd been around the park and woods at Kel's house before, and she should have run into _someone_ already…but no one had been at the pond, and when she had taken to searching some of Kel's and SG's haunts, she hadn't readily found anyone, and then…then everything changed and she swore she was not where she had been moments before.

The trees were too tall, for starters.

This had concerned her, and she had continued her trip cautiously. She hadn't dared call out for anyone, knowing any number of creeps could have been about, but there was a part of her that felt if something didn't soon disprove her, she would believe she was wandering around some…_other_ place.

It sounded like really bad fanfiction, just suddenly landing in a strange world. Which is why she wasn't sure she believed it, but she wasn't being _disproved_…and it kind of worried her.

Had she finally lost it?

She wrinkled her nose. She sighed. She stood, clueless. She dared continue on. Still nothing.

Maybe she was delusional, but did delusions last so long? She was kind of hungry, but she wasn't thirsty or hungry enough to be delusional, now was she? Besides, she had water, she had…well, actually, she had water. And other things in her pack. But not food.

This did just beat all, didn't it?

_Blast it_, where was civilization? Where was something familiar? Where had her friends gone? Where had _she_ gone?

She must really be crackin' now or something equally bad for her.

Finally, she stomped her foot. "I'm not crazy!"

"I'm not sure who told you you were, child. Are they speaking to you now?" a strong, deep voice suddenly spoke, startling her so much she jumped and her heart started racing.

She whirled around…and her jaw dropped. She stared at him. Oh this couldn't be…this really couldn't be. She had lost it for sure!

She slapped a hand to her forehead, closing her eyes and muttering, "I've finally lost; I've really finally lost it."

"I've heard tale that talking to one's self is a sure sign of madness," Gandalf said. "Never put much stock in it myself." Then he laughed, a deep, quiet, soft-to-himself kind of laugh that was so…_him_.

She looked at him and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Am I delusional? Hallucinating?"

"Since I am not you, I cannot properly ascertain if either is true. I can try to find out for you, if you would like." He offered, coming over.

She continued to stare at him as he put a weathered hand to her forehead. He made a "hmm" noise, then after a moment stepped back. "No, you aren't running a temperature. You might be a little lost, though."

She sighed, almost snorting. "A little? I'd say very. If not crazy."

"Now," Gandalf shrugged, "crazy is a relative term. In fact, crazy is a general term for eccentric, and there's nothing wrong with eccentricity. No matter what certain elf lords and young upstarts try to tell you." Though his tone sounded stern, his eyes twinkled merrily, belying that.

Then, he announced, "Crazy or otherwise, I do believe a hot meal will do wonders for those hallucinations of yours. I am on my way to Rivendell, and Elrond's doors are open to all, if you would like to accompany me."

She stared at him, still rather thrown off. After a moment, she repeated, "Rivendell? Elrond? As in…"

"Rivendell and Elrond." He finished for her instead.

She paused, frowning. "And you're Gandalf."

"Some call me that."

Her lips twitched slightly, then the expression cleared from her face. By now she sincerely felt she was dreaming. A very lucid dream, sure. Perhaps the entire _day_ had been a dream. If that was the case, the best thing to do was just agree and see where the dream took her. And if it turned out to be real, perhaps someone in Rivendell could explain things to her.

She hesitated for a moment, thinking it all over, and said to herself, "Right. And Rivendell means shelter, and Elrond means…the twins."

Gandalf looked long and hard at her at that, tilting his head. "Hm," he murmured to himself, "Odd. Most odd indeed."

She ducked her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean that, I just meant…" she shrugged helplessly. "Putting familiar things together, that's all."

"Quite alright, young one. And do you plan on accompanying an old, harmless man like myself to shelter and the twins, or would you rather wander around more and question your sanity?" He seemed amused, and this added to the affable quality around him.

She didn't have much choice but to trust him, right? It was Gandalf, after all. And if Gandalf was there, that meant she was in Middle Earth, and Middle Earth meant wargs and orcs and other dangers she wasn't ready for.

He nodded as he saw her putting it all together in her mind. He wasn't offended she didn't readily trust him; secretly he was glad she had a little more sense than that.

"Right," he announced. "Now, about your name. I assume you have one. Care to introduce yourself, or shall I try to determine _that_ for you as well?"

"No," she offered a smile and held out her hand. "You can call me Raina."

He took her hand and held it briefly, a frown on his face beneath his wide-brimmed hat and bushy eyebrows. "Raina." He repeated to himself. "Grace. Interesting. Most interesting, _indeed_."

He had the feeling this was shaping up to be a most prudent and providential run-in, really. The future had some intriguing things coming, and he could feel something deeper at work beginning to stir. What exactly did all of this mean? He was most fascinated in finding out if his suspicions were correct and if that _feeling_ in his mind had any water.


	8. Pop! Goes My Heart

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Pop! Goes My Heart

After seeing Glorfindel off, Tira left SG to her own devices and wandered back towards the room she had been given. It wasn't until she was already upstairs that she had the bright idea to go visit JLyH…and JLyH's "nurse."

Ambling down the hallway, she was almost there when Celboril stopped her.

"Where are you going?"

"To visit my friend." She replied. Honesty, after all, was the best policy.

"And perhaps a certain someone?" Celboril eyed her distrustfully.

"Not at all." Tira sniffed. "I was bored, so I figure JLyH is bored."

Unconvinced, Celboril shook his head. "I want you to promise me you, Tira, will not go in there."

Tilting her head to the side and putting on a pout, she sighed. "I promise Tira will not go in there."

"Good. Now, I have some work downstairs. Remember, you promised!"

"I'll remember." She sighed again.

But as soon as he was gone, she went in anyway. Elrohir looked up as the door creaked open. It had been open enough he had clearly heard Celboril and someone talking, and the resulting promise.

"Didn't you promise Celboril you would not come in?" He asked, one eyebrow rising.

"Not at all, I promised Celboril that _Tira_ would not come in."

"I fail to understand the difference." He frowned, then turned to JLyH as she made a choking noise. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, very much so." JLyH grinned. "Thanks for the laugh, Tira, I was getting _so_ bored in here!"

"Will you _please_ explain?" Elrohir let out an exasperated sigh.

"Well, Tira only promised that Tira would not come in." JLyH said, as if that explained it.

"And?" Elrohir prompted, still confused.

"Tira didn't come in, I did." Tira said.

"Yes, and last I knew, you were Tira."

"No, I am Cassandra." Tira made a face as she said the name. "Therefore, Tira did not come in."

"I'm not sure Ada will see it quite the same way." Elrohir smiled, finally understanding. He was impressed by how the girl's mind worked.

"See what the same way?" Elrond asked as he came in, looking up from the papers he held to see Tira standing far too close to his son than he cared to have her. "And here Celboril told me he'd wrangled a promise from you that you would not come in."

His unspoken words coupled with the eyebrow meant he wanted an explanation before he ran the headstrong child off.

"No," Tira rolled her eyes. "Celboril wrangled a promise from me that _Tira_ would not. He said absolutely nothing about Cassandra."

"I am not amused." Elrond replied, realising the girl had played Celboril like a fiddle. "And since Tira and Cassandra are one and the same, using the name your parents gave to you does not count, and you are still banned."

Tira really did pout this time. "You are _such_ a spoilsport."

Sticking her nose in the air, she stomped off, stopping just long enough to shoot Elrohir a glare for not sticking up for her better. Her plans thwarted, she decided to go outside and have a tantrum there, or at any rate just be alone with her mood.

-0-

He had a good idea of where Mithrandir likely was, judging by his last known position and how fast the old man travelled on foot (which was quite fast for an old man on foot). He expected to find the wizard soon, and be back no later than the evening meal, if even that late. What he did not expect was what he actually found.

He heard the wizard's voice and laughed to himself, knowing the old man was wont to talk to himself, then hurried to catch up to him. As he approached, he froze. There was someone with him. A female someone. To his intense dismay, the female someone was dressed in clothes much like those of the girls he had thankfully left behind in Imladris, which meant this female someone was not a native, but was, instead, one of _them._

"Ah, Lord Glorfindel." Gandalf's smile did not reassure the elf lord any.

"Oh!" Raina stopped where she was. "I never thought to meet…wow. Good…morning? I guess…well, good morning, Lord Glorfindel."

Glorfindel sighed. "Welcome, young one."

"She is full of Grace, this one." Gandalf's eyes twinkled. "I invited Lady Raina here to accompany me to Imladris."

Glorfindel sighed again. Elrond would _not_ be pleased. "He is anxiously awaiting your arrival."

"I imagine so. After all, one cannot properly plan a _future_ if one does not know what to do with the present."

Raina gave the wizard a contemplative look, having caught his emphasis on "future." He definitely knew, or suspected, something she did not.

As the three set off, she wondered about many things, from where her friends were to what the meal Gandalf had promised might be. She wasn't particularly sure how much time had gone by when they stepped upon the last bridge, but her feet were grateful that the march was almost done. Her stomach, too, as it looked forward to that meal.

Nonetheless, she couldn't help but pause as the city came into view. "Wow," she breathed. "It's…it's stunning." She smiled at the others, then focused herself again. Warmth, a meal, water…a _couch_. She'd rather those things right now than admiring the view, as breathtaking as it was. She could be sensible, after all.

So she didn't hesitate as they continued on, and she trailed easily after them. Now that a destination was in sight, her spirits lifted considerably and her aching feet and hunger didn't seem quite so cumbersome.

-0-

From where she sat sulking at the base of a tree at the edges of the courtyard, since she couldn't climb it with her arm splinted, Tira played with Ari and James, since they weren't allowed in the house and she didn't want to be in the house.

A few quiet little noises from above caught her attention and she looked up into the branches above, trying to figure out what it was, when a small monkey dropped into her lap.

"A monkey?" she asked aloud. "Where did you come from?"

She picked the monkey up in both hands, wincing a little at the pressure on her arm, and looked him over. He was a cute little black and white capuchin, and obviously tame. Not to mention, she doubted monkeys, if they existed in Middle-Earth, were this far north. So who owned a pet monkey…she gazed about, as if the owner was nearby.

Three travellers coming into the courtyard caught her eye, and she jumped to her feet, shooing the little creature onto her shoulder as she ran forward to make sure she was seeing who she thought.

"Raina!" she shouted.

The girl, startled, turned to her and Tira squealed as she launched herself at Raina, her bad mood forgotten. "Mellon-nin!" she cried, hugging the younger girl as best she could around her splinted arm. "How did you get here?"

The monkey chose that moment to chitter chidingly and leave his impromptu ride when it came to an abrupt halt.

Letting out a small laugh, Raina hugged her back tightly. "First, it's great to see you," she said pointedly and Tira grinned with a hearty, "Indeed! And you too!" Then she pulled back and continued, "As for your question, I don't really know. First my day started out so-so," she fluctuated her hand in the air for visual emphasis, "then I'm trying not to be late and failing miserably, then I'm there and no one else is, then I'm looking for all of you and then I'm _lost_…and then I run into a wizard with a penchant for _eccentricity_," she emphasized the word for its inside-joke with Gandalf (he laughed heartily at this), "and then…well, you get the picture."

"…and then you'sa here?" Tira giggled.

"Exactly." Raina smiled.

Glorfindel looked between the two girls and withheld yet another sigh. It figured the new one was friends with the moody one. Gandalf, on the other hand, seemed rather pleased as he gave the new girl a once-over.

"Is that _the_ Gandalf?" Tira whispered to Raina, eyeing the old man standing near Glorfindel.

"The one and only." His eyes twinkled merrily as he stepped closer. "And you are?"

"Absolutely insane." Glorfindel muttered in Quenya. Elrond had told him the girl understood some Sindarin, but he figured he was safe using his first tongue.

"_Selilyë ni?_" Tira looked affronted. Glorfindel stared at her, horrified. Was nothing safe from her?

Gandalf started laughing, while poor Raina looked confused. She was about to ask, when Glorfindel turned on his heel and marched away, obviously in some sort of snit.

"That can't be good," Raina said to no one in particular as she absently watched over Tira's shoulder as Glorfindel continued across the courtyard. She glanced back at her friend and frowned. "Tira," she asked, noticing her friend's wrapped arm, "What happened?" She touched the injured appendage delicately.

Tira sighed. "It's a long story."

Raina gestured to her to follow as she continued after the retreating elf and now withdrawing wizard as they approached the front door. "Don't want to explain or is that just your preamble?" she questioned softly.

"No, no, I'll explain." The girl sighed. "It's just a long story, and possibly better told with the others."

"Others? The others are here?"

"Oh, yes." Tira smiled, a small snicker escaping as she thought of something. "And Lord Eyebrows is not amused."

"I do say, that is a charming and apt nickname for him." Gandalf cleared his throat, and Tira jumped, realising she still hadn't been properly introduced and that she had just insulted Gandalf's friend. She also had not thought he was in hearing distance.

"Oh." She said quietly. "Um, I'm Tira. Tirananniel. Also known as Cassandra."

Gandalf's eyes widened and he nodded, muttering to himself. "Far-seer, Grace…yes, it's beginning to make sense."

The girls traded confused looks. "Um, well, after you?" She gestured at the doorway.

Raina nodded and stepped through the doorway, stepping foot into the Last Homely House for the first time. She still wasn't entirely convinced this wasn't a dream or delusion or something else equally unreal.

And when she espied Elladan coming down the stairs, that complicated things. She pulled up short so suddenly, Tira ran into her, bumping her injured arm into the other girl's back.

"Ow!" she grumbled.

"Sorry," Raina glanced back briefly at Tira, then her gaze travelled back to Elladan, where the elf had pulled up short as well.

No one noticed, but Gandalf was glancing with interest between the stalled two, a slight -ever so slight- smirk twisting his lips beneath his beard. _How intriguing, indeed! _"Making even more sense, mm," he mumbled to himself, his logic and understanding lost on all but the wizard himself.

Elladan put a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose as he groaned. _Not another one! _he thought exasperatedly, forcing the thought through his startled brain.

Raina saw the move and swallowed. Well, dream or no, the action was kind of offensive and cutting. She could tell she was not very welcome, and truth be told, it hurt quite a lot. In fact, she was almost caught off guard by how much it hurt.

"Hey, if I am not allowed to stare at mine, you can't stare at yours." Tira hissed in Raina's ear, bringing her from her thoughts with the sound of her voice, but her words didn't quite register (for one, Raina still didn't look away from the elf). "Besides, I think you're scaring him."

Elladan's eyes moved over towards Tira briefly before zeroing back in on Raina. He slowly came forward, almost hesitant.

"I don't believe I've met this one yet." He mumbled.

"This one," Tira replied, "is my twin by another mother and several years, Raina."

"More twins? Wait, different mothers?" Elladan was beyond confused.

"Tira," Raina said softly, slowly, as if she were finding how her tongue worked all over again. "No scaring, no confusing."

Tira sighed. "You, also, are a spoilsport." She glanced at the elf, saying, "This is my gwathel, Raina."

Turning back to the elf as well, Raina stuck out her hand and forced herself to say, "It's nice to meet you, Elladan." It was nice to meet him, she just wasn't an overly outgoing kind of person. She was actually rather introverted, and her heart raced uncomfortably.

Elladan looked startled.

"Isn't that something?" Gandalf muttered in the background, watching with intent interest.

Glorfindel seemed nonplussed, if not suddenly a bit wary with the odd reactions going around in the hall right then (Gandalf making such cryptic statements to himself wasn't helping, either).

Slowly, as if hesitant, the older twin took Raina's outstretched hand, but he seemed to freeze up after doing so because he evidently forgot to _do_ something with it.

Suddenly not happy with that otherwise normally innocent handhold, Glorfindel fought the urge to bodily drag Elladan away and tell Raina to get out of their sight and not bother to return. Look at him! Elladan usually had more sense, but Glorfindel was unimpressed with the way the younger elf seemed to have forgotten how to go about doing something as simple as shaking a hand or greeting a lady properly.

_And what, exactly, is so fascinating about the girl? _He wanted to demand, but thought better of it.

Obviously uncomfortable, Raina shyly tried to pull her hand back. It was that pressure that seemed to bring the elf back to reality (and perhaps Tira's snickering had some effect), for he gave the young girl's hand a quick shake and then dropped it hastily, pulling his hand back as if he'd suddenly been burned.

"Pardon," he said and gave her a firm nod. "Pleasure's mine."

"Well, gee, Elladan," Tira started. "If you'd been any more pleased, we'd think you a statue at that rate."

"Tira!" Raina groaned, embarrassed and feeling quite awkward. Had he really just held on to her hand that long? And what was Tira on about? More importantly, what had he been on about? She didn't…didn't like uncertainties or reading into things. It'd be better to pass it off. He seemed out of it, which if she knew her friends, shouldn't be all that surprising.

"What?" Tira looked innocent. Turning to Glorfindel, she tilted her head and spoke to him in Sindarin. "Don't look so worried, Balrog-slayer. If I know Lord Elrond, he won't let this go any further than he's letting Elrohir and I."

Raina sighed. She disliked it when Tira did her language thing, but figured her sister had had a good reason for it. Elladan's reaction to whatever she'd said, though, was frightening. His face was pale and he stepped back from Raina as if she was diseased. He looked at Raina, then glanced towards Gandalf, turned and hurried back up the stairs, his original destination abandoned.

"Now he's just being ridiculous," Gandalf muttered, and Glorfindel sent the wizard a hard glare, which confused the new arrival even more. What did Gandalf mean and why would Glorfindel react that way? The wizard turned to Raina.

"Don't fret, young one, all will be well. Glorfindel, by all means let these young women free and escort me to Elrond."

As soon as the two took off down the hall, Raina rounded on Tira, and now that they had a private moment, demanded, "What did you say?"

"Nothing of consequence." Tira shrugged.

"Nothing of consequence?" Raina repeated, incredulous. She waved up the stairs. "You call that nothing of…" she sighed, trailing off. "That was hardly such, Tira. His _reaction_ was hardly such."

"So the boy's got issues? He'll get over himself. I was joking."

Raina sighed, glancing after the retreated twin. "Really, though, what did you say?"

Tira shrugged again. "Nothing, really. Honest, dear. I was joking, trying to rile Glorfy…okay, and perhaps I was trying to tease Elladan. He'll get over it."

"Tease him?" the younger girl turned back, frowning. "Why would you want to tease him?"

"Because he's so teaseable! Really, Raina, did you know he makes it so incredibly _easy_?"

Raina sighed, shrugging. "Maybe. I dunno. I just met him." She glanced around. "I know you mentioned something about Elrond and Elrohir…where are they? Where is everyone _else_?"

"Raina!" a happy shout came from the top of the stairs, startling the two girls. They looked up to see Kel grinning and running down the stairs.

"Kel!" Raina laughed, meeting her friend halfway and hugging her tightly. "So you're here too."

"I was about to say that!" Kel laughed as well. "Did you just arrive?"

"Just."

Kel nodded, glancing back at Tira, then up the stairs. "And do you, by any chance, know what's got Elladan in a mood?" She still hadn't figured out how to tell the twins apart, but a little logical deduction told her she was making a good guess as to which twin it was.

"Tira _said_ something." Raina answered, turning a pointed look on Tira.

"Oh." Kel shrugged. "That would do it. I swear she's been out to get him the past couple of weeks."

"Well, he's sided with his father!" Tira pouted. "If I want to see Ro, why can't I see _him_? Dan's being a goody-goody."

"Wait…weeks?" Raina frowned. "Goody-goody? Can't see Ro? You know, it'd be terrific if someone would bring me up to speed."

"I did say it was a long story." Tira grinned.

Raina sighed, but Kel backed the redhead up. "It _is_. Well kinda." She smirked at Tira suddenly. "Unless it isn't."

"In which case, it's a short story," Tira didn't miss a beat, "and either way, it's still a story. And stories are meant for friends and popcorn and fires. And I still haven't seen Ro today."

"You have _elf_ on the brain." Kel rolled her eyes. "C'mon, let's go round up everyone else."

"But I haven't seen Ro yet!" She didn't budge, clearly still put-out about this fact.

"Tira, I thought…" Kel started, clearly confused. "I heard something about you trying to sneak in on the sly and see him. JLyH said you tricked Celboril with word-play, made a promise with a loophole and got in. You saw him then."

"For two seconds! Not enough time! I have a Ro-quota to meet, people, and if I don't get enough elf-time I go crazy! Do you want to see a crazy Tira? Do you?"

"Teasing Elladan doesn't count as elf-time?" Raina asked.

Tira glanced at her. "Raina, you need to just forget about that. And no, it doesn't. Elladan is _your_ elf, not mine, and I need _my_ elf time."

"Tira, he is not _my_ elf." Raina seemed genuinely uncomfortable (read: embarrassed) at that.

Elrond, returning from the library and on his way back to his study, came across the girls in time to hear this last exchange and his concern about that redhead spiked. He knew he had good reason to keep her away from his son, and possessive was definitely _not_ a good thing.

The blonde-haired girl, however, he did not recognise and he didn't know what to make of what Tira had said, but the fact that she had denied it seemed heartening, at least. For now. He'd wait to cast judgment.

So he stepped forward and cleared his throat, garnering their attention. "I don't believe I have met your friend," he said pointedly.

Tira, rather than answering that obvious statement, simply sent the elf-lord a disgruntled look, clearly put-out about something. Elrond, to his credit, was not fazed and he seemed to ignore the look rather well.

"This is Raina!" Kel introduced instead, knowing better than to mess with Tira's moods. She almost wished the Giggler would come back. Almost.

Elrond inclined his head, but didn't let show that he was intrigued by the fact that here was _another_ elven name (Calenlass had one too, with a meaning that was familiar, and also Lindelas) and that this one also had something to do with his sons, if the overheard conversation had anything to do with it.

"Lord Elrond," she inclined her head back politely. "Your sons look just like you."

"Thank you," he answered stiffly, for he was suddenly very unhappy. Her words meant _one_ of them had been here; if it was Elrohir, that meant his youngest twin had had face-time with the redheaded troublemaker, a fact that did not sit well with him; and if it was Elladan, why wasn't his eldest still around? The answer to this question struck him as one he was sure he would not be happy with, either.

-0-

Elladan ran, trying to get away from the weird spark, Tira's words, Glorfindel's anger and Gandalf's crazy mutters. He most certainly did not want to talk about his feelings…sometimes his brothers could be such women, always wanting to talk feelings…he did not want to face this new problem. He could barely even assimilate it!

Since he was avoiding Elrohir, he also avoided the usual places; mother's balcony, his room, and the room with that girl with the broken leg were out. Where could he go that Elrohir would not think of immediately?

The roof. Perfect.

After a bit of climbing and scurrying, he finally found a hidden little nook up on the roof and tried to relax, but his mind refused to let go of the strangeness that had happened. What had happened?

He had seen her, and it was like someone had just socked him in the chest. At first it was irritation, oh great, another girl…but then he had looked at her properly and it was as if…as if…he didn't know. He couldn't put that realisation to words…and when he had taken her hand, it was as if he'd been struck by lightning.

The frisson that had shocked his body, his heart, his brain had stopped all proper thinking, he had frozen. And then Tira had to go and say that…he shook his head with a sigh. This was crazy. There was nothing…there could be nothing…

The sounds of someone climbing came to him, but he didn't quite focus on it until Elrohir came carefully across the tiles towards him.

He withheld a sigh. So much for avoiding his twin. This ploy had worked for what, five minutes?

"What is wrong with you? I felt…I don't know what I felt. It was big." Elrohir perched next to his twin.

_That makes two of us. __I__ don't know what I felt! _Elladan thought exasperatedly.

"It was nothing…nothing. There is nothing at all there." He finally muttered out a confusing answer. "There _could_ never be anything…"

Elrohir tilted his head and studied his twin curiously. There could be nothing? That was acknowledging that he even expected there _should_ be something! This would take a bit of finagling to get a proper answer out of his twin.

"Alright, so there is nothing…where? Last I knew, you were headed to find Ada about that girl's leg for me."

Elladan looked up at Elrohir, apology written on his face. He had clean forgotten that Elrohir wanted Ada to check the girl's leg, as her toes were red and hot, indicating a possible infection.

"I…forgot." He whispered. "But…I was going to find him, and then…there she was."

Elrohir hid his satisfaction, as getting a partial answer had been much easier than he'd thought. There was a female involved…one of the girls they had brought home, perhaps? But why now? They had been here a fortnight already, and Elladan had not expressed interest outside of curiosity and friendship…and the same went for any of the ellith that lived in the valley; if it was an elleth, Elladan would have known long before now. Which meant something had changed about one of the girls.

"Her name…is Raina." Elladan choked on the name, as if it burned his mouth to say it.

Raina…that was one he had not heard yet. "There's a _new_ _one_?" He asked, incredulous. How? When?

What he did know, though, was that this was much bigger than he expected.

Nudging Elladan with his shoulder, Elrohir put on a false smile. "Come, let us go find Father and let him know about that leg, then you and I will take a ride and we can talk."

"Oh goody, more girl time to talk about our feelings!" Elladan quipped, though his usual humour sounded forced. Elrohir rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to respond to the jab.

As they descended from the roof, it was Elladan who spoke again, asking a very unexpected question.

"What exactly is it you like about Tira?"

Elrohir leaned against the wall near the door to the room he'd entered, waiting for Elladan to finish climbing in. Thinking, he shrugged.

"She's…illogical. Amazing. Beautiful. I don't rightly know, she just is. She is my girl, the one…I'm not sure it is explainable. There was…a spark. But that's all it can be, I guess, a spark. Ada would never let it be anything more."

Elladan studied his twin's face. He had been hoping for an answer, something to help him figure out what had truly happened with Raina. Had something happened? What was this strange feeling that turned his heart over on itself, tied his stomach up in knots? Was it anything? Is that what it had been, a spark?

"So you consider her to be yours even though you know nothing can come of it?"

"Yes. She is mine, at least, in my heart. Not sure if she knows this, though. I don't dare let on."

Elladan nodded. Where Elrohir's situation had not totally helped, it certainly had shed a bit of light on things.

For now, teasing was safer territory. "I would hope so, tór. Unless you have made a habit out of young women kissing you."

What neither elf knew, though, was that Elrond had heard enough of their conversation, and if he had been displeased before, he was quite irked now.


	9. Out of Confusion and Into Uncertainty

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Out of Confusion and Into Uncertainty

"Are there any more planning on gracing us with their presence?" Lord Elrond asked, glancing at the group.

The girls shrugged as one.

"How are we supposed to know?" Kel asked, sounding perturbed. Elrond was acting like they were one of the great plagues. (The bizarre bucket incident and the outrageous pocketful of posy rumours were honest mistakes!) "It's not like we know how we got here."

Elrond looked at the girl, one of the level-headed ones, his youngest had said. He buried his personal feelings deep down and adopted the role of cordial host. "That is what Gandalf and I shall try to determine, child, when he arrives."

Kel nodded, having no choice but to accept this placation.

"Well do you think you could hurry up?" Tira demanded, because irritating the elf-lord was her personal mission since he had attached himself so firmly to her bad side. "I know elves are immortal, but time is of the essence for us, and I for one do not want to be old and frail still waiting on you two to get an act together and figure this conundrum out."

Elrond looked at the girl with a tight smile, and it was obvious that he was gritting his teeth. "Only Eru knows what may come, child, and if you are going to be old and frail when this is done, hurrying me will not change that."

"But it might make me feel better about it!" the redhead insisted.

"That may as well be, but that does not affect me," Elrond answered back as pragmatically as he could.

Kel shifted uncomfortably. She didn't want to believe that Tira was trying to get them kicked out, but honestly…

Raina glanced between Tira and Elrond, caught a glimpse of Kel's distress, and quietly intervened, despite that she'd have preferred to stay quiet. "Gandalf is here," she pointed out, knowing Elrond was unaware of this fact (Kel, too) and Tira was being less than generous about anything. "Glorfindel was taking him to you."

Elrond studied the quiet girl for the first time. There was something about her, an aura, perhaps, that indicated she had a role in things to come. But what things, and when? He disliked not having a clearer picture of these _things_, but figured it would become clearer when the time was right. It would gnaw at him, though.

"Thank you for telling me." Elrond shot what was very clearly a glare towards Tira. "Please, find all of your friends and gather in the Hall of Fire. As soon as I find and finish my meeting with Mithrandir, he will want to meet all of you."

With that he turned and left, trying his best to keep his fury contained. The girl was a menace! She was not cowed by either his stern looks or the fact that he was a Lord, that she was here by his grace. No, instead she seemed to have made it her goal to ruin his peace.

Worse yet, she seemed to have set her sights on Elrohir, and this did not in any way, shape, or form sit well with him. It was this thought that prompted him to mount the stairs in search of his sons, once again wondering about the meet in the hall Raina had alluded to.

As he swept down the hall in search of his sons, he paused upon hearing their voices, freezing when Elrohir openly said words that chilled Elrond to the bone: "Yes. She is mine, at least, in my heart. Not sure if she knows this, though. I don't dare let on."

After waiting for a minute, his frown getting deeper with Elladan's reply, he went towards the room, just as the twins left it.

"Oh, Ada, good!" Elrohir smiled. "I was coming to find you. Do you think you could look in on JLyH? She seems to be running a bit of a fever and I fear she may have an infection in the leg."

Elrond collected himself remarkably quick, pretending he had never heard the damning words that had been said. "Certainly. Elrohir, you will attend me. Elladan, I have been informed Glorfindel and Mithrandir have arrived, please seek them out and send them to my study. I shall be along shortly."

Both nodded in assent, but just before they parted ways, Elrond paused. "And Elladan? Also have Legolas and his companions and Aragorn join the girls in the Hall of Fire. Keep them occupied until we arrive."

Elrond had turned to continue down the hall, and didn't see the brief flash of terror that swept through his eldest's eyes. The elf-lord was, shall we say, preoccupied with other concerns at the present moment.

But, sweeping grandly into the girl's room, Elrohir close behind, Elrond did smile gently at the girl who looked bored and unhappy.

"I am sorry, child, but my son informs me you may have a problem. I will need to unwrap your leg, and this may cause some pain. I can give you a tincture to lessen this."

JLyH nodded her assent, then looked to Elrohir who had disappeared rather quickly with a strange look on his face. He did not seem nearly as rushed this time, though, and she wondered what it had been that had gotten him so fired up before. Before she could make any mention, Elrond handed her a cup and indicated she should drink it all.

"We will give that a few minutes to begin working. Elrohir, please fetch some new bandaging, as we will need it when we are done."

"Really, I think it's just a touch of fever." JLyH tried.

"But we cannot take any chances. The leg was exposed to far too much dirt during your journey, and was jostled as well. Any number of things could be causing problems." Elrond replied in a no-nonsense tone.

As soon as Elrohir came back with the bandaging, they set to work slowly and carefully unwrapping her leg. Elrond peered at the wound where a little of the bone had broken the skin, but it seemed to be healing well and had no leakage, only a little bit of redness.

"I think we will re-splint and bandage, but leave the site open to air out. I will check again tonight. Meanwhile, I shall see if we can find something to keep you occupied. Can you read?"

JLyH nodded, knowing that he asked only because not all women, or even men, for that matter, could read or write in this world.

"What do you like? History? Biography? Perhaps fiction?" Elrohir asked. "I know there are one or two stories like that somewhere in the library."

"Oh, anything is good at this point." JLyH sighed. "I am just looking forward to the day when I can go outside."

"Perhaps in a week or so, provided that does not get worse." Elrond smiled reassuringly. "Until then, we shall do our best to keep you occupied."

The two elves carefully reapplied the splint, then took their leave. Elrohir headed for the library to find a book for the helpless girl while Elrond hurried towards his study. Arriving, he found Mithrandir over by the window, puffing on his pipe and a clearly out-of-sorts Glorfindel sitting by the fireplace twirling a glass of wine.

He raised a brow. His seneschal was clearly in a snit and he wasn't sure he relished that aura at the moment. He had enough on his mind without an uptight Balrog-slayer to contend with. "Glorfindel, is something wrong?"

"That _redhead_," Glorfindel bit out as if the word tasted bad.

Gandalf muttered something to himself, obviously amused because a low rumble of a laughter shook his shoulders. Elrond didn't catch what he said at first, but he did catch, "Far-seer…Grace…hm…" beneath the proceeding chuckles.

Sending an irritated look in the old wizard's direction, Elrond turned back to Glorfindel. "What has she done _now_?"

"She spoke _Quenya_! She…she…_where_ did she learn that?"

Elrond's brow once more rose. The little menace kept pulling surprise after surprise from her sleeve, the minx. Glorfindel had a good question, though. Where had she learned the ancient language?

"What did she say?"

Glorfindel muttered into his glass. "I insulted her and she replied, _you mean me?_. She ruined it."

If he had thought he'd have any allies with that, the Balrog-slayer was promptly proven wrong when both Gandalf _and_ Elrond began laughing.

"Trust you to be upset because she ruined your insult," Elrond chuckled, glad to have something to laugh about, even if it did somehow involve that bothersome girl. But he quickly sobered, because _that girl_ came along with several other problems, such as Elrohir's statement to Elladan and also the fact that her and her friends came from another world.

Why had Iluvatar decided his life needed to be so interesting?

"Oh, because everyone's life could use with a little bit of intrigue." Gandalf said, and Elrond turned a startled look at him, unsure if he had asked aloud or if his friend had simply read his mind. "After all, I hear it does wonders for keeping one on their toes, and we could all do with a little sprightliness, wouldn't you say?"

"Not if it disrupts my home and damages me and mine, wizard," Elrond shot back, not so amused anymore.

"Damages? Goodness gracious me…" Gandalf muttered, chewing on the stem of his pipe. "Damages…damages, indeed…quite irregular…" At this point, he wasn't making much sense to other ears. Then again, did he ever? "Can't stand in the way of progress…" he coughed several times, then continued muttering, "Even if he was being ridiculous…"

Elrond frowned, wondering why he sometimes thought it wise to try to understand the wizard. Perhaps it was best to try to move the conversation along.

"All that aside," he began, pointedly, ignoring the wizard's cryptic, secretive muttering, "I requested your presence because of those girls. They shouldn't be here."

"Oh?" Gandalf's eyebrows rose. "And why do you say this?"

"If you are insinuating that this has to do with Tira, you are wrong. Furthermore, if you are insinuating that they _belong_ here, you are also wrong. And they shouldn't stay, either."

"No, no, I don't suppose they can," Mithrandir murmured thoughtfully to himself, glancing out the window.

Elrond swore the wizard almost sounded _disappointed_. What in all of Arda…?

"They are here for a reason." Mithrandir began. "A very good reason."

"Do you by chance know what this good reason is?" Elrond prompted.

"I might. Then again, I might not. It depends."

Elrond resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What does it depend on?"

"What they are here for, of course."

Glorfindel snorted. Listening to the wizard was like listening to the annoying redhead.

Elrond sighed. "Mithrandir, either you know or you don't. Which is it?"

"Since I've only met two of them, I'd have to say I don't know why they are all here."

Resisting the urge to rub his temples and the many urges he had to shake the wizard, Elrond tried to decipher that convoluted statement and sent the old man a searching look. "You…know why _two_ of them are here? Which two did you meet?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Glorfindel asked, disgruntled. "He keeps mentioning _Far-seer_ and _Grace_, and that it's all beginning to make sense."

Elrond glanced back at the wizard, but Gandalf simply watched them both with an intensely amused look before he turned to look out the window again, a smile tugging at his wizened face. "Now, I never said I knew any whys or wherefores, although if it doesn't become obvious, I don't suppose I'll be any good," he spoke softly, to himself, but both elves could hear him.

Knowing the wizard would not be forthcoming, if he indeed even knew anything (he certainly acted like he did, but Gandalf always acted that way—as if he _knew_ things others did not), Elrond decided to ignore the funny twist of words Mithrandir had a penchant for using.

"Well, we can fix the problem of not having met them all," he announced shortly, ready to be about some actual business and in no mood to toy with wizard word-games.

-0-

He sifted through book after book, searching for one that he thought would hold the girl's interest. Rounding one shelf, he stopped short, surprised to see his little brother sitting at the little desk in one of the many nooks.

"Estel, hello." He smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Avoiding those girls, why?" Aragorn looked up from whatever he was writing on the parchment before him.

Elrohir's smile grew wider. "Well, hate to break you away from your love letter to my sister…"

"I wasn't…it's not…" Aragorn sputtered.

"Sure, sure, I know you. But I'm not here about that. Father wants you in the Hall of Fire. With the girls."

"Well why can't you do it?"

"Because I'm on another errand. Have you seen that book of tales? The ones about Finrod and all?"

"Over there somewhere." Estel sighed and waved a hand to his left.

"Thanks. And I wouldn't dally, if I was you. Father doesn't seem to be in a very charitable mood today."

Estel muttered several things under his breath as he gathered his things and stomped out. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Elrohir went to the previously indicated shelf and searched, finding the book he had been looking for, a compendium of stories about the First Age and Beleriand, adventures of Finrod Felegund…he thought it was engaging enough to keep JLyH's attention.

He left the library and slowly walked back to the girl's room. He knew very well why his father had not sent him on any errands where the other girls were concerned, why he was restricted mostly to caring for the invalid JLyH. Elrond was attempting to keep him and Tira apart. Right from the start he had been against the two of them even looking at each other, and though he thought he understood why, it was still a little irksome. Nothing, though, could stop him from asking JLyH questions about Tira, and that new one, this Raina girl whom Elladan had spoken of. He was not breaking any rules by asking questions, and what they didn't know would not hurt them.

"I brought you a book." He announced as he entered.

"Finally." The girl smiled to show she was joking. He handed the book to her, but then pulled up a chair, to her surprise.

"Um…how much do you know about Tira?" He asked bluntly.

JLyH grinned. "Nothing like getting to the point, hmm? Well…" She thought for a moment. "What exactly do you want to know? Names, dates, social security number?"

"What is a social security number?" Elrohir asked, curious.

"Nothing, forget I said that." JLyH waved a hand. "Um, let's see. Her birthday is in the winter…she has at least one sibling, a brother. Not sure if she has more. She's a natural redhead. Er…what else…oh, she's really good at languages. I think she can speak like four or five, something like that. Anything else?"

Elrohir furrowed his brow. He didn't know what exactly he was looking for in the way of information, so he wasn't sure if anything JLyH had said applied or not. With a shrug he moved on. "And what about a girl named Raina, do you know anything about her?"

"Raina! Oh!" JLyH grinned. "She here, too? Well, she _did_ say she _was_ coming, we just hadn't seen her yet."

"You do realise that doesn't make much sense? You've been here for the past fortnight."

A surprised look flitted across her face (she'd slipped, _again_, so she had to cover it up somehow). "That long, huh? Oh bully being bedridden."

He smiled, a slight one. He could identify with the feeling. "But about my question, J. You obviously know her…"

"More like, know _of_ her. I've never met her." Honesty, after all, was best. And she was less likely to make a mess of things later if she was blunt with some of their truths.

This clearly confused him, and he frowned at her.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled, grinning sheepishly. "Yes, I know her. I've never _met_ her, we're…" she scrambled for an explanation. "Pen pals. We're pen pals."

"Pen pals?" he questioned. This was unfamiliar to him.

Oh drat. "Yes, you know…we've corresponded. We're friends through letters. Tira's the one who coined the…expression. Because, you know, you use pens when you write letters, and…"

He nodded and waved it off. "It is enough to know you know her through letters." He paused. "So, what do you know about her?"

"Well, that depends." JLyH shrugged. "What do you _want_ to know? And _why_?"

He shrugged, helplessly, clueless. He didn't even know what he had wanted about Tira, anyway. He just had vague, inarticulate questions, and he wanted answers—of any kind.

"Well, Ro, if you don't _know_ what I'm supposed to tell you, how am I supposed to know?" she sighed, shrugging again. "What, that she's naturally blonde? _And_ readily admits to being blonde, too…er, blonde as in having blonde moments, you know…" she shook her head. "Back to hair colour. That made more sense. Am I supposed to tell you she's worked to make it that light? That she's a black belt, she misses the mountains, she thinks -actually _thinks_- pigmy shrews should be easier to keep as pets, because they are adorable?"

JLyH was grinning now. "I mean, honestly, Ro, what am I supposed to tell you? What, really, are you looking for? What do you want to know? And, again, _why_?"

Elrohir frowned. Had any of that actually helped? And _what_ was a black belt? He sighed in frustration. JLyH grinned more. She knew he had a reason, and she was patient. Not like she had a choice on the patient part…stuck in this bed for at least another week.

"Well…I like Tira." He shrugged, fidgeting in his seat.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." J muttered with a giggle. "What about it?"

"I just…was curious. I thought…maybe to learn something about the girl I lo- like."

JLyH nodded in understanding. "You do know, no matter how either of you feel, nothing can come of it?" She said gently. It wasn't that she was on Elrond's side, just that she _knew_ someday they would be returning to Earth, America…whatever name you wanted to call it. Not to mention the small matter of Tira being human and Elrohir an elf. Bit of an age gap, that.

Elrohir scowled. "Not you too. Is everyone against us?"

She shook her head. "It's not like that, Ro. Someday, possibly sooner than you think, we'll be going home."

"Bree is not terribly far."

She sighed. How to delicately drop a bomb of this size?

"We're not…we're not from Bree." She winced, waiting for the fallout.

Elrohir blinked. "Not…from Bree? You _lied_ to us?"

"Not…completely, no. Your father knows the truth."

He let out his breath and pursed his lips in thought. "Where then are you from?"

She bit her lip, hesitating before speaking. "A place called America. Earth. Um…Middle-earth is…is just a story, to us. It…we never thought…it was _real_. Until now."

"Ah-mare-ee-cah." Elrohir sounded the word out. "Interesting."

She was surprised he was taking it so well. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"Why does Tira call herself _Tira_?"

JLyH laughed at that. "I don't know exactly the reason…like, I don't know how it started. I do know that, um, in our world, when we have pen pals, we don't always use our real names, we make up a name. It's called a pen-name, or an alibi. My name, for instance, is not really JLyH. That is just the name I use in my…letters. Tira's real name is Cassandra, but she seems to really dislike it. I guess that's why she changed it."

"What does _Cassandra_ mean?"

"Er, prophet, I think. Um, someone who can see the future."

"Ah." Elrohir nodded. "Tirananniel means far-seer. I think that is like your _prophet_. She did not change her name so much as transmuted it into my language."

"If you don't mind my asking, why were you interested in Raina?"

Elrohir grinned. "Because I think Elladan _likes_ her."

JLyH gasped and started shaking her head negatively, a frown on her face. "That won't do, that won't do _at all_."

Elrohir looked startled. "Why not? I mean, besides the whole returning home to Ahmaireecah."

"She's only fourteen! Well, almost fifteen, but still! That is far too young!"

Elrohir cocked his head. "It is rather normal, actually. Most girls marry at her age."

"_NOT_ where we come from. Most people even consider _eighteen_ to be too young for marriage."

"I never thought of it like that." A horrified look crossed his face. "How old is Tira?"

JLyH laughed. "Oh, you don't need to worry about that, she's considered an adult. Twenty-three, I think. But why does it matter? We both know nothing can ever come of any of this."

Elrohir sighed and looked away, his gaze settling on the view out the window, though he didn't actually see it. Everyone was so dead set against his making Arwen's choice, that it felt as if he had no choice at all, most days.

"Has anyone ever thought about what _I_ want?" He muttered. "Must it always be about what _they_ want?"

JLyH studied him, concerned. She wished she could assure him that he would get the girl in the end, but this was more of a Princess Bride sort of ending, where sure, Wesley and Buttercup found each other once more, but Wesley was almost dead. Again. Oh, how confusing!

"Elrohir," she said softly, "I'm sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I am. I am sure God…Eru…has a plan for you."

Pressing his lips together, he declined to answer. What if Eru's plan did not match _his_ plan? He shook his head.

"I need to get downstairs. Father has called a meeting in the Hall of Fire. Someone will be up later to let you know what happened." He said finally.

She sighed, seeing she hadn't really gotten through to him. Nonetheless, she forced a nod, somewhat miserably. Disheartened and not looking forward to being alone, she wished someone would sit with her more.

-0-

Tira had left SG to her own devices, and SG's devices now revolved around a certain blond wood-elf and being near him. She'd always wanted to meet him; could one blame her if she wanted a chance to _talk_ with him?

She wouldn't do anything Tira wouldn't do…and she doubted she'd do some things Tira _would_ do and had done. She was more reserved than that, throwing herself at some guy. And that's not what she was on about, anyway. She just wanted to get to know him better.

He was, after all, her favourite.

First, she should let some of the others in on the important fact that Raniean and Trelan were here, since her friends were MC fans and wouldn't want to miss meeting the wood-elves, too. Not that she thought the two warriors would be going anywhere soon, now that they _were_ here, but still, she tended to think of her friends, too, so she'd let them know.

"Hey, guys!" She entered the room Londessa, Eltara, and JRH were sharing. "Guess what!" her smile was humungous, almost splitting her face. "Ran and Trey are here!"

Eltara literally jumped from her chair, clearly excited about this bit of news. "Oh really?" she asked with an almost far too interested look in her eyes, an evil grin pulling across her lips. "Good, because I was reading last night in _Between Darkness and Dawn_ that Ran is really serious. Serious people need to lighten up. It's good for the heart. I love confusing people."

She said this as if it made total sense, but her thoughts weren't tracked so completely by the others. Then again, it was Eltara. Confusing people was her pursuit of choice.

And, not bothering to wait for anyone, she swept from the room. Though where she thought she was going, without any clue where the elves were, wasn't clear either, and chalked up to _it's Eltara_.

JRH shook her head. "Do you suppose we should follow her? She could confuse a beanpole, but I don't fancy being kicked out because she decided the white linens needed to be tie-dyed orange."

Londessa grimaced. "It was an honest mistake! And it was _blue_, not orange."

SG giggled. "You've got to admit, the look on that elf's face was priceless."

"Priceless? He was _blue_!" Nevertheless, a rotten, telling smile was pulling at JRH's lips.

"At least it was from the juice, and not from anger." Londessa pointed out.

"He could've been angry. Some of that colour could have been anger." Blast it, she was beginning to giggle about it, too! _Be stern, JRH, stern!_

"No, I don't think elves turn colour like that, unless it's red if you walk in on them." Londessa shrugged, but her tone said experience, not indifference.

"Londessa!" JRH gasped, horrified.

SG's jaw dropped. "You did what!"

Londessa looked taken aback, then sniffed as if offended. "I never said _I_ did any such thing."

"Your tone said enough for you," JRH retorted.

"Then I'm sorry I didn't strike the proper tone with you. But you know, you can't be too careful about tones. They can confuzzle things."

"Now you're trying to sound like Eltara. It's just not working, Londessa. Do you need to fess up?" JRH demanded, clearly trying to be the responsible adult.

"I most certainly will not do any such thing! Fessing up is Kel's job, to Elrond. And fessing up to Elrond about any incident that may or may not have happened is most definitely _not_ going to happen."

"Hey now!" SG sounded indignant. "Don't go making it sound like my sister is a telltale."

Londessa shrugged. "Frankly, I don't care that she told. I'm just saying. Spilling things isn't my job."

"Spilling things to Elrond. So tell _us_. What happened? Who? When?" JRH was stern now, but she was worried, very worried.

"Where? Why? And how?" Londessa shot back, amused.

"Londessa!" JRH growled warningly.

"Okay, okay. _Fine_. If you must know, it was an accident. Like I'd do that kind of thing on purpose?"

"I don't know. Middle-earth air makes people do all kinds of things. Look at Tira."

Before questions could be answered or explanations plied from the girl, Eltara poked her head back in. "Helloooo? Did everybody die or something? I thought this was meet Ran and Trey time, not standing around, chewing the fat time. As much as I love chinwag and all, I'm not into fat at the moment, so let's get along, shall we?"

SG shook her head and laughed. "Fine, okay. Come on, they're in Legolas' room."

"Legolas' room?" Eltara repeated, then sniffed. "I might have known."

"Might've, but didn't." SG retorted, pushing past the girl with a grin, only to run into Lindelas.

"In a hurry?" Lindelas questioned, glancing at the group.

"Yeah, we're off to meet certain blond-haired warriors, who are bestest of friends, 'cept you don't really see it very much, on account of biographers being focused on a different set of friends, but it's all good, we'll get it over it, 'cause now we're going to meet them." Eltara beamed, completely unfazed by her run-on sentence.

Lindelas blinked. "O…kay."

"You should join us, Lin. It's a sweet life. And they're sweet elfies, 'cept I've never met them, so I don't suppose I would know, 'cept I do, so I suppose that settles it."

"Eltara, you need to learn punctuation." JRH snorted.

"Punctu-ma-what? Sounds complicated. Sounds _serious_." She pulled a face. "Ran's serious. Ran shouldn't be serious. Ran needs to lighten up. I'mma make Ran lighten up."

"Just don't-" SG started.

"Do anything Tira wouldn't do!" Eltara chortled, grinning.

SG looked startled. "You know about that?"

"Yeah, I was passing by, just caught that," she waved a hand. "Evidently I didn't stick around long enough, what with how you knew Ran and Trey were here before I did. More's the pity. I've lost valuable time. Someone as serious as Ran is bound to get himself back to Mirkwood too quickly, too soon, and that just wouldn't fit the plan."

"Plan? There's a plan?" Lindelas asked, incredulous, but when she saw Eltara's face, her look turned to startled. "Eltara, what are you planning?"

"Nothing Tira wouldn't do!"

"Which is evidently a lot of things others _wouldn't_!" JRH muttered.


	10. If It's Not Confusing, Confuse 'Em!

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

If It's Not Confusing, Confuse 'Em!

"Cal!" SG called out, seeing the girl disappearing further down the hall. "Cal!"

Calenlass paused and turned around. "Yes?" she questioned, a bemused smile pulling at her lips as she saw the smiles on her companion's faces. "Something up?"

"Nothing much," Eltara shrugged. "We're going to visit certain elfies and, you know, I think we think you'd like to come along."

Calenlass' bemusement only increased. "Al…right."

SG shook her head. "What she means is, Ran and Trey are here."

"They are?" Cal's face lit up. "Oh I think I agree with Eltara! I want to meet them, too!"

"Perfect." Londessa nodded. "They're just in Legolas' room, so come on."

Cal nodded and continued with the group past the last few doors to the prince's room, excitement fizzling among the girls.

Suddenly, though, Eltara pulled up short, a frown on her face. "You know, with a visitation like this, they should think themselves awfully important!" She shook her head. "I don't think that shall do. It shan't do at all. I think there is nothing worse," she announced loftily to the group, "than elves with inflated opinions of themselves, and the prince, according to certain ranger upstarts, already has an oversized ego. Do you think we're safe?"

JRH shook her head. "Really, Eltara, the things you think about. You're just being frivolous."

"Well, I am a silly. It's part of what makes me so unique and interesting." Eltara preened slightly, then shrugged. "Ah, well. There's nothing to it. I care more about the meet than any potential thoughts of self-importance which are out of proportion because of some kind of entourage attaching their selves to them."

She rapped on the door, waited for a half a beat, then breezed in. "Hello!" She grinned grandly, purposefully oblivious to the dirty look Legolas sent her. (The door had been cracked enough for the three to hear the conversation which had taken place outside.) "Things just got slightly more funtertaining!"

As the others shuffled in behind her, Londessa giggled, SG strained a smile (suddenly very nervous to be meeting certain wood-elves), JRH shook her head in amused exasperation, and Lindelas and Calenlass shot each other a private communication. It said, between the two of them, they should probably keep a closer eye on Eltara, especially if she decided certain wood-elves needed more _funtertaining_ while they were here.

Raniean and Trelan looked at Legolas, clearly bemused, but the prince simply shook his head helplessly. How to explain these girls? How to explain _Eltara_? Explaining meant making sense, and making sense and Eltara did not belong in the same sentence. (That sentence being the exception proving the rule.)

"Funtertaining?" Trelan finally asked, giving Eltara a brief once-over. Legolas had warned them these girls were odd, but what in all of Arda…?

"Yup! Funtertainment is good for making serious peoples less serious, and I can think of at least one -perhaps two, if Legolas doesn't stop glaring- but at least one person in this room who _is_ too serious." Eltara nodded sagely.

Legolas made a choking noise, almost surprised that he understood her. Then again, perhaps naming him off made what she said a little clearer? Nevertheless, he was almost amused by her insinuation. Almost.

Raniean and Trelan exchanged a look, then glanced back at the girl. A brow was creeping up on Raniean's face, and a traitorous smile suddenly started tugging at Trelan's lips.

He didn't hide it very well, apparently, because Raniean was aware enough of it (odd girls aside) to thwack his friend upside the head. "Cut it out." He warned. (This only seemed to make Trelan more amused, because the smile became all the more prominent.)

Londessa began laughing, but when they looked at her she quickly coughed and tried to get herself under control. "Sorry, sorry," she said, trying to school her face into a serious expression. "Don't mind me."

JRH shook her head, but she shifted a little closer to the wood-elves. And if there was wonder creeping across her face, she couldn't be blamed. "This is amazing!" she barely restrained herself from gushing. Barely. Which meant there was enough gush in her declaration to communicate, and the elves were clearly becoming rather off guard by the whole thing.

Again, looks were tossed around between the three childhood friends.

"I'm JRH!" She said, holding out her hand. "And you'll have to forgive me if I'm rather excited. I can't believe I'm actually meeting you guys!"

Stiffly, and with no small amount of bemusement, Raniean took the proffered hand briefly.

"We were just talking about you today!" SG exclaimed suddenly. (Sometimes, she said things when she was nervous. Mostly she stayed quiet. This time, something slipped out.) "Well, kind of. We were actually talking about Legolas, but you were there, too."

"What?" Londessa asked. She didn't remember talking about them.

"Oh," SG waved a hand, embarrassed. She shouldn't have drawn attention to herself, really, and why'd she have to say _that_? "Tira and I were talking about _Tears Like Rain_ this morning," she told Londessa, shrugging it off.

Lindelas suddenly hissed, "Hey, none of that!" She was talking about MC references, but the elves looked at her like she was being odd. She grinned weakly. "Heh. That is… My cat!" she exclaimed, espying the traitorous Pippin curled up in a chair beside where the prince stood, looking quite content with her lot.

"I thought Lord Elrond banned pets from the house?" Eltara asked, raising an eyebrow.

Calenlass burst out laughing. "Trying for the title of Lady Eyebrows, are we?" she teased.

Legolas snorted before he could help himself, earning odd looks from his two friends. He shook his head, indicating for them to let it go.

Eltara frowned. "No." She answered. "I'm not interested in that. I mean, I could, if I wanted to, but winning contests right now seems like too much work, and Tira's in a snit. Her eyebrow's been doing more sailing than floating, you know. Seen her this morning?"

"No," several of the girls mumbled.

"Eh." Eltara shrugged. "Surely, though," she looked hard at the prince, "you heard the commotion going around this morning, no pets allowed and all that jolly rottenness."

"I didn't make the cat come in. Do you want to put her out?" Legolas shot back.

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him, as they say," was Lindelas' reply. She, after all, did not want her cat lost in the great outdoors of this place.

"What who doesn't know?" a voice questioned from the doorway; they turned as Elladan stepped into the room. He hid a smile when Legolas, startled by the interruption, reflexively stepped in front of the chair the cat was on, trying to conceal Pippin, but the prince visibly relaxed when it was son, not father.

"Nothing much," Eltara answered, smiling sweetly at the oldest twin. "Just that if you don't know something, chances are you don't know that you don't know it. Which means it's no skin off your back, and that means it doesn't harm you at all, not knowing it. And that you haven't been skinned. Yet, skinned can also mean you've been swindled, and I suppose that the fact that you don't know something may potentially mean you have been swindled is debatable about its level of harm, due to it being debatable about whether or not the not knowing is swindling or not. Then again, maybe not."

Nine pairs of eyes blinked at her, and she looked around at all the blank, bemused, and (on Elladan) disoriented looks. The rest of the room was split evenly between the blank and the bemused, with SG, Londessa, Raniean, and Trelan obvious about their confusion, and the other four deciding it best to not try for any display of emotion over it. What more could be said other than _it was so Eltara_?

"Yes…" Elladan said slowly. "That may as well be, but Ada wants us all in the Hall of Fire."

"Pity. That means my debate has no place in all of this." Eltara folded her arms, pouting.

"No, it doesn't." Elladan answered.

Eltara frowned. "You people are so intellectually _un_-stimulating. My poor brain is suffering from this kind of trauma. And here I thought elves would be a bunch of highbrows, but nooo, so far only their brows are really high. More's the pity. I'm not that strange."

"Of course not. You're just…unique," JRH answered.

"Unique, smique." Eltara waved a hand. "That's a placation for the masses, and if everyone is unique, then we are the most conformed unique I have ever seen, and that's a pretty big oxymoron right dere for ya."

Raniean bristled at the idea of being in a conformed society. Sure, there were rules and other such things, but elves on the whole prided themselves on their differences, so he said as much.

Eltara gave him a long, measured look. "I _did_ say it was an oxymoron, Ran. Besides, what do I care for conformity? It's _boring_. It sounds _dull_ and _serious_."

"Ran?" Trelan queried, quirking a brow. That girl certainly did act rather familiar with his friend. And why was that other one grinning at him like that? He smiled at her, but wasn't sure what to make of that look.

"I'm Star Gazer, but you can call me SG. Everyone else does." SG introduced herself, ignoring Eltara's newest ramble in the background, even as Elladan tried to get the girl to shut up so they could get to the Hall of Fire.

"Pleased to meet you, SG." Trelan replied a little stiffly. She was still grinning at him oddly, even if he did recognise some of it as nervousness. Why did he make her nervous?

She abruptly looked away, glancing around at the other interactions going on in the room as she unconsciously chewed at the side of her thumbnail.

She hadn't actually thought meeting her favourite elf would be this…this…weird. There was more than one conversation she could remember where she'd boldly said all the questions and things she would ask, say, do to Trelan if he were real, but now it was like her thoughts wouldn't stick. She had no clue what to say to him. Finally, the only thing that came to mind was the one question guaranteed to make all the elves give her strange looks. "So how about those Rangers?"

If she thought things were awkward before, that percentage skyrocketed when the whole room fell silent and all eyes turned on her. Her face flushed. "Er…that is…"

Suddenly, Legolas rubbed his head, trying to dispel the headache forming there. Please, oh please, Valar, tell him she didn't have a crush on his friend. Please tell him so! Did all of these girls have a crush on someone? He was grateful everyone seemed to be leaving him alone.

He had barely gotten this thought out when he saw JRH and Londessa looking at him and giggling. He gulped and took several quick steps over to Elladan, where the dark-haired elf had scarcely left the doorway. (And the prince could not blame him for being wary around the girls, at all; it was completely understandable and a feeling he could identify with. However, this was all the twins' fault, so they should just deal with it. He, however, shouldn't have to. He wished he could get away from these girls, in fact. Two, going on three, weeks with these girls had been sheer torture! How much more would he have to endure?)

"How about getting down to the Hall of Fire?" Legolas asked pointedly, turning to look back at the room.

"Yes, let's," JRH sighed. "The sooner we get this over with, the better." She glanced at dark-haired elf near the door (drat, which twin was it?). "Are we in too terribly much trouble?"

"And do we dare ask what happened this time?" Lindelas piped in.

"You're not in trouble. Mithrandir is here, and I suppose Ada wants you all in one location for ease of finding you after he talks to him."

"Mithrandir?" Raniean and Trelan questioned at once.

"The old wizard is here? Really?" Eltara asked, her face brightening with intrigue. Indeed, this day just kept getting more interesting and interesting. First, wood-elves, now a wizard! This was the life, wasn't it?

"Yes, so if you could get a move on, we're supposed to be there right now."

"Gee, you're Elladan, aren't you? Bossy." Eltara sighed.

He sent her an irked look, and said shortly, "Come on."

"Oh, _sigh_. Fine." Eltara affected an air of resignation. "If you insist, you insist."

"Tara, come on." JRH rolled her eyes. "Let's _go_. Don't be so melodramatic."

"But it's my only joy in life!" Eltara threw a dramatic hand to her forehead as she crossed the room. Then, she dropped her hand and said, straight-faced, "Except for confusing people, that is. Because that's just even more hilarious. Nevertheless, theatrics are funtertaining, and it wouldn't be a complete day without a few, after all."

Thankfully, though, it was left at this and the group shuffled out of the room and spilled into the hall, finally on their way to the Hall of Fire. They worked their way down the hall, with SG innocuously, innocently ending up beside Trelan, and Eltara grinning at a rather befuddled Raniean.

"You're _sure_ we're not in trouble?" JRH pressed Elladan, worrying her lip.

"Very. As long as there hasn't been any…interesting…_episodes_ today." He answered, shooting her a pointed look.

JRH gulped, and decided not to mention what Londessa had confessed to. It might be better to let that lie, for now. Besides, if the unknown elf hadn't come forward himself already…well…she could only hope Londessa hadn't been naughty, and that it had all been an honest accident.

They came across Tea and Kim when they reached the stairs, the two girls just having reached the top.

"Oh! We were coming to get you." Kim smiled at her friends. "Tira didn't want to do it, so we volunteered to do so. Kel's with her in the Hall of Fire." She paused, then suddenly grinned at the other girls. "Hey! Did you guys know Raina's here?"

Elladan made a strange noise in his throat, but when Legolas gave him a questioning look, he shook his head. "Yes, and you can all say hi and do your weird girl hugs _in the hall_."

"There really is _another one_?" Legolas asked. Oh Valar, shoot him now and put him out of his misery!

The girls were abuzz with excitement, and each time one of them said "Raina" Elladan wanted to either run _very_ far away or turn around and demand they shut up, just _shut up_. They couldn't get to the Hall of Fire fast enough…but then again, he realised with a tightening of his gut, Raina would be _there_.

Why did the Valar insist on picking on _him_?

It was the prince's voice that suddenly brought him from his miserable thoughts and self-inflicted pity-party. "Do you suppose Mithrandir will have answers?" Legolas asked the twin quietly as they stepped off the last stair.

"Does that infuriating wizard ever have answers that are _helpful_?" Elladan shot back.

"Touché," Legolas answered. "You're in a snit. Was it Tira or did you see that 'infuriating wizard?'"

_Let's go with wizard._ "Do _you_ enjoy listening to his crazy mutterings?"

"I'll give you that," Legolas chuckled.

By now, they'd reach the Hall of Fire, and Tira's voice drifted out. "Esssstellllll…"

Elladan winced, hanging back and letting the group go ahead. He didn't fancy going in there; _she_ was in there, and he wasn't sure he wanted to face that…face that face, and that weird feeling…Valar, were his palms clammy just at the thought? What was wrong with him?

"Lemme seeeeee…" Tira was obviously nagging his little brother about something, but he didn't feel like rescuing him, either. If he did, Tira would simply turn on _him_, and he suddenly wasn't sure she wouldn't blurt something out about…about…_her_.

"No." Aragorn said firmly. "It's none of your business."

"But…you're _so_ boring and Ro's not here."

"Pity." Sarcasm dripped from the ranger's tone.

"Tira," and there was _her_ voice. "Why don't you come talk to _me_ and leave him alone?"

"But _Raina_! He's got something interesting and he's not sharing. He's being rude."

"Did you share your journal?" Legolas retorted, evidently coming to his friend's aid. "I believe you told Dan it was on par with being taboo to ask to see it."

"That was different."

"Are you going in?" Tea asked, pausing beside Elladan.

"Yes, yes. After you." He waved her forward.

She gave him an odd look. Then grinned slightly. "What, making sure we don't run off?"

He forced a smile. "Exactly. So get in."

"Oooh, fine. Just don't give us any tea!" She laughed and went in, and he had no choice but to follow.

"No!"

"Spoilsport! I wanna _see_ it!"

"No!"

"Tira!" Several voices chimed at that moment, but the girl was staunchly ignoring her friends.

"I have a suspicion as to what it is! I want to know if I am correct! Lemme _seeeee_!"

Elladan might have been more inclined to intervene, but he found the sight far too amusing. Did the short girl honestly believe she could ever reach that? Not only was Aragorn taller, he also had longer arms, and her fingers weren't coming anywhere close.

"_Tira_." The soft voice was firm. Firm enough that the redhead paused.

Elladan's gaze moved to the source and his smile dropped. There was that odd feeling, in full force, all over again. What, had someone slipped some of that strange coffee into his drink this morning? His heart wasn't beating quite right.

"Leave the poor man alone," Raina chided, with a hint of a smile to take away any misperceived sting. "Really, it's Estel's business, not yours." Tira dropped back to her feet with a sigh at her friend's gentle reprimand.

Aragorn shot the new girl an odd look, startled. "You also know me?" His gaze skimmed the group of girls. "You're one of them, huh?"

"Hey, we're not all bad," Kim defended, obviously offended.

"Yeah, some of us have been angels." Tea piped in.

There was a flicker across the room, a waver in the light, but no one paid it any mind or the thump that accompanied it.

"Or, really, _really_ good devils," Tira shrugged. Then she grinned, her oh-so-innocent grin, that one that was pure evil because it was far too mischievous. It meant hare-brained scheme and possibly a damage to someone's person if they weren't careful and/or got in her way.

"Yeah, Tira's the only imp, really, in this group," Calenlass added.

"Hey! I resemble that remark!" Tira drew all five feet of her up, affronted.

"Of course you do. It's what I just said."

Suddenly, Kim squealed in fright and jumped back. Startled, everyone turned to locate the source of the disturbance, and several of the girls yelped and jumped away, too. All was a confusion of shuffling around, but all the elves caught was a brown blur that came out from among the girls and made a beeline for Raina, surprising the newcomer herself when it scurried up her, but she didn't appear to be upset.

"Roth!" She greeted the monkey as he settled on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around the top of her head tightly, chittering agitatedly about screaming girls and scurrying feet and something about elves. "How did _you_ get here? Followed me, eh?"

"Aha! So _you're_ the mysterious owner!" Tira announced the obvious.

Raina smiled slightly, but the expression quickly disappeared. "I mentioned I'd bring him. I just didn't know he came over, too."

"Oooh! Monkey!" Tea clapped her hands, hurrying over. "Can I see him?"

Raina turned so the girl had a better view, but from the spiel of angry chattering coming from the monkey, he didn't appear to want to go anywhere anytime soon. He had important things to tell Raina, after all; about elves and wizards and cryptic messages, and all those things he hears outside open windows and beside roofs when he's creeping around looking for tasty morsels to sink his teeth into.

"JLyH would _love_ to see him!" JRH grinned, slinking closer now that the unidentified intruder had been identified and was obviously tame. "She loves monkeys."

Raina pried at the furry arm around her forehead, but Roth would not budge. She slipepd his arm off, only for him to hug her again. She shook her head, and Tira, being the awesome O Blue One and all, could read the exasperation behind her blank look, and also the amusement.

"JLyH, you say?" Raina questioned the girl quietly. "Where's she?"

JRH pulled a face. "Bedridden. Broke her leg in a fall two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that. We'll go see her after."

Aragorn, intrigued himself, shifted cautiously closer (he still didn't trust these girls). "Did you call it a monkey?" he asked.

Kel grinned and nodded her head, having come over to Raina as well. "Yes, a monkey. A…capuchin, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Quite right." Tira chimed in.

Curious despite himself, Aragorn shifted a little closer. It was kind of cute…when it was less agitated, he might ask the girl about holding it.

"Well, I say…if Roth is in, the other animals can come in. Dan!" Tira rounded on the elf, who had taken up position near the doors, although that also meant he was only a few feet from them, as Tira hadn't, apparently, let Aragorn really get into the room before she had accosted him. This also meant, though, that Elladan, out of all of them and other than Estel, had caught all the quiet conversation, for Legolas and friends were keeping their distance and had drifted over to the fire.

Either it was this fact or some intuitive foresight, perhaps a mix of both, but he knew instantly what she was going to demand and immediately denied her. "No. Ada said no pets are allowed."

"But Roth is in." Tira put her uninjured arm on her hip and tried to stare the elf down.

"Then put him out." Elladan answered simply, unfazed.

Raina was glancing between the two, for she was trying to understand why there was so much tension between her friend and the older twin. Of course, to Elladan, she was unreadable, and he rather wished she'd not look at him like that, because he couldn't figure what she was thinking and coupled with everything else, it most unnerved him.

"But," Lindelas protested, sitting backwards on the couch nearby and looking at them over the back. "My cat is inside. Besides, you can't leave the monkey outside, as he won't stay. Not as long as there are open windows for him to come in by. He'd just come in by them. It'd be useless."

She had left her cat upstairs in Legolas' room, perhaps to keep Pippin hidden from Elrond, which was itself a deception but she hadn't figured on it being so until that moment. She wouldn't even have mentioned the cat, hadn't planned on doing so; however, she couldn't stand by either and not stick up for her quiet friend. That wouldn't be right.

Elladan sighed, wanting to rub his temples and close his eyes for awhile, blocking them all out. He swore if he didn't, he'd have a huge headache before the day was out. But, ever the responsible one, the firstborn, he tried to find an acceptable compromise.

He gave a heavy sigh. "Very well," he started, "but under terms. They come in to the Hall, and _only_ the Hall, and _only if_ they are on some kind of tether, _and_ you keep them in check. Otherwise, they go right back out. This includes that badger, as well; _all_ are on tethers. And the wargs go back into their pen immediately after we are done here. Agreed?"

Tira screwed up her face in a weird sort of thinking pout as she determined whether or not she wanted to agree to what were actually very acceptable conditions. She had been hoping that he would outright refuse so that she could tease him, such as holding his obvious odd behaviour towards Raina over his head (theoretically speaking...seeing as his head was more than a foot above hers).

From over on her couch SG made a noise. Even though she also thought the twin's conditions were appropriate, she could see Tira wasn't going to agree immediately. The fact that Tira wasn't raging, but she did have that _look_ on her face meant someone would need to intervene, and fast.

"We accept!" She shouted out. "I'm sure I can fashion some sort of badger harness, or something. Thank you…Dan?" She guessed. She had only caught the terms about letting the animals in, and wasn't sure which twin was there with them. However, judging by his interaction with Tira, the fact that Elrohir and Tira were hardly let around each other, and his tone of voice made her think it was Elladan. Perhaps there was something to that whole firstborn thing, even with twins.

Tira whirled away from Dan, throwing her arms in the air. "I was having fun. You ruined it."

"But," Raina interjected quietly, "at least Ari gets to come inside."

Tira glanced at her friend, and a smile appeared on her lips. "You're right. Ok. Come on SG, I'll show you how to make a makeshift badger harness!"

SG nudged her sister, who had checked out of the conversation awhile ago, and Kel looked at her in confusion.

"James can come in, and Butch." SG explained. "But they have to be on leashes."

"Oh, ok." Kel nodded. The two stood up and went to join Tira at the door.

Tira, of course, was trying her best to figure out how to maneuver Elladan closer to Raina. She finally worked it out that since he stood in the door, he obviously had to move; but since she also knew, if the choice was his, he would either step out or towards the right, where no one stood, she would have to head off both avenues of escape, thereby making it inevitable. Just as SG and Kel arrived, Tira rushed Dan, slipping an arm around his back to propel him away from the door and in the direction she wanted.

"Come on Dan, you'll have to move else we can't get out. You're taking up the whole of the doorway, you big lug. Sheesh." Because he wasn't expecting it, he did not resist at first, and suddenly found himself face to face with the object of his discomfort, who herself looked a bit out of sorts. Of course, he did not know it was because she wasn't sure of what she had done to receive the sort of attitude from him he kept giving.

Tira made a satisfied chirping sound as she waved her fingers at them. "Have fun! don't do anything I wouldn't!" and whirled out the door, her confused friends following.

It took them less than fifteen minutes to find some thin ropes that would be ideal as temporary leashes and to get them on the animals. Because badgers were wily, wiggly creatures it took a little more time to get Butch situated, but with a few odd twists of the rope and some slip knots Tira had fashioned a harness the badger would have to work to get off.

They had just triumphantly arrived back in the Hall when the door flew open again, a very unhappy and distraught Elrohir rushing in. Everyone turned to look at the sudden arrival, but it was Tira that saw the problem first and she couldn't help but throw her head back and just laugh.

Elrohir had made a new friend.


	11. Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fur!

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fur!

"_Elladan_!" Elrohir rushed over to his twin. "Get. It. Off!"

There was a distinctly pink, purple, and sparkling blue blob attached firmly to the elf's shoulder and was presently unhappy with the ride it was receiving. Elladan slowly approached, wary of the strange animal as it hissed at him.

"What is it?" He asked, stopping before it could nip at him.

"I don't _know_! It just _attacked_ me!" Elrohir scowled. "Now get it _off_!"

Tira, still chuckling every few seconds, came closer, ignoring the look Elladan sent her way. "_It_ is a badger. Like Butch." She shook her head and muttered, "I thought elfies were all supposed to be big nature freaks, can't even identify a badger. Really!"

"It's _pink_! And _sparkling_!" Elrohir retorted. "Normal badgers do _not_ sparkle!"

"_Normal_ badgers, but it's obviously not a _normal_ badger!" Tira grinned. She had her suspicion about where this certain new addition came from and who it belonged to…

"I don't care," Elrohir stated, shaking off that subject. "I just want it _off_. Elladan." He said his brother's name pointedly.

It was Tira, though, who reached out towards the bundle of fur only to be rewarded with a hiss from the animal and a yelp from Ro as she dug her claws in deeper. Tira laughed again.

"She likes you, Ro. I don't think she wants to get down."

"Take your badger _away_. _Now_." He hissed through clenched teeth.

"She isn't _my_ badger." Tira smirked. "Besides, I think she looks good up there."

"Don't." He suddenly shot a glare at his twin. "I swear, Elladan, if you _laugh_…" He let the threat hang in the air.

Elladan's eyes were sparkling with repressed mirth even as he scowled at his twin. "I would never do such a thing."

"Yes, you _would_. You _were_." Elrohir shot back. "So just be a _good_ brother and _get it off_."

"You think I want to lose fingers? No. She's not hurting you."

"Not hurting me? I have _claws_ in my shoulder."

The twins exchanged glowers, then Elladan said, "Deal with it."

Elrohir's glare intensified even more at that, but he didn't get the chance to retort, for it was then that Elrond, Gandalf, and Glorfindel chose to enter. Taking in the scene, Elrond sighed heavily.

"Elrohir…never mind, I am not sure I want to know. Elladan," he turned to his eldest. "What are all these animals doing in here?"

Elladan floundered. He was between a rock and a hard place, because how could he logically explain the why? And claiming that it was _Tira's_ fault wouldn't hold any water with his father, as he would be the one held accountable. So much for an acceptable compromise.

Aragorn, laughter and tears in his eyes but otherwise composed, spoke up. "I'm sorry, Ada, that's my doing. See, there was this monkey creature that sneaked in and…um…I didn't think it fair to the other pets to be left out."

Frankly, he couldn't actually have cared less about the other animals, but his brothers were both at an obvious loss. Besides, if he stood up for them now, they owed him…

Elladan shot him a grateful look, but it did not escape his attention that this would cost him. Aragorn would be wanting some kind of recompense later, especially if he got in trouble.

Elrond, not entirely convinced, ignored the snickers coming from the wizard behind him and just waved a tired hand. "Fine, take a seat…if your, ah, passenger allows you to, anyway." He gave the creature a studied look.

It was then that Eltara decided to step up. "Luna! Oh my pretty Luna baby!" She cooed.

Hearing her owner's voice the sparkling badger placed her front paws on Elrohir's head and stood on his shoulder, as if searching for her person.

Once she caught sight, as Eltara had stood and was coming over to rescue her "baby," she made a pleased chirp and launched herself from Ro's shoulder, causing him to shout out in pained aggravation.

"Oh, goodness! Look at what she did to your shoulder." Tira made a tsking noise and went to go baby her elf when Elrond cleared his throat and looked at her pointedly. Scowling in his direction, she backed off and crossed her arms awkwardly, her splint getting in the way of a proper sulk.

Elrohir had taken a deep breath at her approach, and slowly let it out when she backed away. He didn't know, of course, that his father had heard his declaration of desire, and was almost afraid of his own reaction had she actually been allowed to touch him. On the one hand, he wanted her touch, to feel her gentle fingers tending his badger-inflicted wounds (or any wound at all, for that matter), but the other had him scared to the point of mind-numbing confusion.

What was this? He already knew he liked the girl, just as he knew nothing could come of it. So what was there to be frightened of? He shook his head and perched on the edge of a seat, as close as he could get to Tira without being obvious, and without touching.

Elrond was trying to corral everyone into one common area, so that everyone could be addressed easily all at once. However, there were fur balls to trip over and certain elves avoiding certain girls, and too many people talking at once. It was mayhem.

"Tira!" Elladan yelled at the girl. "I said keep the animals in check. That," he pointed at Ari, who had a pillow in his slobbering mouth and was intent on finding a way to demolish it, "is not _in_ _check_."

"So you take it from him." Tira shot back.

"Legolas, can you scoot? You're in my seat!" Tea told the elf. In reality, this wasn't true, but maybe in the chaos she could trick him into letting her sit by him.

No such chance.

"No, this isn't your seat. It's Trelan's." The prince said, with a rather pointed tone of voice and look at his friend. Getting the message, Trelan promptly sat in the indicated spot.

Kel perched on the arm of another sofa, addressing her sister. "SG, will you just sit already? Here." She indicated the open cushion.

"Shouldn't JLyH be in on this meeting?" JRH piped up.

"No, someone will fill her in," Elrohir replied.

"Hey, is that _the_ chair, from _The Curse of Angmar_? You know, when Legolas sang and Aragorn was being moody?" Londessa asked Lindelas, who shrugged, but also sent the girl a warning glare. Mentioning MC names was not recommended, and they couldn't afford to spill things yet.

Elrond caught this comment, above the bedlam, and he frowned. It was strange to consider such things were laid out in stories in these girls' world, a world so different from their own and one that he had had no idea, would never even have _dreamed_, existed.

"Tira, the _pillow_." Elladan remonstrated.

"Elladan, get it yourself."

"It's your pet, and you agreed."

"No. _SG_ agreed. I capitulated on it until this moment. Now, the armistice is over."

Elladan gaped at her, open mouthed. How had she managed to play him like that?

"Not to _mention_," she continued, oblivious to his stare, "between your brothers and Legolas, you four have destroyed by far many more pillows than that one, raggedy old piece of stuffed cloth Ari has."

Gandalf started chuckling and mumbling again, causing Elrond to glance at him in extreme confusion. "Well played, little prophetess, well played. Pull the other, it's got bells on."

"That is not the point." Elladan collected himself. "Now, get up and take care of it or-"

"Or what, Dan?" Tira interjected, her voice full of honey. "You wouldn't be trying to _threaten_ me now, would you? How very un-_gracious_ of you."

Gandalf's laughter boomed out, adding to the noise. Glorfindel, having caught the exchange, was torn between disgruntlement and amusement.

Elladan, however, paled and was unable to string two words together. The paleness slowly was replaced by a dark pumice shade as his anger caught up with his mortification.

"SG, your badger's in my face. Can you please take him?" Calenlass demanded, pushing the badger away and trying to get comfortable on her cushion on the floor.

"That's cause you're on his level. He thinks you want to play." SG replied, but nevertheless got back up to go get the animal. It was accidental, actually; in the confusion of the chaotic moment, the rope had pulled from her hand and the badger had scampered immediately over to the girl on his level.

"There, there, Luna. He didn't mean anything by it. No, he didn't." Eltara cooed to her badger. "He's just Ran and he's just serious. It's alright, my pretty."

"James! Be still!" Kel rebuked the warg pup.

"Oooh, sorry about Tyndel. Come here, Tyndel. Just don't get your face near him, Trelan, he might sneeze on you." JRH apologised, tugging on the lead in her hand. "You smell interesting, and he's just trying to figure out who you are."

Elrond fought the urge to rub his temples, feeling a headache from all the chattering, scurrying, fighting, yelping, chittering, cooing…Gandalf's amusement…people voices, animal voices…that _warg_ was eating a _cushion_!

"_Tira_." Elladan's angry, reproachful voice clued Elrond in as to which owner was responsible for the demolition of his home.

"Silence!" Elrond called, his tone of voice immediately shushing the whole room…except for the animals and the sounds of a few occupants shuffling around still.

"Tira, get the warg under control, or he is back outside this instant. Understood?" The Master of the House spoke firmly and with no small amount of warning. He would take none of that being crossed nonsense. The girl had to get in line, because progress was not being made otherwise.

"I won our spat. Elladan has to do it. It's the _gracious_ thing to do." She replied impertinently, smiling proudly at the look her emphasis brought to the older twin's face.

With a small sigh, Raina shook her head. She still wasn't at all sure why Tira insisted on badgering Elladan, but she could see Elrond's mounting ire, and wanted to smooth the situation.

"Tira, please go take care of Ari. That stuffing can't be good for his digestive system."

Giving the sigh of long-suffering, Tira clasped her hands as best she could to her chest. "Anything for you, gwathel."

Standing, she went over to her pet and wrestled the pillow away from him. He growled, though, and tugged back, thinking it a game.

While Tira fought with her pet, Elrond cast a hard look around the room. "The rest of you, be silent. Find a seat and be still. _Now_." The last word carried throughout the Hall with a heavy ring, carrying a silencing weight.

Immediately, the room fell quiet, but Roth chose that moment to chitter several syllables of monkey language from Raina's shoulder. All eyes turned to her and the girl smiled sheepishly, apologetically. She reached up and flicked the monkey chidingly, but Roth didn't seem to care.

However, there was silence at last.

It had taken three tries to get the pillow away from Ari completely, and by the time Tira had managed it, everyone had found their seats and the room had settled. And, with the pillow situation finally righted, Tira stood back up and turned, a grin lighting up her face as she realised rather quickly that the only seat left was right next to Elrohir.

With a satisfied grin, Tira plopped down beside the younger twin, beaming up at him. Her proximity to him made her skin feel all tingly, as if she had a low-level current running through her; she likened it to the feeling of placing one's hand on a plasma-ball, the science museum exhibit that had bright blue lines of electricity playing out within the ball until a person made contact, where the current then focused directly on that contact. She wondered if he felt it too.

While Tira was thinking of the current, Elrohir was trying to keep his hands to himself. Since he had avoided her like the plague, knowing any relationship was doomed, he should never have known the intricacies of each piece of jewellery she wore, but he did. Without even looking, he knew that on her right index finger she wore a silver ring that had a small purple stone. Her right thumb sported another silver ring that looped around and ended with two cat heads, miniscule green and orange jewels inset for the eyes. She had several rings on her left hand, as well, all of which he could describe if asked.

It was too much. Trying not to attract attention, he inhaled, taking in the delicate scent of freesia that she wore, wondering where she had found such an oil. Her being so close was distracting, he wasn't hearing a word his father said. Maybe it was important…but nothing could be as important to him as this chance to be so near to her…

"Elrohir…" He looked at his father. Elrond had an exasperated look on his face, indicating he had likely said it several times.

"Yes?"

Elrond's gaze moved to Tira, who was still lost in thought with a small, amused smile tilting half her mouth up. "Please switch seats with Raina."

The other girl, having been quietly observing everything around her, startled at hearing her name. She looked at Elrond, then followed his gaze to look at Tira and Elrohir. Recognising the look on Tira's face, she smiled, stood up and offered her seat to the confused elf. He looked like someone had just woken him up, his eyes glassy and not-all-awake.

No one missed the glance he sent towards the redhead beside him before he moved and Raina took his place. She lightly nudged the girl, and Tira made a questioning noise as she turned, her thoughtful look turning into one of confusion matching Elrohir's. She focused on Raina and tilted her head.

"It's time to come back down to earth." Raina smiled gently. Tira's eyes skated over towards Elrohir, then towards Elrond as her face went through a gamut of emotions from confusion, loss, and ire.

"Space," Tira said loudly, "was preferable."

"Yes, well." Elrond replied. "Now it is time to discuss this situation."

Unease crept across the girls' faces, as the moment of truth had now arrived. Legolas and Aragorn exchanged a look, wondering if this would end well or unhappily for them. Raniean and Trelan, being the ones out of the loop the most in the hodgepodge group, leaned forward with interest, their curiosities genuinely piqued to understand the situation they had been brought into so late.

Elrohir was irritated, but nevertheless focused his attention on his father now that he didn't have Tira's proximity distracting him. He could think over things later, for now he had to be the attentive son and let things move along as they should.

As for Elladan…he had, originally, gravitated to a seat beside his brother, sitting on the floor at Elrohir's feet as his twin had chosen to perch on the arm of the sofa despite Celboril's conniptions over such being an abuse of the furniture. Now, though, he was definitely _not_ at his brother's side and definitely _not_ on the opposite side of the room from the one he was hoping to avoid.

No, Ada's changing of seats to get Elrohir out of Tira's reach meant that _the_ girl was inches from him. One accidental twitch her direction and he'd _touch_ her.

He wouldn't panic, though. Taking several deep breaths to calm down and stay composed, however, did turn out to be a mistake. She was, after all, in his breathing space. And that didn't help him. Trying to ignore the weird reaction of flurries in his gut, his gaze travelled across the room and locked with Gandalf.

The wizard was staring straight at him with a look full of so much amusement it sent a jolt of startle into his already jumbled and confused state of mind.

The different versions of tension in the air were palpable, and it was Tira who broke the delicate atmosphere with a response to Elrond's announcement.

"I agree," she said. "What _are_ we going to do about Estel's bathing habits, or lack thereof?"

Aragorn jumped, turning on the girl. "I beg pardon!" he spluttered.

"No, Tira," Elrond spoke at the same time.

"You're not pardoned, Estel. After all, that's why we're staging this intervention." Tira answered, so deadpan that Tea and Londessa and Eltara burst out laughing.

"Guys!" JRH groaned, but a grin was beginning to tug at her lips.

Lindelas and Calenlass were whispering to each other about it, cracking jokes, but when they caught sight of Elrond's face, they immediately shut up. Kel and SG, both having giggled at Tira's words, also quieted and grew serious when they saw the dark, angry look on his face, and all four girls held bated breaths.

Kim, who had procured a seat near the wood-elves, was sitting back with a smirk on her face when she also saw The Look and gulped. "Heh…she didn't mean anything by it, so don't mind her," she spoke up, trying to smooth things over.

"Tira can't help it," Calenlass offered. "She's just…special." _And she has little or no sense of self-preservation_, she tacked on silently.

"I am," Tira piped in, confirming it. "I am the awesome O Blue One." Then her eyes widened. "But really, Elladan, talking about your brother like that…we're here to talk about this very important situation of us girls."

Indignant, a glare was levelled at Tira from Elladan as the elf tried to ignore that infuriating wizard's amusement. Ignoring it was hard to do, as so much was the wizard's amusement that Elladan wouldn't have doubted that Gandalf was about to bust his gut open from the sheer magnitude of his laughter.

Elrond, however, decided it best to take the opening. "Yes, and since it _is_ important, it is time to discuss it."

"Okay, so open for discussion." Tira shrugged. "Just make sure we have some sense of order. Ow!" She jumped as a warning elbow dug into her side. She glanced at Raina, but her friend simply looked at Elrond and acted unfazed.

Ignoring Tira, and making a mental note that, to a degree, he seemed to have an ally who could keep the redhead in check in the new girl, he simply -but firmly- said, "Wizard." He turned to his friend, his sharp tone indicating he was done with this funny business and it was time to get down to the serious, so his friend should really stop laughing and begin the talk.

Gandalf stifled his laughter and cleared his throat, becoming serious. He pierced each girl with a hard stare, and each girl felt as though he were looking into her very soul. He noted what he saw, noted what he read in their eyes. And noted that Raina had met his gaze and could not keep it, looking away instead; that she was guarded did not escape his notice, and, with such a quick glance at Elladan no one noticed, he tucked away that "most interesting" piece of information for later inspection.

"I do not know why all of you are here." Gandalf began. Holding up his hand to still the comments he knew were inevitable, he continued. "That said, I do know that whatever reason you are here for, it is important to our unfolding future."

"This never happened in MC, though." Tea muttered, mostly to herself. ("_Shh_," Kim hissed at the girl, who sat nearest her.)

Glorfindel chose this moment to voice his confusion. "Why then do we not send them back to where they came from? If they were found near Mirkwood, then they must come from that area."

Uncomfortable silence filled the room as Elrond and Gandalf traded looks. Was it wise to release the information? Gandalf nodded once and motioned that Elrond should speak next.

"The girls are not from around here." He intoned. "They are…I have every reason to believe they were drawn here by forces beyond our control for a reason best known to those who made their crossing possible."

"I fail to understand." Elladan said quietly, still all too aware of Raina's presence.

"Oh, well, they're from a place called Ahmaireecah." Elrohir nodded. In response to his father's look he shrugged. "JLyH told me."

"America?" Elladan echoed, looking at his brother. "What is America?"

"It's…as far as we can figure, it's another world." Elrond tried to explain.

"One outside our own, bridged unseen to ours unbeknownst." Gandalf elaborated helpfully.

Everyone blinked at Mithrandir, trying to process that information.

Raniean shot Trelan a look, and his friend shrugged back. Who would have thought Thranduil's _feeling_ would land them in such a crazy, out-of-this-world situation like this one? Life as sentinels was never dull, but sometimes it was particularly spectacular.

Raniean shook his head, having to just take it as it was. But, why did that odd girl keep giving him weird looks, grinning at him like that? It rather unnerved him.

"So that means…" Elladan prompted.

"That they _will_ have to return home, to their own world, their own lives." Elrond finished.

"Soon?" Legolas asked.

"When the reason they have been sent here is fulfilled." Gandalf replied. Legolas' face was blank, so none of them were quite sure what he thought of that.

"And that…will be?" Elladan asked.

"Not soon enough." Glorfindel was heard to mutter.

"Since we do not know the whys, Elladan, we thus cannot know the wherefores. They shall remain here until their task is done and no longer." Gandalf ignored the elf's bad-tempered muttering. "I am sorry I cannot be of any more help. Be glad the Valar were _gracious_ enough to send anyone at all."

Elladan frowned. Between the wizard and the redhead, he wasn't sure if he would survive their stay. He was beginning to develop a complex over the girl, and they were not helping in the least. He could still feel the frisson on his skin from her proximity to him and discreetly shifted over. He had intended to move away from her, but was jolted from his thoughts when she moved and his arm brushed against her leg.

They both jerked away at the unexpected contact, but the fine hair on his arm stood on end as though a charge of electricity was crackling in the air beside him. It was like standing outside in a gathering lightning storm, and the out-of-body thrill terrified him. He dare not look at her; or Gandalf, for that matter, as the wizard's eyes were probably twinkling with some kind of secretive, amused _knowing_.

From his forced seat, Elrohir was in a prime position to see everything that had just happened between his brother and the girl he had identified as Raina. Things were getting interesting, and he wondered if that little jerk his twin had displayed meant he was feeling that same lightning-storm feeling that Elrohir himself had felt when next to Tira.

When he thought about it, he realised that both Tira and the wizard had more than once mentioned the word "gracious" with a tone that indicated something more, and concentrating on that, he realised the name "Raina" translated into that definition. Very interesting.

It didn't necessarily _explain_ anything concrete, but it did start the gears turning. He took this chance to study Raina, trying to see what his brother saw, but was distracted by Tira as she twirled a lock of her hair between her fingers, her teeth biting at her bottom lip.

He didn't know why, but that small, subconscious action made him feel twitchy, but in a good way. It was not the first time he'd seen her do it, but it was the first time he had really _noticed_. Shaking his head slightly, he tried to turn back to studying Raina, but his eyes kept sliding to her left and to the girl next to her.

Valar, what was _wrong_ with him?

Sensing he was losing control of the situation, that they were digressing, Elrond stepped back in. "Because we do not have any proper idea of why you were sent, Lord Glorfindel and I shall be instituting a regime to keep you occupied in the interim. A routine of programs designed for training and productively using your time here."

"You mean, school?" Tira wrinkled her nose. "Can't we just take hikes, see the sights, read books and look at…things?" she finished lamely.

Elrond looked at her placidly, refusing to be baited or hassled. "Perhaps you will get to do some of those things. Call it what you will, but it will fill your time here with reasonable, constructive activities. We certainly do not want any repeats of the linen fiasco."

"It was an honest mistake!" Londessa piped up. "Honest, really! I swear it was an accident!"

"Nevertheless, child, there will be less likelihood of similar _accidents_ in the future if you have a more structured day while you are within my home." Elrond answered. "Gandalf, Glorfindel and I shall meet with each of you individually to determine your strengths and weaknesses."

"And areas of _interest_?" Tira pressed, a smirk tugging at her lips.

Elrond levelled her with a calm stare. "Perhaps some. My son, though, is not on the agenda."

As Elrohir sat sputtering and trying to form a cohesive sentence, Tira smiled grimly at Elrond. "That's okay, I'm not really interested in Aragorn anyway."

"What's wrong with me?" Aragorn asked, only slightly wondering why he even cared.

Kim choked. "Aragorn, seriously? I would have thought with brothers like yours, you'd be a little bit more on the ball than that…"

Tira, however, sighed and sadly shook her head. "That ablutophobia you have, that's a very big problem."

Aragorn and several others looked very confused, but Londessa chuckled slightly, catching the dig for what it was.

"What? Don't know what it is?" Tira looked at them in surprise. Then grinned. "Why don't we ask Raina? She told me about it, after all."

All eyes turned on Raina, except for Elladan who felt he would be too exposed tilting his head to look up at her, and things were awkward enough for him.

"Oh, I, uh…" the girl looked around at all those eyes turned on her. "It's Latin based. Ablutere, 'to wash off.' It's the fear of bathing." She explained quietly, haltingly. Why did Tira have to put her on the spot? She preferred _listening_, not commenting.

Snickers coupled with a few outraged noises from Aragorn ensued at this. The ranger was clearly affronted, but by large, the reaction in the room was amusement, and several taunts and calls of "filthy ranger!" were heard.

"Well, medieval bathing practices were generally social." Kim piped in. "Maybe he actually has…what's the fear of being alone?" She glanced at Raina.

"Autophobia. The fear of _loneliness_." Raina supplied, unable to deny a friend.

"Yes, that."

Aragorn's face screwed up as he tried to determine whether or not he'd just been insulted. Legolas, though, caught it before he did and couldn't help the laughter from bursting out.

"You have been insulted," Lindelas confirmed for him. "You've been insulted real good. Double points, Kim, for a low blow _and_ awkwardness. Because that is just weird." She wrinkled her nose, but irrepressible amusement tugged at her lips.

Aragorn folded his arms, quietly fuming in his affronted feelings.

"Estel's bathing habits aside," Elrond interrupted firmly (and ignored Tira's muttered "Or _lack_ thereof"), "I will possibly take some of your interests into consideration when I make up your individual schedules."

Tea's hand popped up.

He stifled a sigh. "Yes?"

"Uhm…will we be doing things _alone_ or will some of our schedules overlap?" She asked as respectfully as she could, not wanting to anger the generous lord.

"It is possible. I won't separate you from your friends, but idle, you have all become a little too…bored, shall we say."

"Are you kidding? We had a fun game earlier. We had an impromptu musical chairs round." Tira pointed out.

Elrond sighed heavily. That redhead was a thorn in his side. And he hated that twitchy feeling that said he wouldn't be rid of it. She grinned at him, then winked and made a bizarre looking movement with her thumb and forefinger, pointing it at him, while winking.

Suddenly, Ari, who had been still long enough, jerked forward and pulled Tira off the couch and on to the floor.

"Ari! Stupid warg! Why I ever…!" Tira exclaimed.

Oh Valar help him. He needed some special herbs and peace and quiet now. With a tired wave, he spoke. "The rest of the day is yours. I will be calling you in to speak with you as I get the chance."

He swept past the circle and went to leave, pausing just this side of the door. "And all the animals go back outside, immediately."

"_Spoil_-" he heard Tira's voice call out after him as he swept from the room, but the door clicked soundly shut behind him and he was free of her. For the time being.


	12. Where's My Head  Lost In This

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Where's My Head?…Lost in This

"Well, now that the ice has been not broken, but _shattered_, is it…time for stories?" Cal leaned forward eagerly, trying to catch the eye of any elf in range.

"Ice?" Elladan repeated, glancing around. What was she talking about? Granted, there was probably ice outside, on account of winter beginning to come on strong, but it felt…hot…to him…in here.

That buzz hadn't stopped tingling on his skin, and he swore the fire was stoked too high. He felt stifling, and he needed space; he wanted to move, but doing so would be conspicuous.

"It's an expression where we come from." Kel explained, and Elladan tried to turn his attention to her, but there was a presence hovering too close to him and it was beginning to drive him crazy. "It just means…well, what Cal means is that now that the cat is out of the bag and the air's clear, can we hear some stories?"

"The cat is out of the bag?" Legolas repeated. "What cat? Whose bag?" he questioned, clearly confused. Was she talking about Pippin? The cat wasn't in his bag, he'd swear it!

"Another expression. Never mind. The truth is known." Kel waved it off, only slightly frustrated that her explanation required another. "So, stories?" she pressed.

"What sort of stories?" Trelan was both curious and wary.

"I know!" Londessa grinned at Legolas. "Tell us the story of how you and Aragorn met!"

"Oooh, yeah, I love that one!"

"Yes, tell that one!"

"I want to hear that one!"

A smattering of begging came from around the room.

Legolas raised a brow. "You seem to already know of it." Some things, now that the truth had come to light, made a little more sense, but it did not lessen the feeling of awkwardness over the girls' familiarity with their lives.

"Well of course we know _of_ it," Tea retorted. "We're psych…" she started automatically, then trailed off, remembering that they didn't have to lie anymore.

"Psychic?" Legolas finished for her, quirking a brow.

"Actually, we're not psychic," Kim admitted.

"Oh really?" Aragorn asked, a brow rising as well.

"Yeah…" Kim pulled an apologetic, sheepish face. "Sorry. But, what else could we think to tell you? The truth…the truth would have seemed too outrageous, and we couldn't afford to be lost out in the wilderness if you guys left us."

Raniean, though he knew the entire story now of how his prince had gotten sucked into this mess, still couldn't help but shoot a look towards that Eltara girl, who was sitting far too close for comfort with that…badger…would he have left her, no matter how strange her story?

SG, who had been quiet, was rather zoned out. And if she was staring at Trelan, she swore she was not aware of it. She had been deliberating over her earlier Rangers' comment and mentally berating herself over such a stupid thing to say, but now she paused to consider Kim's comment. She wondered if the boys really would have left them…and if Trelan had been there, how he would have handled their situation at the time.

"I don't think, no matter how bizarre and mad you sounded, that we could have abandoned any of you to winter's cold." Legolas finally said. A collective sigh went out, as the girls relaxed. Though, of course, it was past, they had all still been a little afraid that now the truth was known the elves and Estel would be leery of them, maybe wishing they had not helped.

Raina, finally tired of trying to stay perched on the arm of the couch, plopped herself to the floor at her friend's feet. She noticed, but did not otherwise react to, Elladan stiffening as she brushed arms with him while getting settled.

Elladan, of course, was going insane. Now that she was more on his level, he could smell the soap she used, see her face without looking like an idiot trying to be an owl, and worst of all feel even stronger the buzz against his skin; it was worse as she settled into her new spot and her arm kept bumping his.

Conspicuous or not, he had to move.

Just then, Ari discovered another cushion. Unfortunately, it was the cushion Raniean was sitting on, which made Luna get all territorial as she bristled up. If an angry badger was a scary sight, it was even scarier when that badger was multi-coloured and sparkly.

"No! No, no, no, no!" Tira jumped up, trying to get through the resulting jumble of people as everyone in the vicinity of the badger-warg showdown moved. She snatched up the naughty pup and gave him a little shake. "Never, never take on a badger!" she scolded.

"All the animals are supposed to be going back outside anyway." Elladan spoke up. This gave him the perfect excuse to move away. "Give him here, I'll take him out."

Tira stared at him in disbelief. "Well, how _gracious_ of you, Elladan," she answered cheekily.

From across the room, Elrohir made a choking noise.

James, finally cluing in that something was happening, climbed off Kel's lap unexpectedly and shook himself slightly before making a run for the elf, only to be waylaid by Raina as she scooped him into her lap. "I'll help you," she offered, trying to be helpful.

Tira shot a look towards Elrohir as the choking noise got worse, and had to smother her own laughter as she saw tears leaking from his eyes as he tried to hold it in. She had to look away or burst, so she took the opportunity to check out Elladan's reaction. He was pale, his eyes narrowed, as he glowered at his brother. Raina, though she had the slightest look of confusion, otherwise looked indifferent to the elf's reaction.

Then Roth, unhappy about a warg in _his_ space, hissed angrily at the animal, and James, curious as was his nature, simply got closer to the aggravated monkey on Raina's shoulder, snuffling and sniffing and tail wagging. Monkey arms and fingers scrabbled around the girl's face and Roth scrambled on to her head, so Raina had to quickly drop the pup and wrap the leash around her hand and stand up, to keep the monkey and the pup from getting into it. James whined, seeing his entertainment beyond his reach, and he put his front paws on Raina's knee and tried to reach the monkey again.

SG and Eltara stood as well, each cuddling their badger. Luna was still making a growling, hissy noise, all affronted that that warg had tried to get all up in her space, and Eltara was cooing and cuddling, trying to calm her down. They joined Elladan and Raina as Elladan himself stood up.

"Tira," Elladan ground between his teeth. "Let me see Ari."

He had said he would take the annoying creature out, he wouldn't go back on his word, but Valar, _why_ did _she_ have to come?

"Sure thing, Dan!" Tira grinned cheekily up at him. "And I'm sure you won't need any more help than the help so _graciously_ offered to you."

He sent her a quick glower, shot it at his chortling twin, and chose to ignore her comment. "JRH, I'll take Tyndel out, too." He told the girl as politely as he could, but it came out rather forced and very short.

"Er…thanks, Dan," JRH answered, shooting a glance at Tira's gleeful face. What was she missing here? Oh well. He'd offered, so she'd take him up on that offer, as she would like to pester the remaining elves and ranger for stories firsthand.

The pup wagged his tail happily when she got up and he trotted eagerly beside her over to the elf, thinking that he was about to be taken on a walk. After all, he'd been taken out of that pen and a lead was put on him—that meant a walk, right? Then he'd been brought in here and forced to sit still and behave. He'd better be getting that walk, now.

JRH passed the lead over to the elf, pausing just a bit before letting go. "Are you sure?" she clarified.

If that blonde-haired girl wasn't standing right beside him and his brain wasn't so scattered, he might have read the unspoken offer to take the pup out herself in JRH's voice. If his pride and dignity weren't at stake, he would have accepted her help. Perhaps there was some innate part of him that didn't _want_ anyone else around…or maybe he was going insane…

Insanity seemed the most fitting explanation; it was the only logical reason why he felt twitchy, in some oddly almost pleasant way (if he would admit to it), why he couldn't think and why her standing at his side seemed…seemed…it seemed…oh Eru, why did it _not_ feel like nothing, or even _wrong_? Why did it feel…natural? Then again, there wasn't something _un_natural about someone standing at your side, but this was different, it was… And see, he couldn't even make sense out of his own mind.

There was no reason why he felt edgy around her, no particular reason _at all_, and yet while he was uncomfortable, there was something that _wanted_ to be comforting about the way she smelled. And there was _no reason at all_ why his eyes wanted to slip of their own accord to her at his side.

He forced himself to keep his eyes on JRH and answered through the haze wrapping around his brain. (And he rather wished his twin would stop laughing…oh Valar, he was _not_ going on that ride with his brother now.) "Yes, I'm sure."

"Thanks," she smiled. Hey, she'd even double-checked, so she'd accept the offer…graciously. Great, now that word was infiltrating her thinking even! It was being said _way_ too much. "I really appreciate it, Dan." She said to him. "I want to hear whatever stories we can manage to wrangle from your friends. But don't worry," she grinned, winking secretively, "I won't let them tell any embarrassing stories about you without you here to refuse to let them be told."

He briefly wondered if he should believe her, but then realised she was sincere. It was her way of paying him back. He strained a small smile and nodded. "Thanks."

"Oh, hang on!" Tira, who had returned to her seat behind them, had heard this exchange and was ready with an objection. "What if I want to hear those stories? What if they are my _only_ enjoyment?"

JRH and Elladan looked back at her, but before the elf could tell the redhead off, JRH said, "They aren't. You enjoy so many other things…although granted recently tormenting him has been a favourite."

"Of course. He makes it so easy." A smirk came across her lips, one that told Elladan this would not end well for him.

"Come on," he said shortly, waving the girls toward the door, trying to make quick his escape before Tira could continue.

"Not so fast, you goody-goody!" Tira jumped up. There was a low buzz of conversation as everyone ignored their interaction, having seen plenty of Tira's ribbing of her favourite target, but Elladan heard her easily enough over the other talk, and he rather wished he didn't.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, but do try to be good and keep your hands to yourself. She's still quite young, you know, and innocent. No sullying that, okay? She's only 14."

Elrohir, still paying attention, choked and had a suddenly rather insistent coughing fit. It didn't sound so good.

Indignant, flustered…embarrassed… Elladan whirled back around on her. "_What_?" he demanded, his face heating up, and he would swear for years to come that it was from anger and _absolutely_ _nothing else_.

"What what?" Tira tried to look innocent, but the smile twitching at her lips gave the game away.

"I would never…do anything…outside of marriage."

"Hey now, she's too young for that too."

"I…but…" He spluttered, knowing she'd just take anything else he said out of context and twist it to suit her strange ideas. Instead, he shot her a glare, clamped his lips together, and turned, walking away.

"But?" Tira echoed, following after him. "But you want to?"

"_No_." He ground out before slamming the door shut in her face without even bothering to glance back. He ignored Raina's glance at him and the confused, startled looks on SG's and Eltara's faces.

Now that they were out the door, though, and heading down the hall, Ari decided that it was time to act up, as he realised his mistress was not coming along. He dug in his feet and refused to come any farther, simply because he was an unruly pup and Tira wasn't there to reprimand him—and perhaps he had his owner's penchant for being difficult with the oldest twin, garnering immense enjoyment from trying to get under his skin.

SG and Eltara continued ahead, since they had to put the badgers in a different pen than the wargs anyway, but Raina paused with James a few steps away. Elladan rather wished she'd just go on, but mostly (to his surprise) because it was embarrassing that the animal would not behave for him and he didn't want her there to see that—but why he felt such a silly feeling, he wasn't sure and it aggravated him more. He gave an impatient tug on the lead.

Ari may have generally been a nice, if not difficult, pup, but when Elladan did so, the warg issued a warning growl that rather unnerved the elf, and the other two animals didn't seem to like the sound either. James gave a quiet yip and Tyndel whimpered, wagging tail suddenly sinking between his legs as he hunkered down low to the floor and cowered away from the warg.

For a brief moment, Elladan caught a slight frown cross Raina's face, but when he glanced at her, the look was gone and he wondered if it had even been there. He was sure he had seen it, and he knew he should not find that small, delicate turn of her mouth cute. Because if he did, it rather disturbed him. Valar, what was wrong with him today? Tripping all over himself over some _girl_, and what for? Why? He needed some time alone to get his head on straight. This was ridiculous.

Why couldn't the stupid warg just come along? The sooner Ari did, the sooner they could put the animals up, and the sooner he'd no longer be left alone with this girl. It was all too unsettling.

With all these infuriating and bothersome thoughts swirling through his brain, when she took a step toward him, he glanced up at her sharply. She faltered, almost pulling back, then held out James' lead.

"Here," she said softly, so quiet he almost missed it.

Confused, he took the lead. Maybe she'd decided not to come along, and he couldn't say that he wasn't relieved. If only there wasn't that idiotic part of him that was being outrageous…what need did he have to be disappointed that she _was_ going away from him? That's what he'd prefer. It was.

So _where_ was his head today?

Yet, she wasn't leaving. She knelt down and slowly reached out a hand to the warg, pausing just a few inches away from touching Ari. The warg sniffed at her hand, then seemed to relax, as if recognising or sensing something about the girl.

Wargs too, huh? What was it with this girl? He swore, if Elrohir came to him about some sort of perspicacity concerning her, he'd join Glorfindel in that prominent disgruntlement. That would probably entail a bunch of "frowning terribly," as Tira would put it, and thus bring about even more annoying badgering from the redhead, but there was no way around that.

Perhaps he was overreacting, but the antsy way she made him feel unsettled him dreadfully, and he couldn't even assimilate why everything was so strange. Like why that monkey creature agitatedly running its fingers through the girl's blonde hair went all over him in an inexplicable way, because her hair was _her_ business, not any of his, and he most certainly was _not_ about to start losing himself in daydreams about someone he had absolutely no interest in.

As he ruminated over these not-happening daydreams of a person he wasn't interested in, Roth suddenly started scolding, and when Elladan looked at the creature he saw it was scolding him, and giving him a rather unnerving stare.

Extremely uncomfortable, he shifted and tried to shake loose his thoughts, but why was that so hard to do? And why did Roth watch him so shrewdly? The creature couldn't…couldn't possibly read his mind, and couldn't possibly know or _sense_ anything. But then again, that annoying warg had _sensed_ something about the girl, and Gandalf muttered crazy things and looked at him like he _knew_ something, and he was _not_ daydreaming about some girl he'd just met.

"I'll…I'll take him," her voice broke through his thoughts in a quiet offer as she reached for the lead, the part hanging down between his hand and the warg's collar. Disoriented (again), rather disturbed by the train of thought current in his mental lapse, he didn't argue with her.

"Fine," he answered shortly, disgruntled as he let the lead slip from his hand. What, did she think she'd have more success with the ornery creature than he was having? It was a hopeless venture…the warg only _semi_-listened to Tira, and disregarded everyone else completely. She could fight with the stupid warg, but he doubted it'd do any good…

His irritation spiked as they continued down the hall and Ari trotted placidly beside the girl. He was exasperated with her for showing him up, the warg for being a wretched animal, Tira for teasing, his brother for laughing, his brain for noticing random details he shouldn't be paying any attention to and for all the weird feelings that ran all over him, his decision to help these girls, the upheaval, his life…her. He was exasperated with her.

It wasn't exactly fair. After all, it wasn't exactly her fault, the way he was feeling. That was the rational, logical way of looking at it. Today, he felt out of sorts and rather illogical. Perhaps this _was_ her fault. After all, _she_ was the one who had invaded his home; _she_ was the one who had had to have a name like…like the one she had (Valar, had he developed that much of a complex that he couldn't even bring himself to _think_ her name?) that everyone kept teasing him about; _she_ was the one who had made him antsy with her proximity; _she_ just had to be cute…

Woah, woah. Wait. Cute? Elo, he was losing his mind.

And since this had all begun when _she_ arrived, it followed that it was her fault. Everything. The teasing. The complex. For driving him to distraction, to insanity. For him losing his mind. She just had to walk through that door and flip his world around and severely alter his state of mind. Why did she do it to him? How had she done it?

He'd been _fine_ before she entered his life. Now, nothing seemed _right_.

Mulling over all these so-called miseries, he didn't bother with saying anything to her until after he'd led her outside, where a northern breeze had kicked up. She paused briefly on the first step, and impatient to be off and without a conscious thought about it, he tapped her arm. "This way," he said shortly, pulling off in the direction for the warg pen.

She wordlessly followed him, but he wasn't even thinking about her silence anymore. That isn't to say, though, that he wasn't still thinking of her.

His thoughts had taken a turn, certainly, but he couldn't apparently shake her from his mind because his thought process still pertained to her. Point of fact, he was berating himself over this latest exchange, because he couldn't understand why he had had to touch her; it hadn't been necessary, but he'd gone and done it anyway without even thinking about it, and now he swore his hand didn't feel normal anymore.

And he certainly wasn't ready to admit that since the moment he'd first seen her, all he wanted was to reach out and touch her. The frisson, that lightning-storm feeling that fizzled all over him and made the fine hairs on his skin stand on end; it was a sensation that terrified him witless.

But why must he keep thinking about it? If there was nothing (oh, did he clamp down hard on that quiet voice in some far corner of his heart that whispered that there _could_ be nothing, because allowing that voice would be admitting that he wanted or thought there _should_ be something), then why did he focus so much on all of this? Wasn't he "blowing things out of perspective," as the girls put it? Why must he keep _noticing_ things and why must things keep _affecting_ him?

He must be letting his imagination get the best of him. Two weeks with these girls must have "done a number" on him, really messed with his head. Because, after all, if he was a little better in the head, he'd not be conjuring up ridiculous things like that pleasant (and terrifying) twitchy feeling he had around her or the way it felt like he had a soft fizzing all over his skin, like on his arm where he still felt that every-nerve-on-end touch when her arm had brushed his back in the hall.

The three pups snuffled around on the ground, but Elladan did not want to wait around on them to explore every curious thing. Occasionally, one of them pulled at their leashes, but he just pulled right back, and he let Raina deal with Ari. He didn't know how that was going, because he was kind of ignoring her, but he felt her presence still keeping up with him, so he figured she was handling things just fine.

When they reached the pen, he breathed a sigh of relief. Once the animals were safely sequestered within, he could hurry back the way they had come and be rid of her presence. Everyone could tell stories in the Hall of Fire; his door had a lock, and he was going to use it.

But, if he had learned anything at all in his many years, it was that things do not go as planned…and he really should have paid more attention.

He had just put James and Tyndel into the pen and had turned back, to the last remaining warg, the annoying one. (_Much like his owner,_ he thought darkly with grim humour, as he was still quite put out with the redhead for her teasing and making his complex worse.) He had turned back, looked at the warg, and for a moment he and the animal sized each other up.

Then Ari bolted, jerking the girl's arm and yanking the lead right out of her hand. She gave a start, drawing her hand to herself and clasping it tightly in her other. She looked at her hand and grimaced quickly.

As much as he'd been wanting to avoid getting near her, it was obvious the animal's flight had somehow managed to hurt her, and he couldn't ignore that. Worried and healer's instincts on overdrive, he hurriedly closed the distance between them, quickly taking her hand.

Valar, the shock. Like earlier, it seemed to sharply zap his heart, as though once again he had been struck by lightning.

She startled at his sudden grasp and quickly tugged her hand from his own.

Elladan realised, belatedly, that it had been rather rude and _very_ forward of him to take her hand like that. Rather uncomfortable, he cleared his throat. "Are you alright?" he asked stiffly.

Still examining her hand, she said quietly, "I will be."

"Let me see."

She glanced up at him, then hesitantly held out her hand to let him take again.

Somehow, in his flight, Ari had torn the nail on the girl's middle finger, and blood was beginning to pool. It was not a serious injury by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a nasty bother all the same.

He frowned. "Since it didn't tear the nail all the way off," he began, assessing out loud for the girl's benefit, "we'll trim it back and bandage it, to prevent it from catching on something and tearing more."

She nodded, still eyeing her hand, too. She was quiet for a moment, as if pondering a question, then decided to ask it anyway, "Will it…interfere with my playing?"

"Playing?" he questioned, glancing up at her.

"Oh. Guitar."

"Guh-tar?" His brows furrowed, but he did not recognise the word and he did not know what in all of Arda she could possibly mean.

"My instrument." She shrugged. "Er…stringed instrument. I'd rather not lose my calluses."

Well, now that she mentioned it, he did see the thin line of calluses on the tips of her fingers. And even though she _hadn't_ mentioned it, he was certainly noticing how _soft_ her hands were…no. What was he _thinking_? Apparently he wasn't. But he didn't want to drop her hand, because, as already said, her skin was very soft and he…no. Elo, where was his head? In the clouds? In a love-struck stup—oh Elo, _no_. He did not just think that, did he? Uhhuh. No way. No, no.


	13. Logic is for Logic and Illogic

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Logic is For Logic, and Illogic is For Tira

"Oh, hello, Ro!" Tira plopped down unexpectedly into the seat beside him and he gave a slight startle, as his thoughts had been elsewhere and he was not prepared for the girl to suddenly be so close to him.

He swallowed a little nervously and managed a smile. "Hello."

"Long time no see, right? Like, seriously. I do not get your father's problem." Tira stated bluntly.

Elrohir blinked at her for a moment, then said slowly, "Well, Ada worries about so many things. Who can really know?" He hedged the question, because he did not want to answer it in any way. Not at all. Not that one.

Tira eyed him dubiously and he wondered if she saw right through his ploy. "Right, Ro. Ada can go stuff a turkey. I'm not a worry."

"Stuff…a turkey?" He asked, frowning. Where did the girl get her notions? No, really? He was quite fascinated. She intrigued him and he genuinely wanted to know, but he didn't know how to ask.

"Yeah, you know. Stuffing a turkey. Not that hard to get, Ro. I've done it lots of times. Every self-respecting baker should know how to do so, after all."

"You are a baker?" Elrohir latched on to the question, for a chance to get to know the girl more.

"Yes, yes, indeed. Although baking and turkeys don't really have much in common, except they both use an oven. But, you know, it's okay. I'll forgive the oversight."

He sat back, frowning slightly. Oversight? Where had the oversight been on his part? He scrambled to re-evaluate his actions and words, trying to figure it out.

"But I don't want to talk about any of that stuff." Tira pulled a face. "For once, your daddy's not around being overbearing. Oooh!" Her face lit up. "Why don't we take advantage of that?"

His heart skipped a beat, torn between strange excitement and an apprehension he did not want to think about.

"Let's runaway to some private place to talk. They can tell stories. I can't hear any embarrassing ones about your brother, therefore I don't want to listen. I do not like being thwarted, after all." She frowned at JRH then shrugged. "Oh well."

Being alone with her…it was everything he wanted and everything he feared. And his fear was winning out over his desire to be near her, to be alone with her. "We'd better not. Ada…" he started, then faltered at the look she turned on him.

"Ada'll what? Ground us? I'd like to see him try!" Then she paused, frowning and tapping a finger against her chin in a way he found adorable. "Well, so he could ground _you_. But he can't ground _me_. I'm not _his_ child."

This, he reasoned, was very true.

"But then again," Tira continued, without waiting for him to reply. "I don't want to get you in trouble, either. Sigh." She proceeded to do exactly that. "I suppose we can't. Pity. It's stuffy in here."

He was about to suggest she move away from the fire, but they were not _near_ the fire, so…no, he wouldn't think about that. And he dare not ask her about that, so what popped out instead was, "You do not have a fever, do you?"

She looked at him like he was crazy. "No. So don't give me any tea. I am quite fine, thank you."

Elrohir reasoned that was a good thing, then. Still, he couldn't resist, "You know, it's not so bad. The tea."

Tira snorted. "Can't pull that over on me, Ro. I've had some of it. I know better."

"I don't know, your friend, Lin—"

"Her judgment is not to be trusted, Ro. Come on."

He grinned at her, and after a moment, the smile that had been threatening at her lips won. Elo, he loved her smile. It made him all warm inside; it tickled and tingled, and he loved the feeling.

They were quiet for a few moments, listening to the chatter from the others, the girls trying to drag stories out of his friends, and his friends being less than cooperative with her friends. It was rather amusing to watch, from the outside.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask her a question, she suddenly said, "Well, well. Would you look at that?" She glanced at her wrist, then looked up at him. "Where's your brother with my sister, eh?"

"Your sister?" He queried, confused. "I didn't know you had a sister." He thought back to his conversation with JLyH, but there had been no mention of a sister.

"Raina, Ro. Raina. I only keep teasing your brother all the time about her. How could you not notice?" He shrugged at her, but she just grinned. "They should've been back by now. I do hope your brother is being _good_."

"Really, now." He eyed her. "What do you think he'd do?"

"Well I'm sure I don't _know_, Ro." She answered falsely. "I just told him to keep his hands to himself, and he really should. I don't care that Raina is quite the pretty lady."

Feeling indignant for his brother, he shot her a scandalized look. "My brother would be nothing but chivalrous."

Tira shrugged. "All I'm saying is she's pretty, I get it. And they aren't back yet. And he treats her weird."

Elrohir decided it wise not to mention his suspicion about Elladan liking Raina. Not with Tira speaking this way against his brother. "Elladan would not…" he scrambled for the proper word and finally just settled on what she must be thinking, "touch a woman in any untoward fashion."

Before Tira could reply, the door flung open and an energetic warg with a penchant for disobedience came bounding in.

"Ari!" Tira jumped up. Putting her good hand on her hip, she grumbled, "Well, how do you like that? Let's my pet run off while he's all _distracted_."

Elrohir came to his feet, too. "Tira, he wouldn't—" he started, still trying to defend his brother's honour.

"Oh come on then, Ro. Let's just go see for ourselves, and then it'll be settled." Tira announced, but he could see a traitorous little smile playing about her mouth.

Had she not meant any of the insinuations against his brother's integrity? Had it been only banter, and nothing more? He didn't, after all, like her attacking his twin's character like that. He knew Elladan would never, _never_, touch a woman like that outside of marriage.

"Fine." He answered, still trying to figure out what kind of game she was on about. "Let's do that. But Elladan wouldn't—"

"Do anything outside of marriage, I know." Tira answered. "But she's too young for that, too. No matter how much he'd want to."

And that one made him choke back a laugh. "So, what, you think he likes her?" He laughed, but inwardly, he wanted a second opinion. He, after all, had had less of a chance to observe the interaction between the two, to observe how his _brother_ interacted with the girl.

"No, I think he loves her, but that's neither here nor there."

He stared at her, trying to determine if she was serious or not. Elladan, in love? His brother had just _met_ the girl. How could he love her already? Then again, Elladan had _run away_ from the girl, and Elladan ran away from nothing but his feelings. Was it really that, though? He'd sensed some major shift, some disturbance, in his brother earlier, but he just…he couldn't see it happening, not that already.

Elladan hadn't healed yet, after all. He was love-shy. His brother had not said the words directly, but Elrohir knew Elladan would all but swear he'd never fall in love again.

Then again, hadn't he still yet to heal? Hadn't he only just met Tira, and he'd felt that spark, that feeling of something _different_, that feeling of _something there_? He had…even if he hadn't quite woken himself up to that fact yet.

In his heart, she was his, yes. But he had not wanted to admit that from the moment he saw her, he'd been indelibly attached, taken. He'd been in love.

And it wasn't _logical_…but then again, neither was she. It didn't make sense, but did love have to make sense? Wasn't love just…love? Could it be explained?

He couldn't focus on all that, because he found himself suddenly longing to hear her voice, so as they walked down the hall, he thought up questions to ask her about herself.

"Tira…" he began uncertainly.

She glanced at him. "Yes, Ro?"

"Where did you acquire your skill with herbs?" There, that seemed an appropriate question; personal, but not _too_ personal.

Tira laughed, a light pretty laugh that made him want to laugh as well. "I didn't spend a lot of time at home…but I was always at my friends' house, and their mother is very into natural remedies. She taught me everything." After a pause, she added, "She is what we call a Naturopathic doctor. Has the training and everything."

"A…nature…"

"Opathic, Ro. Naturopathic. It is drug-free medicine, so no penicillin, vicodin, other things like that."

He stared at her, trying not to show his confusion. Ada was a healer, had taught him quite a bit…but what was _penicillin_ and _vicodin_?

"You know what? Don't stress yourself over it, Ro." Her voice broke through his thoughts. "They're not drugs you would know. Indeed, they're quite different kinds of drugs than any you would know."

He nodded and, thinking he understood, he said, "And you do not use them." After all, she said her teacher did not use them, right?

"What? Ah, heck no!" Tira exclaimed. "I'm for complementary medicine; that is, blending the use of drugs and natural remedies. After all," she scowled at her bandaged arm, "There is nothing better for broken bones than a good dose of vicodin to make it all go away."

Ro's eyes widened. There was a pill that could make broken bones just go away?

Feeling hopelessly lost and in no small amount of disbelief, he managed to give her a nod as he tried to figure that one out. If nothing else, he figured he could assume from what she said that she was in pain, but before he could ask if she was, she continued, "Speaking of, I could totally use some vicodin now. Hmmm…I guess the closest you can come to that is willow bark? How unexciting."

"I am sorry our medicines are not adequate for you." He finally said, not really sure what he'd gotten himself into or even really sure how to take what she had said. "But if you change your mind, you can have some."

Tira shrugged, eyeing him. She wondered if maybe she'd offended him. "Maybe in a little bit, Ro." She offered, because she hadn't meant to ruffle any feelings and she could really stand for some kind of pain-meds. Running into Raina earlier and bumping her arm into her friend hadn't agreed so very much with the injury.

Which reminded her of where they were going in the first place and why they had left the Hall of Fire and the stories behind. She grinned. "But first, let's go spy on your brother."

"I'm telling you, Tira, he won't—" he started to, once again, defend his twin.

"Do anything, I know. You and him both say so." Tira answered. "But I still—AHA!" she exclaimed in a quiet shout, as though to make sure only he heard it. "Well, Ro, how do you like _them_ apples?"

She pointed and he followed her gaze.

There they were, his brother and that mysterious girl. Standing close, holding hands. He frowned, as he knew the way Tira had taken this; to be honest, though, he didn't know what to think of it. When he focused inward and concentrated on his twin, all he could make out was a swirling jumble of emotions; confusion, excitement, terror, distraction. And he suspected that if this was what he was getting from Elladan, then Elladan himself wasn't sure what to think, that _his_ mind was in an addled mess.

Even as they stood there and he tried to formulate some kind of answer to Tira's insinuation, his jaw dropped when Elladan let go of the girl's hand only to shrug out of his jacket and throw it around the girl's shoulders. And was that just the cool air or was she blushing?

Of course, Tira knew that very likely nothing had or was happening between her friend and the elf, but she enjoyed teasing both Ro and Dan so much, she couldn't pass up the opportunity. "Didn't I _tell_ him!" she grumbled loud enough for the younger twin to hear her.

Elrohir didn't bother to reply. He eyed the two with an uneasy reaction to the feeling sinking into his heart. There was something…well, _something_ about seeing the two of them, and it very suddenly made him antsy. He had the sudden urge to run over there, grab his brother and shake him thoroughly, and _demand_ that his twin tell him _what_ in all of Arda he was thinking or _thought_ he was doing!

After all, it was one thing to tease his brother…but any prospect of it being real terrified him.

When Tira made as if to run over and confront the two, he grabbed her good arm and checked her forward movement. "Wait." He said, wanting to see what they would do, wanting to know what his brother would do as long as Elladan thought they were alone…wanting to know what it was he sensed in his brother and what that _something_ was that kept pressing at him.

"But Ro, I want to know what he _thinks_ he is doing." Tira protested, putting a hand on her hip. In reality, all she wanted was to go over there and make it awkward for Elladan, because making the often unflappable older twin flustered was such good fun.

_So do I, _Elrohir thought, but did not otherwise reply. He worried his bottom lip and watched as Elladan took the girl's hand again. He couldn't place it -or didn't want to- but there was that _something_ again that struck him about seeing them holding hands, even if it was an innocent one here.

Suddenly, he felt a change in Elladan, and he sucked in a sharp breath, quickly releasing Tira. "Go." He urged, but he worried it was too late, because even as Tira took her opportunity, Elladan's head came up and he turned to meet Elrohir's spying eyes.

Elrohir saw within the depths of his twin's eyes both elation and fear, but only for a split second before the look turned to one of irritation at the grinning Tira making a beeline for him and the girl. Elrohir briefly wondered if he'd done right by letting Tira go, and it only took that second of hesitation before he went after her, trying to make it seem like he was merely curious instead of trying to stop her.

As she got closer, Tira gauged what would be the best thing to say first, and her quick eyes caught the very slight presence of blood on her friend's hand. Her even quicker mind was flying through the many possible replies to this.

"Tsk tsk, Elladan, now didn't I tell you to take care of her? She's a fragile human, you know. Cha, letting her get hurt. No, no, don't deny it. I can see the evidence with my own two eyes."

"Tira," Raina said, her face red with embarrassment, "it was Ari, not Dan."

"Yes, well, didn't I tell you to be careful with him? He is a wild animal you know." Tira immediately changed tack. "Never can be too careful. As for you, you still should have taken better care of her. And you call yourself a healer. Whatever."

Elladan's eyes glittered with irritation and amusement as he silently measured the slight girl up. Taking a calming breath, he responded.

"I am a healer though Ada is infinitely better. It happened so fast, I could not stop the wretched creature from pulling that leash. Not to mention, I have not had the chance to do anything but look at the wound, let alone care for it. Anything else you wish to complain about?"

"Well, while you're asking, yes. Why is it that you have not invented running water? Do you know how tiresome carrying buckets is? Also, is willow bark seriously the strongest pain medicine you can come up with? I say, next time the cook finds mouldy bread, do an experiment with it and create penicillin." Tira took a deep breath, only just beginning. "And really, must you always wear such dull colours? Ever hear of plant-based dyes? Dude, red is the new black. Or something."

"Tira? Is everything alright over here?" Elrohir tried to casually amble up, failing miserably at his attempt to make it all seem unimportant.

"Alright? Alright! No, everything is not alright!"

Ro was slightly taken aback at Tira's outburst. She was grinning away, but her tone indicated ire, and he was extremely confused by the conflicting two.

"What is penicillin?" Dan picked the one thing he didn't understand from her rant.

"All naturally made penicillin is mouldy bread, but not all mouldy bread is penicillin." Tira answered unhelpfully. She didn't particularly care if it was true or not, just that it was confusing.

Turning to Ro, she addressed his question, but did so in Sindarin. "My arm hurts, and I have no _vicodin_. It's cold, I'm cold, she's cold, and your brother is making a move on my sister! By the way you need to get some brighter colours in your wardrobe too."

Raina just kept looking between her friend and whichever twin she was talking to at the given moment. When Tira started babbling in Elvish, Raina became even more confused, picking up only a handful of words, like _my_, _I_, _vicodin_ and _sister_.

"What _are_ you talking about?" Elladan asked, exasperated.

"What are _you_ talking about?" Tira replied with her own question.

"Can someone fill me in…in English?" Raina piped up.

"Oh, yes hun, sorry. I was just telling them my arm hurt and we were cold." Tira fibbed. No need to have Raina upset at her for goading Elladan.

"What is 'making a move'?" Elrohir asked.

"Shimmy shimmy cocoa puff, shimmy shimmy pow!" Tira answered in her frustrating way. "That is making a move."

The elves stared at her as she busted out into a hip-shaking rhythm.

"_Cassandra_." Raina sighed, knowing using her friend's proper name would make her settle down, or at least turn her attention away from the elves.

"_Keliann_." Tira retorted. "What? I was just _making a move_, sort of like Elladan was doing to you."

Raina narrowed her eyes at Tira's _innocent_ smile.

"Keliann? That is a pretty name." Elladan mistakenly said before Tira was sufficiently out of range.

Drawing herself to her full five feet, Tira shook a finger at Elladan. "Oh no you don't dude, she's far too young to be getting such compliments like that from you."

"He likes my _name_, _Cassie_." Raina rolled her eyes. "It's not like he wants to _marry_ me."

"What?" Elladan pulled his hand away from where he'd forgotten it still grasped Raina's, his fingers accidentally brushing against the broken nail.

"Ow!" Raina hissed and was about to suck on the offended digit when Tira grabbed it.

"Tsk, Elladan, how could you let this go untreated? What if her finger got infected. Bah, healer my foot!"

Poor Elrohir was very lost at this point, having been unable to keep up with the constant shift in topics. With a deep sigh he reached out and took Tira by the elbows, pulling her away from the other two.

"How about we go to the infirmary and take care of that nail. You can visit with JLyH and tell her all about the meeting while I deal with this." He offered.

Tira knowing very well this was his way of trying to take control, relented only because she was already imagining the things she could tell JLyH.

"Fine," Tira sighed as if this was putting her terribly out of her way. "I suppose someone needs to bring JLyH up to speed, and since you won't do it that leaves the most responsible of us to the task."

Elladan's eyebrows both shot up, but before he could speak, Tira had grabbed Elrohir's hand and was hauling him along behind her. With a shrug, Raina hid her smile and followed, leaving Elladan by himself.

Not wanting to be left behind, he quickly followed. "Did my ears deceive me, or did she actually say she was responsible?"

Raina, even though she was a bit put out by Tira's teasing, smiled at the elf. "Actually, yes, she can be responsible when she wants to be. You haven't seen the business-minded side of her yet."

"I am not sure I want to." He replied.

Elrohir, on the other hand, was more focused on the fact that Raina kept calling Tira _Cassie_. He knew it was her name in her language, but since everyone else called her Tira, he was curious.

"Why does she call you _Cassie_?" He asked, trying again to be casual.

"Why does everyone call you Elrohir?" Tira responded. "It is your name, isn't it?"

"Well, yes." Elrohir said, confused.

"Thus, there is why she calls me _Cassie_."

He sighed. "That is not what I meant."

"Well, _really_. One should always say what they mean and mean what they say. If that's not the answer you were looking for then why did you ask it?"

"Do you do this to everyone?"

"No, only people who make it easy. Darn, did I give away a trade secret? Silly me." Tira laughed. "To answer your question, Raina calls me Cassie because that is my real name. I changed it to Tira while I was going to college…er, advanced schooling. The name Tira is an alias."

"Alias for what?"

"You wouldn't understand." Tira shook her head. "Now, come on. I have lots to go tell JLyH about and you need to tend to Raina's finger. Can't have her getting sick and all, no penicillin."

Elrohir sighed and followed the girl on her warpath towards the infirmary, though he knew the way like the back of his hand. He wished he had taken her up on her offer to go find some place for a one on one talk, but it was too late for that now. After what he had seen outside, he was ever more curious about her and about her friend. Elladan's hand on his back kept him going past JLyH's sick-room when Tira veered off, though he did give one quick, longing glance into the room to see Tira clasping her hands together theatrically.

JLyH looked startled as Tira came barrelling into the room, all drama and flash. "What's going on?" She asked.

"Oh, J, it's so terrible! Elladan practically confessed he wants to _marry_ Raina. This is bad. Now, if Ro had said it, to me not her of course, that would be different. But really, I think he only said it cause he feels bad for hurting Raina. Practically ripped her hand off, I tell you! Blood everywhere."

"Ripped her hand off?" JLyH blinked a few times.

"Well, not her _hand_ per se, but it did look painful. And it wasn't really Dan. It was Aragorn. I mean, the warg Aragorn, you know, the third, not the second. Wow, you know, it is _so_ much less _exciting_ when you make me say it that way."

"Aragorn...the warg...ripped Raina's hand off?" JLyH was still trying to catch up.

"Not really, just a fingernail. But Elladan did practically confess his desire to marry the girl. Well, maybe not in so many words. But I can tell these things. I am the awesome O Blue One, after all. Oh, yes, and Elrond wants you to know that we're all getting schedules to keep us out of trouble."

JLyH shook her head. That last dose of tea must have been _strong_. She'd have to ask Elrohir what he'd done to it.

"So, let me get this straight; Ari, the warg not the ranger, ripped one of Raina's fingernails. Elladan likes Raina? And we're getting schedules?"

"Well, when you put it that way it is so blah. Yes."

"I guess Elrohir was right." JLyH mused, not thinking of who she was talking to.

Tira picked up on the name immediately. Eyes glowing with possible ideas, she leaned close to the girl. "What was Elrohir right about?"

"Oh, he said..." JLyH paused as her eyes turned back to meet Tira's far too interested gaze. "Something," she finished lamely, deciding it might be best _not_ to say what Ro had said.

"Did he? Ro says lots of things. But a _something_, eh? I want to hear this _something_. Those are special ones."

"No," JLyH quickly shook her head. "He...uh...it was nothing important." She tried to deflect her friend's interest.

"Oh, okay. Then you can tell me."

"Tira."

"J. L. Y. H." Tira shot back.

Amused, JLyH shook her head, a smile twitching at her lips. "Oh, fine. Must you really know?"

"Yes, I must."

"Oh just that Ro…likes you." JLyH opted to say instead.

Tira eyed her. "Yes, and?"

"And he really likes you."

The redhead sat back, scowling with disgust. "Yeah, I knew that."

"Oh, well. I guess I was useless then." JLyH answered facetiously.

"I'll get it out of you eventually, J. I will. I am the awesome O Blue One. Since Elrond's pronouncement was so humdrum and boring, and Ro talks about so much more awesome things than that…I would know, I just talked with him, and he is my elf…then what Ro said must have been about Dan and Raina. Come clean, JLyH. What was it?"

JLyH sighed. She should have known Tira would not be put off by that. "Maybe it's a secret." She said.

"I like secrets. Tell me."

"Hm." JLyH scrambled for something, anything to distract Tira. She didn't really know why she was refusing to tell the redhead what Ro had said, she just was.

"You do know I will find out eventually. I know everything. Well, except for what you're hiding, I obviously don't know that. But I will."

That's what JLyH was afraid of.


	14. We Gots Us Some Mad Skillz

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

We Gots Us Some Mad Skillz

Elrond sat at his desk writing names on pieces of paper and blocking out areas to be filled in after they had discussed training, electives, and personal time. As he wrote, Glorfindel muttered under his breath and Gandalf avidly watched the Lord of Imladris stab with his pen, breaking the nib several times, on one particular paper.

"That Tirananniel…not sure what to make of her." He ventured to say, knowing he was wading into deep waters.

"How about barbeque?" Glorfindel harrumphed into a glass of wine. He was still extremely put out about the girls in the first place, and now being told he was going to be in charge of _training_ them? He'd rather fight a balrog any day.

"Behave, Glorfindel, or I'll assign her to you specifically." Elrond answered as he once more broke a nib and had to go digging for a knife to shave it down once more. At this rate, the feather was trash and he ought to just get a new one, he mused.

"You would not dare." Glorfindel sat up straight in alarm.

"I would. And if you can't find someone suitable to train her _properly_ with a sword and bow, you will be it."

"And your son. Might be a bit of difficulty there." Gandalf continued, as if neither had spoken.

"When have they not been difficult? Wretched twins." Glorfindel swallowed the last of his wine in one big gulp, for once wishing he could actually become inebriated on the stuff.

"That reminds me, Glorfindel," Elrond looked up. "You are _not_ to assign _that_ _girl_ with Elrohir. I want them as far away from each other as possible."

"I agree. Wouldn't let her near him with a ten-metre pole. Far too much trouble brewing there." Glorfindel nodded rapidly, as if to assure Elrond of his agreement. "Too much trouble…what is going on with that boy anyway?"

"He fancies himself in love, of course." Elrond sighed.

Gandalf watched the interplay and made mental notes. He already knew the two girls, Raina and Tira, would play an important role in the twins' lives. Not only did the twins' reactions cement that notion, but those of the elder elves, too. He was still a little puzzled about the reason for the myriad others to be there, but was sure something would make itself known soon. Perhaps turning an eye to the Woodland elves would prove beneficial?

Elrond cleared his throat. "Glorfindel, I am ready to start seeing them, one at a time. I don't care who first."

"Alright then." Glorfindel nodded, but didn't move. "Oh, you want me to go find one of them?"

"Please." Elrond couldn't keep all of the amusement out of his voice.

As Glorfindel trudged unhappily out of the study to go find "one of them annoyances," Gandalf pulled a chair closer.

"What is your plan?"

"Splitting them into manageable groups for one." Elrond answered. "Three or four of them per group. They will rotate around on a weekly schedule determined after I have spoken with each one and assigned instructors."

"What sorts of things do you plan to schedule?" Gandalf, despite his twinkling, grandfatherly eyes, was serious. He wanted to know the Elf Lord's plan, as it might just make all the difference to the reason why the others were here.

"Weaponry, such as sword and archery. Perhaps some basic tracking and hunting, cooking, herb lore. I will better know what to assign after speaking with them."

"You cannot keep them apart forever."

"Do you mean Elrohir and that girl?"

"Yes and no."

"Do not play wizardly word games with me, old friend. My temper is thin this past fortnight."

"I call it as I see it." Gandalf gave a slight shrug.

Glorfindel paused outside the hall and took a deep breath. This was madness. Pure and utter madness. What were the Valar thinking? As calm as he could achieve considering the war zone he was about to enter, he pushed open the door.

"Right now, front and centre."

"Um, who?" Eltara asked.

"Anyone, I do not care. Lord Elrond wishes to begin interviews."

"Oh, well, I'll go then." JRH stood up and walked over to Glorfindel.

"Good. Someone else be ready when she returns." He strode off, not even waiting for the girl to catch up.

"Do you know what he is going to ask?" JRH attempted conversation as she hurried after the elf.

"For the most part."

"Well, ok. What is he going to ask?"

"Questions."

JRH made a face at Glorfindel's back. _Obviously_, she mouthed. "What sorts of questions?"

"Pertinent ones."

Resisting a sigh and roll of her eyes, she followed Glorfindel into a large, airy study lined with shelves. Gandalf smiled warmly at her, and Elrond waved towards a chair.

"Have a seat."

JRH complied, but could not resist looking around the room, taking in the famous study. So this was where Elrond spent so much of his time? This was where he would tell Gandalf that men were weak? This was where…well, so much must have happened here, huh? She could just imagine wee Estel running around or, even, a much longer time ago, the twins coming to see their father. She grinned at the thought of the three of them as mere children, knee-high to grasshoppers and full of life.

But she hadn't been summoned here to gawk and be sentimental. She shook herself from her thoughts and focused back on Elrond, who, surprisingly, looked a bit amused.

"Finished?" he questioned.

She had the good grace to send him an apologetic, sheepish look. "Sorry," she mumbled, then cleared her throat. "I'm ready to answer…_pertinent_ questions now."

Glorfindel rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. Were not a one of them respectful, well-behaved ladies? What kind of parents had these children had?

"Yes, well." Elrond cleared his throat and glanced at his paper. "Your name, child."

"JRH, sir." She answered dutifully, glancing at the papers in front of the Lord of Rivendell, though she could not see what was on them.

"Thank you," Elrond replied, finding the right paper. "The injured one, she is your…"

"Twin sister."

"Of course, of course." Elrond said distractedly. "Her name is…"

"JLyH." JRH stared at the elf-lord as he wrote down her answers.

After a moment, he glanced up and acknowledged her once more. "Yes, thank you. Now, as you know, we are assembling schedules for everyone. You will all be split into four groups of three, each according to task and time of day."

She nodded, indicating she understood. "If I might make a suggestion, my lord?"

Elrond eyed her silently, deliberating. Finally, he said, "Very well."

JRH took a deep breath. "It would probably be best if you did not put certain people together, ever." She paused, then quickly tacked on, "And I am not talking Tira and Elrohir, but among us girls, that is."

Gandalf seemed amused at this last, but Elrond studiously ignored the soft chuckling and murmuring coming from the old wizard. The elf-lord sat back and pondered what JRH had said. "And who do you refer to?"

"Well, for starters, never, _never_, put Tira and Eltara in the same group. Unless you want absolute mayhem. Tira is…well, Tira. As you know. And Eltara is unpredictable, as well; she loves confusing people and will take any chance, any way, to create a little havoc. Also, I'm not sure Londessa should ever lumped with the two of them, either…" JRH hid a grimace, feeling she may be betraying her friends by spilling like this, but she also knew she did not want to inconvenience these wonderful people anymore than had already been done.

Elrond nodded, relieved to have had an ally here, at least for now. No one could keep that redhead in line, but having some information about how to set up the schedules to avoid as much mayhem as possible was welcome. "Thank you. I will bear that in mind. Now, child, I have a few ideas as to what to fill your time with here. Specifics, of course, will depend on the information I am given from each of you."

JRH acknowledged this and then ventured another question, "So, what kinds of things do you have in mind?"

"Herb lore, weaponry, basic tracking, hunting—as I said, some of this will be subject to you. Do you have any specific interests or skills we can incorporate?"

"Well, erm." JRH sat back, thinking that one over. Truthfully, she'd be excited to learn anything the elves taught her, because anything would be too good to be true. "Skills…I know basic hand-to-hand combat, as I'm on the police force—that's the law enforcement, where we come from."

"I see. And any interests?" Elrond wrote something down.

JRH bit at her lip. Interests? Everything, of course. But to narrow it down? That was difficult. "Well, maybe some language. I mean…Sindarin is such a pretty language."

Elrond made a few more notes on the paper before him. He found it interesting that the girl wanted to learn the language when they understood each other well enough with the odd brand of Common they spoke, but perhaps it wouldn't hurt for them to learn some basic phrases. After all, there was the random chance they might run into one of those elves Elrond knew held a snobbish attitude to the use of Common among the elven race.

"Thank you…JRH. Please send someone else in."

"Um, sure. And…thank you, Lord Elrond…for, well, everything." JRH smiled uncertainly before fleeing his presence.

She scurried back to the hall, hoping she wouldn't get lost, and sighed in relief when she heard her friends laughter. Walking in normally, her brief panic only a memory, she went over to the group and smiled.

"Well, anyone up for it? It's painless, I promise."

"Oh, why not?" Kel shrugged.

JRH gave her instructions on how to get there, best as she remembered, and settled back into the group. Kel, meanwhile, hesitantly went to find her way. She was fairly confident she remembered it from before, and was pleased when she found she was right. Giving a light knock, she entered at Elrond's reply.

"Ah, yes. Kel, correct?" Elrond gave her a very brief once-over. He recalled her as being rather level headed, but sometimes nervous.

"Yes sir." She perched on the edge of a chair, trying to ignore the muttering Glorfindel. He seemed to be in a rather bad mood and was really casting a cloud over the whole room.

"Did the other one…JRH," Elrond glanced at his paper, "say anything about what I wanted?"

"No sir." Kel replied.

"Of course." He sighed. "I plan on such activities and training in weaponry, herb-lore, tracking and hunting. A lot of what ends up being assigned will be based on what information I receive from you and your comrades. You'll be split into four groups of three, based on activity. Your activities will vary week to week."

"Oh, wow." Kel smiled. That sounded absolutely grand, and she was a bit excited.

"That said, do you have any skills and interests of note?"

"Well, archery. I am…that is, I have been in several competitions back home for archery. Your bows are only a little different, I'm pretty sure with a little instruction I can pick it up quick." Kel took a deep breath. "And I've always been interested in rangering."

Elrond raised a brow. "You mean activities such as tracking?"

"Yes. You remember what I told you about our world? Well, Aragorn has always been, I guess you could say my hero. Since reading about him, I've always wanted to be a ranger."

"I see." Elrond made several notes, and Kel had to admit to herself she was curious what he was writing. He looked back up to her. "You may go now. Please, inform the others what I want and send another to me."

"Of course." Kel nodded. Totally unknowing of JRH's saying the same, she hesitated and then gave Elrond a sincere thank you for welcoming and helping them before leaving, much more sedately than JRH. She did hurry back to the hall, but more from excitement than panic.

When she got back, she quickly gave the others Elrond's requested rundown and then motioned towards the door. "He's ready for someone else."

"Ooh, me! Me!" Eltara excitedly jumped to her feet. "I'll go!"

Without waiting for anyone else to offer, she was out the door and skipping towards the study. This was bound to be good. What should she say? Skills and interests, Kel had said. Hmm…skills and interests…

She did have the presence of mind to knock first and wait for a reply. When she went in she made certain, though, to keep up the excitable skipping, a wide grin stretched over her face. Before sitting in the chair obviously meant for her, she tried to peek at the paperwork in front of Elrond, but was disappointed to find he had used tengwar, not the English alphabet. Then again, she reasoned, just because Common was close to English had no bearing on what form it was written in.

She casually gazed around the room, taking in the pouting Glorfindel and the grandfatherly Gandalf, the fireplace, the books. Oh, books…no, no, that's not what she was there for…

Elrond, watching her, realised this was one of those troublemakers, and if he wanted to get anything done, he'd have to take charge. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Oh, deary, you ought to get that taken care of. Can't be having sick elfies now, no we can't." Eltara turned wide, innocent eyes on the elf lord.

Elrond looked at her, confused. Eltara saw no reason to explain her comment, and instead moved on to the next subject in her repertoire. "And who designs your clothes? So stuffy, very overbearing. Of course, if you're trying to go for the whole stuffy, overbearing Elf Lord look, you've got it down. So, what do you want to talk about first?"

Elrond sighed. This was not going at all as planned. "Name?"

Eltara grinned. "That depends on which name you want. There's my real name and then there's my online persona. Either way, they both mean me. I suppose I'll give you my other name, though, as it really is the one most of them know me by. No need to confuse people. Much. Some confusion is necessary. Without confusion there is no fun."

Elrond waited, silent, one eyebrow raised. Did the girl ever _think_ about her words?

"Oh, yes, well, call me Eltara."

He jotted it down. What was it with these girls and their bastardized Elvish names? "Any skills you think will be helpful?"

"Skills….of course. I am so definitely _virtuoso musicale_."

"A what?" Elrond looked up, startled. These were not words he understood, which rattled him slightly, and sounded…almost dirty. Gandalf started chuckling at the reaction and Eltara shot him a pleased grin.

"I like music, particularly the piano." Eltara replied after a minute of debate on whether she should lead him on or not.

"Why then did you not just say so?" Glorfindel was heard to mutter.

"I did say so. Ain't at all my fault you can't speak Italian. Come to think of it, I can't speak Italian. All I know is various music words. My favourite is so definitely _a piacere_, which I am told means freedom within the piece, but Tira says means to taste. I just like how it sounds, personally."

"I…see." Elrond wrote down _music - piano_. He assumed this piano she spoke of was rather like that odd instrument Lindir had been playing around with, where small hammers struck taut strings to produce varying tones. He had mangled several harps in his process to find the perfect combination, but even Elrond had to admit that once he'd gotten the rhythm down it produced some beautiful music. "Any hobbies or interests?"

"Ooh, the list is long, my friend, very, very long. But I suppose to narrow it down to things you could teach me I would very much like to improve my cooking skills. They are inferior, though I have not starved myself yet. Have made myself sick, but that will happen when you don't fully cook chicken. Bad stuff, salmonella."

"Salmonella?" Elrond heard himself asking, and regretting it immediately. Why was he feeding this child's rambles with leading questions?

"Oh yes, salmonella. Bad stuff, that. Always fully cook your chicken and eggs, yes indeedy. And wash, wash, wash all the knives and forks and bowls and cutting boards raw chicken was on, cause it like totally spreads. Bacteria and stuff."

"Bacteria?"

"Bacteria…you know, little unseen germy things that make you sick. You're a healer, you should know this." Eltara tutted, even though she knew very well that the words they used now were not necessarily the same words used in this world, or in this time.

"Oh, you mean _foegún_." Elrond nodded with better understanding. "Yes, this is why we keep a clean house and an even cleaner infirmary. I boil all my instruments after each use."

"Oh, how nice. Is there anything else I can help you with? I am a veritable fount of information, although most of it I know nothing about."

"You can send in another one of your friends." Elrond replied.

"Oh of course, anything at all." Eltara jumped to her feet. "I'll get right on that."

She skipped out the door, then paused and stuck her head back in. "By the way, you're an awesome dude. Thanks for putting up with us."

When she arrived back at the hall, Tea went. Her visit had obviously been uneventful, as she was back rather quickly and sent Cal. After Cal came Londessa.

Nervously entering the study, Londessa perched carefully on the edge of her chair.

"Name?"

"Londessa, sir."

Elrond looked up sharply and gave her a long look. "Yes, you. I've heard a few things about you."

"Um…" Londessa bit her lip. Had that elf told on her? It had been _accidental_!

"Never mind that, hopefully these schedules will keep you occupied and out of trouble. Skills?"

"Oh, I…" the girl shifted around uncomfortably, trying to think that one through. "That depends on what you're asking."

Elrond sighed with restrained exasperation. "I am asking you what skills you possess."

"Well, yes, I get that." Londessa acknowledged. "But what _kind_ of skills? One would think you would need to be a bit more specific, my lord." Yes, when she was nervous or on edge, she got difficult. "See, I'm an excellent grocery shopper. I have mad skills with coupons and sales. I always get a deal. But I don't think that's what you _mean_, now is it?"

Elrond sat back and resisted the urge to rub his temples. Valar, and he had how many more of these girls to go? He heard Glorfindel softly cursing these girls' stubbornness and he found himself heartily agreeing.

"I think, child, that you know he is referring to skills which are applicable to this world, not your own." Gandalf gently remonstrated and Elrond shot him a grateful look for coming to his rescue.

"Oh, well. That. True." Londessa nodded. "Skills applicable to here…well…I like gardening. Does that count?"

Thankful just to have any kind of answer, Elrond jotted that down. "That works fine. Any specific area of skill with that?"

"I don't know."

"Interests?" He promptly moved on, quite ready to be over with all these interviews.

Londessa thought for a moment. "I like poetry."

"You write poetry." Elrond surmised.

"No, sir. I just like reading it."

He stopped for second, then continued writing. At least she was honest, he surmised. Finished with that note he gave her what he thought was a gentle smile. "Thank you, you may return. Please send another."

Londessa had frozen at the sight of the smile, but relaxed at his dismissal. "Thank you sir." She nodded and quickly left, glad that was over.

When she arrived back at the hall, Kim was prepared to take her place. The older girl calmly knocked and entered the study.

"Name?" Elrond said immediately. He really was ready for this to all be over.

"Kim, sir."

"Skills?"

"Horses and other animals." She answered.

Elrond smiled as he wrote this down. "Interests?"

"History. I'd love to learn anything you would care to have someone teach us."

Elrond smiled more. He liked this one, she was respectful and prompt.

"Thank you. You may go."

"Thank you, sir." She replied and left.

Lin came next, and was both nervous and excited to be going before _the_ Lord Elrond. She also suspected Lord Glorfindel and Gandalf were in there with him, which made it triply better. After knocking and receiving a firm admission, she cautiously entered, a smile on her lips.

"Hello sir. Can I just say this is…well, thank you. For everything."

Elrond was slightly taken aback, but hid it well, motioning to the chair. "Name?"

"Lindelas, but sometimes the others call me Lin."

Elrond wrote that down, again wondering what it was with all these weird want-to-be Elvish names. "And your skills?"

"Oh, I love archery!" Lin bubbled.

"Any other interests?"

"Anything outdoors, including tree climbing and tracking."

"Thank you. You may go. And Lin? Do not send anyone else at the moment. I will send someone to prepare a meal for you all and we shall resume later."

"Okay, sir." Lin smiled again, practically bubbling over with the effort to not hug someone in her happiness.

-0-

Elladan was in a mood, and Elrohir wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Oh, his brother was not _cold_ to the girl, but he seemed to want as little to do with her as possible, and all the younger twin could pick up from him was a constant sense of feeling ill-at-ease. Wrangling a proper answer from Elladan at this point may prove entirely futile at worst, but Elrohir was hoping he might be able to piece it all together at least.

First, though, there was the girl's hand to tend to, and it didn't really take the two of them to do it. So he stood back and observed, puzzling over everything, as Elladan courteously, but with a distinctly removed manner, took care of the minor problem and Raina remained entirely quiet.

In fact, Elrohir rather thought it was an uncomfortable silence.

Perhaps it was for the best, then, that the oh-so-dangerous injury (as Tira had kept insisting of it) was a quick fix and she could be dismissed. And he could corner Elladan about all this, finally.

"There you go," Elladan announced with a strained smile. "Just be careful."

Raina nodded. "Thanks," she said softly.

Elladan made a quiet noise of acknowledgement as he turned away.

She left then, inclining her head slightly at Elrohir as she passed, and the younger twin wondered if maybe she hadn't left a little too quickly. He frowned as he turned back to his brother, curious if the impression he was getting that Elladan made her uncomfortable had any meat to it.

Elladan was cleaning up the implements he had used and Elrohir decided to get right to the point. "Alright, Dan. What's going on?" He watched suspiciously as his brother give a slight start, his head snapping up and wide, innocent eyes focusing on him.

"Nothing."

Elrohir snorted. "Twaddle," he retorted and, ignoring the scowl Elladan shot his direction, he continued, "I would hardly call all of that nothing."

Rolling his eyes, Elladan demanded, "All of what?"

He could see his brother was going to be entirely too stubborn about this. "How you've been treating her, for one."

"I'm not treating her any special way!" the older twin defended sharply.

Defensive. Misinterpreting what he had said. And just _how_ Elladan had misinterpreted it. Elrohir made notes of these things. "I didn't say you _were_." Once more, he ignored the disgruntled look his brother shot him. "You weren't exactly _cordial_ with her just now. And in the Hall of Fire, don't think I didn't notice what was going on." He paused for half a second, taking in Elladan's increasingly irritated expression, but he decided to play the final card anyway. "You _ran away_ from her earlier. And you run away from nothing but your feelings."

"It's all _nothing_, Elrohir. Shut up." Elladan snapped as he abruptly turned away and slammed a cupboard shut as he angrily continued to put things away. "I wasn't running away from her. Or…or anything like that. That would imply there were any feelings to be running away from in the first place."

"Then what do you call it?" Elrohir asked sharply, put out to be on the receiving end of Elladan's anger. And quite irritated that his brother wasn't being _honest_ with him. He _knew_ he wasn't. "You think I can't sense what's going on inside of you? You get near her and you go all…weird." He put it this way since he wasn't quite sure _what_ it was he sensed from his twin.

"I do _not_," Elladan hissed, roughly shoving a small tin of dried chamomile away from him, clenching his hand into a fist on the counter.

Then the irony struck Elrohir and he only barely refrained from slapping his forehead. "Valar, Elladan, what are we doing, fighting over some _girl_ again."

Immediately, he wished he could take the harsh words back. He felt the pain that ripped through Elladan, saw the way his brother froze, except for the unclenching his fist. Elladan half-turned and glanced at him and the hurt in his eyes struck Elrohir deeply.

"El, I—" he started, horrified.

"Just don't," Elladan shook his head as he hoarsely cut him off. And without giving Elrohir a chance to continue, to finish, to apologise, _anything_, he roughly brushed past Elrohir and hurried from the room.

Elrohir dropped his head back and groaned in frustration, trying to figure out how this had degraded into an argument in the first place.


	15. Now Where Did He Get To This Time

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Now Where Did He Get To This Time?

Elrohir sighed heavily, feeling dejected and rather like a wretch for his hasty words. When he tried to reach out to his brother as means of a temporary apology until he could speak to him in person, though, he was sharply rebuffed, and the rejection also hurt. Unable to simply let the matter go, he knew he had to go _find_ Elladan, _right then_, and try to apologise.

His brother could be _so_ hard-headed, but Elrohir knew he had to at least _try_.

He winced as he considered the last time he and his brother had fought like this and what had come of it. While he could not really foresee a repeat of the incident and the things that had happened, the echoes of the fear and horror of it whispered through his heart and scared him…almost in the exact same way as seeing his brother and that girl…together.

Shaking these thoughts from his mind, unwilling to deal with them, he told himself he had other, _important_ things to focus on. The past was the past, and he shouldn't have brought it up.

Valar, what had he been thinking? Apparently, _nothing_. He'd been an absolute idiot.

Mentally berating and cursing himself, and calling himself all manner of names far worse than "idiot," he left the pantry and began to look for his brother. Yet, he knew, when Elladan wanted to get away from something, he didn't waste any time about it. His brother could be anywhere by now, because Elladan moved quickly on these kinds of things.

Frustrated with himself and feeling awful, he headed down the hall in search of his brother, but who he found instead was that _girl _who had started this mess…he sighed at the bitter thought. That wasn't fair of him. It was not her fault by any stretch of the imagination, and it was not right of him to pin their fight on her, even though she had been the subject of their fight…at first.

"Have you seen Elladan?" he asked her, trying to find out if he was even heading in the right direction.

"Yeah, he went that way," Raina waved a hand down the hall behind her.

"Thank you," he answered as politely as he could muster and hurried past.

"Um…Elrohir?" she asked hesitantly.

He paused and turned back, quirking a questioning brow.

"Are…you two…alright?"

In Raina's mind, she was not so certain of the climate she had found herself in. She had very little personal knowledge of the twins from actually knowing them, but she knew a lot about them from what she had read. If she didn't know better, though, she'd almost say Elladan hated her for no reason whatsoever except that she drew breath and had been around him a time or two that day. All she had done was offer to assist him with the wargs and he'd treated her like some kind of annoying tagger-on, though all she'd been trying to do was _help_ with the rowdy animals.

Now, Elladan had stormed off down the hall, dragging an angry aura along with him, and Elrohir had followed not so very far behind with an anxious look on his face and upset in his eyes. She thought she had a pretty good idea that the twins had fought, but over what, she, of course, couldn't be sure, as she had just left the twins and they hadn't seemed to be fighting then…unless, of course, Elladan's detached manner as he swiftly tended to her and Elrohir's silence had been because they were fighting.

She just couldn't place what or when. Maybe they'd been fighting all day, even before she'd arrived, and maybe the way Elladan had been treating her was just him taking it out on her. She knew enough about him to know that that _was_ how he handled his anger. He lashed out. But…he hadn't seemed to treat any of the other girls the way he'd been treating her, and she wasn't caught off guard in the least about him butting heads with Tira.

Honestly, Raina felt the two were a lot alike. More than likely, it had been an explosive combination from the start, and it just truly was not all that surprising.

Elrohir, of course, had no clue about the confusion in Raina, but he could see that the girl seemed to have an uncanny understanding or knowledge of him and his twin. Her question had been a very loaded one.

It hadn't simply been an inquiry as to whether or not they were alright, but also _are you two…fighting?_ and the shrewdness of the question therein caught him off guard. How could she know anything about their fights? He got the impression she just _knew_ things about them…like how they fought and how they both handled fighting with each other.

He knew these girls knew things about them (he still wanted to know about that one), but so far, none of them had indicated that kind of knowledge about him and Elladan. It just…it seemed another thing entirely.

"We're…we're fine," he told her gruffly before turning away and leaving it at that. He had enough on his plate finding and dealing with his brother; he didn't need to deal with girls who knew too much about them. That kind of thing had never ended well.

For that matter, neither had them fighting over a girl or him waiting too long to just apologise to his twin.

Elrohir continued down the hall with urgency in search of his wayward brother, figuring that Elladan had gone to his room to hide for awhile. He could hear Raina following him, and for a moment, he felt even more annoyed, but when he paused at the last door on his right, just before the stairs, she hurried past him and back to the lower level. This time, he noticed that she carried his brother's jacket in hand, which only served to remind him of the scene he had witnessed earlier that had so unsettled him.

Quickly, he rapped on the closed door. He received no response. Shaking his head and sighing heavily, he knocked once more then tried the knob, assuming that Elladan was just ignoring him. He found the door to be locked and he blew out sharply with exasperation.

"El?" he called, rapping on the door louder. "El! Come on! Open the door and let's _talk_ about this."

When there was once again no response, Elrohir pulled a small pin from his pocket with which he could pick locks; yes, he carried it with him everywhere (one just never really knew where or how it might come in handy…like now. Case in point). There was more than one way to skin a cat, after all.

It took him barely any time at all (there was no need to get into the exact number of times he had done this before, you know) and he had the lock undone and the door opened. One success down; now he had to confront his brother and make amends.

But…the room on the side of the door was _empty_. And cold. He knew that outside, there was a northerly wind beginning to pick up; it was, in fact, the chilly breeze and the swaying of the curtains caught in it that brought his gaze over to the balcony doors, which were suspiciously open.

"Come _on_, El," he muttered with exasperation as he stared at the open doors, knowing just what kind of stunt his brother had pulled. He'd been on the right track, but he'd gotten here too late.

Elladan had skipped off to Valar knew where, and as long as Elladan kept concealing himself and excluding his brother from his emotions, Elrohir didn't know where to find him.

As if to prove his point, when he reached out once more to his twin, his older brother sharply rebuffed him and refused to open up. Elrohir sighed and scrubbed at his face, wishing fruitlessly that he could go back and make the last several minutes completely disappear.

He knew full well that Elladan wasn't holding him off out of anger as much as truly he was refusing to let Elrohir get through because he was hurt. Elrohir didn't need to feel his brother's emotions _now_ to know it; he'd felt part of the hurt before Elladan closed himself off, caught a glimpse in those haunted steel greys before Elladan had left.

Valar, what was in his head that he'd be so stupid? If he hadn't been so stuck on _himself_ and his own uncertainty, his apprehension, he'd not have been so quick to lash out at his brother, either.

While he was brooding in his brother's room, Tira was leaving JLyH's lair in a mock huff. The girl was just infuriating, in her eyes, totally not even understanding how much more fun it was to have things told in an exciting way rather than a bland, factual one. Facts could be _so_ boring, really.

As she moved down the hall, she felt the cold breeze whoosh through, chilling her to the bone. Narrowing her eyes, she sought out the room it came from, only to stop suddenly, watching her elf as he stood in deep thought before the open balcony doors. The pain radiating off him made her just want to hug him. Well, that and she was cold and figured a hug from her favourite elf was just the ticket.

She had known right away that it was Elrohir. She just had. And he was her favourite elf out of all the possible elves in all of the possible universes (if Middle-earth was real, after all, other universes and dimensions had to be real too, right?), and he was upset. He needed someone to comfort him. (Ha, Dan wasn't around either, now was he? This meant two things to Tira: one, no older brother to comfort Ro; two, no older brother to be all goody-goody, spoilsport, daddy's boy.)

And, patience not being her strong suit, unless it was patience for a very particular reason, Tira stepped into the room.

"Hey, Ro, you alright?" she asked, though it was obvious to her eyes that he was _not_ alright.

Elrohir startled and turned at the question, caught off guard at so suddenly being addressed and brought from his self-hating thoughts. He found himself face to face with a worried looking Tira and felt quite out of sorts. He merely blinked blankly at her and opened and closed his mouth uselessly. What had she asked him? If he was alright. Why did she care?

Tira, to her credit, remained unruffled and in check. She eyed him closely, trying to determine his mental and emotional state. He _looked_ fine, but her Elrohir-radar was going a little crazy (what? It's true). He couldn't possibly be fine and she knew just what to do.

She snapped her fingers and smiled. "I know exactly what you need. You need _chocolate_. Chocolate fixes almost everything. Something to do with endorphins in the brain. Them be little happy brain chemicals. So, yes, you need chocolate. Not to mention, it's cold. So, come along, elfie mine, and close them doors so we can go find some chocolate."

Elrohir stared at the girl as she rambled on and on about chocolate. He frowned slightly, trying to place the word. Finally it came to him: a little brown powder that had been brought to them from the south quite some time ago, and when mixed with milk or water and some sugar made a most delicious hot drink.

He wasn't really paying much attention to what she was saying as much as how she was saying it. Her eyes lit up and a cute little smile played at her lips. Though she had her arms crossed over her chest, he could see in the way she angled herself that she was likely trying hard not to reach out and touch him. As much as he wanted it too, he knew if they touched that little lightning prickle would consume them, and he needed his mind to remain clear.

"I…I need to find Elladan." He finally spit out. Her look turned from unbridled joy to shrewd and calculating, and a cold spot grew in him as looks like that were scarily reminiscent of _her_.

"Then we shall go find him. I can only assume you said something about Raina, and he got all…ooh, I don't know, _Dan_ on you and ran away? What did you say? And was I right? Was it about Raina? I can help, you know. Find Dan, I mean. I can't help him in his problems, either he likes her or he doesn't, but that's all on him."

Elrohir tilted his head slightly, confused by the girl before him. Obviously, her calculating looks were not as…_dangerous_…as he feared. And she rambled. A lot. But despite the show of foolery, she was rather intelligent…and that was the dangerous part. He wondered, then, what her aim was.

"Stop looking at me like that, it's creepy. Are we going to find Dan or not?"

Elrohir narrowed his eyes. Why was she so insistent on finding his brother?

"What do you want from us?"

"Excuse me?" Tira shifted her weight, one foot slowly sliding forward as she automatically raised her hands into a protective stance. Something about him suddenly just screamed _danger_ to her, and it was an automatic reaction.

"You heard me. What do you want from us? You, in particular. That girl…Raina? And the others. What do you want? Why are you here?"

And why was she standing like that, like she was getting ready to kick him?

"I, personally, want you to stop looking at me like I'm a bad person, cause I'm not. Raina just wants to understand why your brother is being an ass. We don't know why we're here, or weren't you listening? As for what I really want?" Tira shook her head and relaxed. "I just want to be loved for who I am, not suspiciously regarded as someone I am not."

Elrohir watched her, noticing that she only moved when he did, and he realised he was acting in a confrontational, menacing way. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to relax so she would. He knew she wasn't after anything in particular…or at least, he hoped she wasn't. She was not, so far, anything at all like _her_, and he knew he'd been rather quick to judge without proof of intent.

She was still tense, though her body looked relaxed. He could tell by the set of her jaw, and the way she watched him, her clear sapphire eyes tracking every miniscule movement. He realised she felt threatened by him. He also realised he wanted to kiss her.

That was bad. Right? It was, certainly, not proper; but right now that didn't concern him. Right now he was just thrown by the overwhelming desire to just advance upon the slight girl and kiss her soundly, something he would never do to anyone not his wife. And this scared him.

He tried to push that feeling down, away. He couldn't…it wasn't right. But he wanted to, oh so badly. Hesitantly he took a step forward. She didn't move backwards, but she did watch him warily. He slowly, carefully, reached out his hand and ran his fingers through her loose hair, marvelling at its softness, and took another step closer. She looked up at him, wariness still in her eyes.

"What _are_ you doing?" She asked so quietly he almost missed it. Tira, of course, could tell what was going through his head at that moment. He wanted to kiss her, or something to that point, and as welcome as it would have been, this was not the time or place.

Coming to his senses he stepped back and crossed his arms, his face becoming a blank mask. "You should go back to your friends, I need to find my brother."

Her eyes narrowed. "I already told you I'd help you."

"I don't want or need your help." He said brusquely, looking away. It was a lie, a horrible lie, but he felt it necessary. If she didn't go away he would follow through, and nothing she said or did could stop him. She obviously knew some sort of self-protection, judging by her earlier stance, but he was stronger and had practiced hand-to-hand combat before even her great-great-great-grandparents had been born.

If he'd been looking her way he would have seen her eyes flash with anger. He also would have seen the hand come flying towards him, but he closed his eyes at just the wrong moment, though they flew open the next second as his cheek stung with her slap.

She didn't say anything, just stuck her tongue out at him and executed a precise turn on her heel as she marched out of the room in an obvious fit of pique.

Rubbing his cheek he squelched the desire to run after her. It was for the best…at least, he tried to convince himself of that. Shaking off his shock, he refocused on his original mission of finding his brother, sending thoughts of the brazen, fiery red-headed vixen to the back of his mind.

-0-

Raina was, once again, lost. That was, actually, why she had been heading back to the twins in the first place when she had come across the two in obvious snits; she had intended to ask them to show her how to get back to her friends, but that had not happened. She'd followed Elrohir back to the staircase and now she was at the bottom wondering where to go now.

Maybe someone could give her some directions? She looked around, but she couldn't find anyone. Maybe she could wander around and see if she could find someone or find the right room? Well, it was worth a shot. She most certainly wasn't going to go back and ask Elrohir, despite knowing where he was, as the younger twin had been rude and didn't seem to want anyone around.

That was how she ended up running into a blond-haired elf she immediately recognised as Trelan. Not that the recognition was mutual. Still, she needed help and he was the first person she had found.

"Um…Trey…Trelan?" she inquired hesitantly as she came over to him.

The elf glanced up at her, then quirked an inquisitive brow. "Yes?"

She figured he was surprised she knew him. Er, introductions first. That would be polite then, right? "Raina," she explained and held out a hand.

Trelan nodded slightly and shook her hand quickly. Then, he waited, and it took her a moment to realise he was waiting for her to explain why she'd come up to him in the first place.

"I'm lost," she hastened to make clear then. He inclined his head in understanding and she forged on, "The twins are…busy. I don't know how to get back to the…Hall of Fire?" she guessed uncertainly and he nodded again.

"It's right back here," he said, turning and leading her back down the hall.

"Um, well." Raina paused, considering. What would be the point of going back to her friends? They were all still talking stories and such, right? Meanwhile, her toes were cold, what with wet Converse and socks from hiking through the snow outside Rivendell, and she hadn't eaten since breakfast.

Trelan glanced at her.

"Actually, I was promised a meal." She pointed out wryly. "Gandalf did, that is. Could you…point the way to the kitchens instead?"

"I'll just take you there," Trelan offered. "I was on my way there, actually."

"Cool beans," she muttered.

"Say what?" he asked, confused.

Raina looked sheepish, realizing he'd heard. "Never mind. Old slang." A beat. "Where I come from," she hastened to tack on.

"Ah." He answered brightly as they continued down the hall. Actually, he had questions about her world. Questions in general, really. But, before he could voice any, someone called after him.

They paused and glanced back. Aragorn stood behind them by a door (the one to the Hall of Fire, Trelan knew) and it was he who had called the elf. "Would you mind bringing me something from the kitchens when you come back? I hear Celboril's made a few tasty treats. Ho, wait a second." Aragorn stepped closer and frowned at Raina. He had just noticed the girl had his brother's jacket and that she was one of those who had left with Elladan…why hadn't they come back? SG and Eltara had.

"Where's Elladan?" He asked Raina, trying to sound friendly and non-intimidating.

She shrugged nervously. "I don't know…he left after taking care of my finger."

Aragorn noticed then that she had a small, neat bandage on one finger, definitely the work of the twins. "I see."

Raina shifted her weight, trying to think of a polite way to leave the conversation, when her stomach rumbled embarrassingly. She blushed and ducked her head, but Trelan chuckled.

"I guess we ought to get that promised meal for you, then."

"And dry clothes." Aragorn spoke up. "Don't need you to become ill. Tell you what, let Trelan show you where the kitchens are. Tell Celboril I sent you. I'll see if one of the girls has something you can wear."

"Thank you." Raina smiled at him.

"No problem." Aragorn offered. He nodded at Trelan and turned to go back to the Hall to ask one of the girls, mentally sizing them all up to see who was closest in height. To his displeasure he realised the best match was that infuriating red-head, and he had no clue where she had disappeared to. This did not bode well, since Elrohir, also, was missing. Ada would be _very_ displeased if he found them together, saying they were, in actuality, together.

He sighed. Turning back around to see if he could find his brother and that troublesome female before Elrond made an appearance he made his way towards the stairs to the second level, figuring since Raina had come from there it was as good a place as any to start. He had only gotten halfway up the flight of stairs when Tira came stomping down them, obviously in a mood.

She stopped and eyed him. "Your brother," she said in a fed-up, snotty sort of voice, "is an absolute _dunderhead_."

Aragorn resisted the laugh that threatened to bubble up at her words. "Which one, and what did he do?"

"They're _both_ dunderheads!" She announced. "And he didn't do anything of particular consequence. He's just infuriating. Both of them. Hmph."

Aragorn eyed her, holding back his amusement. He remembered then what he had been looking for her for. "Oh, do you have any clean clothes for your friend Raina to change into?"

"Probably." Tira shrugged. Clothes seemed so…unexciting. But she knew Raina needed them. That girl could get sick just _thinking_ of a germ, in Tira's estimation. She sighed and started back up the stairs.

Aragorn followed her, telling himself it was to collect the promised clothes, though he knew it was really to keep her out of trouble. Seeing as she'd been stomping _down_ the stairs, and had ranted about his brothers, he concluded one or both of them were _upstairs_, and thus needed supervision.

He paused outside of her door while she went in to find some clothes, looking around to see if either of the twins were nearby. He didn't see anyone else, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. Not only did the twins have rooms on this floor, but the infirmary and that injured girl, JLyH, had her room up here as well. Glancing at Tira's door, he decided to go peek in and see if one of them was in any of those places.

He did not realise Tira had finished picking clothes and was following him until she spoke. He whirled around, creeped out by her silent walk.

"If you're looking for Elrohir, I'd check his mother's balcony. If Elladan…hmm. I don't know where he'd go. But Elrohir will probably be on the balcony."

Aragon gave her an odd look, still disturbed by the amount of information these girls knew. "How do you know that?"

She gave him an amused grin. "Because I am _Tirananniel_, of course. Now, where is Raina so I can deliver these clothes to her?"

"Kitchen, with Trelan."

"Ooh, she moves fast." Tira snorted amusedly. "Kay, well…check the balcony."

"Thanks," Aragorn said tightly, not certain how to reply to her uncanny knowledge or strange accusations.

He watched her walk away down the hall, then shook his head. She was weird. They were all weird. He couldn't wait to be done with them. His life had enough excitement, he did not need this brand, too.


	16. I Need Distractions From My Distractions

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

I Need Distractions From My Distractions

Trelan had already been filled in by Aragorn on how some of these girls seemed to have crushes on some of them. The most notable, of course, was the redhead who had a crush on Elrohir. He had been horrified to find out that it seemed Ro had one on the girl, too.

But this one…Raina. She was different. Granted, all these strange females were, but even still, she seemed different to the others of her group. She had a much more quieter feel to her, for one thing. She appeared to be a little younger than the rest, though she _seemed_ older. Like she'd seen a lot of life.

She'd also insisted on leaving with Elladan, and Trelan wondered if that signaled another crush. He wasn't really sure where the older twin was, but if Raina did have a crush on him and Dan knew, then Trelan was not at all surprised that the dark-haired elf was not around.

And if the girl _did_ have a crush on Elladan, then she had _no_ idea what she was getting herself into… He certainly hoped she'd not be foolish enough to pursue anything on that count with the older twin. It was sure to end in disaster.

One of the kitchen staff interrupted his rumination by setting a plate in front of him. Nodding his thanks he looked over to the girl and saw she also had a plate. She picked up a fork and examined the food, though he could not determine if it was because she didn't like what was there or was deciding what to try first. Having heard from Legolas the other girls reactions to some of the things they'd been served those first few days, he figured it could be either.

"It's braised venison…um, that is, deer meat. With turnips, carrots, celery…" He examined the plate, trying to identify the other vegetables.

Raina flashed him a quick smile. "Thank you." Cutting a piece of the meat, she placed it in her mouth and gave Trelan a surprised look. After swallowing the bite, she smiled again. "That is rather good."

He smiled back. At least she hadn't made the same loud comments many of the others had the first time Celboril had served this, according to Legolas's bemused recollections as told to him earlier that day. Most notably had been Tira's scolding comments about how it was missing this or that, or had too much of something else. Trelan had the feeling that Legolas had a bit of a problem with the red-head, but then he could sort of understand why, as she had no problems speaking her mind.

"Goodness me, and what do we have here? You do move on quickly little sister, you do. Anyway, that aside, I have some clothes for you. One of my dresses. And don't look surprised, I do wear dresses. They tend to give a girl funny looks around here when we request pants. Anyway, I made this one myself." Tira rattled on, not letting either of them say a word. "I can sew, you see. When I want to. I prefer a machine, of course, but hand sewing isn't all that difficult. It's blue, so it ought to match your eyes. Betcha it'll really catch Dan's eye."

"Thank you." Raina said simply, not egging her friend on by responding to comments obviously designed to get a reaction. She lightly kicked a foot out at Trelan, a warning to him to not say anything. The elf just watched the red-head warily.

"Hi Trelan. How's the food? Oh, that again? Did he put rosemary in it this time?"

"Um…hi."

"Because rosemary…it's a picky herb. You have to use it carefully."

"I know how to cook, child." Celboril's mild rebuke came to them from the other side of the room. "But if you're so eager to prove you can do better, tomorrow's dinner is on you."

"Oh, a challenge. I can't wait." Tira cackled.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Trelan asked.

"What, afraid I'm going to poison the prince or something?" She scoffed. "I wouldn't. I have to eat what I make, too, you know. And I _can_ cook, and I _do_ know how to use herbs for more than just healing purposes."

Raina quietly snickered and finished her plate. Standing up, she took the clothes from Tira. "How about you show me where I can change?"

"Of course I will." Tira replied loftily. "Trelan can bring the others some goodies, like a good little elfie."

Trelan bristled, but at Raina's very slight head shake just frowned. He realised the girl was trying to rile him, find his hotspot. It seemed to be a game to her. He felt sorry for Elrohir, and wondered what it was the elf could find appealing about the annoying, irritating creature. He likened her to a gnat, and so unlike her friend. Raina he could understand. She was quiet and honest…but Tira? He wanted to strangle her, but had the feeling he would have to get in line for that one.

He watched them leave then rounded on Celboril. "Letting her _cook_? For _everyone_? What do you think Lord Elrond will say to that? For that matter, do you think anyone is going to eat her cooking? She's made a lot of enemies, if what Legolas says has any merit."

Celboril waited for Trelan to stop talking. "Finished? Because I know what I'm doing, young one. I will be here, as well as the rest of my staff, to supervise. As far as My Lord goes, I am sure he will accept my decision to allow her to put her skills where her mouth is."

Trelan blinked. He did realise he had overstepped his bounds by berating the elf like that, but was still flustered over his Tira-encounter. "I apologise, Celboril. I should not have taken my frustrations out on you."

"She does have a way about her, doesn't she." Celboril chuckled. "Do your best to ignore her, and don't egg her on when she says something intended to rile you. That's what she wants."

"It's rather difficult." He frowned. "She's nothing like the other girl, Raina."

"From what I can see, this new arrival tempers the other one. It's a welcome change."

"I hope so." One of the staff muttered as she walked by. "Annoying little chit."

"Taesel, language." Celboril rebuked.

"I apologise." She hastily replied and hurried off.

"See? Enemies." Trelan confirmed with a nod.

"I do believe it may be a coping mechanism, but since I know nothing about her beyond what I have seen this past fortnight, I cannot elaborate. Now, if you would please take this tray to the hall of fire, I would be grateful."

"Of course." Trelan said. A little voice inside snickered at him, telling him Tira had been correct in her derision. He mentally knocked the little voice out and tossed it into a corner. He picked up the loaded tray and headed out.

Meanwhile, Tira led Raina back _up _the stairs towards her room. Raina went over in her head the many things Tira had hinted at or outright said, the various teasing she'd seen her direct towards Elladan and even Aragorn, wondering where to start now that they were alone.

"Why…why do you tease Elladan so?" She finally decided to jump in with both feet. A direct approach was usually better with Tira, anyway.

"Because, luvvy, he makes it far to easy to tease. Besides, he is rather transparent, and transparency is just far to fun to pass on."

"What do you mean by transparent?" Raina was genuinely curious.

"Please. Really. He _likes_ you. Can't keep his eyes off you, and if he is doing this while you're in damp, bedraggled clothes with unbrushed hair, imagine what it will be like once we get you a bath and clean, dry clothes. Hmm…gonna have to do something about that…"

"Do something about what?" Raina was immediately suspicious.

"The bath, of course." Tira replied glibly. "What do you think I meant?"

Raina shrugged, unable to interpret the innocent look Tira was giving. Tira, of course, had actually been referring to Dan's eyes and the looks he kept directing -or avoiding- concerning Raina.

"But Dan aside, what is going on between you and Elrohir?"

Tira frowned prettily. "I don't know."

"And what is up with Glorfindel?"

"Oh, him? He's all sore that Elrond let us stay."

"And Gandalf?"

"I have yet to figure him out…but I think he's on my side, anyway, which is a change. I think everyone else finds me irritating." She said that last with a note of pride.

"Irritating is a good thing?" Raina snickered.

"Of course it is. This is me we're talking about. Speaking of me, what do _you_ think of Elrohir?"

"Well, that depends on what I am supposed to be remarking on."

"Well, his attitude towards me, of course. We _are_ talking about _me_, it only makes sense."

"Yeah, if you say so…um…I don't know. He seems to…be drawn to you, I think."

"That's it?" Tira stopped. "_Drawn_ to me? Psshh, I am worth so much more than that. Try harder, Homer."

Raina ignored the confusing end to Tira's sentence. "Yes, you are worth more than that, but you can't force someone to be more than what they are."

"Whatever." Tira waved that off. "We're talking about you, not me, anyway. How dare you go off topic. I think Elladan is completely head over heels. That's not necessarily a good thing. He needs to behave himself. Naughty elf."

Raina chuckled. "Elladan doesn't like me. What gave you that idea?"

"Oh, if you can't see it, it's no use explaining."

"The bath requested by Master Estel for the new girl is waiting." One of the many elves that served as maids and household staff was coming out of one of Tira's room and had, conveniently, found the very person she'd been sent to find.

"Aw, how sweet of the kid." Tira grinned. "Go on in Raina, while it's still hot."

"Ah, okay." Raina took the clothing Tira still carried and entered the room. The elf followed her. Waiting for a few seconds, Tira quietly crept down the hall, intending to seek out Elrohir.

"Excuse me, miss, but the other one is asking after you. She says she wants to talk some more." Tira stopped and turned.

"Raina?"

The elf nodded. "She said to me to catch you quickly, otherwise you'd disappear and she'd not have the chance to tell you whatever it is she wants to say."

"Thanks." Tira said and headed back to her room. Trust her friend to know her so well.

"I knew you'd try to sneak off." Raina said from behind the screens as she bathed.

"Oh pssh, whatever. I was just going to go talk to JLyH."

"Sure you were." Raina laughed.

"Anywho, Siliveth said you wanted to tell me something?"

"Siliveth, was that her name?"

"I think so. There's a couple different ones. Siliveth just happens to be the name I remember."

"Anyway…yes, I did want to ask you something. Or, rather, I wanted you to explain something."

"Ok." Tira sat on the edge of one of the beds and picked at her nails while she waited for the question.

"I noticed ever since I arrived here in Imladris that everyone…especially Dan…has been treating me weird. And you and Gandalf keep teasing him? Why is that?"

"Have you not _noticed_ how easy he makes it?" Tira laughed. "Besides…it's obvious he is absolutely taken with you."

"I don't think that's true."

"Sure it is, you're just resistant to the idea." Tira waved her hand, though she knew Raina couldn't see the movement. "He is too, for all that."

"But what makes you say that?"

"Hell-ooooo! I'm the awesome O Blue One. I just know these things."

"Okay, well, since you _just know these things_, care to tell me why we're here?"

"Well, that one is easy. This happens to be where they set up the tub, of course."

"That's not what I meant at all and you know it."

"Tsk, you should know better than anyone else that I take things literal."

"Yes, of course. What, then, is your opinion on the possible reasons we girls ended up here in Middle-earth?"

"Well, I can only assume we're here to do something. Dunno what, though. Nothing like this ever happened in the MC. Nothing like this happened in the original Rings, or LaCE, or HoME or The Silmarillion, either."

"What kind of something can a motley bunch of modern day females do, though? Is there a towel?"

"Yes, here." Tira tossed one over the screen. "As for what a motley crew like us can do, well, other than wreak havoc, I haven't a clue."

"How helpful."

"I know. I try." Tira picked up the dress and shook it out, examining it to make sure it was clean and wearable. "By the way, unless you want to wash and wear the underpants you came in, um…well…I think I have an extra chemise you can wear under this dress…"

After a brief pause Raina's answer came forth. "Oh. Alright, I guess that's fine. Mind getting it for me?"

"Course." Tira tossed the dress over the edge of the closest screen, then went to dig through her meagre pile of clothes for the clean chemise.

Finding it she handed that over to Raina and waited until the girl emerged. Tira helped her tie the laces in the back, looked her over, tweaked a fold that really didn't need tweaking, and then stepped back with a grin.

"Yeah, it does bring out your eyes. And he is so gonna bug out when he sees you like this. I can't wait."

"Tira…" Raina shook her head with a sigh. She was so incorrigible.

"I know, I know." Tira waved her hand again, dismissing any arguments. "But I'll bet you anything they're still in the hall telling stories. We ought to skedaddle on down and join them. Besides, I'll bet Eyebrows and his faithful companion Blondie-the-Balrog-Slayer are doing those interviews and such. Ah, can't wait to have my one on one with the old dudes."

"Suit yourself." Raina shrugged. "But do try to not be unruly."

"What, me? I'd never! You know me, Raina, I'm a darling."

"Of course, of course," the younger girl waved a hand.

"Let's go, chickabiddy," Tira gestured to the door as she hurried out. She rubbed her hands together. "I have so much I'd like to do, and now that you're here, there's so much _more_ to do. Really, I suppose Ro'll get over himself soon and Dan'll stop being silliness, and then that'll be interestingness, to boot."

Raina didn't bother replying; mostly because she didn't know what Tira was going on about, as the older girl's train of thought jumped tracks at dangerous speeds.

"And you know, dear, I don't need any more school, but how do you explain a college degree to Elves who've never heard of colleges? I, of course, have already learned all I need to know in my chosen area of study, so why must they doubt my awesomeness at jewelry and herbs and such? Pff.

"Oh! And do you see that vase? I know for a fact that it is a thousand year's old, at least; I mean, everything of that age is ancient and deteriorating and in need of excavating and archeologists and experts…in our world, that is, but here, _noooo_, they're just all awesomeness and have it in pristine condition. I wanted to touch it, but a sneaky little twat slapped at my hand as if I were a child! I mean really! I wouldn't have broken it, that's the twins' job. I mean, come on, betcha anything that ugly ol' thing is there as a joke, that Gandy went ahead and replaced the one the twins broke during the earthquake incident, and is a sister to the trashed one…although that one is just as trashy, in my opinion. God, it's ugly.

"But anyway, I betcha anything that it gets moved into a room and broken by an errant elbow sometime in the future, to meet the same fate as the other one that the twins broke, but really it was Gandalf."

By now, they'd finally reached the Hall of Fire, and Tira's rambling took on a slightly different note when they entered and found the room empty.

The redhead stomped her foot. "Well how do you like _that_? They just up and leave without a fine how-dya-do. Probably stuffing their faces and leaving me out of it. I haven't eaten since this morning, dearies, so why'd you up and leave me?"

"Well…you were helping me. I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it. You left them." Raina tried to explain.

"Pff, please. I left to make sure Dan was behaving himself, because he ran off with you and that's mighty suspicious. Of course, he's really acted suspicious and if I ever hear tale of elopement, I'mma be so disappointed."

Raina sighed and tried to ignore Tira's insinuations as they left the Hall of Fire and went in search of their companions.

"I mean, the dude does enough of running off, so if he runs off with you, I'll consider it kidnapping next time. Not only are you underage, he's also ancient."

"Tira, really." Raina chided.

"Oh, don't mind me, deary, but do mind the fact that when it comes time, there'll be no eloping with the fiancé, eh? Cause, see, I just know I'll be at your wedding, so eloping means it's not right, so you'd be making a mistake. Also, when Dan shows back up, try to not be giving him any eyes."

"I…what?" the younger girl gasped and blustered a little, intent on setting her friend straight. "I have not been giving him any eyes! We're _not_ eloping. We're not even getting married! Ever! He doesn't _like_ me, at least not like that, and besides he's an _elf_, he's in _Middle_-_earth_, and I'm just…me."

"You were ogling him when you came through the door. Course, so was he, to you, that is, and really, you'd think he'd—"

"There you are." Celboril interrupted Tira's jumbled monologue.

"Yes, here we are, but we really must be going." Tira answered flippantly as she breezed past the elf.

"Your group is in the dining hall and you are going the wrong way."

"Moi? The wrong way? Never, my dearest Celboril, never." She said as she abruptly turned and started in the other direction. "And _what_ is wrong with you being you? For reals, luvvy!"

"I never said anything of the sort." The elf answered in a clipped, confused tone.

"Not you, Celly dear, not you. I was talking to my bestest best-ever Raina _ever_. _Duh_."

Celboril glanced over at the other girl in confusion. Raina just shrugged, her cheeks slightly pink with embarrassment at Tira's words.

"After all, don't you think she is pretty? There is most definitely nothing wrong with being oneself, especially in that dress. Elladan is going to go absolutely ape when he catches that. She's smoking. Don't you think she's smoking, Celboril? Oh, don't answer that, that's too much like pedophaelia or something equally creepy. Just tell the girl she's pretty and we'll be on our way."

Celboril gave Raina one last glance, turned to Tira and stiffly nodded. "She looks quite presentable. We start preparing dinner about two, do not be late."

"Oh, don't worry your old elfie head, Cel," Tira smiled. "I can't pass up a challenge like that. I won't be late, even if I am."

Rather than replying to Tira's mumbo jumbo, Celboril gave them one last glance before he turned and hurried off, about some business only he knew. Tira watched him go and stuck out her tongue at his back.

"Well how dya like that? Can't even say the girl's pretty. Meanie. Pottyhead. Stiff. Stinky-meanie-jerkie!" She huffed and continued down the hall as she rambled to herself; Raina could only hear the girl mumbling, she could not catch the words. "But that's alright. I'll wrangle it out of Dan. Hopeless love-struck fool don't stand a chance. Purtyness and Tira will win out in the end.

"Because O Blue One always wins!" Tira declared in a louder tone.

"What was that?" Raina asked.

"Oh nothing much, deary, but that I am finagling the uttering of the word pretty, because pretty is a good word and needs to be said."

"Whatever you say…" the other girl shrugged as they entered the dining hall.

"Really, Ran, it's quite simple." Eltara's voice greeted them first from among the table conversation. "In the Rubber Duck Dynasty, people go to the School of Shower-singing to learn things like that. Which would be fantastic, I think, except that the Rubbers are so concerned about learning wacky skills they've forgotten how to sleep…and so the people who succeed at things like sleeping get their names on the Curtain of Fame and when the Curtain falls -because all Curtains must- another, greater person will have succeeded in sleeping for a longer period of time all while they attended twenty-nine different schools that teach everything from walking upside down to playing Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue by only cracking their knuckles."

By the time the girl had gotten this far, all other talk had ceased and everyone was listening to her ramble. Tira and Raina tried to find seats, even as they tried to follow the confusing story Eltara was weaving for the befuddled elf she had accosted.

"Now that is something I have to see, even if I find people cracking various bones to be really creepy," the Canadian pointed out, before jumping right back into her description, "And while they dream of becoming a shoe-maker or sleeping for eight consecutive hours, they have to attend various schools before they can be recognized as skilled enough to sit on the Curtain…" she hummed a strange tune that rose and fell in short bursts as she finally took note of all the eyes trained on her.

She waved at everyone. "Blame all that ramble on Kermit the Frog and Dr. Seuss, who decided it would be fun to play hockey in my meeting-tired head. Now I'm curious about these Rubber people, though…" She glanced up at the ceiling as she said speculatively, "I wonder if the world is like a giant bathtub and the humans using it are evil Titans come to destroy their weird little society of schools. Ha!" she snickered. "Kids with bath crayons. Ooh, this looks yummy." This last was directed at her plate.

Uncertain looks were slowly exchanged as Eltara took a bite of food. What in the world had all of that been? Unfortunately, looking to Raniean, who had been the one she was talking to, proved unhelpful, because he shrugged helplessly at them and appeared just as lost as they.

Eltara smacked and took a deep breath. "Does anyone want to hear about the Headless Barbie Doll Dynasty?"

"No!" JRH snapped warningly, before the girl could continue rambling.

Tira, though, could not resist chiming in. "Ooh, headless Barbie dolls…I had a few of those. Joey would never leave mine alone. And the rest, the warg got."

"A sad, sad fate most Barbies meet…" Eltara agreed mournfully. Then, she scowled lightly, "But it is their own fault for being plastic little twats who can't keep their heads on…oh, and don't even get me started on _Bratz_. Disproportionate scary creeps! Turned Jamie into a greedy little monster, the ugly little things."

"I agree," Tira nodded sagely. "Creepy little dolls."

"Then why do you have them?" Raniean asked.

"Oh, I dunno. Profit? Trend? _I_ don't have them. Snotty, grubby-handed children do. I was an awesome child." Tira replied.

"Well, I played with Barbie dolls," JRH pointed out. "But that was a long time ago. JLyH and I fought over the ones from our mother's childhood, though; the genuine thing."

"Oooh! You don't say!" Tira grinned excitedly. "Do you still have them? Those things are worth a pretty penny now."

Legolas, Trelan, and Raniean exchanged looks, thinking that it was a hopeless venture to understand females; understanding _these_ females was not only futile but seemed even more costly. Why would they want headless dolls?

"Anyhoo…" Kel mumbled as Tira and JRH discussed dolls.

"Anyone looking forward to tomorrow?" Tea piped up. "I, for one, am interested in seeing what Lord Elrond comes up with."

"Pff. It'd better be good or I'll be bored and a bored Tira is never a good thing. Of course, explaining to him I've already had extra schooling is pointless, so really, I don't know what Lord Eyebrows is thinking."

While Legolas smothered a snicker at Tira's name-calling of the venerable lord, Trelan choked on his drink and Raniean gaped like a fish, horrified, at the redhead for a few seconds. It was his friend's choke-coughing that broke the spell first, though; he slapped the shorter elf on the back to alleviate the problem as he finally managed to squeak out his protest.

"How do you dare to label Lord Elrond such?"

Tira raised an eyebrow and gave him an amused look. "How did you know who I was talking about?"

Trelan, airway now clear, was caught between shock and hilarity, the hilarity finally winning when Tira returned Ran's question with her own. The unamused look Raniean shot his way didn't help matters and he found himself choking again—on laughter.

"Should've let you choke the first time." He grumbled, shoving his friend. "Since you'd just do it again. Some thanks."

The shorter elf tried, he really did, to stop laughing and send Raniean his best apologetic look, but it didn't work. He was still shaking with laughter.

"Seems we missed all the fun," another voice interrupted from the doorway before more could be said. It was Aragorn, Elrohir trailing him.

"Stridy!" Tira squealed, purposefully ignoring the elf behind the ranger. "Nope, you didn't miss it. It's only just begun, because, of course, I only just got here. With Raina. And now everyone's here, except Dan, cause, well, yeah. He's not everyone, so nyah on that."

The ranger only sighed at the undignified nickname bestowed upon him.

"And if he wants to skip a meal, that's his stomach's problem." Tira continued rambling, if only to avoid addressing the younger twin. "Although, the borborygmus might give him away. So maybe that's good. Not that I particularly care." Briefly her gaze caught Ro's before she glanced away and turned back to her plate.

Inwardly, his heart skipped a beat. He regretted his harsh words earlier, but he knew, just _knew_ that nothing, no matter his or her feelings, could ever happen. He knew what she was doing right now, avoiding him so as not to have to face the rejection he'd dealt, but it was for the better…or so he tried to convince himself. It was making him miserable. When he thought about Elladan and Raina, and anything that might or might not have been there, and then his own problems now, with Tira, he didn't know how he'd ever smile again.

Choosing a chair several down from her so he wouldn't have to see her face, he concentrated on the plate that was put before him. At least, that's what he tried to do.

Conversation was going on around him and he wasn't really listening, but a quiet voice directed at him got his attention. "Elrohir?"

He looked up and saw the newcomer. Raina. "What?" he asked dutifully.

She shrugged and glanced down at her plate, poking at her food. "I…uh, I've been made aware that a long face is rarely becoming." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a nervous motion, eyes still downcast.

He thought about this for a second. "I suppose you're correct." He looked at her closely. "Isn't that Tira's dress?"

He mentally smacked his head. In trying _not_ to think of her, he thought of her. Where was the fairness?

The girl blushed slightly. "Yes, she's letting me borrow it until I can have some made."

"I see. Well, you look very pretty."

"I guess."

"You don't think so?"

"Well, I mean…that is…I don't know."

Elrohir studied his plate for a second. It was obvious that the girl was unsure of something, and he wondered what. He figured she might be just the distraction he needed.

He took a bite, formulating in his mind what he was going to say next. "There is nothing more unsatisfying than a person who can't see their own inner beauty." He glanced up to see Raina watching him. "And you, young one, radiate with beauty, both inside and out. After all…you've put up with all this with such grace."

She ducked her head down, but he continued. "That is, by the way, what your name means, sort of. It is a definition, anyway. And what do you think of the venison? You've hardly touched your plate."

"I ate a little while ago."

"I see. But what do you think of it?"

"I think it tastes great, actually."

"This is one of Elladan's favourite meals. I'm surprised he is missing it tonight."

"Oh. Well." She shrugged.

He sighed. She wasn't overly forthcoming, was she? And very hard to read. He supposed he'd just have to try harder. Perhaps Tira would have some ans…oh Valar. He was focusing on Raina right now, _not_ Tira.

He pursed his lips as he thought about what to say next. "Earlier…um, one of your friends mentioned you were a black belt? I was wondering what this meant?"

She set her fork down and sat back, sighing. "Ooh. It's…" She bit her lip. Considering her words or did he make her uneasy? "Where we come from, it's a skill level in certain forms of hand-to-hand combat."

He was interested now, having been at Glorfindel's mercy for so long. She was, how to put it, fresh meat? Someone new to test his skills against. He knew his brothers' tricks, his friends'; he wouldn't dare say he knew Glorfindel's, as the Balrog-slayer had a way of making one regret those kinds of things…

"Well, then. What say we put your skills to the test. Care to show me some of your training?"

Raina looked up in surprise. "Well, I guess so…"

Elrohir smiled. This could help keep his mind busy, especially if she was any good. It was just what he needed, a distraction from his distractions.

"It's on, then. Tomorrow morning."


	17. Really, You Just Need to Shut Up

MC Insanity Meets Middle-Earth

Really, You Just Need to Shut Up

While Ro was trying to distract himself via Raina, Eltara was happily talking Raniean's pointy ears off. He was staring at her, though one was not sure if his expression was one of horror or confusion. It could very well have been both.

"See, you already know what sugar is. I mean, everyone knows what sugar is. Well, sugar has secret properties that lots of people _don't_ actually know. It is, quite simply really, a substance which enables one to have fantastic bouts of inspiration but often in a way which is not conducive to making sense and/or having any use to the advancement of one's mind. It is, though, much more healthy than talking at a picture of…um, a creature."

Ran and Trey traded confused looks. Finally, Ran cleared his throat.

"Why would you be speaking to an image at all, let alone that of a creature?

Eltara sighed. "_Because_, um…the creature has a precious object…and, well, sugar is precious…" She trailed off, uncertain of how to explain Gollum and the Ring without giving away anything that she knew very well had not happened yet. It was proving to be difficult. Finally, she just shook a finger at Ran.

"Do you _know_ how spectacular sugar can be? Sugar invokes so many super sugar powers to those who are worthy of such! Unfortunately for the majority of the boring, uneducated world, super sugar powers are rarely given to anyone. But of course the people that do get them can rule. The only problem is the crashing. Eventually a crash will happen, and it is often extremely tragic."

Across the table, JRH placed her head into her hands with a groan. Trust Eltara to spin a story like that one to the poor elves. All around her the others were in various states of humorous distress. SG was giggling while her sister was trying _not_ to giggle, and failing.

With a grin, Londessa turned to Tea. "So, do you think _we_ might be worthy of SSP?"

"Of what?"

"Super sugar powers, duh. Weren't you listening?"

"Well, no, I was eating. What are super sugar powers?"

"Powers given by sugar. Obviously.

"Oh."

"You know," Eltara called over to Londessa, "I am so totally the Director of One and All, and thus can bestow these desired powers should I wish to. Thing is, you'd have to become my minion. I'm not a bad overlord -or would that be lady?- so it's not like you'll be treated terribly. But you'd still be my sugar minion."

"The problem with sugar addicts banding together is that whereas yes, it is the most amazing thing on the planet, it does cause crashes. I can see it now, high atop mount Olympus we would all be in an epic battle to claim the world as our own, when suddenly... _sugar crash!_ And we lose all of our powers! Zeus would throw down a mighty bolt and we would be hurled down to Earth and imprisoned with the other Titans. We would, however, have a much more badass name than "Titans" since it is so overused." Tira joined in the conversation.

"Like what?"

"Hmm…Sugarians, emphasis on the 'gar', will suffice me thinks. It will be an epic battle between the Gods and the Sugarians!"

"Well," Eltara hesitated, thinking. "What if we weren't planning on ruling the world? What could we attempt without having to worry about the catastrophic failure of sugar crash?"

The girls all thought about it, and it was, surprisingly, Lindelas who came up with it, shouting out triumphantly and having everyone look at her. "_Eureka_! I've got it! We will break the sugar down at the subatomic level and rebuild it! We will enhance it to amplify its boosting effects and reduce -no-... _eliminate_ the crash! With this new hybrid-brain-enhancing-power-unlocking super juice, the world -no... not the world- the UNIVERSE will be ours!"

"Perhaps you ladies should stay away from the sweets." Ran shook his head.

"And away from each other, if this is the sort of hare-brained ideas you produce together." Trelan finished.

"Didn't you know?" SG answered slowly, getting in on the game. "We Su_gar_ians, have already taken the world and no one even knew it! Oh and Zeus and the Titans pale in comparison, cause sugar is sparkly. We will blind the world with our greatness!"

Calenlass shrugged. "Fine. As long as I get Middle-earth. For the elves, that is. Although, the scenery is probably lovely. When it's not winter and frozen and cold and my toes feel like miniature ice cubes. I just don't like the thought of a giant eyeball watching me. Gonna have to eliminate that first."

"I get Narnia!" Kel announced.

"I get Coruscant!" SG followed suit.

"Well, I get the TARDIS, so nyah!" Tira triumphantly stuck her tongue out.

Eltara, all put out about that, said disgruntled, "Well. Only as long as I allow it. DOA and all, you know."

"That's rather redundant, you know." Tira remarked. "Besides, no matter how much super-enhanced sugar, sparkles not withstanding, you and your minions ingest, I still hold the Sphere of the Awesome. Nothing trumps the Sphere."

"I am not at all sure I wish to understand this conversation." Elladan had snuck up behind Kim, making her jump when he spoke. He was clearly avoiding his brothers and Raina.

"Don't _do _that you sneaky elf." Kim placed a hand to her chest. "You practically took a year or three off my life. Anyway, I only agree to this madness if I can have Risa."

"Oh, I suppose." Eltara sighed.

"Well if Kim gets a planet, and Tira gets a TARDIS, I want…Baker Street." Londessa piped up.

"Baker Street?"

"You know, from Holmes."

"Yes, I know. But…that's it?"

"I don't need more than that."

"Alright, I hate to interrupt, but what are these things? Narnia? Coruscant? Risa?" Legolas finally joined the conversation.

"TARDIS? For that matter, what is Olympus and Zeus?" Trelan had to put in another two cents.

"The TARDIS is Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's bigger on the inside, and there is even a pool in the library." Tira nodded knowingly.

"Time and relative dimensions?" Elladan actually spoke to the bane of his existence.

"Oh yes, yes indeed." Tira nodded emphatically. "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but _actually_ from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly...time-y wimey...stuff."

"Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck." Kel intoned, as every one of the Who-followers (mainly Tira, Eltara, and Kel) started trading quotes and favourites.

Looking to his friends, Legolas sighed. "I think we have been very much forgotten."

"Are you complaining?" Ran asked. "Because I, for one, and happy about it."

"Now, none of that." Eltara turned back to Ran suddenly. "You are hereby dubbed the Great Tyrant Elf Ran the Serious. Since you glow, and all. It's sort of like sparkling, without the sparkles. Sparkling guys are bad. Too Twilight-ish."

Cal, on the other hand, was paraphrasing a quote she'd heard from the movie _Stranger Than Fiction_. "Why was Elladan talking to this woman? This woman was an idiot...she used words like "time-y wimey" and "wibbly-wobbly" and explained that time is pretty much confusing. Of course time is confusing. Who doesn't know time is confusing? Elladan knows time is confusing. He's an elf, after all. What's time got to do with anything?"

Elladan regretted having come back inside. Being outside had been so much more preferable, and much less confusing. But at least no one had said grace, gracious, or any other variant of _her_ name.

As if that one, minor thought had sent a shockwave her direction, Raina looked up just as he risked a glance in her direction. Their eyes met, and she looked back down as he abruptly turned to Eltara.

"What is twilight?"

"Really. You don't know what twilight is?" She smirked. Londessa giggled, knowing Eltara was getting ready to lead the poor elf astray.

"No, what is it?" He, of course, meant what she had mentioned. She purposely misconstrued this.

"Twilight is that time just after the sun sets but before dark has fully set in, duh."

"No, I meant…"

"I know what you meant. Some things are better left unsaid." Eltara nodded wisely.

He sighed. This was pointless. Did the girl ever provide anything useful? Honestly, he had to wonder if she had a properly-functioning brain beneath those frizzy curls. His best guess? Unlikely. Who _rambled_ like that and about…sugar, super-powers (sounds a bit like "magic" abilities humans tend to attribute to his people; crazy, that), or Twilight that has nothing to do with twilight?

The meal was drawing to a close and it crossed his mind that he should want some, it being a favourite and all, but he didn't. There were very good reasons for that, of course; namely…his eyes strayed to his twin's direction…

A frisson of jealousy shot through him. How could she talk with him so comfortably?

He scowled and tried to turn away, but there was just something inexplicably captivating about her. He couldn't take his eyes off her. And his thoughts flew into a mindless frenzy trying to make sense of it, searching frantically for some explanation…while all the while she terrified him and didn't know it.

Why did their lives have to be so complicated?

He hated himself for thinking it ("She's _young_! You're not _interested_!" he kept telling himself), but if she was cute this afternoon, then tonight she was amazing. Stunning. But he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it, and he tried to ignore it, push it out of mind…oh Valar, if Tira got it in her head…

And Elrohir just _had _to have something to say earlier, didn't he? If he wasn't so hurt, he'd rather share some of this, so he could begin to assimilate it. Not to mention El's seeming perspicacity about the girl…that disgruntled him, like he'd known it would.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had a mission…apparently, one his father felt to be important. Frankly, he did not envy Elrond what was very likely about to go down, once he delivered the message. Speaking of the message, he ought to deliver it so he could relax a little, eat some dinner.

There was a problem, he realised as he opened his mouth to speak. He couldn't, just couldn't, go over to _her_ and tell her…which left him telling the _other_ one…and that was a fate almost worse than death. Or maybe it _was_ worse.

"Spill it elf." Tira grinned at him. He returned the grin with a scowl.

"Spill what?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking. I'll bet it's about how great Raina looks in my dress."

His scowl deepened. "Then you'd think wrong. You and…her…need to go to my father's study and meet with him when you are done eating. Together, he said."

Tira nodded, but instead of going away her grin widened. "Well, sadly, I believe Raina and I don't know how to get there." Tira hadn't missed his hesitation, and now stepped on Kim's toes as the older girl opened her mouth to either offer or give directions. "I guess that means you'll have to be the _gracious_ host and take us."

Elladan stared at her. Again, Kim went to speak and again her poor toes received abuse from Tira. In spite, Kim kicked out at the girl's shin, but connected with the chair instead. Elladan, having seen the chair shift slightly and heard the thunk of Kim's foot hitting it, looked down just as Tira decided to stand up, effectively whacking him with her head and making him straighten up quite fast.

"Oh! Oh I'm so sorry! That really was an accident. I promise, that was accidental. Does it hurt? Oh, you're bleeding. I whacked it good. Oh, I'm sorry." Tira went all mother-hen on the elf, who really just wanted to find the closest wall and slam his now aching head against it.

Life, the Valar, heck, even Eru were out to get him, and they'd sent this tiny, irritating creature to do it.

"Raina! Raina honey, come here a second. Come on, we have to go see Elrond, but first I have to make sure Dan is ok."

Raina eyed the elf, who had a hand to his nose and a small bit of blood leaking through his fingers. "What did she do to you?"

Elladan glanced at her, frozen suddenly by the concern in her voice.

"Oh, I stood up when he bent over. Why did you bend over, anyway? Silly elf. I whacked his nose with my head. Ma always said I had a hard head."

"I'm fine." Elladan said as he gratefully accepted the napkin Kim handed him. Placing it to his face, he whirled on his heel. "Let's go."

"A bloody snit he's in, isn't he?" Tira grumbled to Raina. Raina just sent the other girl a look that clearly said that the pun was not amusing and that this was the redhead's fault. "Oh stop it." Tira waved a hand. "He got in my way. No, I'm serious. Raina, _really_. Like this is my fault? So Kim and I were fighting under the table, nothing interesting to see. Come on, dearie, do _stop_. Argh! Fine! I swear it's the bane of my existence that I can read you this well. Oi! Daaaaaaan!"

He resisted the urge to slap his forehead, having heard the one-sided exchange and now, Tira skipping up beside him. He didn't even want to know what she wanted.

"Hey, I'm trying to talk to you. Dan!" Indignant at being ignored, she yanked on his arm and pulled him to a stop. Aggravated, he finally looked at her, only to catch her gaze flickering back behind them before looking up at him. The indignation was replaced by a slightly more humble contrition. "Look, I'm _sorry_, alright? And I really don't know the way there, so it's not like I was just being mean. Entirely."

Exasperated, he rolled his eyes and turned away. Tira tugged his arm and said hurriedly, "No, wait. Definitely not mean." She amended. "Truly. I'm not doing all this just to be mean to you. Cross my heart and hope to die!" She mimed an 'x' over her heart.

He didn't quite understand her terminology, but he got the gist of it. And he wasn't buying it.

"Really, Dan, don't make me pinkie swear it." Tira whined when he didn't react. "We're older than _that_."

Painfully aware of _her_ eyes on them, he carefully removed Tira's hand from his arm and, with a stiff nod, turned away. "Come on," was all he'd say.

He heard the redhead sigh and exclaim, "You see? Can I be off the hook now?"

He sighed and kept walking.

Gandalf watched closely as Elrond sat back and rubbed his forehead.

"Elves don't get headaches." He smirked. "Isn't this what you told me, oh, eons ago?"

"Not _eons_, no." Elrond shot the infuriating wizard a cold look. "But perhaps I did say it at one time. I now understand why humans have such a tired look all the time. Not only are my children driving me absolutely insane, but these females are…"

"Impossible." Glorfindel put his two cents in. "Impossible, irritating little witches."

"Now, how can you say that? They're not all bad." Gandalf chuckled. "The one called Raina is quite engaging and polite."

"Yes, but with our luck we'll be stuck with the redhead for what might possibly amount to the rest of her life, which I have been tempted to end or otherwise cut short by any means available." Glorfindel grumbled.

Gandalf had been taking a sip of his drink at that moment and had a difficult time keeping the liquid in his mouth at that comment. Elrond shot another look in his direction and frowned, wondering what the wizard knew and wasn't telling.

He was spared his rather useless ponderings when a knock sounded at the door. The dread that surged through him then was not befitting a Lord, or so he felt, so he schooled his composure before summoning the arrivals.

Before he even finished issuing the 'come in' the door opened and his son, bloody and very not amused strode in, while behind him a loudly babbling Tira was going on and on.

"Don't worry, old dudes, he's fine. Really. Just a small accident, a bump from my noggin to his tender nose. Not like it's the first time he's broken it, but anyway. Just a little blood, nothing to worry about. I don't believe he has any of those nasty pathogens like HIV anyway…if that even exists here. He'll be fine…"

"Girl," Glorfindel frowned at her with a sigh. "Shut it."

"Oh, whatever. Mind you, I'm going to stop talking because I _feel_ like it, not cause you told me to."

"I don't care why you are doing it, so long as it gets done." He sniffed.

"Elladan, what happened?" Elrond sighed, ignoring the exchange.

"It was an accident." He grudgingly admitted. "And it doesn't matter. I brought them as asked, now may I go?"

"As long as you promise to fix things with your brother." Elrond replied wisely. He knew something was up, those parental instincts coming in to play, and in all likelihood it had something to do with either these girls or an argument with Elrohir. He gambled for the latter.

Something flickered in Elladan's eyes as he brusquely nodded and, turning on his heel, strode out. Sighing, Elrond eyed the two girls.

"Please, sit." He motioned to the chairs.

"Thank you. Don't mind if I do." Tira plopped unceremoniously to the cushion while Raina did so in a much more demure and respectful fashion. Elrond wondered what it was that had these two able to be friends, they were like night and day.

"Sooo…I assume this is like that whole question and answer thing you had the other girlies do? Our hobbies and all that good stuff?"

"Tira." Raina said in a quiet, slightly admonishing voice.

"What? It is a perfectly valid question."

"Don't be a nuisance."

"I am so not a nuisance!"

Glorfindel let out a derisive snort, which everyone ignored. Elrond just sighed. This is why he'd had them come together, in hopes that the one could temper the other.

"You are acting like a nuisance. So stop. Let Lord Elrond speak."

"Fine. But only cause I want to."

"To answer your…question…yes, this is a brief meeting to ascertain your skills and hobbies in relation to the schedules that will be implemented on your behalf."

"You might want to add behaviour modification therapy to that list." Glorfindel was heard to mutter.

"For an old dude you sure are a crusty, bad-tempered chap." Tira shot back. "You should take a note from Gandalf. At least he knows how to live it up a little."

"I shall do no such thing. And I am not a crusty old dude." Glorfindel replied. "You bring out the worst in me."

"I do? Sweet deal." Tira settled back with an amused grin on her face.

"If I may continue?" Elrond raised a brow.

"Certainly." Tira nodded her permission.

Gandalf was doing his best to contain his chuckles. This one was a veritable fount of amusement, especially where Glorfindel was concerned.

"Raina, skills and hobbies?" Elrond started with the quiet one.

"Oh, gee, you know, the boring good girl stuff like knitting. Bleh. But, she is a fair hand in the kitchen. She makes a mean apple pie that would totally meet with twin approval, which is a goal all good girls who attract the eye of a twin should strive for."

"Tira, it's crochet, not knitting." Raina shook her head, then glanced at Elrond. "But I suppose I'm not too shabby in the kitchen."

"No one's died, after all. Yet."

"Tira…" Raina sighed. "I also play the guitar."

"Ohh, let's have a song. Y'all want to hear a song, yeah? Music, music, music…"

Elrond resisted the urge to lay his head down on his desk. Gandalf resisted the urge to laugh aloud. Glorfindel resisted the urge to slap the girl.

"Please explain what this guitar is."

Raina picked up the instrument, making sure to angle it so Elrond could clearly see it. "It is a stringed instrument that uses a hollow box to acoustically echo the vibrations of the strings. When I strum, like this," she demonstrated, "the vibrations make a different sound depending on the string thickness and location. If I press a string or strings down while strumming, I can change the tone and pitch."

"So, play a song! Do it! Dooooo it!" Tira waved her hands at the other girl.

"Tira, hush." Raina reprimanded.

"Tira, hush, Tira, sit down, Tira don't touch. Why does everyone always try to repress my free will and exuberance for life? I say." The girl muttered. "All I want is a song."

"One song. But you have to be more cooperative if I do." Raina said, glancing at Elrond to see if he agreed. The lord nodded, anything to make the unruly one behave.

Raina settled in to tune the instrument, then played one of her shorter, self-written songs. It carried a slightly sad, but still hopeful tune. Elrond was sure if she had written or later wrote words to accompany it, it would prove to be a beautiful ballad of loss and hope and self-discovery.

At any rate, the playing seemed to appease the annoying one, as she settled back and even when Raina finished, waited to be addressed. Perhaps she could be managed. He would make it a point to put the two girls together wherever possible.

"Very nice." he smiled. "Aside from culinary and musical skills, do you have anything you would particularly like to do or study?"

"Well, sir, I think I ought to mention that I am proficient in hand-to-hand combat and self defence. Oh, and I'd like to learn Sindarin, so I actually know what this one," she hooked a thumb at Tira, "is saying."

'What sort of proficiency to you profess to?" Glorfindel chimed in, as this was his area of expertise.

"Well…" Raina struggled to find an answer to describe her skill. "I am what's known as a black belt in tai kwon do…um…the highest you can go. I'm only a first dan, that is, the first of seven levels in that proficiency, but I can pretty much take down anyone, or at least hurt them enough to get away."

"I see. I would like to see this skill, perhaps tomorrow?"

"Actually, Elrohir has issued a challenge, for tomorrow morning…"

"I'll be there."

"Interesting." Elrond wrote something down. Then, with a hefty sigh, he looked to Tira, who was watching him and grinning in an unsettling way.

"Tirananniel." He said.

"Lord Elrond." She intoned.

"Skills?"

"Many." When he didn't rise to the bait, she sighed. "Languages, culinary, some music, some martial arts, metal-, gold-, silver-, and other jewelrysmithing, glass molding and blowing, herbology, some healing arts…"

"Don't forget _annoying_." Glorfindel muttered.

Slightly -_slightly_- impressed, Elrond wrote it all down. "Hobbies?"

"Pretty much the same, with the addition of reading and artwork. For instance," she said as she leaned forward and began hiking her sleeve up. Since she'd never been seen without something covering her arms, Elrond was slightly curious and a lot afraid of what she was about to show them. "I designed this."

She bared her left bicep to show a swirling, circular design with only the slightest hint of colour on her pale arm. It was unique and rather pretty, he had to admit to himself, if odd. Even Glorfindel felt the pull of curiosity as he craned his neck to see it.

"It's called a tattoo, ink inserted into the first couple of layers of the dermis. Quite permanent. But anyway, I designed it."

"I see. Interesting."

"You say that word a lot."

"Do I?"

"Uh, that would be why I said you did…"

"Moving on. Anything you want to particularly study?"

"I want to work with your smiths and carpenters."

"You would trust her with a hammer, Elrond?"

"Hush Glorfindel. Do you know anything about carpentry?"

"Some, mostly from watching my triplets work."

"Your…triplets?"

"Yes, three friends of mine that are brothers. Ash is a woodworker, Az is a leatherworker, and Gabriel does a lot of different things."

"I see. Interesting."

"There ya go again…"

"Pardon?"

"_Interesting_. Everything is either precluded or ended by an _interesting_."

"I apologise that my mode of speech does not meet with your approval." Elrond replied dryly.

"Well, good."

He shook his head. "That will be all. Go amuse yourselves."

It wasn't until they'd left that he realised he'd pretty much given the redhead a blanket invitation to create havoc. This time he really did lay his head down on his desk.


	18. That's Sharks, With A 'K'

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

That's Sharks, With A 'K'

"Urrggg…" Tira moaned. There was this annoying, bright light blinding her and she wasn't happy about it. "Turneelightoff," she muttered, waving an etiolated hand in the vague direction of the window.

Raina glanced over at her, amused. Her friend had crashed in her room the night before and didn't seem inclined to greet the day, whereas she had been woken by the sunrise streaming through her not-curtained -accidental, that- window and hadn't been able to get back to sleep. Being in Middle-earth for her, after all, wasn't quite a day old yet.

"Urrrrvlehh, light offffff-eerrrrrrrrr."

"You can't shut off the sun, dear."

"Well tell it to dim, then. I'mma sleeping."

"I'd pull the curtain, if that's what you mean, but I don't know how."

Tira's head popped out of the mass of blankets she'd cocooned herself in, squinting in the light at the shadowy figure of her friend. "Hey miss homeschooler, figure it out, smarty-pants."

Raina snorted. "I'm not wearing pants, smart or otherwise," she retorted. "And I would, but I'm busy enjoying the scene."

"Scene shmeen, it'll be there tomorrow." The reply bravely fought through the pillow it'd been mumbled into.

"Yes, but I must be functional today, not tomorrow."

"What's today got to do with anything?"

"I've got…an appointment." She hid a grin.

Again, Tira's head popped up. "Appointment? My my, but you move fast. Hasn't even been a full day. Well, then." The redhead bounced up and settled into the lotus position. "What _kind_ of appointment?"

"Appointments that do not have Tira's concern appointed to them." Another voice interrupted before Raina could reply. Eltara breezed in, without so much as a knock or a by-your-leave.

"Bleh, whaddya want?" Tira grumped.

"Oh, you know. The usual. Drag any late sleeper from their bed."

"Late? It's not even breakfast time!"

"Yes, well, late. As I said." Eltara nodded sagely. "Those who sleep through breakfast, well, well. We need a stronger word than _late_ for that. Let's see…" She tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Normal, well-rested, blissful…nonEltaraian."

"Eltaraian?" Eltara grinned, rubbing her hands. "Oooh, sounds official!"

"It's official, alright. It's official you better scamper off or I'll sic Ro on you!"

"You do that." An almost feral gleam entered the Canadian's eyes.

Tira sniffed. "Well, I won't. Because he's my elfie, and I loves me my elfie. Eltara no touchy."

"Oh, well, in that case. Don't mind if I sit for a moment." She perched on the armchair, flashing a grin at Raina.

"No, don't. I'm trying to talk to Raina about secret Raina things that involve secret Raina appointments and silly elfies."

"Who says it has anything to do with silly elfies?" Raina inquired.

"Um, hello. We are surrounded by elves." Tira glanced around at all four walls, the ceiling, and the floor. "I may not always notice everything, but even I can put two and two together that in a place full of elves, what you do involves elves."

"_Silly_ elfies." Raina emphasized.

"Oh, right." Tira admitted sheepishly, then waved a hand. "Right. Exactly. Silly elfies."

"Last I checked, there were but a handful of _those_."

"Precisely! And only silly elfies have silly secret appointments. So tell me, why'd he want to see you? Wait, don't tell me!" She held up a hand for a brief moment. "He…he's…um…he's going to teach you how to braid pretty little daisy chains?"

Far too aware of who Tira was _really_ going on about with her insinuations, Raina merely snorted and glanced back out the window. "I didn't know Ro was into girly things like braiding pretty little daisy chains." She looked back at the redhead. "Tell me, does he do that sort of thing often? Or only when a lot of women are around?"

Tira narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue at the younger girl. "Daisy chains can be manly."

Eltara giggled. "Daisy chains never have a hope of being manly."

"Except on May Day?" Raina asked innocently.

"Maybe." Tira hedged. "And don't you ever let me catch you going maying with Elladan. And I mean maying in the…loose sense of the word. You know, the way giggling, blushing, naughty little boys and girls do when they sneak off to 'celebrate.'"

"I don't go maying. Much less do I know anything about the celebration otherwise or anything like that." Raina shrugged. "So you might want to can the innuendo."

Tira gasped. "Me? Innuendo? Why, I never!"

"Ha! More like: you, innuendo, always." Eltara snickered.

"I am a clean, innocent, young woman that has never had an impure thought." Tira stuck her nose in the air.

"In what universe?" Raina asked in an oh-so-innocent voice.

"In the O Blue One universe, of course, the only universe that _matters_."

"Only in your head."

"Well, yeah. The most intelligent one in this room."

"As if." Eltara replied. "We all know _mine_ is the most intelligent."

"Not that it was asked, but in my opinion you're both very intelligent young women, and neither of you is smarter than the other, you simply have a different array of skills suited to _you_."

"We weren't talking intelligence like brain smarts." Tira smirked. "We were talking intelligence like super secret universe spies."

"Uh huh." Raina didn't believe it for a second.

"Well, it sounded good in my head."

"You know what sounds good?" JRH interrupted the discussion from the open door. "Food. In our tummies."

"When did you get so serious?" Tira wrinkled her nose.

"When everyone else decided to go on holiday and bunches of elves started noticing too much."

"Too much what?"

"Oh, just too much." JRH waved off, grinning.

"Is this a party? Got food?" Cal's head appeared over JRH's shoulder.

"Nope, and nope. This is a social gathering and we have victuals." Eltara answered.

"But isn't that…" Cal began, confused.

"Of course it isn't what you said. You said party and food, she said social gathering and victuals. Simple English." Tira piped up.

"There should be an asylum for all of you verbally insane." JRH muttered.

"There is." Raina answered. "And you're the counsellor."

"No way. I did not sign up for that."

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Kel inquired, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

"Veggietales." Tira retorted.

"Veggie…tales? Do I even want to know?" One of the twin's voices filtered in from the hall a moment before he also made an appearance.

"Oh!" Tira started to smile, then flicked at an invisible pillow feather, a miserable, half-hearted scowl pulling at her lips instead. "Hello, Ro," she muttered.

"Good m-m-m-morn…uh…" Elrohir's eyes had been scanning the room but when addressed so sullenly had looked towards Tira and his train of thought crashed spectacularly (made front page news!).

"Now, now, Ro. You ought to know better!" Eltara tsked, wagging a disciplinary finger at the elf. "The lady's in her nightclothes—can't you see that?"

"Ahm…" Ro took the opportunity to look elsewhere, but all could see him trying desperately not to look. Tira glanced down at the gown and shrugged. It wasn't _revealing_; back home she'd be wearing shorts and a tank, or, if it was warm enough, nothing but panties. Now _that_ was revealing. This gown, though, wasn't.

Elrohir -Valar bless him- was blushing and trying to find some way to excuse himself, but the very errand that had brought him here in the first place hadn't been accomplished…even if it wasn't so much on his mind anymore…wait, errand…his errand. Right!

Turning his attention to Raina, he'd opened his mouth to address her, only to stop again and blush harder. All too aware that everyone was watching and could plainly see his blunder and his blush, he stuttered something about a fight as he tried to make quick his escape.

Much to the prolonging of his enduring embarrassment and the girls' amusement, as he back-pedalled to leave the room in a very big hurry injected into his embarrassed mumbling was a doubled, painful-sounding "oomph!" as he ran into his brother.

Never one to miss an opportunity and capable of spotting one a mile-away, Eltara was in the doorway in a flash, making various exclamations, among which "ooh, ya bumped your noggin" and "would you like help up?" were the most prominent.

Finally, one of the twins answered in a long-suffering voice, "No, Eltara, we do not."

"Oh, well, good. I would've been concerned if you did. You bumped your bottoms, knocked noggins, but you know, that's not all that bad. One time, I got a bumped noggin. Headache, that. Of course, I've also gotten bumped bottoms, but bottoms aren't appropriate discussion, bumped or otherwise. But probably most especially bumped."

As she rambled, Eltara shifted out of the doorway in an apparently unplanned move, and at that moment, Elladan looked up from helping his brother up and straight across the room to Raina.

"Did you come here for a reason?" Tira piped up, and everyone could practically hear her salivating as she searched for a reason to tease the elf in her inexplicable way.

"I…ahm…yes…yes, I see a dre—er, have a reason…"

"Well?" The redhead pressed, her eyes flicking between Raina and the elf. The smirk on her face said she knew exactly what was running through his mind.

Raina, apparently, understood too, for the embarrassment was clear on her face. "Does anyone, uh, have a dress I can borrow? I haven't had any made yet…"

"Dress…yes, you should…get dressed. Ow!"

Dan turned and glared at his twin, who returned the glare with an obviously reproachful look. Both, however, were very red and very flustered.

Ro glanced back at the girls and mumbled, "We're just…we're going to go." And he pulled his brother away.

"Well, that was…weird." Tira declared.

"You're in your nightclothes, you have no underclothes, what do you expect?" JRH asked. "The poor elves."

"Actually, they're rather well-to-do. I don't think they have a mite of financial woes." Eltara noted offhandedly.

JRH snorted and shook her head. "Kay."

"Kay? Kay _what_?" Eltara tilted her head in feigned but perfectly executed confusion. "The letter before L, the letter after J? Did you know that in 'jk,' K stands for 'kidding'? So your reply is 'kidding'? Or K as in potassium? Do you need some Special K in your breakfast? K, as in I can K-O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks has K in it. I wonder if Ran knows that. I wonder where Ran is…Toodles!"

Using awesome deductive reasoning, like all great detective predecessors, Eltara found Raniean precisely where she expected to find him. Since she expected to find him wherever he was, this left no margin for error otherwise. That is to say, she found him returning from outdoors, engaged in some very funny, playful banter with Trelan, but since it was not the focus of Eltara's plans, it was not otherwise noted, and she breezed up mid-sentence.

"…you're entirely off kilter, that's what, Ran."

"Kilters are all well and good." She announced without preamble and two sets of creepy, elven stares were directed at her. "But that's all working class, order, chaos and string theories and the blah of the universe. Now, if you wanted to talk about kilts, that might be interesting."

A brow lifted on each face.

"Course, I don't think either of you should ever try _wearing_ a kilt. That just…that just does not compute. You need to have some stunningly beautiful knees to get away with a kilt. Good looking knees are important, so just leave that to the Scottish. Nice-ish people them, I expect. Great sense of humour, lots of zeal for life, and always ready to celebrate. Of course, my only experience would be with Scotty, that is Montgomery Scott, the wonder engineer, also known as a miracle-worker for his excellent repair turnarounds, but that's only because he factors his repair _estimates_ by a factor of four. To keep the reputation, you know."

Silence met her spiel for a moment, then…

"Do you ever make sense?" Raniean demanded helplessly; he was equal parts genuinely confused, morbidly curious, and not quite sure he wanted an answer.

"Does that have anything to do with making change?" the girl asked blankly.

"No, it does not." Raniean snapped. Trelan cleared his throat, and his friend gave him a look of disgust at the struggle displayed on Trey's face as he tried not to laugh.

"Well, if there is no change to be had, everything will go quite stale." Eltara intoned sadly. "And we can't have that. Good thing I'm here."

"Yes. good thing." Raniean sighed.

"I knew you'd see it that way." Suddenly, she snapped her fingers. "Say, do you have any spare change?"

"Depends." Trelan answered in a logical tone. "What is spare change?"

"Spare change, my dear elf, is change that you have to spare."

Trelan's eyes had narrowed at the _dear elf_ comment, but the mirth was clear about his mouth as he quirked a brow.

"Yes, that explains everything," Raniean answered sarcastically. Valar, he'd been here less than a day and already he knew this girl could rival Mithrandir for crazy. She had a sharp wit, though, he had to give her that—however grudgingly.

"Of course it does. Also, did you know that sharks has a K in it?"

The taller elf, to whom the question was addressed, sighed in long-suffering. "No, I didn't."

Eltara's eyes widened. "How shocking!"

"Not quite. Ever heard tale of sharks in Middle-earth?" a new voice piped in. All three took a look over Eltara's shoulder to see the new arrival. It was Lindelas, come to the rescue of one not-as-yet-grateful Wood Elf and his not-so-helpful companion.

"Well, just cause I've never _heard_ a tale, doesn't mean there _aren't_ any. It just means no one has ever lived to tell about it. I mean, only tale of other aquatic life mentioned in the Mel—MC is dolphins. But that's future stuff, so never you mind." Eltara wagged a stern finger at the elves.

Trelan, finally deciding to be a helpful friend instead of a laughing one, responded before Raniean could. "Of course," he assured Eltara. "Now, if you'll excuse us—"

"Excuse you? But _why_ would I do that? And _where_ are you going?"

"Eltara, leave them alone. Sorry, guys," Lin apologised, trying to pull the girl away.

"How now, I don't like to be manhandled. Is this because I'm from Canada? Americans! I can speak to all the elves I want, when I want. I've got rights too, you know. A whole _bill_ of 'em. Just like you."

"Of course you do." The next voice to interject was Kim. "But if you don't come quietly, I'll go all history major on you and launch into a lecture on that bill of rights and the Canadian constitution."

"Bleh. I don't think my constitution can handle history lessons. A lot of dead people who did things. Great honk."

"Wait! _Music Man_, right?" Lin asked through a laugh, momentarily distracted from her rescue mission.

"Of course _The Music Man_. I am a piano virtuoso, hellooo! I know my music history! Rodgers and Hammerstein changed the scene of musicals with their awesome dynamic duo writing. How's that for a history lesson." She sniffed at Kim.

Amused, in a good mood, and not to be outdone, Kim smirked. "Did you also know that they—"

"La, la, la. Enough history for one morning. Hey! Where did the elves go?"

For indeed, the place where two very present wood-elves should have been was empty of said wood-elves. In their place, was a very abandoned doorway.

"Looks kind of sad," Eltara muttered, frowning in exaggerated sorrow. Then she brightened. "Oh well. They prolly went to fill hungry bellies. Can't say I blame them. All this history talk has made _me_ hungry. And the kilts. Kilts may have had something to do with it. And Ran seriousity."

Kim shook her head, making a soft sound. "Everything comes back to Ran. Do you have a crush on him?"

"Oh, I don't crush."

"Of course not." Lindelas shook her head and exchanged a glance with Kim. _She's got a big crush_ she mouthed to the historian.

"I saw that, I did. But you know what? I don't care. No, no I don't. It's a Canadian thing."

"It's a Canadian thing to not care or a Canadian thing to fall in love with elves before you even meet them?" Kim mused.

The girl paled and actually looked flustered. "Well, I…I…" For once, the Canadian's tongue had failed her, too. After a moment of floundering and with cheeks suddenly bright red, she huffed. "I most certainly did not fall in love with Raniean or anyone, elf or otherwise, before I met them."

"So you admit that you are in love with Raniean."

"I didn't say that!" she protested weakly, becoming redder. "I just said that I, well…_you_ heard me." Sticking out her tongue, the curly-haired girl suddenly took off, hollering, "Hurry up, my insane friends, or I shan't save any breakfast for you!"

The two stared after their retreating companion for a moment. Finally, Lin broke the silence, musing, "Do you think she realises she's going the wrong way?"

Kim tilted her head, considering. "I'm sure she'll figure it out."

Silence. Then, "Do you think we were too mean?"

A beat. "Nah." Kim shook her head. "It's good for the moony dreamer. She needs to be put off balance every now and then."

"That was…"

"I know." A red-faced Elrohir waved a hand in his brother's direction.

"But they…"

"I _know_." Elrohir said again.

"What do you know?" Aragorn asked suddenly as he silently snuck up on his brothers.

"Um…"

"Yes, what _do_ you know?" Legolas schmoozed along behind the ranger.

"I know what he knows. Would you like to know what I know he knows?" Londessa appeared from what seemed like nowhere.

"No! The twins said in unison. Aragorn and Legolas traded looks.

"Yes." the prince replied.

"Oh, well then meesa thinking you just need to go and see for yourselves. But, of course, it's probably gone. Toodles!" She turned and began to skip down the hall, but Legolas reached out and snagged her collar, bringing her to a choking stop.

"Do not play these games with me, uh-" He glanced at Aragorn.

"Londessa."

"Londessa, because I am not in the mood for them. What is it the twins are hiding?"

"Well, when a gentleman walks in and a lady isn't dressed in her proper day clothes, it makes for quite the awkwardness. Too cute, actually. Endearing."

The ranger-elf duo turned in unison towards the twins, who had not used the time to escape as would have been in their best interest.

"She said gentlemen. I can't assume she meant you two, because you aren't gentlemen." Aragorn smirked.

"I beg your pardon?" Elladan looked affronted.

"If I may interrupt, it _was_ them." Londessa chirped.

Legolas glanced back at her. "Yes, we know that."

"But…he said…" She frowned, then suddenly smiled and nodded. "I get it. I haven't had breakfast yet, so I'm a bit slow. Um…toodles!"

This time he let her go and turned back to the twins, who were looking embarrassed and sheepish, as well as righteously indignant.

"Now, let's review." Aragorn smiled winningly. "Miss Londessa said something about nightclothes and ladies. Since she was out here, I can deduce it was not her. Who, Legolas, do you think would put my dear brothers in such a state?"

The elf prince studied the twins, both of whom avoided his gaze. "I think we can safely narrow it down to one or two particular…visitors…"

"It could have been any of the girls, you know." Elrohir piped up.

"Then you admit it was one of our visitors?" Aragorn rubbed his hands together.

"Um, I didn't say that." He replied absently, occupied glaring at his twin who had sharply dug an elbow into his side at his blunder. He rubbed the sore spot, looking sullen.

"Why, of course you did, brother. You said any of the girls. Clearly one of our lovely visitors. So, as I said, let's review." The ranger mused. "We have dear Kel and her sister the chatty SG. We also have the…endearing…Eltara, but she tends to like teasing poor Ran. There is Kim, who knows far more than any person ought about history, and Tea, who I find to be rather quiet."

"We also have, um, JRH…and, uh, JLyH, but I doubt it was her as she is still bedridden."

"It was none of them," Elladan interjected quickly, trying to bypass his littlest brother and the diabolical woodland prince. He had enough of a gracious presence of mind to try to drag his twin with him, but it was this act of generosity that actually made his escape attempt futile.

"Oh, that's fine. We'd already determined that. I doubt it was Lin, as I saw the girl downstairs but a moment ago. As for Cal, she's been scouring the library since daybreak. That leaves the only two logical choices anyway." The grin on Aragorn's face couldn't have been more blinding if it was the sun itself.

"I fail to see any logic in those choices," Elladan bit back, but casting a look at his frantically nodding twin, he amended, "Except, of course, Tira."

The glare he immediately received was not as effective as it might have been were Elrohir not blushing profusely once again.

"Oohoo!" Aragorn crowed. "And where Tira is, Raina's not far. Or is that, where Raina is, Tira's not far? She's stuck closer to her than feathers on a duck since she got here."

"And since we have deduced that it is either Tira or Raina-"

"Or both." Aragorn amended Legolas' statement.

"Or both, and pair it with Londessa's confession of nightclothes..."

"Tsk, tsk. You've been very naughty, and it's not even mid-morning yet. New record, I'd say. Also, how pleased do you think Ada will be to hear about your little scandal with a pair of innocent girls?"

"There was no scandal," a female voice interjected softly. "Just an accident. And I'm sorry." Raina addressed this last to the twins.

The moment he saw her, Elladan coloured like an overripe tomato. He gave her a hurried once-over, noted that she was dressed for a workout, and the thoughts that accompanied that realisation made his brain stutter.

"I…I have to go…um…go." He stumbled backwards before turning and hightailing it.

Raina watched him go for a second before glancing at Ro with an extremely apologetic look on her face. "Sorry," she repeated.

Amused at his brother's expense, still slightly embarrassed himself, but in a somewhat better frame of mind than he had been the night before at dinner, Elrohir just shrugged and offered her a (very small) smile. "It's not your fault."

Aragorn, still in the spirit of teasing his brothers mercilessly, nodded. "Of course not. My brothers just never learned to knock."

Elrohir stuck his tongue out, childishly, and ignored him otherwise. "Are you ready, then? Shall we go find Glorfindel?"

"Of course." Raina smiled. "I suggest we go now before-"

"What's this? My sister, canoodling with my elfie? Tsk." Tira's voice drifted into the group. "No, really, what's up? I mean, first you put on _pants_, then you try and sneak away, as if you were trying to _hide_ something from me. You know you can't hide things from me."

"Before Tira finds us." Raina finished with a chuckle.

"I could be offended that you're trying to keep things secret. But I won't be. Besides, I already know what you're up to. I'm not _dumb_ you know."

"And just what is it we are up to?" Raina asked sweetly, indulging her friend.

"Duh, you're going to spar with the elf. See," Tira grinned, "I'm not dumb. I find things out. That and I asked Glorfindel."

"More like harassed him." Aragorn chuckled. "So that's why you were following him around yesterday."

"Harassing, asking. It all amounts to the same thing if I get the answers I'm looking for." Tira shrugged. "See, I saw Ro talking to him, and he gestured to you, so I knew something was up, so I just _had_ to find out. And I did. And we ought to go or you'll be late for your own fight."

"Oh, well, we can't have that." Legolas interjected. "I'm a bit disappointed that no one bothered to tell _us_ about this exercise, but since we're all here now, I don't see why we can't all watch."

"Oh yes." Tira grinned and clapped her hands. Raina gave the red-head a searching look and Tira winked at her, nodding her head almost imperceptibly towards Elrohir and making Raina giggle as she realised what had Tira so excited - she was going to get the chance to razz her elf while watching him in action; what could be better?


	19. Do Elves Know How to Facepalm?

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Do Elves Know How To Facepalm?

Better, it turns out, comes in the form of a retreating elf being waylaid by a legendary Balrog-slayer and impelled to play judge of the combatant skills of the very girl he was trying to steer clear of.

Why yes, Elladan, the powers that be _are_ out to get you. And so is Tira.

As soon as the redhead caught sight of the older twin down on the practice fields with Glorfindel, her awesome morning went from _excellent_ to _even more excellent_.

"Ooh! Icing!" She grinned, rubbing her hands together gleefully.

Raina chose to ignore her; she simply shook her head, knowing full well already that Tira was like a dog with a chew toy when it came to ribbing and goading Elladan. All the blonde hoped was that she could keep her head on straight and focus on the fight.

"Nervous?" Elrohir suddenly asked.

The girl gave a start, then hooked a thumb towards Tira. "Trying not to be concerned about _that_."

"Ah," he murmured, inclining his head, as if he actually understood the problem.

"Why, hello, Dan. Didn't expect to see you here. I should've. Not all that surprising." Tira grinned up at the elf, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Elrohir quirked a brow. "Why _are_ you here?" he queried, bemused. Dan in the same locale as Raina wasn't expected, after all.

"Glorfindel." Was the intelligent response, for all that it was muttered.

"To assess?" Ro guessed and Elladan nodded.

"Assess?" Raina asked, looking confused. "Assess what?"

"You, obviously, chicka." Tira insinuated.

The older twin uttered a soft, disgruntled sounding noise as his brother turned to answer the question of the girl who was currently giving her redheaded friend an un-amused look.

"Actually, she's correct." Ro explained. "He's here to be a second pair of eyes."

Tira had really only been teasing, but at the confirmation, she pumped a fist in the air. "Buttercream!" She shouted happily. "The best icing _ever_!"

"That's very nice, but you," Glorfindel emphasized, coming over, "will wait over there, with them." He pointed to a suitable distance several yards away, beside Legolas and Aragorn.

"Huh." Tira murmured, glancing over there. "With them? I wait with them?"

"Yes."

"Alrighty." She smiled brightly and hop-skipped over to the wary ranger and his laughing companion. "Hiya, Estel."

Glorfindel let her be -_bother Estel, not us _was his feelings on the matter- but when he turned his attention to the matter at hand, he found that his new "student" was preoccupied.

After a moment, she looked at him and tilted her head at Tira. "You do realise she's up to something?"

Worried, the Balrog-slayer looked over, but Tira was chatting amiably -Aragorn wasn't incensed yet, after all- with the ranger and elf-prince. She didn't appear to be planning anything. Her current companions were more responsible than that, anyway. He shrugged it off.

"She's there for now. We'll deal with anything else later."

Raina shrugged, indifferent to the decision. What did bother her, however, was the cold distance of the older twin, who didn't even acknowledge her in passing. She was used to being looked over, but in a situation where there were only three other people around and a cursory, _chance_ glance was common? It was like she didn't exist at all.

The next moment, Glorfindel was leading her away, and she tried to put it out of her mind, but with Elladan's aloof, detached way of treating her, it made her feel sick with nervousness to know that he had to watch her and _assess_ her, her competency. She wouldn't consider herself exceptional at what she does and she wasn't out to impress anyone, but the thought of being so harshly judged made her wish she _could_ be impressive, just to save herself the embarrassment.

Elrohir, who was supposed to follow Glorfindel over to the area for the fight, paused beside his brother, fighting back a scowl as he bumped Elladan's shoulder. "You do realise you _will_ have to actually _look_ at her to evaluate anything?"

Even as Elladan turned a glare on his twin, Elrohir had already shouldered past him, muttering, "Valar, Dan. Quit being an ass."

"Ooh, he's right, Dan. Yes, he is."

Suddenly, the proverbial (and perpetual) thorn in his side materialised at his elbow, head craned back to grin that infuriating grin of hers up at him. That look alone spelled trouble.

"You're supposed to be with Aragorn and Legolas," he ground out.

"Use your eyeballs, Elladan. I am. They're right here." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder at the two, whom she had somehow convinced to move over here, beside her favourite target.

He rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Speaking of eyeballs, they're supposed to be watching _her_."

"I _know_ what I'm supposed to be doing, Tira. And it has absolutely _nothing_ to do with what you keep insinuating."

"Oh yeah? What _do_ I keep insinuating?"

Elladan's jaw worked for a moment, then he finally ground out, as if the words tasted bad to him, "It has nothing to…nothing to do with _ogling_."

"Nothing to do with ogling? Oh pish. Keep trying to convince yourself of that. I saw your face last night." Tira smiled sweetly. "But if you insist you're not ogling, do at least do your job and properly assess this sparring match. I'm quite certain Glorfindel will be asking what you think, and he will not want to hear about how awesome she looks in tight pants."

The elf paled so quickly, Tira had 0.2 seconds to actually fear he might pass out, then she was distracted by a gasping-Legolas and a ranger who had done the same but was now coughing extremely hard as a result.

Elladan's face did a 180, going from white to a dark pumice shade as he scowled, furious. "You will keep your lascivious comments to yourself. _Do not _speak that way again," he hissed.

Tira quirked a brow, seemingly unfazed and as incorrigible as ever, because the next words out of her mouth were, "_Lascivious_? Interesting choice of adjectives there, Dan. You could only be using it in the way of its second definition…"

He snarled. "Leave me alone." Whirling around, he stormed away, circling around to put distance between himself and his personal harasser.

"Well how do you like that?" Tira huffed. "Just rude." She made as if to go after him and scold him for this offence.

"Tira, leave him alone." Aragorn's voice was devoid of any mirth and was firmer than she'd ever heard it, carrying an authority she hadn't been treated to before.

Yes, he was definitely going to be excellent at that _I'm the king, obey me _voice, given enough time, she decided.

"As you wish, your majesty." She grinned. Aragorn looked startled and Legolas just _growled_. Tira put her hands up and backed up a step. "Sorry, sorry. Lips are zipped. Hey, look at that! She's got him in an arm bar!"

"Interesting form." Legolas tilted his head to the side as he watched Elrohir deftly extract himself and lock Raina into a new position, which she in turn managed to slide free of.

"Yes, yes. Interesting." Tira shrugged. "I've seen her spar before."

"And what about you? Do you know any self defence?" Legolas asked her, arching one delicate eyebrow.

"Some." Tira hedged. "Enough. But we're not talking about me. Ha! Go Raina!"

They watched as Elrohir tried -and failed- to get free and Glorfindel called it.

"Well, who would have thought. I'll bet he let her win." Aragorn observed.

"And if he did, and she finds out, she'll be quite upset. Raina believes in doing things without cheating." Tira clicked her tongue. "Not to mention, she's good enough to win without it."

She glanced at the elf and ranger and frowned. "She is good enough. Just because _you_ are elves, or raised and trained by elves, means nothing. Where _we_ come from one has to work hard, and constantly, to keep up this level. You can't slack off."

Tira flipped her braid over her shoulder, stuck her nose in the air and marched off to congratulate her sister in a high dudgeon.

"Well. I guess she told you." Aragorn remarked flippantly to the elf prince.

"She meant that for you, too, so don't try to pass blame. You thought Elrohir cheated, too."

"I never said that."

"Yes, you did."

"Maybe I did. So what."

"So what? Well, now she's all contrary."

"And that affects us how?"

Aragorn blinked. "I guess it doesn't. But I don't hold much hope for either of my brothers."

"Exactly. Let the games begin."

"Do you think I can be a neutral spectator, or do you think I ought to help them?"

"Well, depends on whom it is you intend to help."

"My brothers."

"I hate to tell you this, Strider, but I rather think you'll just get in the way. I may not like her much, but she seems to be able to direct things to her precise desire."

And, indeed, it did seem to be that way. Tira stomped over to her friend, unceremoniously shouldered the elves out of the way and gave Raina a hug.

"Congratulations on your win, luv."

Turning to Elrohir, she stood on her tiptoes and shook a finger at him. "You'd better have done that properly, no cheating. If I find out you cheated -and believe me, if you did I will find out- you are a _dead_ elf. Well, not literally dead, but definitely a hurting one."

""Did I not ask you to wait with Estel and Legolas?" Glorfindel let out a sniff.

"I did wait. And now the match is over, and waiting need be done no longer, thus I am _not _waiting, and have come over here."

"Is Estel saying I cheated?" Elrohir looked affronted. "I don't cheat. I'd never cheat."

"Good." Tira's glare turned back into her sunny grin as she turned once more to her elf. "Because cheating is _so_ yesterday's news. By the way, today's news is that I am cooking dinner. So you had better be there, and you'd better like it, otherwise that hurting elfie will be you for not being there, instead of for cheating."

"Celboril consented to let _you_ in his kitchen?" Glorfindel asked.

"It was Celboril's idea." Tira stated with a smirk. What she wasn't saying, of course, was that she had pretty much goaded him into offering the challenge.

Glorfindel muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Eru preserve us," and Tira murmured, "Hear, hear," grinning brightly.

"And what is it that you are making that I am supposed to like?" Elrohir asked, wondering -not for the first time- why he was urging her on.

"I don't know yet. It depends on what Celboril tells me I'm allowed to touch." Tira winked at him. "Don't worry, I won't poison _your_ portion."

"Well, I feel so reassured." He muttered dryly.

"You ought to." Tira looked hurt. "I mean, here I am _trying_ to be nice and all. That's rare form for me, you know."

"I don't know why I am even listening to this." Glorfindel sighed. "Where did you chase Elladan off to, you wretch?"

"Well how am _I_ supposed to know where he goes to sulk? I am _not_ his brother's keeper." She hooked a thumb towards Elrohir.

"I did not say you were." Glorfindel resisted the urge to bury the girl right theren and turned to Elrohir, who shrugged.

"He said nothing to me."

They turned on their silent fourth member, who also shrugged. "He was…brief." Raina said carefully. "He said he'd talk to you later."

The balrog-slayer frowned, really, really not happy. This was not like Elladan; the older twin was usually much more focused and assiduous.

"Well then. Where do you think he'd go?" Tira aimed the question at Raina.

"Um, I don't…maybe riding?"

"Probably." Tira shrugged. "Our consensus is riding. It is up to you to verify the truth of that. Good day." She went to walk away before pausing and looking over her shoulder. "And Elrohir?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be late for dinner." She resumed her walk towards the house, probably to attend breakfast.

"Bossy little wretch." Glorfindel snorted. "Don't be late for dinner indeed."

"Tira is…Tira." Raina tried to apologise for her friend. "It amuses her."

"Amusment or not, she is rude and not very well liked."

"I like her." Elrohir piped up, before turning red. "Uh, I mean…she's not so bad once you get used to her."

"Raina, do run along and get some breakfast. I would like to have a talk with the young one here."

Raina nodded. "Thank you for overseeing us, this morning. And Elrohir, thanks for the opportunity to show my skill."

"Anytime." Elrohir answered, not looking forward to the "talk" Glorfindel had just threatened. "Enjoy your breakfast."

She spared a glance over her shoulder to see Glorfindel leading the younger elf away and hoped the elder wasn't too hard on him. She'd known that, like her, he was just trying to defend Tira and her wild ways, but she also knew Glorfindel had taken it out of context.

As for Tira, she genuinely hoped that Elrond's schedule would help temper her a little better. They ought to be receiving schedules at breakfast this morning, in fact, and she was curious as to where Elrond assigned them first.

She arrived at the dining hall and found a seat. One of the servants set a plate before her and she thanked him. He gave her a smile, but did not speak as he turned to his duties.

"Hey, Raina." Kim's gentle voice came from her left elbow. Glancing over, she saw Kim trying to hand her a piece of paper. "Lord Elrond asked if I could hand these out. They're our new schedules."

"Oh, thank you."

"No problem." Kim said as she walked off to continue her task.

As she ate she examined the schedule, noting that the penmanship was very feminine, and more to the point, in English. Elrond had asked one of the girls to help, obviously. She also noted she had been placed with Tira, as expected. For some reason everyone assumed she could control her friend, where Raina looked at it as just knowing which buttons to push.

"Ladies, if you will attend." Elrond was at the head of the long table. "The paper that has been handed to you lists each group, the times each class will be held, and your own personal schedule. You will not deviate from this schedule for any reason, nor from your assigned groups. After your last class, you will have three hours of free choice. This is _not_ free time, which you will have after supper, but a period in which you may pursue something, such as gardening or further study in something you did in a class. Are there any questions?"

"I already _know_ how to speak Sindarin, and some Quenya." Tira grumbled. "Why do I have to attend that?"

"Because I said so."

"Well, you're definitely a parent." She responded to his terse statement. "Do you think Erestor will teach me proper Westron, or something cool like that instead?"

"Perhaps."

Tea's hand shot up and Elrond raised a brow. "Yes, well…um, I have a question." She announced and he nodded, already having gathered that. "That is, I was wondering…well, how in the name of Marvel comics do you garden in the _winter_? Like, you can actually do that?"

"Greenhouses, Tea." Kim smiled. "They're called greenhouses."

The girl's eyes widened. "Is _that_ what those are? For gardening? Psh, silly me. I never paid enough attention. Do Elves have greenhouses?"

As this last was addressed back to him, Elrond replied, "What is a greenhouse?"

"It's…a glass building, generally." Kim explained.

"With a metal frame," Londessa inserted.

"Yes, a metal frame."

"Or plastic; it's not always glass."

"Yes, thank you. They range in size from sheds to large buildings."

"Miniatures are called cold frames," Tira piped in.

Kim nodded. "Didn't know that, but good to know. Anyhoo."

"The frame's not always metal." Tira pointed out.

"Are you reaching a point soon?" Elrond interrupted.

Kim shook her head. "Yes, sorry, sir. I was trying."

"Very well. And this building's purpose is?" Although, he was beginning to suspect…

"Well, it is transparent and allows the sun's rays through, so that you can grow plants inside even when it gets cold outside."

He nodded. "We call them indoor gardens, and we have several buildings dedicated to such."

"Oh, okay." Tea smiled and sat back, feeling sheepish.

"Any more questions?"

Everyone glanced around at each other, but just as it became apparent that no one had any questions, Tira got it in mind to not let the elf-lord off so easily. She shifted in her chair and nodded. "Yes, yes. I have one."

"Another one."

"Yessum, another one." She grinned at Elrond. "But don't worry, I'm not going to ask you an impossible to answer question, such as who's Nick Fury."

"How considerate of you."

"Oh, I know. So, anyhow. You have three sons, no? Ro, as we know, is somewhere around, being generally himself and all that. Aragorn's skulking somewhere, I'm sure, being generally his ranger self. Lurking and being on the sidelines and hanging with the prince. But _where_ is the other? You know, Elladan? He's got that disappearing act down pat. Should probably bear down on that—stat, my dear elf-lord, stat."

JRH shook her head. "It's not like he's administering a drug for it, Tira."

The redhead's eyes widened slightly as she mused, "No, but maybe he _should_. You've got some good drugs for that, don't you? Right? Not to knock him out, of course; noooo, not at all. Just to slow him up, confine him."

The elf lord stared down at her, and though his face was impassive the air he put out was that of impatience, shock, and all around confusion.

Raina sighed. "Tira, there will be no drugging of anyone…_whether or not that's Elladan_."

"Fine, I'll keep that in mind when you're injured and need some decent drugs to take care of things. No drugs, lovey. No drugs."

"First, Tira, she is correct. You will not drug anyone. Second, if anything need be administered, you do not make those decisions."

"It's whatever the resident healer says goes." Eltara nodded.

"Indeed." Was the only reply as Elrond stood. "Now, finish your breakfast and report to your first task promptly."

He wasn't happy, to say the least.

"Doobeedoop…Doobeedoop…"

Not. Happy. At all.

"Doobeedoop…doobeedoop…doobeedoop, doop, doop."

"Eltara, be quiet." Aragorn warned.

"Doobee—oh. Sorry. Did I scare away the tracks?"

Raniean snorted. Definitely _not_ happy. He was just the messenger. Why had he been put to work, and really, who'd decided this one needed to be taught these skills? She couldn't be quiet for thirty seconds!

"We haven't started." Trelan pointed out. "We can't, because you won't be quiet."

"Oh, sorry. Zipping the lip."

Kel shook her head. "So, what exactly are we doing?"

Valar, this was going to take _all_ day.

"Oh my!" Londessa gasped. "_You're_ Erestor?" She seemed distinctly uncomfortable.

JRH frowned, but noticing how uncomfortable this elf before them looked, she felt the colour drain from her face as she realised. This…_this_ was the elf Londessa had walked in on? _Erestor_?

"Yes, I am _Master_ Erestor, to you." He looked at the three girls in front of him. Where, exactly, did Elrond expect him to begin? At least with the Lord's children they had grown up speaking Sindarin...all he'd had to do was teach them how to read and spell. But this...what _was_ he supposed to do?

"Does elvish have, like, a real alphabet?" The one called Londessa asked. "I mean, like, A, B, C...?"

Erestor sighed. He would have preferred to ignore this particular girl, but had not been given a choice in the matter. When Elrond had asked him why he was so...aggrieved...at the schedule, he hadn't been able to answer. And here he was.

"We use a writing system we call _tengwar_," he began.

"What's that mean?" SG piped up.

He resisted the urge to groan. It was going to be a long day.

"Caranthir?" A nervous Tea asked the journeyman cook assigned to her. "Do I really have to, you know, touch the raw meat?"

JLyH, who had been carried down and sat at a small, out of the way table, looked up. "Tea, it's not that bad. Just think of it as really tough clay or play-doh."

"Except it's _not_." She stubbornly insisted. "It's _raw meat_."

Caranthir shot a glare across the kitchen towards his master, Celboril, and gritted his teeth. "Yes, you actually have to touch it, else how will you do anything with it? We do have sinks to wash your hands after."

Tea shook her head. "Can't I make bread or something?"

The elf sighed. He glanced at Kim, working with Taesel on the baked goods, and was instantly wondering what he'd done to be saddled with this...this..._female_.

"Oops. How silly of me." Came from JLyH's direction. "Does anyone have a bandage?"

Caranthir wanted to run far, far away.

Elrond was not amused. In fact, he hadn't been since his sons returned a fortnight ago, Legolas and eleven girls in tow. That number had increased since, but that last had come in with his advisor and that enigmatic wizard.

He folded his arms and addressed his eldest. "Elladan. Care to tell me where you've been all morning?"

"I was…out."

"Out." Elrond repeated flatly. "Out where?"

"Riding."

"When your presence has been required here."

"Nobody told me."

"Maybe if you weren't full of such flighty energy…" Gandalf put in his two cents. "You need to settle down."

Elladan sent the incorrigible old wizard a scathing look. "When and with whom I settle down is none of your concern."

"If you insist." Gandalf replied amicably.

"Elladan, you have responsibilities. Currently, these responsibilities include helping Glorfindel train the females _you_ brought home to a passable weapons use."

"Ada…do I have to?"

"I'm not in the mood, Elladan. _Go_."

"Why me? Why not Elrohir? He likes them better."

"Your brother has the same assignment, as does Legolas. And Estel is working with the Woodland elves. Even Erestor has consented to teach them. Do not start slacking now." Elrond sent his son a warning glare. It didn't happen often, but every now and then, Elladan would cross him, and he would not put up with any obstinacy from him today.

Elladan, seemingly understanding his father's ire, gave a stiff "yes, sir" as he turned on his heel and left. Once out of Elrond's sight he slowed down. He was in _no_ hurry to go help any of those girls, even the less annoying ones like the intelligent Kim, and it would be a cold day in Harad before he happily followed through on _that_ duty.

As he got closer to the archery field he heard Glorfindel roaring; the balrog slayer was probably wishing he had said balrog again, instead of those females. It wasn't until he crested the slight rise that he realised just _which_ group it was that had Glorfindel in such a temper.

All thoughts of sneaking back to the stables he'd so recently left were dashed when one of the two people he most definitely did not want to see happened to look up the rise and saw him there. Even though the girl quickly looked away her movement caught the eye of the second person he did not want to see.

"Oh _Elladan_! Yoo hoo! Hey crusty old dude, look! Elladan is here!"

"Tira, must you be so crass?" Lindelas asked as she sighted and loosed an arrow.

"I'm not crass, I'm awesome." The girl replied with a grin.

"Elladan! Front. And. Center." Glorfindel boomed.

Stiffly, and with much apprehension, he headed down the hill towards the small group. Elrohir busied himself with Raina, distracting her with methods of holding the bow and nocking the arrow, but Tira sidled closer to Glorfindel, her typical grin decorating her face.

"Tira." Legolas's tired but still stern voice stopped her. Elladan was grateful to the prince.

"What? It's not like I can _do_ anything with this stupid arm."

"You can come back over here with me and learn how to properly care for these weapons."

"Hmph. How _not fun_. I know how to care for my sword."

"Yes, well, since you can't swing it-"

"Right now." Tira qualified, amending his sentence.

"As you wish; since you cannot swing it _right now_, and you are unable to hold a bow, there is very little else for us do with you."

Tira set to polishing the blade Legolas set in front of her, but could do nothing for the looks she kept shooting in the direction of Glorfindel and Elladan, the latter being severely berated. Legolas did take a few minutes to watch Lindelas shoot; she had fairly good form, though he noticed a few things he was itching to correct. Maybe once Glorfindel was done with Elladan they could switch places and he could go help her.

After studying Lindelas, his gaze swept over to Elrohir and Raina. Now _there_ was a girl who really needed lessons. It was obvious she'd never held a bow before today; that was better though, he reasoned, as there would be no bad habits to break.

It wasn't until he glanced back to his charge that he realised his charge was MIA. Immediately his gaze shot towards Glorfindel and Elladan. She hadn't moved close enough to be seen by either of them, but was obviously close enough to eavesdrop.

"Tira, what are you doing?" He asked.

"Um…I dropped my cleaning cloth?"

"Way over there?"

"Well, yes."

"Tira, what do you want?" Elladan had turned towards her.

"Well, where should I start?" She blinked up at him from where she was crouched in the grass. "I would really like to have my arm healed. I want to go home. I want some chocolate."

"I don't have time for this. Elladan, you have your instructions." Glorfindel growled. Turning abruptly, he stalked off.

"You got me in trouble." Elladan stated.

"I did no such thing."

"If you hadn't riled me, I wouldn't have gone off."

"Oh, sure, blame me for your hormonal idiocy. If you'd just _confess-_"

"Confess?" Elladan asked sharply.

"Yes, confess." Tira grinned.

"I have nothing to confess." He responded, but couldn't help looking over at Raina.

"Of course not." The statement was dry. She hadn't missed the look.


	20. I Can Do Anything Better Than You

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

I Can Do Anything Better Than You

The girls were almost done with breakfast by the time Tira's "old dudes" showed up. The fact that they were so late had everyone watching them as they took their places. Just before sitting down Elrond stood behind his chair and looked out over the dining hall.

"It has been discussed among myself and your instructors this past fortnight that today you shall be given a day of rest. There will be no classes, but neither are you to run amuck. If you would like to pursue individual activities, this will be allowed."

"A free day? Sweet deal." Tira announced happily.

"This does _not_ mean you are given leave to harass anyone." He narrowed his eyes.

"I don't harass people." Tira grumped.

"I beg to differ." Elladan muttered.

"It's not harassment if it's true, dear elfie." She replied glibly. "All you have to do is confess."

"I said it two weeks ago and I say it now, there is nothing to confess, unless it is my desire to make you be quiet permanently."

"Why, I do believe that was a threat. Did you hear that, my sister?" Tira turned to look at Raina. "Elladan and I are becoming friends; he's threatening me now!"

"Well you do insist on teasing him so. It was bound to happen."

"I didn't think it would take quite this long, though."

"Um, Lord Elrond?" Londessa waved her hand. "Does this mean, like, that you guys, I mean our instructors, have a free day too?"

"To a degree. Some of us do have other responsibilities outside of your keeping." Glorfindel replied to her.

Aragorn and Legolas exchanged looks. A free day? Oh, the possibilities.

"Well, I know what _I_ want to do." Eltara announced. "I want to prove to Kel that I can indeed shoot a bow."

Raniean sighed. He was very much hoping he would _not_ have to be a part of that debacle.

"Oh, yes! That sounds quite fun!" Quiet Tea piped up. "A contest between our different groups, to show what we've all learned!"

"Ooh, of course!" Eltara latched onto the idea. "And Mister Oh-So-Serious Raniean can _supervise_!"

"What?" The elf in question stared at her. "I did _not_ agree to that!"

"I think it is a splendid idea." Legolas grinned at his friend.

"It is, at that. And I think you guys should watch, too. You know, cause this is _us_." Tira proposed. "Ya never be knowing what sort of trouble we can get into with sharp, pointy objects like arrows."

"No kidding." Aragorn's mumble was clearly audible. "I was looking forward to a day without her threatening presence."

"Ah, well, she still can't shoot, so I think you're safe. And you haven't died from her cooking yet, either." Raina assured him.

"It may be a slow acting poison." Aragorn widened his eyes. "It may just not have taken affect yet."

"I haven't poisoned anyone." Tira sniffed, but the unspoken 'yet' was like the elephant in the room.

"I care not how you arrange the day's festivities." Elrond broke into the bizarre conversation. "But there will be no poison or drugging of _anyone_."

"Oh goody. Come on Ran, you can help me choose a good bow to use!" Eltara was out of her chair and forcing the elf out of his as she spoke.

Helplessly he followed, looking back and silently begging for help. Trelan was, as usual, attempting to not laugh while Legolas and Aragorn just waved.

Having been so unceremoniously roped into spending the day -again- with their charges, the elves and ranger decided they would begin with Eltara's archery contest, then move onto a tracking one. After a bit of lunch would come the theoretical as they showed their lingual prowess, or lack thereof. While the others went to set those up, Elrohir headed for the kitchens to arrange something with Celboril.

He arrived at the archery field in time to see Kel, SG, Lindelas and Kim going up to the line for their first shot. He grinned and settled in to an open spot near Raina, and thus Tira who was rarely far from her friend, to watch. Over the last fortnight Elrohir had learned that the three younger girls had grown up learning archery, and Kim herself was not a bad shot once Legolas had gotten a hold of her. This particular contest would prove to be interesting.

"I have my money on Kel." Tira said matter-of-factly to him.

"You are betting?" He was a little shocked.

"Well, not _real_ money. It's an expression." Tira sent him a disgruntled look, as if he should have known that. "I just think Kel will win."

"Shouldn't you be rooting for your group member?"

"No. I'm not an automaton, you know."

"What is aw-tom-ah-ton?"

"A robot…er…someone who does things automatically, without thought."

"And you do not do things without thinking?" He was attempting not to smirk, as he had clearly seen her act recklessly over the month since they'd arrived.

"Oh, no. I think about everything." Tira grinned ferally. "I think everything through quite a bit. Practical application of theory."

This earned her a disbelieving eyebrow. Raina, caught between the two, sighed.

"Being able to wheedle a sweet out of Taesel because she wants to get rid of you is not practical application, Tira." Raina said quietly. "It is being annoying until you get what you want."

"Precisely. Practical application of the art of annoyance. Works almost every time."

Elrohir couldn't help but laugh at the logic the girl displayed. She seemingly had an answer to everything, and over the course of her stay had figured out she rarely did things without a reason, including being irritating to just about everyone. She was certainly hiding something, but was quite good at hiding it, which made it difficult to pinpoint its origins; she rarely said much about her private life or past.

Then again, he reasoned, Raina was also very closemouthed about her life. The others occasionally slipped up and said something confusing, such as cameras, or weather reports, or cars -which he had figured out were like carts that somehow moved without the aid of animals- but for the most part were very open about their families, their likes and dislikes, and their day to day life.

"You have such a nice laugh, you know. You ought to do it more often." Tira mused. She added something in a different language that he could not translate.

"Tira, do behave." Raina smiled lightly.

"I _am_ behaving. This is me behaving. I'm not touching, or teasing, or being rude."

"But you _are_ speaking tongues that no one else understands."

"Aye, that I am. Don't be thinking I'll repeat it in English though. I'll admit to being naughty, and such things are not for innocent ears like the elf's."

"I am centuries your senior, dear girl. My ears are far from innocent."

"Of course, you would say that. But if there is something I have studied in depth, it is laws and customs of the Eldar. Do you even know how-"

"Tira!" Raina said sharply, cutting her off before she could finish the sentence.

"What? I was going to ask if he knew…oh…um. Yeah. Never mind."

"What? What is so wrong that you will not even finish asking your question? I have noticed you are not one to usually shy away from confrontation."

"Yes, well. I decided I didn't want to know after all." Tira blushed. "Oh, look, they're done! We missed the whole thing."

"Changing the subject, I see. Well, this conversation is not over, my lady, simply suspended until later."

"Um…yeah." Tira avoided his eyes.

For what was likely the first (and last) time, Tira avoided him for the rest of day, ingratiating herself on the others. He sincerely wondered what her question had been, but figured it wasn't worth pursuing.

The rest of the festivities went well, with someone from each group always doing well. They each had their strengths, and little friendly competitions like this one brought them to the fore, proving that these implemented schedules were doing some good, anyway.

Then it was time for cooking.

"Whose idea was this?" JLyH asked, looking around doubtfully.

"Erm…" Eltara hedged.

"Yeah, _who_ decided this was a good idea?" JRH agreed, her opinion of the soon-to-be disaster quite obvious and Elladan silently seconded that.

"Ah, lighten up. Geez. Who knew twins were so alike?" Londessa wondered.

Tira's hand shot up. "Ooh! Ooh! Me, me!"

Elladan rubbed his head.

"I know lots of things, and I definitely know about twins. Well, sort of. Not being one complicates things, but that's what awesome characters are for…and real life peoples, too, of course. Like they turned out to be." She hooked a thumb at the elven twins.

"Be that as it may," Kim began, "but is it really wise to get all of us in the kitchen together? Like, I know _they're_ alright in the kitchen together," she waved a hand at the elves and ranger, "but all of us? It'll be shambles! _We_ might be shambles. I have no death wish."

"Honestly, Kim," Tea sighed. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Two exits back, in the real world."

"Um, this is a real world…"

"I meant _my_ home, with my computer and my Photoshop. I tell you, I'm definitely feeling very deprived as an artist."

"Ooh," Tira rubbed her hands together, eyes shining gleefully, "When we get back, can you make me a picture of…" She trailed off abruptly, eyes sliding over to Elrohir before quickly darting away. "You know what? We'll discuss it later." She nodded sagely.

"That reminds me." Londessa announced. "Anyone written any good, er, 'fanfiction' recently? As exciting as everything is, I haven't had anything to read before bed." She pouted.

"Watch your fingers," Lindelas pointed out, redirecting the girl to the vegetables she was chopping. "Oh, SG, try this, will you?"

"Sure." SG shrugged, dipping a spoon into the broth and blowing on it before sipping carefully. "Mm…what's in it?"

"Uh…these seasonings, that Trey told me to use." Lin waved a hand at the bottles, labelled meticulously in Sindarin.

"Yeah, I can't read that." SG shook her head.

"Me neither. Ask him."

"That's okay." She still hadn't quite gotten over her nervousness around him or her blooper—that ranger comment a couple weeks ago. She wandered over to glance over her sister's shoulder.

"You know, I never would've thought I'd enjoy baking _bread_." Kel told her.

"Yeah, I didn't see that coming, either."

"Oh! Idear!" Tira hollered from the other side of the room, shooting a hand into the air. "Idear, idear!"

"Yes?" JRH indulged.

"Raina should make apple pie."

"Um…no, Raina should not." Raina shook her head.

"Oh yes, Raina _should_."

"I'd rather not."

"I'd rather you did. And Ro will agree with me. Right Ro?"

"Um…right." He nodded, startled at being addressed, mostly because Tira had been ignoring him so far.

"Let your yes be yes, Ro, and your no be no."

"Yes."

"Thank you. See? Plus, Dan can't say no to apple pie, either. _Right, Elladan_?"

"Ahm, well…I _do_ like pies." The elf hedged, avoiding Raina's direction as his eyes darted around, seeking an escape.

"Then it's settled! Raina will be making an apple pie and I shall help and _you_," Tira pointed at Elladan, "will have the very first piece. And if you don't like it, you will be a dead elf."

"You can't threaten everyone, Tira."

"Yes, I can. Got that elf? I will kill you flatter than dead if you don't like her pie. After all, it's something she'll be making you for years to come."

"Tira!" Several voices reprimanded.

"I do believe I told you to stop saying such nonsense." Elladan grouched.

"And since when do I listen to anything you say? Just remember, confession is good for the soul."

Raina cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Tira, really, that's beyond enough. Can you please stop?"

"Only for you luvvy, only for you."

Elladan didn't know how to feel about that, the fact that the girl was made uncomfortable by Tira's comments too, but he was partly relieved not to be alone, though mostly he was just happy the redhead would shut up, no matter which one of them she did it for. He didn't end up having any time to think about it then, anyway.

"Uh oh."

"What oh?" Several heads turned towards the speaker of such doom.

"Lin…_what_ was in that soup?" Kel was examining her sister's face closely.

"I don't know." Lindelas frowned. "They're…you know, labelled so I can't read." She held up a jar as example.

"Is something wrong?" Aragorn asked, concerned, when SG let out a groan.

"_Yes_. Trelan poisoned me." She grumped.

"I did no such thing!"

"You told Lindelas to use those herbs!"

The elves -and Aragorn- were a bit confused. Because the names the girls called certain things and the names the elves had for them were different, they were having difficulty narrowing down what was happening. Aragorn had determined, after SG's accusations of poisoning, that there was something in the mixed herbs that Trelan had given to Lin that was not settling well with SG, but couldn't understand what it was.

"Was it the mîdhaear?" Elrohir asked unhelpfully. "I know some people have troubles with that."

"I don't know what myth-air is." SG complained.

"What are you allergic to?" JLyH asked, trying to stand up. Elrohir gently pushed her back into her chair, shaking his head at her.

"What herbs did you use?" Tira asked, coming over to peer at the jars. "Rosemary, thyme, dandelion—"

"Dandelion!" Kel gasped. "She needs medicine, now!"

"You're allergic to dandelion? Oh. Oh I should have _known_. Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lindelas wrung her hands. "Is there something I can do to help? Maybe a cold drink? Anything?"

"It's alright, Lin." Elrohir assured, as he and his brothers came over to SG.

"What can you tell us about this allergy?" Aragorn asked, glancing at Kel.

"Uh…it gives her a rash and…and she has trouble breathing."

True to her word, SG was beginning to wheeze as Elladan directed her to a seat.

"Normally, we'd just give her a…oh never mind, you don't have that here." Kel frowned, hovering worriedly at her sister's side.

Dan glanced up from the girl, quirking a brow at his brothers. "Lothel?"

Aragorn nodded and raced from kitchen. Tira waved everyone back to what they were doing in the background and Legolas shushed the concerned mumbling.

"SG?" Elrohir asked softly, kneeling beside the girl. She looked at him a little distractedly, trying not to panic and to breathe. "Your sister's going to loosen clothes, alright?" As he spoke, he waved Kel over and Elladan stepped back, out of the way.

As Kel finished helping her sister get as comfortable as possible, Aragorn returned. The girl would not be budged from SG's side, and the ranger and twins quietly worked around her. Within a few minutes, SG's breathing had begun to ease.

"Well, so much for Lord Eyebrows' enunciation that no one was to be poisoned or drugged." Tira stated once the danger had passed. "But this time, I'm innocent!"

"Do you think he'll buy it?" Londessa tried, also, for levity.

"No, but that would be because I have done my work well and he thinks I'd do it and frame someone for spite." Tira shrugged. "But this time I've witnesses. _Right_, Elrohir?"

"It wasn't anyone's fault." Elrohir replied. "It was an accident."

"I am sorry." Trelan said quietly. "Why didn't you tell anyone you had allergies?"

"Who…uses…dandelion in soup?" SG asked slowly.

"Well, my mother does." He answered, confused. "I gave Lindelas her recipe for a cream based nêl-en-raw and chicken soup."

"It's used quite commonly, actually." Elladan explained.

SG sighed, then glanced at Lin. "Never again, Lin."

"I didn't _know_." Lin said again. "He just handed me the stuff and told me how much of each to put in."

"I hope you boys have learned something from this." Tira tutted. "No handing any of the non-Sindarin speakers anything they can't read. Which is everything in this kitchen."

"Well, it's never a complete day without a little excitement." Eltara declared.

"No more of this kind of excitement," Kel replied.

"Oh yes, no more of that. But I was thinking a picnic."

Elrohir's brow rose. "I'm afraid that's impossible, unless your people are in the practice of picnicking in the snow."

"It's snowing?" the Canadian's eyes widened. "I cry 'foul!' It was so lovely this morning."

"Speak for yourself. I find the snow's nice. We don't get snow in Texas; we get slush." Kel was beginning to smile.

"Snow. Bah. Cold and wet, and _such_ an unpleasing colour." Tira grumbled.

"Slush is nastier." Kel replied.

"White is an unpleasing colour?" Cal asked.

"_Yes._"

"But…why?"

"Because it's so blah. Now, a good colour, especially on me, is _purple_."

"Snow would look weird in any colour other than white." Londessa piped up.

"White, green, or yellow snow is still cold and nasty. And yes, Kel, slush is nasty too."

"You know, white has its places," Kim mused.

"Are they really arguing over…colours?" Aragorn asked Legolas.

"Yes. And now's the time for us to…" The prince carefully began inching away; Aragorn, getting the message, followed suit.

Eltara caught the movement and wiggled her fingers at them. "Ah-ah, get back here. You're still our supervisors. See what happens when you're not paying attention for two seconds?" she gestured at SG, who had remained quiet and seated throughout this latest exchange.

"In fact, you should be very concerned when you're not watching us." Londessa piped up.

"You never when we might do something incredibly…stupid." Tea deduced weightily.

"Pirate." JRH shook her head.

"Cop." Tira grinned.

"No, I meant…oh forget it."

"Well, there's no need to be insulting." Tira pouted.

"I didn't…" JRH groaned. "Never mind."

"There you go again."

"Tira." JLyH warned, seeing the flustered look on her sister's face. "Please bear in mind that she enforces the law."

"Ooh, thinly-veiled threats! I see how it is!"

"Picnic in the Hall of Fire anyone?" Eltara asked, completely changing the subject.

"Yes, please." Tira nodded. "Who could say no to that?"

"Good, good. Now, all we need is…Hey! Where did Raniean go?"

Everyone looked around, exchanging glances, and a lot of individual shrugging went around.

"When was the last time anyone saw him?" Cal tilted her head.

"When this whole crazy cooking venture began." Kim answered. "Must've snuck out in the commotion."

Legolas scowled, put out. He'd had to endure all of this and his friend and sentinel had just…left? Without _anyone_ noticing? He couldn't even take two steps!

"Well, how do you like that?" Eltara put her hands on her hips. "Just rude."

When Ran was finally located, it was determined that he'd been holed up in a study, speaking with Mithrandir for the past couple of hours. It'd been a pleasant conversation in the beginning, better than being around those girls, but when they finally found him, he looked like he was between a rock and a hard place.

Go be around those females. Stay and endure Mithrandir's sudden interest in his…_future_.

When Eltara practically attached herself to his side, tsking about his sneaking off, and that crazy old wizard began chuckling, he finally opted to…give in to his friends' rather annoyed glares.

He didn't _quite_ know what excuse to give the wizard, but Eltara excused him for him. "Oh, don't mind us, Gandalf, we're just going to steal him away." And she'd whisked him from the room faster than he could keep up with.

"And that, my friends, is how you rescue an elf from an inquiry."

"Noted." Londessa mused.

"That's very important, Lin. Write it down." Eltara nodded at the girl.

Lin giggled. "I think I'll remember."

"Excuse me?" Ran tried hard to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "Can you let go of my arm?"

"Why?"

"Because you might as well be pulling it out of socket!"

"Oh, sorry. In that case, yes. Definitely don't want to damage you, after all." With an apologetic smile, she let Raniean go. "Now, on to that picnic!"

"Wait, I have a question!" Tira had that grin that spelled trouble on her face.

"Yes?"

"Aren't picnics supposed to be romantic affairs?"

Eltara paused. "What is your point?"

Tira's eyes slid Ran's direction, then she smiled innocently. "Oh, there is none."

Without much more ado, everyone ambled down to the Hall of Fire and settled in with their food, Kel studiously making sure not a single drop of soup came anywhere near SG, who didn't mind being apart from the group a little right now.

Kim had procured a spot next to Trelan, a few questions about a certain time in his prince's (and his own) life niggling around in her brain. One question on history led to another…all very fascinating stuff, eventually gaining an attentive audience in the form of Londessa, Tea, and Cal, but everyone else had their own preferences.

JLyH and JRH were busy chatting it up, revelling in being around each other again. Tira, however, was quiet, clutching a cushion to her chest and studying the (elven) twins very intently, squinting at them and listening in on any potential conversation.

Elladan was wondering how in the _world_ (or maybe _why_) he had ended up near Raina…again. The girl had an inexplicable magnetism, for all that she only spoke when necessary, and it scared him, this not being able to figure it out. Plus, that monkey was still giving him odd looks…

Elrohir, though, had entirely different things on his brain. As usual with his thought process recently, he was thinking about something related to Tira; this time, it was her comment earlier about picnics being romantic. That is, he was until he realised that he and his twin had ended up right next to Tira and Raina, and that his brother was…

"What, does it bother you when Roth touches her hair?" he asked, amused at the fact that his brother seemed to be trying to stare the monkey down.

"Why would that bother me?" Elladan turned his gaze towards his twin. "It doesn't bother me. Should it bother me? It's not bothersome."

"Methinks he doth protest too much, m'knight." Tira mumbled, startling the twins, who, due to their own previous musings, had neglected to realise they were being so intently observed.

"And what is it I am protesting?" Elladan confronted his resident annoyance.

"Oh, I can answer that one, brother." Elrohir chuckled. "Obviously you are protesting the bother you are trying to suppress, badly might I add, about the monkey and Raina."

"The monkey does not bother me!" Elladan said, loudly.

As if he knew what Elladan had said, Roth chattered and swung himself off of Raina, bee lining for the elf. Climbing, the elf's braids making the perfect hand holds, Roth perched on Elladan's shoulder and chattered in his ear.

The very look on Elladan's face had Tira burying her face in the cushion she held, and even Elrohir was having problems keeping a straight face.

"Oh, oh dear. I'm sorry. I think it was your tone." Raina apologised as she scooted over to try and remove her pet from his head. Roth resisted, wrapping one paw in Elladan's braids and smacking at her hands with his other paw.

Recovering his wits enough to try and help, Elrohir worked at disengaging Roth's grip while Raina tried to get a hold on him.

"Well, you know brother," he remarked as an aside, "if it wasn't Roth that was bothering you, you must have been staring at Raina."

"I wasn't!"

"Oh, but you were." Tira nodded emphatically. "Saw it with my own two baby blues. Well, not _baby_ blue…I think they're more light sapphire, myself…"

"You were what?" Raina sat back, confused.

"Um…I was…er…"

"What do you think, Ro? Are they baby blue or sapphire blue?" Tira asked, widening her eyes and leaning close to him.

"Ah…"

When he didn't say anything further she sat back again and focused on Elladan. "It's hopeless to get a capuchin to do what you want it to do when it's upset." Tira remarked as Dan continued to try to remove Roth, in Sindarin. "Or did you do that just to get her over there?"

Elladan growled and Raina pulled back further, looking startled.

"Okay, okay…so maybe it wasn't _just_ specifically to get her over there, but the monkey also does bother you. Why does he bother you, Elladan? He didn't yesterday, when he was grooming JLyH. Only difference being is that this time he was touching _Raina's_ hair…ah! It bothers you because _he_ touches her hair and _you_ want to touch her hair and you can't or…won't." She sighed. "Confession is good…"

"Well, brother…_do_ you have something to confess?" Elrohir was grinning devilishly.

"Just get. This thing. _Off _me."

"No, I don't think I will." Elrohir sat back, folding his arms. "Not until you answer."

"_NO_, I do not." Elladan insisted. "It is yet another one of her annoying idiosyncrasies to insist I have something I must confess."

"Come now, come now, Mr. Elf, sir…" Tira tutted, obviously quoting something beyond the elves knowledge.

"Then why does Roth bother you?" Elrohir ignored her strange turn of phrase.

"He doesn't!"

The monkey gave an angry-sounding shriek and the elf winced, the noise right in his ear.

"Oh, okay. Denial." Tira mused.

"This has nothing to do with her hair!"

Raina sighed, having lost this conversation a while ago when they'd switched tongues, but she'd caught her name, Roth, and definitely a lot of obvious tones. She frowned, piecing together an idea of what was going on in front of her face.

"Look, if you don't calm down, he won't let go." She finally announced firmly. "Whatever this debate is about, can it _wait_?"

"On voli previše da neka znate, voli joj previše pustiti da ode..." Tira said in a sing-song voice. Everyone ignored her, as no one understood the words, though it was obvious she was taunting Elladan.

"_She_ is not helping any." Elladan shot a hand out, pointing towards Tira. Roth shrieked again.

"She can only bother you as long as you _let_ her." Raina answered, softer.

"If you wanted help, you only had to say so." Tira blinked. Examining the bowl beside her she'd abandoned a while before she chose half a banana and scooted closer to Elladan and his unwelcome attachment. "Come on Roth…you want the 'nana, yes you do."

The monkey chattered at her in what seemed to be a questioning tone.

"Tira, may I?" Raina held out her hand for the fruit; Tira shrugged and handed it over. Turning back to the disgruntled elf and his tagger-on, she held it up and pointed at it. "Roth, down. Now." She said firmly.

Roth immediately hopped down, climbing into Raina's lap and snatching up his treat.

"See, always bring a banana to a party." Tira said triumphantly.

"Why?" Elrohir asked, curious about her choice of fruit.

"Why not? Any advice the Doctor gives you ought to take, and if he says to bring a banana, then you ought to bring a banana."

"Doctor?"

"Yes."

"Doctor who?"

"Precisely." She nodded, leaving him more confused.

Raina sighed and shook her head, putting Roth down and scooting him in the general direction of the human twins. Without any more prompting, the monkey took off for JLyH, crawling up onto her shoulder to groom her again, content once more.

As for his owner, she wasn't. She was feeling distinctly disgruntled, not happy with the incessant teasing and still stinging from Elladan's gruff attitude towards her. She'd also gathered that Elrohir had been ribbing in a similar manner to Tira's typical, and she hadn't expected that; maybe she'd figured he was on her side, if in no other way than simply not encouraging Tira's behavior.

Out came the leaves she'd stuck in her pocket that morning.

No one noticed her; Tira and Elrohir were too busy eyeing each other and trying to look like they weren't. (_So that's what 'flirty eyes' are_, she mused.) She didn't figure Elladan was watching her, because he usually just ignored her and only acknowledged her when he had to.

So she sneaked around behind the two, climbed into the chair Elrohir was sitting against, and held her hand out over their heads. "Oh, oops." She said pointedly, oh-so-innocent.

Their heads popped up, Elrohir looking confused and Tira's jaw dropping open for a second before she gathered herself enough and shut her mouth with a click.

"You're cruel, little sister." Tira grumbled, shaking a finger at Raina.

"Yes, I am. And you _know_ what it means, so you have to do it."

"Do _what_, and _why _are you even holding those leaves over our heads?" Elrohir asked.

"It's mistletoe." Tira blushed.

"Yes, I know what it is. That does not explain why she has it."

"Well…in our culture…if you get caught beneath the mistletoe you have to…um…kiss…the person you got stuck with."

"I see. And?"

"And what?" Tira avoided looking at him. For all her teasing and insinuations, being the one in the spotlight was disconcerting.

"Well, aren't you going to kiss me? You've done it before."

"Yes, well…I was worried about you then. It was a heat of the moment sort of thing."

"Well, what was it Eltara said earlier today?" Elrohir mused for a second. "Ah, yes…_anything you can do, I can do better_."

"Excuse me?" Tira was in the middle of saying as he then did what was apparently unexpected. He full-on kissed her.

Elladan's jaw dropped, unable to stop _gaping_. Raina startled and dropped the mistletoe, eyes widening in disbelief. "Well." She mumbled. Or had it been _El_? Dan wasn't sure which, and frankly, he couldn't be bothered to think about it.

Elrohir was _kissing_ Tira!


	21. Kiss and No Tale

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

The commotion in their little corner of the hall had attracted the attention of the others, but Tira barely registered the low murmur of surprise that echoed as she pulled back from the unexpected kiss.

"I…I'm…I'm sorry." She babbled incoherently as she stumbled to her feet and dashed off, practically running into someone as she hurriedly made her exit.

"Elrohir, Elladan, my study. Now." Elrond's deep, and obviously unhappy, voice made Elrohir cringe as he dared to glance over at his brother. Elladan was giving him a mixed look of disgust and jealousy.

"Thank you, my brother, for the trouble you have just given us." Elladan growled in a low tone as he stood up and walked away.

"Do settle, girls. Raina, please do go find her, wherever she may have gone." Elrond issued terse directions, ignoring the exit of his sons. "Once you have uncovered her whereabouts, both of you report to my study."

"Yes sir." Raina replied softly. She had intended the mistletoe as a joke, thinking Tira would give him a cheek peck or something. No one, particularly Tira it seemed, had expected Elrohir to be so bold.

Elrond lingered a moment, staring down the girls, elves, and Aragorn in a silent reprimand before abruptly turning and leaving, whatever reason he'd had for coming in originally circumvented by the scene he had witnessed.

Arriving at his study he strode in, barely noticing the wince that flashed over Elrohir's face as he closed the door behind him. Striding over to the large fireplace, he placed one hand against the intricately carved stone mantle and gazed into the merrily crackling fire.

"Ada…I…I can explain." Elrohir started brokenly.

"Tell me one thing, son," Elrond said quietly. "Who instigated it?"

"Well, to be honest…Raina did."

At that Elrond looked up, rather surprised. "Raina? Short blonde girl? Quiet? That Raina?"

"Well, yes."

"I fail to understand."

"See…it started out with me teasing Elladan…" He slowly explained things. The entire time Elrond observed Elladan's face becoming more and more shadowed as he glared at his twin. So his eldest had been unhappy with whatever teasing had taken place.

"So Tira explained this…custom…and you what, decided it would be amusing? Fun? Did you imagine the consequences, Elrohir?" Elrond asked finally.

"Noooo…" Elrohir hung his head. "It was, er, a heat of the moment sort of thing."

Elrond glanced at Elladan as the elder twin made a noise that sounded rather like a snort of derision.

"Do you have something to add, Elladan?"

"No, Ada."

Elrond sighed and stepped away from the fireplace, rounded the chairs and sat at the desk. "You do not understand what you have done, Elrohir. I forbade you to have relations with the girl for a reason, and yet you have defied me at every turn. Just because I do not tell you my reasons does not mean they are worthless and need not be heeded."

"I _am_ sorry, Ada. I was not thinking, truly."

"I only ask _why_. Why did you do this? Why did you foster her interest? You know she is neither of this time nor this world. _Nothing_ can happen between you."

"Yes, Ada." Elrohir replied in a hoarse whisper, suitably chastised. Beside him Elladan gave a stiff nod.

"Tomorrow morning, my sons, report to Glorfindel before the girls attend their classes. He will assign you both to a project that removes you from the vicinity for a time. Perhaps some time away will give you both the reminder of what you have _here_, and what you cannot have."

"Yes, Ada." They both answered.

"Just remember, my sons, you will find love someday. _He_ has not abandoned you, and you will find her, whoever she may be, in time. Do not dwell on the unattainable."

After they had left, he allowed himself to lose focus and just stare into the flames across from him, until a hesitant knock at the door alerted him.

"Enter."

Elladan was silent until they got to Elrohir's room. Instead of going to the next door over, his room, he followed his twin inside and closed the door, throwing the lock. Elrohir turned, confused.

"You may have ruined everything with your little stunt, Elrohir, do you know this?"

"Ruined _what_ everything?" He was truly befuddled.

"Just…everything." Elladan threw his hands up. "So many things. It was chancy enough, just being _around_ th- Tira, but you've moved one step too far. Did you see the look on her face?"

Elladan was, more or less, thinking of the look on _Raina's_ face, and could not care less about Tira's feelings on the matter, but Elrohir, of course, took it the opposite direction.

"Yes. I…I hurt her, I think, although I am not sure how or why."

"Ada asked a very good question; why did you do it?"

"I don't know. It seemed a good idea at the time. I mean…I really was not thinking of the impossibilities, or the improprieties; I was just thinking that I _wanted_ to, so I_ did_."

"Like you did with - never mind." Elladan cut his sentence off with a snap.

Elrohir's face grew hot with anger. "You know very well what happened, do not even try to pretend you don't!"

They glared at each other for a moment, and when a hearty knock landed on the door Elrohir snapped a terse "come in!" and turned to see who it was.

"Well, you know I would love to, but I can't." Aragorn's cheeky reply filtered in. "It's a bit locked, you see."

Grumbling under his breath about brothers and shooting Dan another glare he strode over and threw the lock, then the door.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Hey! Come in, come in little brother! You're always welcome." Aragorn said. "Ah, thank you Elrohir, don't mind if I do. So nice of you to invite me."

Elladan made a derisive noise and turned away towards the balcony doors. Not amused, Elrohir raised an eyebrow at his incorrigible little brother.

"Anywho, I came to remark upon that _interesting_ display you gave us all downstairs. You _do_ know we all saw it, yes? You are now the talk of the hall, and those woodelves are such gossips."

"More like, _you're_ the gossip, you old hen." Legolas's voice flew ahead of him as he came up the stairs.

"What, is my personal life a party now?" Elrohir threw his hands up.

"Well, if you wanted it to be _personal_ you shouldn't have done it in a room full of people."

"What were you thinking, by the way? You do know she's not from here?" Aragorn peered at Elrohir, as if looking for answers in his glare.

"_Yes_, I know she's not from here. Yes, I know nothing can happen. Frankly, I don't _care_! It meant nothing! It was a joke!"

"If only I thought you meant that." Elladan said quietly to Elrohir's back.

"Oh, what _mysteries_ do you hint at?" Aragorn rubbed his hands together.

"No mysteries, nothing." Elrohir growled as he pushed his little brother out the door, shutting and locking it. "Quickly, out the window before he picks it!"

Allowing a small smile to quirk his lips, Elladan opened the balcony doors and jumped up onto the railing, balancing perfectly as he reached upwards.

Outside the door, Aragorn frowned at the impediment. Glancing over at Legolas he dug in his pocket for something to pick the lock with.

"Did they really think this would stop me?"

"No." Legolas shrugged. "They're probably scaling the wall to the roof as we speak."

"Yes, well, it's not like I don't know how to get up there just as easily as they."

"But do you think you ought?"

"What do you mean?" Aragorn asked just as he clicked the tumblers into the right position and opened the door. Striding onto the balcony he leaned out and looked up, but the twins were out of sight.

"Well, I don't know that you've noticed they've been rather at odds lately. Perhaps you ought to just let them work it out on their own."

"Where is the fun, I ask, where is the fun in _that_?"

"It's not meant to be fun." Legolas said in a low voice. "Sometimes there are things a body just doesn't want to tell the world."

"I, if you have not noticed, am not the world." Aragorn replied as he carefully balanced on the rail.

"No, you're not." Legolas did smile at that. "All I meant is that maybe they have some things to work out before you go butting in."

"I know what you meant, but frankly all you elves are so…_long lived_. If I waited for any of you to work things out, I'd be dead and gone before it happened."

"You are so very curious, Strider. How you ever managed to survive twenty years without me is a miracle."

"Yes…well…I had…family." Aragorn answered slowly, concentrating on his climbing. Finally getting where he wanted to be, and watching Legolas just so happily bounce up 1-2-3 made him stick his tongue out at the elf. "You make it look so easy."

"It is easy."

"Fwah! Whatever." Aragorn chuckled. "Come, let us go find my brothers."

"Was I seeing things? Was it allergy delirium?" SG asked her sister.

"No, no, I think it definitely happened." Kel nodded.

"Elrond was awful unhappy."

"To be expected."

"Sparks! Sparks were flying! I'mma bit shocked the elf let it happen." Eltara put in her two cents.

"I think the elf is the one that instigated it." Cal blinked.

"No!"

"Yes. But quiet little Raina isn't all that innocent."

Raniean and Trelan traded looks and sighed in unison. Trying to stop the gossip was useless, they had realised. Everyone had, of course, known Tira was up to her tricks again, teasing Elladan about something or other, but no one had expected _that_ to happen. What Trelan wondered was if it had been _Elladan_ getting teased, why was it _Elrohir_ that had done it? Aragorn had left, and Legolas had followed; perhaps later he could eke some sort of information out of his prince.

"You asked for me?" Glorfindel settled himself in his favourite chair near the fire.

"Yes." Elrond sighed.

"Oh, it's that irritating girl again, isn't it." Glorfindel grumbled. "She's always at the root of things, like a ground squirrel."

"It is, and it is not, her." Elrond sat back in his chair and shook his head. "No, it is mostly to do with my sons; the twins, that is. Aragorn is, for once, behaving himself."

"There can be miracles." Glorfindel replied dryly.

"In all seriousness, friend, I need your help. The twins need to be sent away for a week or two, outside the confines of where the girls are allowed. For this, I need your help. They have instructions to report to you in the morning."

"And I am supposed to find an assignment for them that will last a week or more before then? Thank you for your confidence in me."

"I am sorry for the short notice."

"What is the cause, if I may ask?"

"Elrohir kissed the girl."

Silence. Finally a piece of wood settling made Glorfindel find his voice.

"He did _what_?"

"He kissed her. I am not speaking of a brotherly peck, either." Elrond responded grimly. "It was the sort of kiss one reserves for their spouse, and unless I have been absolutely remiss over the past month…"

"No, no." Glorfindel negated the idea. "Did he say why?"

"Not as such. Here I thought I had made them understand…where have I erred?"

"I am not the one to ask, to be truthful."

"No, I suppose not. Perhaps the girl can give me a better answer than my son. Do stay and witness."

"As you wish."

She finally found her friend in her last place to check before she tackled the huge undertaking that was scouring the gardens. Tira had staked a claim on the kitchens, no one back in there again after the girls' earlier claim on it, and was…baking apple pie? Well, chopping apples. Furiously.

"At that rate, you might lose a finger." Raina pointed out, coming over to her friend.

Tira startled, then pretended to have not to. "All Blue Ones are very adept in the kitchen, my dear. Never lose fingers or burn hair—"

Raina stuck her tongue out at that comment.

"—or do anything too horrible—" Tira broke off, hissing, as she nicked herself. "Except maybe lose some blood." She commented dryly, snatched up a towel and dabbing at the cut. "But even so, it's not like those injuries can't be taken care of. Skin and bones, it's all manageable."

Raina: "I'm sorry," Raina said softly.

"For what? _I_ cut myself, not you."

"No, I…I didn't think he'd do that."

"You didn't think he'd do that? You didn't?" Tira let out a laugh that held no amusement in it. "Well, neither did I, for all I practically coerced him."

Raina nodded, wanting to give her friend an opening to talk about it, but asking if Tira was alright would just be a stupid, because she plainly knew the redhead wasn't. She also wanted to figure that Tira knew she could talk about it, without Raina having to prod her. Oh, the conundrums of tactfully helping and effectively being there for people.

"So, did you come to help me make this pie now? Shouldn't let these apples go to waste, uh-uh." Tira turned back to the counter; balancing an apple with her still-healing arm, she sliced it neatly with her other hand. "And then I will shove it down Dan's throat." She cackled, but it sounded forced. "Oh yes, I will."

"Wouldn't you rather shove it down Ro's?" She took a chance.

Tira paused, wavering for a moment. "That depends." She finally said. "Do you have any more of that mistletoe?"

"It's in the hall…" Raina answered, wondering why she was encouraging her friend's strange ideas. "But what does mistletoe have to do with it?"

"Oh, it doesn't, not really. I just didn't want to give him an excuse to get the jump on me again, wretched elfie."

"I…see. Well, there's more _outside_, but I'll hide what I had. But anyway, Elrond wants to see us."

"Oh, Lord Eyebrows thinks he can get the jump on me, like father, like son, only not. Well, we'll just see about that, mister elfie, we'll just see. Come, dear. There's an elf-lord needing my presence." Her smile promised no good.

Raina followed her friend, who was making a bee line towards the study. Tira was muttering something under her breath, but it was clearly not in English, so Raina ignored it. Putting on a bit of extra speed, she reached the study door before Tira and politely knocked.

At the command, she opened the door, trying to keep Tira from rashly rushing in. To her surprise, she just sauntered in and settled in one of the available chairs, quiet as a mouse. The atmosphere in the room was daunting, with the heavy looks and unhappy attitudes on the faces of the two elves, but Raina followed suit and sat quietly in a chair.

"Tonight should never have happened." Elrond said quietly.

"You're telling me!" Tira burst out. "I mean, really! You know, I figured he would have learned the first time…"

"The…_first time?_" Glorfindel choked. "You and he have…?"

"What, kissed? Not really. I mean, yeah, I gave him a quick peck when he was all hurt and couldn't run away, but it wasn't a real kiss." Tira shrugged. "No, I was referring to _Elladan_."

"Elladan?" Elrond asked.

"Yes, Elladan. You know, tall, broody and pointy eared…although, that is not a good distinction, since most all of you guys are tall, broody, and pointy eared. But really, he should have gotten the hint the first time."

"What…did Elladan do?"

Tira blinked, as if having forgotten she was laying blame on Elladan for something. "Oh, well, he denied having the need to confess, of course, which got Roth all riled up, so Roth decided to prove some sort of monkey point -monkeys are silly creatures like that, always proving monkey points- and it took all three of us to get him _off_…and then there was the mistletoe."

"Yes, I heard about the mistletoe custom in your world." Elrond shook his head, trying to follow the convoluted story.

Tira went silent as she thought about something for a moment. Finally, looking up at Lord Elrond she earnestly leaned forward and widened her eyes. "If I'd known flirtation was akin to coercion, I wouldn't have done it, you know. I don't…I don't like being forced or forcing people…"

He studied her, sensing something deeper that she was not voicing. "I understand you did not expect for my son to be so…forward?"

"Oh no, not at all. I mean, I figured maybe a small peck on the cheek or something, to get me back for that other kiss…but not this. Definitely not this. Shoulda learned, he ought to have."

Looking over her shoulder to Glorfindel, he knew they were both wondering what this occasion was that the girl kept referring to. Since she didn't seem to be forthcoming, he turned his attentions to Raina.

"I hear you are the instigator. I am surprised."

"I honestly di-didn't mean for that to happen."

"Then what did you intend?"

"I thought he'd, if anything...you know...just, like...a quick peck on the cheek. It can be interpreted that way...the tradition."

"Why even give the opportunity?"

"Well, I...to give them a taste of their own medicine? And I...wasn't thinking things through; I was upset."

"About what?"

"Since I got here, Tira's been teasing Elladan about something, and Elrohir was doing it this time too, talking about me or something, and he's been treating me horribly...something I didn't expect from him."

"Elrohir has?"

"No, Elladan. That was part of what got me upset, he was being..."

"He's been treating her like a leper." Tira filled in. "Not that she'd ever say as much. But that's all part of why it's so easy to tease him…I mean, it's like a _cat_…if a cat knows you don't like cats, it'll do its very best to annoy you."

A sound from Glorfindel had Tira glancing over with an amused smile.

"I am beginning to understand, I think." Elrond nodded as if, yes, he did see. "I shall take this matter into my hands now. Your…services…are no longer needed. Am I clear?"

"No, you're definitely a solid fleshy colour." Tira observed.

"Oh Tira…" Raina shook her head, hiding a smile.

Elrond sighed. "Are my words understandable to you." He clarified.

"Those? Oh, yes. Quite. My services in prodding Elladan like a wayward sheep are no longer required."

"You may go. If you can, please settle your friends down, for I am sure the gossip is spreading like wildfire."

"We will." Raina replied.

After almost dragging Tira out of the room, they headed back towards the hall to put out the flames, while Elrond and Glorfindel discussed the problem that was so much larger than they'd imagined.

"I did see Elladan making a wide berth around her, but he was not altogether too friendly with any of them. It did not occur to me that he was singling her out." Glorfindel sighed.

"Nor I, old friend. I thought I knew my sons. To be certain, neither of them need this sort of emotional upset, but Elladan should most certainly not be treating her so badly, either."

"I think there is more to the problem than him just not liking her."

"Oh, I know there is more to it." Elrond sighed, recalling the overheard conversation. "But what to do about it, I am not sure."

"I do think that she could use a bit of a lesson in self-confidence. I have not noticed that she is all that meek, really, except where Elladan is concerned. She must make a stand if she does not like his attitude."

"I shall leave that to you."

"As you wish."

"It's about time. I mean, I know this roof is big, but _really_ now." Aragorn huffed as he found the little nook the twins had holed up in.

"Aragorn, what do you want?" Elrohir sighed.

"I _want_ to know why you decided to play house with one of our resident ineligibles."

"Because I _can_. I don't know!"

"'Because I can' is not a good answer."

"Well it's all the answer you'll get. I don't know, Estel."

"Do you share the girl's feelings?"

"Do we really have to talk about this? It's been done, there's no changing it."

"I think we ought to. You've never hidden things from me before, why start now?"

Elladan stood up from his crouch. "Tell him what you will, but I will not be party to this."

"Dan." Elrohir held a hand out.

"No, Elrohir, I can't."

They watched him go, but neither tried to stop him. Finally Aragorn settled down near Elrohir.

"There is something you've kept from me." He stated. "No, don't deny it. I've wondered as much for awhile now. Want to talk about it?"

Elrohir remained silent, but Aragorn waited him out. If he wanted to talk, he would, otherwise Estel would just be a shoulder to lean on.

"It was before your time…"


	22. Non Omnis Moriar

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Non Omnis Moriar

Her breath frosted on the early morning air as she trudged through the snow. Fingers and toes protested the chill, but her attention was diverted to other matters as she approached the stables, the doors thrown wide and pouring heat despite the frost outside. She grinned and ducked inside, the warmth of the animals heating the building to a pleasant temperature.

She paused, breathing deeply, relaxing into the familiar smells and sounds, the _feel_ of the atmosphere.

"Morning, Rusedhal!" She called to the elf as she unclasped her cloak and shook the snow from it.

"Lady Kim." He inclined his head at her, sparing her a brief glance as he groomed one of the horses.

"Got anything for me today?" Kim smiled, tossing the cloak on a peg on the wall, it being too warm inside the stable to have any need of it; besides, it would only be in the way.

"I'm sure I could find a task with which to occupy your time." Rusedhal smiled. He had had intermittent interaction with this group his lords had brought back with them; they didn't seem so bad, in his limited estimation. This girl, _Kim Lael_ as she had introduced herself, was rather pleasant, in her own way.

She laughed, approaching the stall. "And then a ride after?"

"Could I really refuse you the opportunity?" He replied, pausing to switch the curry comb for a dandy brush.

"So, who are we exercising today?" Eager to be useful, she'd actually been down here often, building an easy relationship with the stable hands, particularly Rusedhal, who was laid back and not easily put off by her and the occasional interaction with the other girls.

"This restless spirit." He gestured to the horse he was grooming, a huge bay stallion. The animal, though obediently still under Rusedhal's careful hand, did seem to be getting antsy in his confinement. The stallion thrummed with too much energy he needed to burn off.

Kim smiled. "And is there one for me?"

The elf laughed. "Pick one, child. The pinto gelding towards the back is in need of a ride. You know where the tools and tack are. Let me know when you're ready and I'll show you the Crystal Causeway."

"Excellent!" She couldn't contain her excitement. He'd told her about this a few days before, the natural phenomenon. When she bemoaned not getting to see the formations due to the snow, he'd explained about its proximity to a hot spring, which kept the Causeway clear of snow and ice. She'd been enthralled.

Skipping further into the stables, Kim realised she hadn't been so satisfied in a long time. Life had been stressful of late, before coming here, and this was better than any vacation she ever could have dreamed up herself.

She grinned and cheerfully greeted Raniean and Trelan, who were tending to their own horses and exchanging words with each other about dinner the night before. They both gave her a nod and a greeting, before just as easily going back to their discussion. She shook her head, continuing on to retrieve tools to groom whichever mount she chose.

"For the final time, Telraynion, _she_ spilled her drink on me; I did _not_ conduct myself so clumsily."

"As you say, _Randomirion_, but I _saw_ the look on your face just before that; you know, that diabolical one you get when you loosen up a little and get cheeky?"

Kim choked on a laugh as she slipped into the stall of the pinto gelding Rusedhal had suggested. Languidly, the animal lifted his head and glanced at her, before returning to methodically munching on some hay. The gelding barely flicked his ears a little, more out of curiosity for the strange human, as she slipped a rope around his neck, tying him off with a quick-release knot.

These elves certainly knew how to train their horses. While some of the mounts were more high-spirited than others, most were so well-mannered even Londessa, who couldn't tell the broad side of a horse from the backside (that is to say, she knew completely nothing about them), could clumsily fumble her way through an interaction or two.

Picking up the curry comb, she set to with gusto, falling into the familiar rhythm she was used to from tending her own horses back home.

"I didn't…I wasn't…I am never cheeky!" Raniean sputtered. "You have enough insolence for the both of us, Trelan."

"And it was bound to rub off on you; you just don't like admitting it." Trelan laughed, accepting the insult with the ease borne of their many, many years of close friendship.

Kim shook her head, losing herself in the circular motions and listening to the banter. Living the _Mellon Chronicles_…could it be any better than this?

"The girl was put out about her bad day, complaining about gardening getting her all dirty. She wanted another bath; you can't tell me she didn't spill the cider on herself to get precisely what she wanted."

"Circumstantial." Trelan negated, shaking his head.

Raniean muttered something that was unintelligible to Kim's ears, but she couldn't resist adding her two cents. "Eltara is…finicky and flighty." She commented, earning glances her direction. "Most everything's a joke to her. She likely did exactly what Ran says; it's an innocent way of getting some control."

At this, Trelan sobered and tilted his head, as if something had reoccurred to him and he now had a chance to voice his thoughts. "It does make sense. Jumping worlds is bound to be not only disorienting, but it grinds home how little control we actually have over what happens."

"It does." Kim agreed, drifting towards the flanks of the complacent gelding.

"Then what about you, Kim? You seem to be handling this -all of this- rather well. Where some are put out about their schedules and lessons, you haven't said a word."

"We must be here for a reason," Kim said slowly, thinking her answer through. "I doubt it's just to admire the scene. We're here because it's something important; something to learn, some way to grow. I want to come away from this with everything I can possible take, however greedy that sounds." She cast a smile.

"Doesn't sound greedy." Raniean replied. "Wise. Resourceful. Aware of the future. There is nothing wrong with learning all you can while you can."

When Kim and Rusedhal headed out, Raniean and Trelan returned to the house. They'd made it halfway before being ambushed by a flying Canadian and a snowball; the former hid behind Ran, the latter smacked him in the face.

Eltara giggled. "Sorry 'bout that, but hey, you know what, you make an excellent elf-shield for the human. Hope you don't mind."

"Eltara, let go of me." Raniean growled; the girl was gripping his arms from behind, trying to keep him in front of her.

"Only if you voluntarily protect me from the duo!"

"What duo?" Trelan glanced around.

"Tira and Raina. I may or may not have made a comment about a certain errant elf and Tira may or may not have decided to brave the cold for the express purpose of smothering me in snow, and Raina may or may not have agreed to the antics because it's been a long time since she's had a proper snowball fight, and Kel may or may not be on her way out to join, because SG may or—"

"Say _may or may not_ one more time, Eltara, and I will smother you in snow myself." Raniean threatened.

Eltara's eyes widened. "How indefinably rude. Here I am, this fair damsel in distress, and you're the beast, not the knight. Can always count on my ambsace, now can't I!"

"Why yes you can!" Tira's voice floated to them. "And Ran, dear, if you don't step out from in front of her, you'll be wearing more snow."

"Tira, he's not part of this." Raina's voice followed after.

"Well maybe they all should be. Hey, then it'd be a right party! Let's all have a snowball fight! Trey…you know you want to." Tira stepped out from behind a tree, grinning at the shorter elf. "So do convince the serious dude and let's have a little fun; we can all gang up on Eltara! No telling me no one's waited for that!"

"And to pelt _her_ with snow, too." Trelan muttered, glancing at Ran.

"Hey!" Eltara grumbled. "Don't think I didn't catch you not negating her about turning on me!"

Before either elf could make a retort, or Raniean could wiggle out of Eltara's hold, a snowball smacked Eltara in the back of the head. She gave a shout of protest, jerking forward and knocking into the elf. Ran, who'd been in the process of trying to twist out of her grip, was unprepared for the sudden weight. The two toppled to the ground.

"Woah, there!" Tira, incorrigible as ever, widened her eyes and waved her hands. "Now, now, you two. Tone it down there. This is hardly the time or the place for such shenanigans. Let's not get racy."

"Tira!" JRH's reproving voice proceeded its owner, who had obviously chucked the projectile and now appeared from behind the downed players and a chuckling Trelan. "Can you please can the comments."

"But life's boring without a running commentary, and I've been so deprived, what with Dan not around to tease and fluster and embarrass, and no Ro around for some decent conversation!"

"I thought I could carry on a decent conversation." Raina commented.

"Well, you can. But you're not Ro. And I need Ro-conversation, people! I have questions and comments and jokes and stories. Things that need to be said."

"Like, _hey, Ro, I'm madly in love with you; let's run off and get married_?" JRH taunted.

Tira coloured and looked thoughtful. "I can work with that, but it needs more _flair_. I mean, I can't just say that, it definitely needs a precursor, perhaps a nice song and dance number. Who here can dance?"

"Are you serious?" Trelan demanded, sounding startled and slightly horrified.

"I can!" Eltara popped up, spinning around. "Yeah, I took ballet when I was little…been a long time, but I think I'm just a little rusty for all that."

JRH face-palmed.

"Oh goodie. Ballet will be…interesting." Tira nodded. "As for your question, little elf," she received a narrowed-eyes look, "why would I _not_ be serious? Doesn't a proposal need more flair than JRH's slapdash way of putting things? And then after that, I will back Dan into a corner and—"

"There will be no marrying of anyone, got it?" JRH interrupted. "Elves, humans, now, tomorrow, when they get back, before they get back, flair, slapdash, ballet, music, or not. _None_!"

"Oh, you are so very boring."

"I agree with her." Raniean had stood up and was dusting the snow off himself, but he paused and pierced Tira with a hard look. "You should not speak so lightly of these things."

"Besides, Elrohir's input is key." Trelan warned.

"I'd somehow finagle it so he thinks it's his idea, duh. All the best things happen that way. Besides, he's practically to that point all by his lonesome self. Isn't that right, Rai—Where'd Raina go?" Tira had turned to her younger friend, but the girl was no longer around.

"She wandered off when you started talking about this nonsense. I think she gave it up as a bad job." JRH answered, having watched the youngest member of their group shake her head and walk off in the direction of the house about the time "Dan" left Tira's mouth.

"Well, how rude." Tira huffed. Suddenly, snow exploded against her head. "Hey!"

"Sorry, but I promised Raina I'd hit you first." Kel stood about ten paces off, grinning at Tira.

"How rude, I—" Tira started, only to be pelted by another snowball, this time from SG.

Eltara smacked Raniean with one and JRH convinced Trelan to be on her team as several more of the girls arrived on the scene, eager for some fun. In moments, utter mayhem descended. And in the laughing, shrieking, dodging, and general flying of snow -and the occasional body- that immediately followed, Tira slipped off.

She hurried to catch up with her friend, catching her just outside one of the side entrances to the front courtyard. Raina had obviously been in no hurry, but Tira sped up nonetheless, only to nearly tackle the girl when she abruptly stopped.

"What's the rush?" Tira began, only for the demand to die on her lips as her attention jumped tracks.

Elladan and Elrohir had returned, but it didn't appear to have been a pleasant trip. They staggered into the courtyard, bloody and bruised, Dan's weight bearing down on his twin as he struggled to keep his feet and stay awake. Both were a losing battle for the oldest twin, even as Elrohir caught a stumble and coaxed his brother forward a few more steps; they were so close, they couldn't stop now.

They were but a handful of paces from the first step when Dan fully collapsed against his brother, his body succumbing to the lure of unconsciousness he'd been fighting through sheer willpower to _get home_ for longer than his mind could piece together then. They were safe now; he could rest, he could close his eyes for a moment…

His grip on consciousness snapped and Elrohir stumbled under the sudden deadweight, barely managing to keep his feet and prevent his twin from face-planting into the flagstone.

"He would allow no one to take him, my lord." Some elf neither girl recognised -though they guessed a scout from the border- was informing Elrond as he followed his lord out the front door about the same moment Elladan passed out at last.

Elrond hurried down the steps and reached out to his oldest, concern radiating from him. Elrohir's arms involuntarily tightened and their father paused.

"It's alright, Elrohir." He said softly, touching his youngest twin's cheek with the back of his hand instead, catching the younger elf's eyes at the same moment. "You've brought him safely home. Let me take your brother now."

Elrohir's mindset had been focused on survival for who knew how long, his mind slowed and dulled by exhaustion and the entirety of his focus being on keeping his brother alive and getting them both home. As his father's assurance sank in, some of the do-or-die leaked from his system and his grip slackened.

"Ada," he whispered, his voice cracking from either disuse or overuse; it wasn't an important distinction, because both meant the same thing, what was already obvious: the twins had just come through quite an ordeal.

He let his father take Elladan, and even as he did so, his knees buckled as the weight and the burden were taken from him by someone stronger, someone he could trust. Arms caught him, his little brother's voice filtering through the haze.

"It's okay, Ro. I got you. As much as I'm sure you'd like to sleep, a fall like that will do nothing for your bumps and bruises." Estel murmured soothingly as he wrapped his brother's arm around his shoulders. "You were supposed to meet up with Mora's group yesterday." He commented, wondering what had happened to his brothers.

He had understood his father's reasons for sending the twins on their little diplomatic quest to a nearby township a week ago, he got that they needed to have space and get their heads on straight. To have to focus on something outside of their immediate problems. He even understood that it was necessary they go alone.

But he was still stinging that Elrond had forbade his presence in the small force sent out to meet up with the twins after they'd settled the local disturbance; the group was to deal with an orc concentration terrorizing a few villages to the north. Now, though, it looked as though the twins had never met up with the group.

"You look like you fought a mountain and lost, brother." He tried for levity.

Elrohir snorted, too tired to reply.

"Well, next time you two decide to have fun without me, don't." Estel continued. "You ought to know better."

A simple shake of his head as he focused on shuffling up the stairs. "Didn't…have…fun, Estel," he gritted out. "Were…being…stupid."

"Next time, don't." Estel grinned.

"Wish…it was…that easy." Elrohir answered sadly, around the exhaustion draining him. Climbing the stairs should not have been this hard. And these were only the front steps!

A sigh. "Whatever that means, you're home now. Let it go, El. Let's get you upstairs and to bed."

"No." Elrohir shook his head. "Take me…to see…El."

"You need to sleep."

"I _need_ to…to be near him. Don't argue with me, Estel."

Grumbling about brothers and not knowing what's good for them, Estel helped his brother inside, unable to close the doors behind them as he took some of the weight off of whatever injury was making Elrohir limp. Tira and Raina snuck into the doorway, however, shutting the door behind them.

"Well…" Tira murmured, watching the elf and ranger make their way up the stairs. "What do you propose we do?"

"What we can to help, otherwise, stay out of the way?" Raina suggested.

"What we can to help…Elrond's the best healer there is, how could we help? Elladan looks bad, though. Really bad." Tira looked perturbed. "Ro's a little worse for the wear, but Dan…geez, what do you think happened?"

"I dunno." Raina shrugged.

Tira huffed out a sigh. "Guess I'll have to drag it out of Ro later. Not right now, no, cause he looks tired and he needs to rest, shouldn't bother him. And Dan's unconscious, so no teasing answers out of him."

"You mean to tell me, you're not going to go flying up those stairs and attach yourself to Ro's side, or try to help Elrond, or badger Aragorn?"

Tira shot Raina a _what, do you think I'm stupid? _look. "And have Cranky Ol' Eyebrows yell at me _again_? No, no, I've had quite enough of that, thank you."

"And what do you plan to do?"

"I believe there is a balrog-slayer I'm supposed to talk to." And with that, Tira had hurried off, not waiting for a reply.

Raina watched her go, shaking her head. If she didn't know better, she'd say that Tira was really upset about how the twins had returned. Not that she could blame the redhead.

Slowly, she took the stairs, pausing outside the door to what she knew was Elladan's room. Sure enough, this was where Elrond had taken his eldest; though there were beds in the infirmary, who wouldn't be more comfortable in their own bed? She hesitated, not sure what to do with herself.

She'd asked Elrond if she could help out every now and then in the infirmary, if for no other reason than to learn to treat the common training-related injuries—sprains, bruises, tears; even though this was much bigger than those, she wondered if she could be of any help.

The indecision was soon taken out of her hands, because as Elrond sent Aragorn to retrieve a list of things, the ranger paused beside her. "Make Ro stay out of the way and rest, will you?" He gestured back at his brother.

She nodded and slipped into the room. Elrohir was slumped in a chair near the bed, but out of the way of his father's work; he looked too drained to be doing anything more, but she knew how stubborn the twins could be, especially where each other was concerned.

Elrond was in the process of removing Elladan's torn and bloodied tunic, and she glanced quickly away, hoping she hadn't blushed. As Elrond pulled the soaked material away from Dan's right shoulder, the older twin made a quiet noise of pain, squirming. "Don't, El…don't…" he murmured, left hand weakly trying to find the person hurting him.

Elrond stilled his son's writhing with a soft touch to his cheek, whispering soothing nonsense, as Elrohir sat up straight, stiff as a ridge-pole, staring wide-eyed at his brother, but Dan settled and didn't awaken. Elrond quirked a brow at the younger twin.

"Wolves," Elrohir's voice came out quiet and rough. "We were…separated." He shivered.

"Raina, there is an extra blanket in the footlocker." Elrond gestured.

"I'm fine," Elrohir shook his head. When Raina, after shooting a glance at Elrond who briefly spared her a pointed one in return, scurried over to open the trunk, Elrohir whined, "I said I'm _fine_."

"I promise to not mother hen you, El," Raina assured, kneeling down to open the footlocker.

"I'll hold you to that." Elrohir attempted a grim smile, only to have it co-opted by a jaw cracking yawn. A glance at his twin sent a shudder through him. He couldn't sleep…couldn't rest at all until he was sure…

"Does somebody need some sleep?" Raina asked innocently, cracking the lid. The blanket was right on top, but as she pulled it out, she caught a glimpse of what looked like old sheet music, various woodwork, and several glints off of what seemed to be metalwork.

She was intensely curious, of course, but she also wasn't Tira; she held her tongue, minding her own business. _Especially_ since Elladan didn't volunteer a minute of his time to interact with her even as little -as much?- as he did everyone else, much less anything about himself, whether she knew it from the _Mellon Chronicles_ or not.

"You said no mother henning," Elrohir grumbled as she shut the trunk, standing and shaking the blanket out. She caught a strong whiff of something and wondered if it was _his_ scent. Still, she said nothing as she dropped the blanket on Ro and he let out a sigh, pulling it around him as he drew his legs onto the chair and curled up tightly. "Thank you," he nodded as he drew the blanket up near his face and buried his nose in it.

Yeah, it smelled a lot like Elladan. And since Elrohir couldn't get close enough to touch his brother and assure his overstressed mind, this would have to suffice for the interim. Still, his gaze locked on his twin, eyes unwilling to close, mind unwilling to settle, not until Dan was on the mend…

Valar, _why_ had they been fighting in the first place? He'd known better, but still, he'd had to strike that sensitive chord, and now look where they were.

"Somebody needs to update Mora…" he murmured tiredly, eyes half-lidded, even though rest alluded him.

"Someone will." Estel's voice interrupted his spiralling thoughts. "You, however, should try to rest."

"Can't. Dan…" He shook himself, trying to sit forward, weakly wresting an arm out of the blanket; he wasn't sure what he was going to do, but the tension in him kept echoing the past danger, echoing his brother's shock and pain, everything in him needing to just _make sure Elladan is safe_.

"Dan is going to be fine," Raina soothed, putting a hand on his shoulder to make him sit back.

He nearly jumped out of his skin, heart racing at the unexpected touch. He caught a breath, chancing a look up at her after a moment as she removed her hand, hoping she hadn't caught his startle.

Raina gave him a slightly questioning look before tucking the blanket around him tighter.

"He'll recover, El. You need to rest."

_I'll rest when he's recovered_, he shot back in his mind, but he didn't trust his voice, so his words remained formless. He was so high-strung, keyed up still by the ordeal, getting his brother home, even though relief fought to soothe his frazzled nerves.

Silence fell on the room, as Aragorn and Elrond moved around Elladan, tending to the unconscious elf.

Elladan's shoulder was a mass of shredded flesh, like some massive beast's jaws had torn into him and rattled him around until his blood coated the ground. The wound was suppurating in places, but in others, the -now sluggish- flow of blood had kept the wound washed free of contaminants. Dark bruising around his collarbone attested to the joint being ripped from its socket. Scrapes and swelling of a few choice areas of his face said he'd been hit once or twice by something with a lot of force behind it (and some lucky aim).

The long tears screaming across his abdomen, beginning in the middle of the right side of his ribcage and cutting down to his left hip, were angry and purulent, oozing with an infection from dirty claws and exposure.

"We lost our supplies in the fall," Elrohir whispered hoarsely. "I did my best to clean the wounds with the snow, but that was also detrimental to his body's weakened defences." The last thing he wanted his father to think is that he'd _let_ it get that bad. Elladan had been practically delirious _before_ they started home after the attack, weak from blood loss and shock, the cold sapping what strength he might have otherwise had to fight the infection.

"_El, I'm sorry…I'm sorry…please don't leave me…I'm sorry, El, I'm _so damn sorry_. I can…I can…please, El, please. I can't…don't, El…don't…don't hurt me…don't leave me alone here…"_

A glass of water appeared in his line of vision, breaking him out of his thoughts. His heart was in his throat, and the air was too thin to provide enough oxygen, too thick to inhale anything past a shallow breath. Numbly taking the glass, he barely nodded at Raina, trying to block out his memories, his thoughts.

Elrond paused, reaching out to touch the younger twin's face, fingers barely brushing one dirty, pale cheek. "You did all you could. And you got him home. It's alright."

Tired, haunted eyes, red-rimmed from more than just an overlong exposure to the cold, latched on to his father's, as if looking for something he could trust. Elrond leaned in closer to ghost his thumb beneath one of those eyes, catching a tear, even as he strained a smile for his child.

_It hurt_, Raina thought. It physically hurt to see them like this, but it was also more touching than anything she'd ever encountered before. She turned away as Aragorn redirected her attention, asking her to hand him a specific jar as he cleaned out the jagged gashes marring the oldest twin's flesh.

She tried not to stare, but she'd never seen anything like it; in movies maybe, but this was different. She felt a little sick, actually, if she thought too much about it. So much blood and infection and…what had happened?

She withdrew into a corner of the room, there should they need help (_as if_, she'd thought), but mostly to stay out of the way as Elrond set to in earnest, cleansing, stitching, packing and bandaging.

Draining the wounds of infection was the longest, foulest part of the job, in her opinion. She knew, because she'd come forward to hand him a waste bin, and the stench was powerful. Then came the stitching, realigning the ragged mess of flesh and muscle into a shoulder again one layer at a time (she stayed in her corner nearly the whole time, not having to see it too closely); she didn't know a lot about these kinds of wounds, but it seemed it'd take a long time to heal completely.

And Elladan, even out cold, writhed and moaned, pleading with them. _Daro, daro_ was repeated often, only matched in repetition by _avo negro nin!_ Elrohir shrank back into his chair at every plea, closing his eyes and looking dragged out and raved more and more with each desperate sound of pain.

When at last the worst of the injuries were tended to, everyone was exhausted, mentally and physically. Elladan had finally quieted, dropping deeper into unconsciousness, his only movement in the shallow, painful-sounding breaths he took; Elrohir was in a dead stupor, clutching the blanket in white fingers and staring blankly at his twin.

Sitting back with a sigh, Aragorn pushed the hair out of his face. That had been so incredibly difficult, made worse by Ro's soft noises of distress as he had to endure seeing his twin in such pain. The ranger watched numbly as JLyH, kneeling at Elrohir's feet, removed his left boot; the girl had come in not so long ago, offering to help, and he'd told her something was wrong with Ro's leg or foot.

Elrohir was so out of it, he hadn't reacted to the girl's soft inquiries or her touching him as she pulled the leg down and had begun her ministrations. She was checking for sprains or breaks now, expert fingers prodding gently at swollen flesh.

The elf uttered a whimper as she hit a particularly painful spot, but other than that, the shock had well and truly set in. He was not asleep, though Aragorn wished his brother was; still, the glaze to his eyes and the almost catatonic state he was in attested to his desperate need to rest.

Aragorn wouldn't mind a nap himself now, too. He eyed JLyH's movements as she bandaged the badly sprained ankle, immobilizing it to prevent further injury. The girl obviously knew what she was doing, for which he was grateful. One less stress off his mind.

He was itching to know what had happened to his brothers, but knew the story would have to wait until later. Sighing, he pushed himself to his feet, helping his father draw the blankets up around Elladan, before they began to clean up, Raina's extra pair of hands helping to speed up the process.

When JLyH had finished, Elrond instructed them to go rest, and they all shuffled out, leaving the twins alone for the time being.

Elrohir didn't twitch for hours, not outwardly responding to anything anyone said to him, only rising out of his stupor at last when someone tried to move him late that evening. He jerked away from the hands, throwing an arm out.

"No!" he snapped tetchily. "Leave me be."

"El." It was Estel, his voice coming out of the darkness. "Ada told me to make sure you actually rest."

"I'm _fine_."

"Right, you look like a slight wind could shatter you. No, seriously, you're _that_ worn out."

"Leave me alone, Estel." Elrohir growled, curling up in his chair as best he could in effort to get away from his little brother, wincing as he jostled his bandaged ankle. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Even to the next room? To lay down? I promise, _as soon as Elladan wakes_, someone will come get you."

"No." Arms folded, a dark glower was directed at the ranger. "I am not leaving him. I told him I wouldn't."

"I'm sure he won't mind if you go rest, El." Estel reasoned.

Elrohir shook his head. "No. You can go, but I won't leave."

"How about I have someone bring a cot in, then?"

"No, do you see the hour? I don't need anything. I'll be fine."

A sigh issued forth. "Fine, fine. As you wish. Don't say I didn't try." And then, his little brother was gone and he was alone with his twin again.

Elrohir sighed, looking at the unconscious, broken reflection on the bed beside him. "I'm sorry, El," he whispered. "I shouldn't have…I'm sorry." He reached out a trembling hand, touching his brother's on the bed.

Elladan didn't respond, not that he'd really expected him to. Carefully, he pulled himself out of the chair and on to the bed, curling up at his twin's side. Reaching across Dan, he dragged his brother's opposite hand closer and held it tightly in his own; the fingers were cold and unmoving against his palm, his brother's arm useless with all the damage done to his shoulder.

Blowing out a sigh, telling himself he was not crying, he buried his face against Elladan's ribcage, wishing it was easier to breathe.

"I'm sorry, El," he whispered into the darkness, the silence, the shuddering breaths and the fabric covering warm skin, so _blessedly alive_, "I'm so, so sorry."


	23. Someday I Will Understand

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Someday I Will Understand

It was mid-morning before he opened his eyes, squinting in the bright light; the sun was harsh and he winced, a pre-existing headache protesting the glare. Glimpsing a snatch of gold, his eyes cut over to the retreating form. A pause at the door before slipping out, glancing back real quick. Their eyes met, and Raina smiled.

"Sorry if I woke you," she said softly. "I was just bringing some food up for Ro." She nodded, first at the side-table, then at his side.

He blinked, glancing down at his brother pressed up against him, face buried in his ribs. Elrohir's breathing was deep and even, but his grip on Elladan's numb hand was tight; he could feel that, at least, though he didn't think he had much control of the appendage.

Valar, everything hurt. The longer he stayed awake, the more the pain began to build up in his consciousness. His right shoulder was sheer agony, any anaesthetics he'd been given long since having worn off.

"I'm surprised he's actually sleeping." Raina's voice, gentle, quiet, reminding him of his mother, the way she'd soothe his hurts and still his fears, his anguish. "He wouldn't yesterday, you know; wouldn't go to bed when Estel tried to get him to last night, either."

He shifted his good hand, let it brush against the top of Elrohir's head. Ro's grip tightened slightly, unconsciously pulling his hand closer. Elladan muffled a sound of distress, as the movement tugged at his traumatized shoulder.

Reluctantly looking at her again, heart buckling in such a strange way at the tender_ empathy_ on her face, he licked dry lips and tried to speak, but the words came out a bare, rough whisper. Hiding a wince (why did _she_ have to see him like this?), he cleared his throat, swallowed, and tried again. "Where is A—Elrond?"

"The Hall, I believe." She answered, still quietly as if she _knew_ his head hurt so, and she would that she not cause him any more pain. "He's been in and out checking on you since you got back, but he knew Ro was here. Mora's group got back sometime earlier this morning, and there was a disturbance down at the—"

"Yes, thank you, child. You are dismissed."

Raina paused, only the slight twitching of eyebrows briefly flashing a look of confusion, the barest creasing around her eyes a look of hurt… Maybe? But she only nodded, then turned and left.

For some reason, he desperately wanted to call her back. Wanted her to crawl into the bed beside him and hold him, those fingers ghosting over his hurts and stilling his agony with a gentle touch. Valar, was he that messed up he was now entertaining thoughts about a _little girl_?

Conveniently forgetting or otherwise ignoring that according to the human customs of his world (and he had no cause to think differently of hers, so far), she was of matrimonial age. Because, of course, she did _not_ make his skin hum, or his heart race, or his soul long and cry out in ways he'd never before experienced.

"You know, she's actually rather pleasant company when you give her the chance." Elrohir's soft voice startled him out of the ruminations he was _not_ having. His hand stilled against the back of his twin's head.

"I do not know _what_ you are talking about."

A snort, almost wet, and the "sure, sure," muttered into his side revealed a hoarse throat.

Gently, circles were being traced into his palm by a roughened thumb, his sense of the touch deadened much akin to the way it felt when his hand was asleep. The difference being that there was no tingling as blood filled the extremity, because that wasn't the problem; there was only pain as every nerve ending thrummed and screamed with the strain his injuries were putting on his body.

"How long have you been awake?" he whispered, trying to change the subject. The matter of Raina and all of his not-feelings was a sore spot, one he did not wish to revisit anytime soon with his twin.

"Long enough." Ro answered flatly. "The question is, how long have _you_?"

"Minutes." He stared listlessly at the ceiling, his mind trying to process the amount of pain he was in; ignoring, as they both were, that feeling that they were avoiding the unspoken issue between them. "Have you actually slept any?"

"Very little. In and out. I can't…" But he couldn't finish the thought.

Silence fell, neither willing to speak first, it seemed; each struggling under the weight of the issue, but not sure how to broach it—_afraid_ to broach it.

Finally, "I'm sorry," Ro murmured, pressing his forehead against his brother's ribs in mute apology.

"I don't want to talk about it." Dan answered softly, silently pleading with his twin to not pursue it, to just let the matter drop.

The younger twin shifted, pulling his brother's hand closer to his face, as though he might kiss it, but he stopped at the last moment, his breath ghosting against chilled skin. "Can we call it pax?" he beseeched quietly into his elder's palm.

Carefully, Elladan let his arm slip around his brother's shoulders. "Pax." He acquiesced faintly.

Elrohir turned, burying his face deep under his twin's arm and closing his eyes tightly. "Thank you," came the murmur.

Elladan just closed his own eyes, not answering as pain lanced through his consciousness. After a moment, Elrohir pulled away, sitting up. Running a hand through his hair, he glanced around, letting his numb thoughts aimlessly come and go.

When he looked down, his brother was shaking, slipping into a stupor. Alarmed, he twisted around, kneeling on the bed. "El," he whispered, gently grabbing both arms in effort to get his twin's attention and to still some of the juddering. "El! El, come on, tell me what's wrong!"

"Hu…hurts." Elladan ground out, Ro's voice barely filtering through the haze.

"What? What hurts?" There was the obvious pains, of course, but with Dan he was never really sure, because so often his twin's words felt weighted, like he was hiding layers of meanings in a simple-sounding statement.

"My…_shoulder_…my…_chest_. _Everything_." Dan's voice was barely audible, made soft with fatigue and the shock setting into his body.

"Okay. Okay." His hands hovered over his brother, over-tired mind having trouble processing what he needed to do, how he could help. "Okay…I'll…let me just…don't…don't panic, I'll go get Ada. I'll be right back, I promise."

He scrambled from the bed, forgetting in his haste and distress about his ankle, and stumbled, nearly falling as it refused his weight with its own set of protests. He scowled as he caught himself on the arm of the chair.

"Woah there, Mr. Rush, don't kill yourself, eh?" Out of nowhere, she was there, hands on his arms, steadying him.

Startled and disgruntled, he flinched back, only to catch himself and lean against the chair as he smiled shakily. "I, ah…" He blinked at Tira, but then his brother's distress behind him kicked back in, and he hastily recovered his wits. "Go! Go and-and get my father! Quickly!"

"Pish tush. I know what I'm doing." Tira waved a hand at him as she practically _sashayed_ over to the bed. He shook his head, trying to get the image out.

"No…want…Ada." Dan fussed when he saw who was there.

"Stuff it elf man." Tira said as she eyed him carefully. She gave his shoulder an experimental poke.

Dan flinched, biting back a cry, and Ro gave a start. "Hey! Stop that." The ire in his voice could not have been mistaken, but Tira just quirked a brow at him.

"One bad turn deserves another," was all the redhead muttered, not bothering to explain what she was talking about. In Tira's mind, it was that she'd just come from talking with Raina, and Elladan's continued cold behaviour was bugging her. Honestly, the girl wasn't a leper, why was he being so weird to _her_? He didn't treat anyone else the way he treated Raina.

Peering into the elf's pale, gleaming face, she tutted again. "Too bad that hit you took to the cranium didn't improve on your disposition. But maybe it's been too long since you sustained the concussion, all the odd character variations have already passed. Pity. Seeing you get all kind and mushy to the girl might've been nice. Aha! As I thought, here it is."

She'd moved away from the bed, absently pushing Ro down on the mattress again as he hovered, watching her every move with something akin to distrust. She wasn't surprised; in his position, she wouldn't trust her closest comrade, her own twin, to just anyone willy-nilly. If anyone could come close for her to what she saw in the twins, it was Raina. Now, though, she'd found the tincture she'd suspected Elrond had already prepared, the prudent elf that he was, and turned to help Dan despite her mini-rant.

"Want to inspect it first? Make sure I didn't slip any, I dunno, weed into it?" Tira asked sarcastically, holding the cup out to Elrohir, a touch waspish about his suspicion even if she could understand it.

He gave her a puzzled look, as one of the ingredients in that particular tincture _was_ a weed.

"Whom was it prepared by?"

"Oscar the Grouch." She snapped, then sighed. "No, I'm sorry. Your father prepared it. Although, he does have a lot of similarities to Oscar…"

Not really sure who she was referring to, but slightly amused nonetheless, he strained a smile and took the cup.

"Oh, goodie." She nodded. "Yeah, you make him drink it, not me. I know all about you elves and your tea complexes. And I'm not feeling particularly…_gracious_."

Elladan was too out of it to shoot her a glare or grunt angrily, or even put up a token resistance as Ro shifted up near his brother's head and gently lifted him up enough to drink, putting the cup to his lips. It was a slow task, because his violent shuddering hadn't abated and the liquid was liable to slosh all over the place. It was a process he actually wasn't even aware of, his mind already having checked out into a world all of its own.

When he'd forced all the tea down his twin's throat, Elrohir handed the cup off to Tira and settled back, pulling Dan close and tucking his brother's head beneath his chin. He pulled the blanket higher up and tucked it tightly around Elladan, and just held him, closing his eyes as he willed strength into the weak, trembling body in his arms.

Tira tutted once more, fussing. "You don't look so very good yourself, Ro. Maybe you need some tea, too. Did you even sleep last night? 'Course not, too busy being the vigilant brother, I suppose; no rest for the weary til the wounded are healed, or some such."

But Ro didn't respond; he didn't even appear to hear her. Like yesterday when she'd visited, it was as though he was mentally unreachable. Tsking softly, she snagged up the extra blanket from the bed that she'd seen him clutching the day before, and draped it around him.

"Guess I'll go get your father now, eh?"

Tira watched him for another minute, then shook her head and smiled. Her elf was _such_ a cutie. Turning to leave she yelped and placed a hand to her chest.

"_Warn_ a girl next time." She said irritably to the person in the doorway. "You scared a whole _inch_ off me!"

"I highly doubt I frightened you enough to impair your height, child."

"Well, whatever. The point is that you scared me. I didn't know you were there."

"That was intentional. Elladan awoke?"

"Yeah, and I gave him that tincture. He's out, I think, and so is Ro."

"I can see that." Elrond paused. "Thank you for the help."

"Well, tone down the gratitude before you hurt someone." Tira muttered.

"You may go."

Scowling at the lord she tossed her hair over her shoulder and made a 'hmph' noise before stalking from the room in a high dudgeon.

"She's not half bad, Ada, if you give her a chance. And she was helpful." Elrohir's soft voice redirected the elf lord's attention to the bed. The twins were a bloody and bruised sight, Elladan more so than his brother, but Ro's eyes were still tired and bloodshot as he peered up at his father from above Dan's own exhausted and unconscious countenance.

"Yes, well, a leech can be helpful as well in the right situation. That doesn't mean I need to like them."

Elrohir's expression darkened, his arms tightening around his brother as he tried to contain the anger he was too tired to fight. "Liken her to a lowly parasite again…" He trailed off, unable to suitably threaten his father.

"Elrohir, my son," Elrond replied sternly, "You must face the facts."

"What _facts_ must I face, ada?" Elrohir asked, eyes flashing.

"To begin, the fact that she is wholly inappropriate for the son of a lord."

"I fail to see why some murderous _tart_ was good enough for my brother but when I find someone she is _inappropriate_."

Elrond paused, glancing down at his eldest's slackened expression, before meeting the mirror gaze. "Did you voice as much to your brother?"

Elrohir trembled with contained fury. "I shouldn't _have_ to tell him! I _love_ Tira, don't you understand? For the first time, I _love someone_. I have a chance at what you and mother had, what Estel and Arwen do."

Elrond raised an eyebrow to his son. "Elrohir, she is not from this time or place, and _that_ is the fact you must face."

"Time and place didn't seem to matter when she was sent here in the first place. Who's to say she has to leave or that I simply cannot follow?"

"Your place is here, Elrohir." Elrond lectured. "And she cannot stay simply because you wish her to; she has her own world, her own life to return to when her job here is complete."

"And yet...I would go to the ends of the earth if that is what she required." Elrohir answered quietly but forcefully. "I would go into exile."

Elrohir's grip tightened, his fingers unconsciously -accidentally- digging into his brother's wounded shoulder, and so as his words were uttered, Elladan gave a jerk, crying out.

"Have care what you say, son." Elrond spoke quietly, but his eyes were dark, even as they briefly darted down to his oldest. "You know naught of what you speak."

"I speak what is in my heart. Even you cannot refute that. Is not love the one truth we are taught about Ilúvatar? If He loves us unconditionally, as we do Him, then why would I be refused an _earthly_ love like this? No," Elrohir shook his head. "I stand by what I said."

"And what of your brother? Is your love for him yet unconditional? You are quick to make this decision without considering what it'll mean to him."

"What it means _to him_?" Elrohir was aghast. Why did everything come back to Elladan? "Dare I bring up _her_ again?"

"Your brother has always meant well by you, El. He wants badly to please those he loves, and we -even I- ask more of him than one person can do."

"What. About. _Me_?" Elrohir asked. "Does what I think, feel, do even _matter_, or is it always about _him_?"

He glanced down at his twin. He _loved_ Dan, of course he did, but why did _everyone_ put his needs and feelings first? The only person he'd met, so far, who did not was Tira, and as irritating as her teasing could be, it was something deep down he almost agreed with.

Outside the door, unbeknownst to any of the room's occupants, Raniean leaned against the wall, hand to his heart as if that could stop the hurt Elrohir's words carried. He had come to check on the twins per Legolas's request only to accidentally overhear the conversation between father and son.

That Elrohir could harbour such feelings was a surprise. The few times they'd met when younger the twins had been inseparable, extensions of each other, though not without their dark histories. Thinking of his prince, and his best friend, he could sympathise with those not-completely known pasts, but he could not understand why the younger of the pair would feel so unloved. Raniean's knowledge of Imladris's lord had kept him believing the perfect family could exist.

"Elrohir," Elrond began to say, and Raniean as much as he wanted to hear how Elrond would soothe his son's soul, couldn't let it go any further.

"I'm sorry, Lord Elrond, for interrupting. Legolas asked me to get a status update for him." He jauntily strode through the door, convincingly pretending he had not heard a thing.

Elrohir looked at Dan, then up to Raniean and smiled, his mask clicking into place seamlessly. "I'm ok, except for my ankle. Dan…he'll be okay in a few days. He's hurting right now."

_He's not the only one, is he?_ Ran silently asked before smiling himself. "Great, well…I'll just go and let him know."

They watched him leave, but by then the moment was gone. Elrond sighed. "All will be right, my son. Someday."

"Vowels are indicated by diacritics, called tehtar…" Cal mumbled, trying to make sense of the assignment Erestor had given them on the writing system. He kept stressing that being able to speak Sindarin included being able to read it, and she knew he was right but it was _so confusing_! What she was wishing for right then, besides the grande mocha to keep her awake (why, of all the things to _not_ discover in Middle-earth was coffee one of them?), was a lingual brain like Tira's. That one gaily chattered away in various languages, and Cal was undeniably jealous.

She glared at the slate in front of her. That was another thing Erestor had refused to give them, was real paper, saying until they had proven mastery of writing that paper was too precious a commodity to waste. Instead, they were reduced to using _slates_, and chalk, or a chalk-like stick. She had no clue if Middle-earth had real chalk, like they did back home. The slate -being inanimate- did nothing, but she almost wished it could do something, like write the assignment for her.

Normally she was rather proud of her handwriting, but where all the books surrounding her had gorgeous scripts in them (not that she could read most of them), the _tengwar, _as Erestor had called them, on her slate looked like she was back in preschool scribbling away with a crayon.

"Tinco…parma…calma…" She painstakingly drew each letter as she named it, scowling at the wretched slate.

"You need to leave a bit of a space there." A voice said, and she startled, snapping the chalk.

"Oh now look!" She tossed it down in disgust. "I'm never gonna figure this out."

"It's not that difficult. I was learning how to do this when I was barely three."

"_You_ happen to be an elf." Cal pointed out, making Legolas chuckle.

"Here, let me show you…" Legolas drew the slate towards him and picked up one half of the broken chalk. "When you have letters like this one, calma, you need to leave a, um…hole, I suppose you'd call it, between the bowl and the stem."

"Alright." Cal nodded, still not sure what he was talking about, but willing to take the lesson.

"And look here, you have your numbers all wrong."

"We aren't doing numbers." Cal blushed, studying her slate. "That's supposed to be, um, lambe…the ell."

"Oh, well, it's backwards. Lambe has a bowl to the right, the number one to the left."

"I…see."

"No, you don't." Legolas laughed again, laying the chalk on the table. "But don't worry. You'll get it. And even if you don't, I don't think you'll be here forever, so it's not terribly important."

"You know, in my _own_ language, my handwriting is so much nicer." Cal mused.

"Do show me, please."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Cal thought for a moment. What was she going to write for Legolas? She didn't think he'd be able to read it, anyway, but then he'd ask her to tell him what it said, and probably even ask for an English lesson.

Finally deciding on something she hoped wouldn't give anything to come away, she rubbed the lesson off the slate and taking a piece of chalk in hand, wrote a short passage out in her best cursive.

"That is quite pretty." Legolas complimented. "What does it say?"

"Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread through shadows to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight." She read out rather quickly. One of her favourite parts from the movies was Pippin's little song, though she couldn't tell him that was where it was from. At this point, he had no knowledge of Pippin Took, the hobbit.

"Well, _wonderful_ lesson on Elvish writing." The sarcasm in the new voice was evident, even though Cal didn't understand what had been said, since the speaker had used Sindarin.

"Oh, hush Tira." Legolas waved a hand at her. "I doubt you're any better at it than she is."

"And there you'd be wrong. What, you think all my skills lie in speaking?" She shook her head and switched to English. "Tsk, elfie, that's not a very high outlook."

"Tira, hi." Cal smiled, despite the jealousy at how easily the girl could switch between languages.

"No, if you ever need help, don't go to the elf. He'll just confuse you. Come find me. At least _I_ know English, so I can easily translate it for you."

"Um, thanks."

"Legolas?" Yet a third person joined them. "Oh, you again."

"Oh, Ran. Hi." Tira glanced at the newcomer. "Legolas was just confusing poor Cal here about writing."

"How nice." Raniean replied, not really caring. "I did as requested."

"Ah, good. Come, walk with me and we can talk. Let Lady Know-it-all here teach, since she thinks she can do it better."

"Of course I can do it better. Uppity elves." Tira sniffed. "Now, what's the problem?"

"How's Dan doing? Is it serious? I didn't get to see it myself, you see, so I have no idea. Ro'll be fine, though, of course. Give it a few days. Hey, where did this come from? Can I see the tapestry of Isildur? Been to Lothlorien recently? Kim was telling me all about this crystalline causeway something or other, sounds pretty. Any chance I can get you to take me there?"

Aragorn sighed. He didn't think she had taken an actual breath since she'd found him out shooting and had subsequently asked him to help her brush up on the skills she'd been left out of, being unable to tramp around with the others until recently.

"Dan is fine, last I knew, though in pain. No, it's not serious, he will survive." He paused, trying to remember all her other questions, then giving it up as a lost cause. "If you want to actually catch up with your friends in this, then it helps if you pay attention and listen. I realise you've been cooped up with little activity, but seriously, child."

JLyH laughed. "Child? You're not _that_ much older than me, I don't think. Hmm…I can't remember what part of the timeline we're in. Not that it matters. Anyway, yes. Ranger stuff. Teach me, wise one."

He sighed again.

"Sis, are you wearing out the ranger?" JRH's laughing voice interrupted Aragorn's glum ruminations. "Don't you know you should never do that?"

"Oh yes, right. Never know when at a moment's notice he'll need to run off and save the world from certain grim outcomes."

"Oh, oh, like when he saved Legolas from that Dwarven snare?"

"Or those horrible spiders…"

Placing his head in his hands, Aragorn was wondering what he'd done so wrong in life to be harried by these females.

"Are you at all interested in tracking, or would you rather have a gab fest about my past heroics?" He finally inserted in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, if we have a choice, your past is much more interesting." JLyH grinned.

"Yeah," JRH agreed. "Like the time you rescued Mirkwood from Doriflen's madness or freed Legolas from the ringwra…" Abruptly realising what time she was bringing up, she snapped her mouth closed in tandem with her twin's hissed, "_J_!"

"And tell me, _children_," He turned to them suddenly, his face stern, "how you would like it if I knew such things of your pasts and went around twittering like magpies as if those memories had no significant value?"

Duly chastised, the twins bowed their heads in tandem for a moment. Eventually JLyH looked back up towards the ranger. "We're sorry, Aragorn. We were in the wrong, talking about you like that. Sometimes this all just seems so unreal to us, and we just don't realise that what to us is a tale is to you something very real."

"Oh hey, you were just the elf I was looking for!" Lindelas grinned.

Trey paused. "What for?" he asked warily.

"Um…trelleps?"

He groaned, but a slight smile tugged at the very corner of his mouth. "How do you even know about that?"

"Oh, well, you know..." Lin waved a hand, a slight frown marring her face before she smiled instead. "But that's not relevant."

He shook his head. "Someday, it might be. But I'll let it slide for now. What do you want to know?"

Lin stared at him blankly. "Well, I want to know about...trelleps."

"Yes, we've established this." He nodded, amused. "What _about_ them do you want to know?"

Trelan sighed as he thought for a moment. The thing was, trelleps weren't real...finally he shrugged and just spun her an imaginative tale.


	24. Stepping Outside the Lines

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Stepping Outside the Lines

Carefully rolling his right shoulder to relieve some of the stiffness from the joint, Elladan winced, then let out a sigh.

Ada had _finally_ let him out of bed but a handful of days before; it was his _shoulder_, for crying out loud, not his ankle injured. Granted, his injuries had been grievous and it'd been touch and go those first few days, between infection and wounded spirit. But he was _not_ fragile, they didn't have to mollycoddle him.

That was part of the reason he'd been avoiding most everyone since Ada had let him up; he didn't want the babying and he didn't want to answer any questions about what had happened. The sooner he could put the trip to rest, the better. Maybe El would quit being weird then, too.

If he woke up one more time in the middle of the night to Ro's hands petting his hair with a desperation he would not explain to him, only tightly murmuring a _Just be quiet, Elladan_, he was liable to push the oaf out of his bed without delay. Somehow, he doubted Elrohir had spent a total of a whole night in his own bed since they'd gotten back a fortnight ago. And, he hated to admit it, but he'd almost _welcome_ some kind of comment about Raina if it meant his twin would stop being so closemouthed about _everything_.

It was just a fight; it was in the past. They'd called pax. Did they really have to skulk around about it, sulk and fret like broody hens?

At the moment, that wasn't quite top of the list of his worries. Ada had just sent him to get _the_ girl, and they were both to meet him in his study. He'd seen precious little of her since he'd dismissed her that morning; mostly a snatch of gold as she'd be on her way out, obviously having been to visit and talk with Ro. Which made the fact that Ro hadn't spoken of her all the more glaringly _odd_.

He knew he was dawdling, taking time in his search for _her_. He also knew why. As much as he wanted to see her, be near her, to fulfil this odd longing he had for her, he also _didn't_ want to see her, definitely did _not_ want to be near enough to feel that bizarre lightning race over his skin at her presence.

Finally, bracing himself to just _get this over with_, he decided the next girl he found, he'd ask for directions. Someone up there must have something against him, because it was apparently meet for that girl to be none other than his personal thorn, Tira.

Gritting his teeth he forced a friendly smile onto his face. "Suil, Tira. By any chance do you know where Raina is?"

There, he'd not only been polite, but he'd said _her_ name without choking on it! This, he noted, was a definite accomplishment.

"Goodness _gracious_, now why are you looking for her?" Tira couldn't resist a dig at him, though her mind wasn't particularly on Dan or his problems at that moment. It was habit, by now, to tease the elf, and expected to boot.

Withholding a sigh, Dan replied. "My father has asked that I find her and then meet up with him."

There, that was a suitable answer, right? Not too much given away (not that he knew _why_ they had been called) and rather neutral. She couldn't make anything out of that innocent reply.

"I _see_." Tira's eyes lit up as her mind raced through various reasons why Elrond wanted to see her sister and his son together. "Last I knew, she was in the library."

Nodding his thanks, he set off again, not in a particular hurry to get there. Valar, his pulse was quickening just at the _thought_ of seeing her, his palms becoming slightly clammy. He'd be damned if he was turning into some kind of love-struck _sap_, like his twin.

When he saw her though, his heart flipped over on itself, and he blamed all of these weird reactions on Ada's tea and tried to push it out of his mind. The next moment, he was distracted from it anyway; he wasn't sure what she'd been trying to do, but the elf she was talking to was being less than helpful.

In fact, he was being snobbish, replying with a rude phrase in Sindarin to the girl's politely voiced question.

Anger flashed through him at the scene. Drawing himself to his full height he put on his best airs, looking down his nose at the elf, whom he recognised as being one of Glorfindel's officers.

"Do not speak to my guest so. You shall be sure your commander will hear of this disgraceful attitude." He scolded in his most lord-like voice. "Be gone, now, ere I lose my temper."

Raina cringed slightly at the sharp sound of his unknown words. The rude elf made a humph noise and strode away even as Elladan turned to her.

"How is it you can allow anyone to be so rude, child?"

"I don't know what he said, but it didn't sound exactly nice, and then I asked him if he could repeat it in common, because I didn't know enough Sindarin, and I guess that's what you heard." She shrugged.

"What do you mean, you don't know enough?" He stared at her. "Erestor is a stupendous instructor." The comment slipped out without a thought for the insinuation.

"Well, I haven't really been following along on the Sindarin lessons…" Raina replied, a hint of ire lacing her tone. The next moment, the unusual note was gone as she asked politely, "Was there something you needed, sir?"

He looked irritated at her tone, or her words, or just by her presence in general, which put Raina on guard.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You have been summoned to see Lord Elrond immediately." He replied stuffily.

She blinked once, brows furrowing slightly; the only outward read he could get on her as she'd gone a little stiff and her expression had drawn blank a moment before. Like everything else about her, that bugged him.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked cautiously, almost nonplussed.

"I would not know that." His tone was tinged with impatience and annoyance. "But the sooner you come, the sooner I can get this over with."

"Alright…" She shrugged, trailing off, and he turned to lead the way. He had been correct in his assumption about what getting near her would do to him and as much as his soul seemed to crave it, he couldn't stand a moment longer the urge to grab her up in his arms and never let go.

With his disgruntlement growing by the moment, by the time they reached his father's study he was properly steamed and it could be inferred through the way he rapped on the door. There was but a moment's delay, in which he stiffly ignored her, then when his father called them in, his manners kicked in and he had to acknowledge her as he stepped back and held the door.

She, for the most part, took it all in stride, giving him a quick nod and maybe, _maybe_ that murmur he _thought_ he'd heard was a "thank you," but he hadn't seen her lips move. And he had no proper excuse for studying her face, so he dismissed it quickly.

"Please, sit." The Lord of Imladris motioned to the chairs. "As for why I have requested your presences, I am concerned."

Neither liked the sound of that. Raina crossed her ankles and folded her hands in her lap, waiting but not necessarily sure where this was going. Elladan, on the other hand, knew it couldn't be anything less than something he would absolutely hate.

"You must understand this isn't to be shared, with _anyone_, as it is a very private matter." Elrond began, speaking to Raina. "I share it with you only because it is imperative you understand the full gravity of the situation."

She nodded, and Elladan shifted as his anxiety kicked up a notch.

"It has recently come to light that one of my children has formed an inappropriate attachment. I am not trying to insult you, dear child, but you and your friends _cannot_ have romantic relationships. You are not from this time or place, and there is the chance you may leave at any time without warning, as you came."

Elladan was tense, wondering just _what_ his father was getting at. Could he possibly _know_ the thoughts that raced through his head when he saw her, smelled her?

"I am leaving this up to the two of you." Elrond continued, seemingly unaware of his son's dismay. "El, you must convince your brother to drop this unsuitable romance, and Raina, you must do the same for Tira."

Ungluing his tongue from the roof of his mouth with great effort, Elladan cleared his throat softly. "Surely, Ada, El knows nothing can come of it."

Raina seconded that with a thoughtful nod.

"We may think as much," Elrond started, glancing at the girl. It had been a declaration shared in confidence, but both before him needed to grasp how serious this was. "But he has stated, with firm resolve, to follow her wherever it leads, even into exile."

Elladan grew very still. On the one hand, he was relieved; on the other, worried and not a little bit upset. Part of him had feared a lecture, but Ada seemed unaware of his thoughts, the war he was having with himself over that spark in his soul that kept reaching for that warm presence beside him. His disquiet, though, jumped tracks as he focused on his twin's staunch avowal.

It sounded like Ro was _serious_, which concerned him. Ro had never been _serious_ about a woman, not even Lano. So why did he have to decide to get serious about _this_ girl? He had to know it was impossible.

And _exile_? Did he even understand the consequences that came with that decision? Confusion and pain began to boil up inside of him, stirring the restless waters of his soul into a tempest of emotions he couldn't pick apart and assimilate. A cautious probe ghosted across his awareness, but before his twin could delve deeper, he shut him out.

He needed time to think.

"Thank you for bringing this to light, Lord Elrond." Raina politely replied to the mandate. "I shall do my best. If I may be excused, I was trying to do some work in the library when Elladan found me."

"Of course. Elladan can escort you back. And Elladan, assist her if you can."

That wasn't conducive to thinking. Withholding a scowl but not a quiet sigh, he nodded, murmuring a "yes, Ada," before standing. Turning to go, he gestured to her. "Come." He said, tone more brusque than he realised.

With an almost imperceptible frown, Raina followed the elf back to the library. She really could not, for the life of her, understand what she'd done to cause this open dislike.

Elladan, on the other hand, had no clue where his thoughts were trying to go. He wasn't sure what to think about Elrohir, and he already knew exactly what he thought of Tira (it wasn't particularly flattering). And now he'd been instructed to work with the one thing guaranteed to distract him into oblivion.

When they returned to the general area of the library she'd been in before, he paused and weighed his choices. Stay here, as per instructed, and be helpless as his heart continues doing that strange series of movements, first the stampede, then the somersault, followed by such stuttering and skipping, it was like a frolicsome child with a lisp. Or as quickly as possible, politely excuse himself and be raked over the coals about it later.

But then she had gone over to a table, glancing at a few books, seemingly thoughtful, and he was distracted watching her every move. Delicate fingers running over the spines, the pages, with such a reverent and light touch; and he rubbed at the ache in his shoulder, the burn and itch of healing flesh, and wanted to trade places with those books.

Unaware of his misery, she took a seat and he leaned back against a shelf, trying to look like less of an idiot.

Painstakingly dragging his eyes away from her, the rustling of pages brought his traitorous gaze back to her, and his muddied, fickle thoughts suddenly had one constant, and it was her. She wasn't saying anything and he felt awkward and self-conscious, of no help.

"You're quiet." It rushed out before he could think twice about it. "Are you upset?" He was surprised at how much the possibility upset him.

Her brow furrowed, guarded gaze flickering to briefly meet his, but it darted away almost as quickly as it had come, nothing but an abrupt flash of blue to leave an afterglow in his sensitive psyche.

"No." She answered softly.

He shifted uncomfortably, glancing away, only for his gaze to quickly stray back to her. He watched her eyes roam restlessly around the page of some ancient tome -he couldn't tell what it was from here- and it suggested to him that she wasn't actually reading it. Rare was the book in their library that was _not_ in Sindarin, and he doubted that if she couldn't speak it, she could read it.

He could count on one hand how many times they had actually interacted the past six weeks, every time she'd been polite but reserved, excepting earlier with that rare display of what was almost temper. Even then, she'd remained civil, if not warm. Now, she was as quiet as she was in larger group settings.

The question kept coming to the fore, bugging him, making him twitchy, the constant _why_, why was she quiet, why was she not forthcoming; the deeper why, why could she talk easily with Ro, why her completely unreadable thoughts made him want to learn her language to know them.

He focused on the easiest why, the first. Had he done something, been curt enough or some such, to make her assume she could _not_ speak around him?

"Is that book really so enthralling?" he finally asked, trying to figure out if this was _him_ or if it actually was that she was distracted.

Again, that brief glimpse of a blue that was beginning to fascinate him as the gears in his head tried to assign a specific shade. Were they robin's-egg blue or sky blue? And was he _seriously_ thinking about this?

Light, blonde hair -not tied back in _any_ way, and it was making him feel strange things- slid forward and brushed the side of her face, as she had her head bent over the volume she was perusing. An almost too-real _tingling_ suffused his fingers as he resisted the overpowering urge to tuck the locks behind her ear.

"Honestly, I have no clue what it says," she answered, and he blinked, wondering if she really had actually _spoken_ to him, and whether or not he should believe it. The warm after-hum in his ears said yes, but the pause nearly convinced him otherwise. "The pictures are to die for, though."

"You would die for those pictures?"

She made a soft sound. Wait…was that a giggle? He swore he saw a smile tugging at those soft lips. Was she _laughing_ at him?

"I didn't mean it like that, but I suppose if you had to die for something…" she trailed off, worrying her bottom lip for a moment and making him twitchier.

"What?"

She glanced up. "I suppose it's as good a thing as any, right?"

Elladan furrowed his brow, not really seeing it. What in all of Arda did she _mean_? He could think of a number of "things" much more worthy of dying for, beginning with his family. "Why would that be?"

She shrugged, and those eyes, so impossible to catch, flittered out of his sight again. "I'm no well-versed philosopher, but there is a lot to be said for symbolism."

She seemed to have returned her attention to the book, but he wasn't finished with this conversation. He still didn't understand, but he couldn't deny that he wanted to.

"That may as well be," he started, and she turned a page, but he got the impression she was…_listening_. She was always _listening_. What kinds of things did she hear that no one thought she did? "But the worth would depend on the symbolism itself. What is so great about those pictures?"

Honestly, they weren't that captivating, were they? He shifted, craning his neck to get a glimpse of the book she was looking at, but got distracted by the way she twisted her mouth around -thoughtful? Nervous?- and ran a hand over a page. "They're breathtaking," she said. Then, softly, so he hardly heard it, "Like a time out of mind."

Then she lifted her gaze, and for once her eyes met his, a moment so overwhelming, he actually forgot to breathe. No. No, no, _no_. There was _no_ way she could do that to him; he tried to look away, but it was like he just kept falling deeper and deeper, and _damn it_, he was _not_ a love-struck, pining ninny like his brother.

But there was so much there and he couldn't surface from it, he just wanted to get closer, _closer_. Had he watched her for hours, days, years? Seconds.

"Some symbolism is powerful enough to shake a world; some imagery so beautiful, it would break your heart. And to communicate something worth knowing in a manner we will understand -that is, through symbolism- is worth dying for."

He breathed shakily when she looked away, something in his chest burning with an emotion he couldn't identify. Silence fell again and he tried to look elsewhere, tried to distract his thoughts, but they had no sense of direction and no respect for authority.

She surprised him a few minutes later, by speaking first, interrupting a rather troublesome thought with an equally disturbing one, only for different reasons.

"So…what will you do if," she shrugged, "Ro goes through with this…?" She waved a hand, as if not sure what word to ascribe to the situation but deciding to just leave it as is.

"He _won't_ go through with it." He replied firmly, negating any possibility of a different outcome. "You'll all go back to where you came from and all will be well again."

She stared at him and he pushed off the shelf, the air crackling with tension but he figured that was more on his side of things, because he couldn't get a read on her. And he wasn't going to stick around long enough to.

"I'm afraid if you need any help, you'll have to find someone else to do it. Excuse me." Ada could upbraid him for this later if he got wind of it, but Elladan was _not_ going to stay and be forced to grasp that nettle. How _dare_ she make him face that impossible decision, shove in his face any possibility of his twin _leaving_ him?

As he walked away, he heard a firm _thump_ and when he glanced back, the book she'd been looking at was closed and she was departing in the opposite direction, stretching her fingers and shaking her hands out at her sides.

He shook his head and turned back, only to pause as Ro came out of some nook or other, surprising him.

"You need to _stop_ this." The younger twin sighed.

"Stop what?"

"Shutting me out."

"It seems you've been keeping something from me." He shot back, scowling.

Ro frowned, confused. "Like what? Besides, every time I _try_ to tell you something, you get all...all..._you_."

"As if I should be someone else." He hissed. "Eru forbid I be _myself_ with you. And what is so wrong with being _me_?" Pushing past his brother, too distraught to hear another word, he decided to head down to the training grounds, try to clear his head.

Elrohir watched him go, brow furrowed as he tried to make sense out of _that_ assertion. When had he ever said Dan was not welcome to be himself or that there was anything wrong with who he was? Granted, Dan had his faults, and they had their problems, but how in the world did his twin arrive at that conclusion when that wasn't even what he _meant_?

Sighing, shaking his head, Ro let him leave, resolving to try again later when Dan had had some time to cool off and work off whatever steam had him so volatile.

His original intention -talking to Dan- now off the grid, he was at a loss of what to do. Sure, he had things he needed to do, but nothing immediately pressing, and certainly nothing particularly _interesting, _at that.

Looking around, he noticed the book Raina had left on the table and grumbled about the misuse of materials. _Everyone_ knew the library rules, that if you took a book out, you also put it back. Picking up the offending item, he glanced at the title to see where it belonged and went to put it back.

Once shelved, he was back in the same place as five minutes before, with nothing to do. Great. Bored, and full of an energy he couldn't place or shake, he went on an unplanned walkabout. It didn't take long before he caught the sharp, biting scent of cold air hinting at a coming snow storm and frowned. The fact that he could smell it meant someone had left some doors somewhere nearby open.

Following the dropping temperature he came across the culprit, an uncloaked Raina. For all he could _see_ she was freezing, the daft girl stood there in the cold, hands fisted before her on the railing with her face uplifted.

"Of all the stupid things you girls have done and have yet to do, I certainly didn't expect any of it to be from you." He said, making her start, "And this is definitely stupid. What were you thinking, coming out here without covering?"

"Um…" Raina paused, as if not quite sure how to reply. "Sorry? I just needed this cold…zap as an outlet."

He shook his head. "Needed or not, it's still stupid. _Humans_," he stressed, "are such frail creatures. Estel is proof."

She giggled. "Cliffs, and colds, and just all manner of ill-luck."

"You laugh now, but I guarantee when ada and Estel are dosing you with their nastiest teas you'll regret it. Oh, and that friend of yours." He tacked the last on as if he could not be less concerned, but Raina heard the tone for what it was.

"Yes, Tira will be all mother-hen on me if I get sick." She tilted her head up to look at his face directly. "Speaking of Tira, have you seen Dan?"

He raised an eyebrow, not connecting the two. "What does Tira have to do with Dan? Is she baiting him again? And yes, I saw him. He went off in a huff."

"Completely unsurprising." She shrugged, turning back to the rail. "As for your second question, I wouldn't know what Tira is doing. And I only bring it up because Dan was…is…supposed to…talk to you."

Elrohir was not very surprised about that, as Ada had been far too quiet since their butting of heads, but that Raina seemed to know something -be it about that subject or another- worried him. Surely Ada would not have repeated anything to one of these girls that which had been told to him in confidence?

"What is it, exactly, was he supposed to say?" He tried, attempting to suss out any knowledge she may have had.

Raina knew the kind of tricky footing she was on; sworn to silence about the details—Elrond had been very emphatic about not telling anyone. Did that include the one who'd made the pledge in the first place? She couldn't lie, either. What was _she_ supposed to say? Finally, she shrugged. "Your interest in Tira is obvious; your family is concerned, and with good reason."

He thought about that for a second. Her words indicated a knowledge, but not necessarily _the_ knowledge of things he'd told his father. He did see, upon reflection, his interest had perhaps been a tad bit too obvious, but then the girl made it _so difficult_ to ignore her presence.

"That as may be, but we need to get _you_ out of the cold." He decided to pass on the subject of whatever knowledge she had for now.

"You can run, Elrohir, but you can't hide forever. Someday we _will_ be going home, of this I am sure. I feel it in my heart that this is not a permanent place for us." Raina said softly, seeing the dodge. "It's best if you start now, and give both of you time to adjust, then having to break anything off at the last moment. Tira…I don't know many details, but Tira's been hurt in the past and I don't want to see her hurt again."

He did _not_ like it when hazy suspicions were confirmed as facts, even hazy facts. Whomever had hurt her, hurt _any_ of them, he hoped they paid for it in some fashion. At any rate, he was _not_ happy that Raina seemed to see right through every tactic he threw at her to the heart of the matter.

"You're right." He nodded. "Of course you're right."

"Then you'll…stop?" Raina asked, not sure how else to phrase it.

He shrugged. "Come on, let's get you inside."

She sighed, letting the dodge stand for now.

"You know, I consider myself to be _quite_ skilled. I don't _need_ remedial lessons."

"Well, _I_ don't want to be the one giving you remedial lessons, or lessons of any other sort." The retort was fired back, distinctly grumpy.

"Then why are you bothering me?" Tira swung around.

"Precisely because of actions like _that_!" The elf huffed, taking her by the shoulders and spinning her back around before she accidentally (or purposely, he wouldn't have put it past her) shot the arrow at him.

"Hmph. I know what I'm doing."

"Then prove it."

Tira sighed as if this was such an imposition, then cleanly shot the arrow, hitting the inner circle -not the bullseye, but close enough her aim couldn't be faulted- and looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Again."

"But I've already _done_ it!"

"So _do_ it again." Glorfindel said shortly.

"Stuck-up, stuffy-britches elves and their insistence on perfection." Tira muttered as she nocked another arrow, sighted, and loosed.

This time when she turned around to hassle her teacher more, she spotted another person to add to her list and grinned.

"Yoohoo! Oi, Elladan! Over here!" She waved. Since he was already headed in the direction of the archery range, this was rather useless.

Upon arrival, he shot a scathing glare towards her, then turned to Glorfindel. "If I'd known you were stuck with this unenviable job, I'd have sought out someone else, but it can't be helped now, I suppose."

"Please, get to the point. My patience seems to be in rather short supply today." The elder sighed.

"Well, I don't want to be here either, stuffy-britches." Tira interjected. "_You_ sought me out, remember."

"I was hoping you had a scouting assignment, or even hunting or diplomatic assignments would do, to get me _out_ of here."

"Ah, too much brotherly bonding?" Tira cooed, the dig ruined by an unladylike snort.

The elves ignored her, which in turn only made her more determined.

"I may have one or two things I could throw your way." Glorfindel mused. "Come see me after dinner."

"Well, you know, _I_ could use something to do, too."

"Practice some more." Glorfindel replied without looking her way.

"I don't _need_ to practice shooting at still targets. I'm _good_ at hitting those. What I am _not_ good at is hitting moving targets. I think you should let me go with _him_."

The glee in her voice at that suggestion had both elves turning to stare at her, Elladan in horror and Glorfindel thoughtfully.

Looking at Glorfindel beseechingly Elladan begged "please don't, please do _not_ saddle me with her!"

"I think it's a splendid idea, actually. She needs the practice, as she pointed out, and I certainly don't have the time to take her myself, but a short, two day trip, staying on Imladris lands, certainly won't hurt."

"There is nothing splendid in it whatsoever."

"I agree with the old guy." Tira shrugged. "So, when do we leave?"

Tira happily gathered kindling for the fire while Elladan began to set up camp. It had taken a _lot_ of convincing on Glorfindel's part, and a lot of complaining on almost everyone else's part, to even allow this to happen, and the elf was in no way _pleased_.

He muttered imprecations under his breath the entire time, all the while remembering in detail the last conversation he'd had with his brother.

_He was carefully picking and choosing a small variety of things he anticipated needing, including first aid items -the girl was apt to hurt herself in some fashion, or hurt him- when Elrohir barged in, completely uninvited and unannounced._

"_We need t- what are you doing?"_

"_What's it look like? I'm packing."_

"_Well, I can _see_ that. Why are you packing?"_

"_Because I have been _coerced_ into taking that annoying, irritating, exasperating, frustrating and completely vexing female you seem to like so damn much out to improve her archery skills on moving targets. In short, hunting."_

"_Why wasn't I told? Are you running away from _me_?"_

_Elladan continued his packing, not answering immediately. "No." He said eventually. "Not as such. I needed space to think, so I asked Glorfindel for an assignment. I did _not_ expect this, though."_

"_She's so tiny. And…female. What if she gets hurt? Or what if _you_ get hurt? Is it just you two? Someone else should come along. You know, in case one of you gets hurt. I'll go pack."_

"_NO!" Elladan spun around to face his twin. "No. I said I needed time to think, and I can't _think_ with you hovering. We…she…I'll be fine. Besides, I'm sure Glorfindel or Ada have something else needing doing that you'd be perfect for."_

"_You're being absolutely wretched." Elrohir frowned. "It's not _safe_ for her out there. Look at what happened to _us_."_

"_We're staying in the area, on lands controlled by Ada. We'll be _fine_."_

"_This isn't right. Does Tira even know of this?"_

"_It was her idea." The elder twin replied dryly. _

"_You lie. Why would she do that?" Elrohir shook his head with a frown. "Why you and not me?"_

_Amused and irritated at Elrohir's bullheadedness Elladan turned back to his packing, mentally going over the contents of the rucksack. It had stung, that accusation of a lie, but he tried not to let it show._

"_I need to have a talk with a certain someone." His twin grumbled. "Don't leave without saying goodbye. Please?"_

_He sighed. "We leave at first light. If you want to say goodbye, do it before then."_

"_Please be careful, Dan. I can't lose you." Elrohir said as he walked out the door._

"Yoohoo, earth to space-elf!" He shook his head as the vexing female returned to the campsite. "You know, it helps to actually have a space cleared _before_ building a fire. What have you been doing this whole time?"

"Doesn't matter. Can you make a fire?"

"Of course I can. I'm not a complete idiot." She snorted, tossing the kindling down and starting to clear a circle. He did help her find some rocks to place around the small pit she dug, but on the whole let her do as she pleased, keeping an eye on her actions. The fact that she was quietest when he gave her something to do had nothing to do with letting her work…or so he tried to convince himself.

"I know this was like all my idea and stuff, but I've kinda been all wondering like why the heck I chose you. I mean, it's fairly well known you guys -you and Ro, that is- are terrible hunters."

"We are _not_ terrible hunters." He frowned at her.

"Then how come all the stories say you never come back with anything?"

"I do not know what you are talking about."

"Of course you don't." She shook her head. "Just keep trying to convince yourself of that. Anywho,"

"What?" He asked, suspicious. He'd come to learn that when she finished a sentence with _anyway_ or _anywho_ she was getting ready to spout something totally outrageous that generally made him want to deck her. Or throttle her.

"I want to know what your plans are for my sister. Your intentions, and such."

He narrowed his eyes, watching her. Finally he spoke. "I have no intentions. But what about _you_? What are _your_ intentions with my brother?"

She stopped whatever it was she was doing and stared at him. "I have no intentions, either. I will never, _never_ coerce someone into being with me. I…he…we can't be together." She finished softly. "_This_ is his world, not mine."

Elladan was surprised. Of all the things he'd expected her to say, that hadn't been it. "Are you then…giving up on him?"

She shrugged. "Not…_giving up_, not in those words. Am I consciously and purposely pursuing a relationship? No."

Elladan thought for a moment, debating if he ought to tell her anything. Deciding that Elrohir's declaration to their father was better off remaining private, he changed tacks. "You may not be doing it on purpose, as you claim, but you _are_ leading him on. You need to stop."

Tira stared into the slowly growing flames, tossing a twig in and watching it disintegrate. "I know. It's a lot harder than you think."

Understanding all too well -he didn't _like_ being so cold to Raina, but he could _not_ allow feelings to get in the way- Dan let the conversation fall to silence.

Finally, after a small meal of jerky and squirrel soup (they'd used snares to catch them, which he'd laughed at her for but had proved rather useful in the end) they set out their sleeping rolls and banked the fire. No rain was expected, so Elladan hadn't bothered to pack anything as a tent, and not being particularly far from civilisation he wasn't worried about any predators.

She hadn't said much else between the lapse in their conversation and now, and he was relieved. Hopefully, come morning, she would be just as quiet.

Elladan was up a solid hour before she, but he would've given anything for one more half hour. He'd been close, he was sure, to making sense out of all the not-sense in his head when she greeted the day with the same boisterousness she did everything; only her vocality was over the frozen state of her toes and "how come the idiot elf didn't start the fire before he left—hey, wait a moment, where did he go?"

He hoped if he stayed quiet, she wouldn't find him and maybe she'd just build the fire up herself and wait for him to "get back." Unfortunately, that didn't mean she'd be quiet, though.

"Could've at least _warned_ a girl before taking off. If I die out here, it's his fault and I won't be the one who breaks the news to Ro!"

He blinked, incongruously noting that that made less sense than his thoughts had for the past half hour. That, or the statement was such an obvious one, that it was just downright painful. Or maybe he'd been up in this tree too long, thinking confusing things.

"And if I—_achoo_! Argh! I hate snow!" She shook a fist at the heavens and he quirked a brow, weighing the benefits of speaking and escaping his thoughts or keeping his position secret and trying to work out the complicated mess known as his feelings.

"I didn't even want to be out here! Thought for sure he _wouldn't_ run off, me being a _girl_ and all. Last time I bank on that whole Elven honour thing! Pah! Think I've found my first moving target and I will enjoy turning him into an Elven arrow-cushion!"

Choosing, for the time being, to stay quiet, he settled back and decided to wait this out, but not out of any concern for his future well-being, Tira's aim being what it was—or lack of. He wanted to see what other kinds of things she'd let slip when she thought no one was listening.

This whole thing had been a manipulative little _game_ to…do what? Get something out of him? She counted on him being a position where he couldn't run off so she could do _what_?

Of course, he had no idea that throughout her little rant to no one she had been slyly glancing around for clues and such. He hadn't wiped away his tracks, for one, and they distinctly led towards his general area, or, to her deduction, the area in which he had first gone. Without actually following them she could not determine if he was nearby or had completely abandoned her, but she had her suspicions of the former.

"Of course," she continued, throwing her voice a little more, injecting more ill humour that wasn't entirely forced into it, "I suppose I could just pull a _him_ and blame this all on Raina!"

He raised a brow again, thinking that one over. Had he really blamed the girl for anything? Not…_really_. Sure, he'd been going along fine before she dropped in and turned his life upside down, but it wasn't like he and Ro hadn't had fights before or he couldn't reconcile what was with the turmoil that was in his soul. She'd been a catalyst, but she couldn't really be faulted for that. She'd done nothing, if he was honest; nothing but exist and come here and make his heart do crazy things, that is.

"Blimey, bloody, blasted, disreputable, good-for-nothing ne'er-do-well!" Tira shouted, kicking out at the snow, only to slip and fall with a hard thump into a graceless heap beside the fire ring. "That is it! I hate all of you! I quit Elves!"

"No one is stopping you from _quitting elves_, as you put it." He said as he dropped from his perch.

She startled slightly at his sudden appearance, then scowled and folded her arms and legs as she settled beside the cold fire. "You don't even know what that means, doofus. Did you hear whatever it is you were eavesdropping in hopes of catching?" She grumbled sourly, kicking a twig into the ashes.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I certainly heard quite a bit, whether it was something I was listening for or not."

"Way to dodge the question." She coughed, cleared her throat, and went digging through her pack for her waterskin.

"You are not _ill_, are you?" He peered at her.

"Of course not, just a morning tickle." She waved him off. "Nothing to be concerned about. Yelling does dry one's throat, after all."

"Hmm, I suppose it does." He replied, inferring that he had never lowered himself to such behaviour.


	25. Tragically Star-Crossed

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

Tragically Star-Crossed

Trelan was in a rather nice mood today, even if he had been sent to find one of the girls. They were actually not too bad, mostly. Amusing, more often than not. Especially how that one odd girl -the one with the light, curly hair- could really nark Raniean, fluster him right out of his usual stoicism.

Chuckling to himself over the latest incident (who let Eltara anywhere near the tannin and why did he get the feeling "moon" wasn't something innocuous?), he incongruously wondered if it might be a good idea to keep Raniean away from the girl for the sake of his friend's strained sanity.

He'd been ambling around for a while looking for that quiet one…Raina, wasn't it? When the girl really wanted to disappear, she could vanish. And with no Tira around to ask for directions (she usually knew how to find the girl), he'd drifted from one girl after the other, from location to location, searching. The last direction he'd been given (from a distracted Lindelas) was she'd gone up to her room.

Ambling up the stairs, he belatedly realised he wasn't sure which of the rooms the girls had been given was hers. With that thought, he shrugged and figured he'd knock on each door until he found her. As he wandered down the hall, from door to door, he realised he was hearing something that definitely did not sound like it belonged.

Pausing where he was he listened to pinpoint the direction; odds were even if the producer of the noise was not Raina the person would know which room was hers or where she could be found.

"Here is my song; listen if you will, but I have no heart for it anymore: I just have half a mind to cut it loose…"

He raised a brow. The voice, he was nearly certain, could only belong to Raina.

"And if it sails off into the blues, then I'll just let it soar…into the sky's better keeping…"

Sure enough, when he followed the music to the northernmost balcony, he found her. She had that strange instrument she'd been lugging around with her when she'd arrived, from which she coaxed a quiet, soothing tune, underlain by a sombre pitch. He hadn't heard her play before, much less heard this instrument, and he paused to listen.

"…and I won't be any poorer for giving it its freedom. Here's one for freedom."

The way she strummed the instrument changed, picking up, and she glanced up. "It is the sea that makes -" She abruptly cut off, seeing him.

"You didn't have to stop on my account." Trelan smiled. "That was nice."

She blushed and mumbled, "I didn't know anyone was around."

"I don't think people generally are." He answered, walking out onto the balcony to join her. "I think this is a private balcony, for the family."

Raina grew very still. "Family…as in, Elrond, the twins, and Aragorn?"

"Well, yes. If I am correct this was the Lady's balcony."

Paling, she hopped up and began putting her instrument away. "Oh, no, no. I didn't know. I-"

Unexpectedly, Elrohir meandered out onto the balcony, stopping short upon seeing Raina and Trelan.

"What…" he began slowly, a little wary, "are you doing here?"

Raina shot him an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, Ro. I didn't know where I was. Trelan explained; just let me…I'll be gone in a jiffy…" her voice muffled on the last as she ducked her head and flipped the latches on the case.

He sighed. "No, it's…didn't know, did you say?"

Raina looked up, stricken at his suspicious tone. "Honest." She nodded. "I mean, I _know_ what balcony this is, but I didn't know it was _this_ balcony."

"Well. Good. You don't..._have_ to go." He shrugged, but his tone of voice was a little pouty.

Trelan frowned slightly and spoke in Sindarin quietly, "don't say things you don't mean."

Elrohir threw him a look, shook his head, and glanced back at Raina, who'd moved to leave. "You don't have to," he repeated.

A small, ironic smile tugged at Raina's mouth. "I've heard it said _eyes don't lie_. You say one thing, but your eyes say another. It's alright; I'll go."

He watched her as she left, then went over to the railing, looking down over the river. "Naneth...where did things go wrong?" He asked, not expecting an answer, but needing to get the question out.

Closing his eyes and just listening to the breeze, he thought if he listened hard enough, he could hear his mother, skirts rustling, humming softly as she embroidered. He could just imagine her behind him now, if he pretended for a moment, listening to all the troubles of his heart. She would give a soft sigh and offer insight, then sit back and wait for him to piece together the riddle that was his brother.

He reflected on his recent fight with Dan, his lingering hurt and anger. The slight still stung from the other morning, when Elladan left before he could say goodbye after he'd asked him not to. He sighed heavily.

Dan had accused him of hovering. He could only assume Dan had ignored his wishes to rid himself of his annoying tagger-on. Annoying or not, did that really excuse him of leaving without waiting another minute or two so he could say goodbye?

He wished there was an easy answer for everything, but he knew that there wasn't and never would be; life wasn't meant to be easy.

"Do you think I offended him?" Raina worried as they headed down the hall.

Trelan shrugged. "Not as much, no. I am not sure what has been going on between him and his brother, but it's got the both of them being rather unfriendly as of late; I do not think it is anything you specifically did."

She looked as though she might say something, then hesitated. "Can I…be honest with you? Share something?"

About to reply automatically, he considered her tone. _Share something_, like a burden _something_, not just a plain something? But why would that be a problem? Quirking a brow and ruminating on that little confusion, he nodded. "Yes, of course. What's on your mind?"

"It doesn't feel that way with Elladan. It seems every little thing I do, even if I just happen to be in a room _he_ walks into, is offensive to him. He's not treating anyone else this way, that's why I bring it up."

Trelan thought about this for a moment, having noticed that yes, Elladan was acting weirder than the usual Trelan knew, and that a lot of it seemed to revolve around these girls. Could it be he was focusing his irritation on Raina in particular? Trelan had tried not to involve himself in petty behaviour like that of the twins, and so had turned a blind eye.

"I don't know what to tell you," he finally settled on, then wished he did have something to tell her at the look on her face. She may not have expected any concrete answers, but he also wasn't being even a little helpful. "Dan's…peculiar. He gets notions that are all his own and no one can explain them, at least, not anyone but Elrohir, maybe Lord Elrond."

"Hm." Raina frowned. "So you're saying I'll have to ask _Elrohir_ about this." She seemed to be almost pulling a face at that.

Trelan gave a half smile. "I guess I am…unless you would like to request an audience with Lord Elrond?"

"Oh, he already knows."

"And did he give you any advice?"

"Typical elven advice." Raina chuckled. "Totally unhelpful and yet so wise."

The remark was unexpected and he laughed. "I…see."

"No," she sounded amused, "I don't think you do. But that's alright. It's an elf thing."

He paused, caught off guard to realise she was teasing him. He sent her an mock indignant look, then quirked a brow. "What was his advice, anyway?"

"He said he would take care of it."

"Then he will."

She giggled. "If taking care of it is _keep Elladan very far away from her_, then I guess it's working."

He laughed. "What works, works. Now, Erestor sent me to find you, so let's not keep him waiting, eh?"

"_Achoo_! Ugh. Are we there yet?" Tira whined, not for the first time. Oh, this particular one was new, but she'd been complaining about one thing after another for hours. The saddle was uncomfortable, it was too cold, how come they didn't have anything better to eat, what was his issue, and how this was all his fault.

She used that final one a lot, about how if he would just get over himself and come to terms with all of his silliness about Raina, she wouldn't have had to come out here.

He paused long enough to rub his head, fighting a headache. He took a deep breath, tried to tell himself to be patient, but he'd been telling himself that for the past twenty complaints.

"Are you so sick you can't tell yourself?" he snapped.

"Oh, you do just have the worst bed side manner."

Elladan scowled. "Well you aren't exactly every healer's dream patient."

"Well _I_ wouldn't even be a patient if I hadn't been dragged all over Imladris and beyond in the middle of winter."

"_You're_ the one that wanted to come!"

"That is quite beside the point, elfie boy." Tira sniffed, both due to her stuffy nose and because the tone she was going for required such a thing.

He blew out his breath and reminded himself that she wasn't worth it. He counted to ten before even thinking of a reply. "Yes," he ground out finally, "we are almost there. If you could be patient for _five more minutes_, we'll be there."

"Oh, good. A change of company is just what the doctor ordered." She seemed about to say something more, but was cut off by a harsh coughing fit. When it subsided, she must have changed her mind, because she kept quiet after that.

To be fair and honest, he was worried about her. He'd done all he could to take care of her, but there was only so much one could do out in the wilderness, in the cold. He would be relieved when they got home, in more ways than one.

'Course, he wasn't looking forward to the haranguing he knew was coming. Especially knowing Ro would be first in line. He could well imagine the ticking-off that was coming as soon as greetings were exchanged, if Ro even bothered to greet him.

With these broody thoughts in mind, he barely noticed when they rode into the courtyard, the echo of horse hooves telling him it was empty.

With Tira coughing and sniffling and grumbling under her breath the entire way up the steps and into the house, Elladan did not notice at first the horrified stare of the girl who had been sitting in a bored manner on the steps inside until she spoke.

"Oh deary me. My goodness, never thought he'd half kill you. You know, I can totally go get your dad..." Tea rambled.

"No...wait, yes. You do that." Elladan sighed. He glanced between the girl and Tira, noticing how pale she was except for two bright flags on her cheeks.

"Elladan?" Tira's voice was scratchy and miserable as she looked up at him, and he quirked a brow in response. "I'm never going hunting with you in the winter again. Now, which way to my bed?"

He frowned. "Perhaps we ought-"

"Do not say infirmary." Tira grimaced as a cough ripped it's way out of her throat. "I. Want. My. Bed."

Elladan sighed. "Fine. You know where your room is."

"You want me to walk up all those stairs?" She whined.

"You've got two working feet."

"I also got two not-so-working lungs." She replied.

"Tut, tut, Dan. Really, the girl's about to topple over her. Sweep her up, be the gentleman, the knight in shining armour! All that good stuff! Take her up the stairs, to her bed! Come on!"

Tira gave a tired half-smile at Elladan's scowl towards Eltara as the girl came flying through, having seen Tea and gotten the whole story. "You aren't my first choice either, elfie."

"Yes, where is Ro when you need him?" Eltara blinked.

As Elladan hesitated, clearly unhappy about the spot Eltara had cornered him in, who should happen to wander by but the elf in question. Elrohir was thumping down the stairs as if he had a destination when he looked up and saw them.

Taking in an obviously ill Tira, he shifted his concerned gaze to Elladan only to notice that his brother was grimacing, arms crossed.

"Well, well, speak of the devil and he shall appear." Eltara mumbled cryptically.

"What is going on here?" Elrohir demanded, accusatory glare bearing down on his twin.

Elladan scowled. "Nothing I can't handle. We were just discussing whether or not she should go to the infirmary first."

"Oh dear." Tira squeaked. Neither elf paid her any attention.

"Well isn't it obvious? She needs to lie down, so does it matter if it's the infirmary or her room?"

"Um, El?" Tira tried again.

"Yes, well, we were more or less discussing how to get there."

"Go up the stairs, duh." Elrohir shot back.

"We were getting there! Really, Elrohir, you're making it sound like I can't take care of her."

"I think the evidence speaks for itself."

"I don't feel-" Tira managed to get out before she pitched forward.

The twins looked just in time for Elladan to reach out and catch the unconscious girl. As he shifted her to a safer position, Ro was trying to push him aside.

"Look, El, I am-"

"Obviously the answer is, as I said, no, you can't take care of her properly." Ro snapped.

Elladan scowled some more, not even trying to defend himself anymore as he saw it was futile. Ro snorted and picked Tira up, cradling her as gently as he could, but she still moaned and he shot Elladan a terrible look.

"She's burning up. What did you _do_ to her out there?" Without waiting for an answer the elf turned with his burden and headed back the way he'd originally come.

Elladan watched until they reached the landing then made a noise that was remarkably like a growl and turned away, intending to go see what was taking that girl and his father so long when he saw Eltara watching him closely.

"So, obviously you do care to some degree about her well-being." She remarked, amazingly serious, which was a first for her that he had seen.

"Well, I'm not the heartless bastard everyone seems to think." He replied gruffly.

She raised a brow. "And who has called you that? Certainly not us. No…" she shook her head slowly, "if anything, I think you care too much and that is possibly your downfall."

He stiffened. "You should not speak so about those you do not know."

She gave him that insightful look again and smiled. "But I do know you about as well as an outsider can."

He did growl that time, not enjoying the reminder of how much these girls did know, and stepped to the side, intending to go around her when she reached out and grasped his forearm tightly, with strength he did not expect.

"Elladan, don't go away mad. Anger only serves to hide your true feelings, and it can only end badly. Please don't let it all end like that." He frowned at her earnestness and she dropped her hand. "But…"

"Do go find your friends." He interrupted. "I needs must go seek out my father."

With those words he walked away.

He had tried to be as careful as possible, but no matter she still made little discontented noises as he shifted her from his arms onto her bed. As he pulled the blanket back up over her, she cracked her eyes open and furrowed her brow.

"You're not Elladan." She remarked, confusion in her tone evident.

"No." He tried to smile reassuringly.

"You've got…perty eyes." She said after that before gasping for breath between increasing coughs.

"Um, thank you." He busied himself by wetting a cloth in the wash bowl by the window. Returning to her side he began to wipe her forehead but she turned her face away.

"I don't need that." She growled and cleared her throat. He could clearly hear the crackling in her lungs and knew it was definitely full-blown pneumonia.

"Can I get you anything while we wait for Ada?"

Despite her glassy, fevered eyes she got a mischievous look. "You have nice kisses. I like your kisses."

Surprised, Elrohir sat back, staring at her. He thought about that little confession and reflected that her reaction all those weeks ago didn't line up. Something of his confusion must have shown on his face, because Tira, coughing, worked up a grin and poked him in the nose.

"Adorable elf when you're confused. Kiss, please?"

"We…that is, I cannot."

"Can't or won't?" She grumped, then took a few breaths as deep as she could, obviously in distress that she couldn't seem to get as much air as she'd like.

He shook his head slightly. "Don't push for the impossible, child." He said quietly.

"Don't call me…child. Not child…" A sad look crossed her face briefly but disappeared before he could remark on it. "Perty eyes."

Ro sighed as she turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. Her breathing was rough, and he was wondering what was taking Ada so long. Of course, he could very easily go to the infirmary or store cupboard and make her something, but he was reluctant to leave her side. When he had seen her downstairs, seen Elladan frowning at her as if her illness was an inconvenience, he had been incensed at his brother; angry beyond reason that Elladan, a healer in his own right, had allowed her to get so ill on his watch.

He actually feared he would lose her before he had her, knowing also that he would never really have her and this thought made him even angrier; it was a torturous circle. Lightly he placed a hand on her fevered brow and began whispering, hoping he could at least dampen the worst of the fever by will alone.

He was still trying when Elrond entered the room.

"Son, do not tire yourself unnecessarily."

"I do not deem it unnecessary." He replied tiredly.

"And is it helping?"

"No." Elrohir grudgingly answered, removing his hand from her head.

"Perhaps it is best if your brother helps me." Elrond said gently.

Eyes flashing, Elrohir stood up, facing his father. "I do not want that wretch near her. He's almost killed her once with his neglect and I'll not give him the chance to try again."

"Well, I was referring to Estel, but do tell me how you truly feel." Elrond said dryly. Just a few short weeks ago Elrohir had been inseparable from his twin, and now he was once again unaccountably angry. He wished he could get to the root of his sons' difficulties, but feared it would just have to play itself out.

Running a shaky hand through his hair, Elrohir paled. "I apologise, Ada, for my outburst. I will go seek Estel for you."

"Apology accepted."

"And ada…don't…don't let her die."

"Go in peace, my son. It is but pneumonia, and quite curable."

Elrohir shot a worried look towards the bed once more before leaving the room. With a sigh Elrond brushed a hand against her head, frowning at the intense heat she was radiating. Yes, pneumonia was curable…it was usually secondary infection and lack of oxygen that was the danger. But he would not…could not allow such a thing to happen to someone that did not belong here.

"Oh, dear! Oh, my! I have to tell you all a tale! Hear, hear! Once upon a…Third Age, there was a young girl named Tira, best beloved of a…rather confused, but mostly sharp elf. We'll get back to that. Anyhoo, there was a beast, and a knight in shining armour…oh, I fear I've lost my audience. I say! Are you listening?"

Eltara had marched into the Hall of Fire with her grandest air, achieving, despite her best, only a token glance from the girls arranged around the room.

"Frankly, if I have to hear about Tira, or Tira's love life, again I will be ill." SG made a face. "Everyone is rather tired of hearing about it. Bad enough we have to _see_ it."

"Well." Eltara huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "See if I tell you about her practically being hauled in dead no thanks to Elladan."

"Oh go on. What, did he finally throttle her like he's been promising?" JRH asked with a snort.

"Nope." Quiet Tea spoke up, having come in shortly before Eltara but not said anything. Drama wasn't necessarily her thing. "She's sick. Really sick."

"Yes, like Tea said. On her death bed!" Eltara put a hand to her head, pretending to swoon.

"How sick is really sick?" JLyH asked, the nurse in her concerned.

"Pneumonia, I think." Eltara shrugged, disappointed her story had been reduced to bare bones facts. She and Tira were very alike in that aspect. "But she keeled over right into Ro's arms. Well, sort of. Elladan caught her, but Ro is the one who carried her away. Not into the sunset, though. No, just upstairs. Far as I know Lord Elrond is on his way to perform his magical elf stuff."

"Oh my." JLyH looked worried. She of all of them knew best what sort of things they'd do for serious pneumonia in their world, just as she knew none of those things were available here.

"It's all just so very tragic! And romantic! You can't forget the romance. Tragical romance! Star-crossed lovers! Oh dear, Romeo and Juliet-esque. Hmm…let's hope it doesn't reach that stage." Eltara rambled on as the others talked amongst themselves on what may have happened on the supposedly safe hunting trip Tira had wrangled her way into.


	26. I've Got a Backbone and I'm Not Afraid

MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

I've Got a Backbone and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

With a bit of a sour mood following her, Raina stepped out of the house and gave a little shake. She had, this time, found a cloak to pull on, but figured she'd not need it shortly, as she was heading over to the training grounds. She hoped to find someone to spar with, but if it came down to it she'd just go through her motions alone.

Erestor had been so kind, but like any good professor very stern. He had been quite observant to the fact that she could not speak or understand very much Sindarin, though she had a nice hand with the tengwar. At this point her sourness wasn't so much aimed towards Erestor, or any of the elves really, but her friend. She loved Tira, but honestly sometimes it was a bit dragging to be the only person that had any semblance of control over the wild one.

They all expected her to control Tira, hang any of her interests or wants, but then got upset at her when she couldn't fulfil the basics because she'd been doing as they expected. Since she would never actually hit a person that did not instigate the physical blow first, such as a mugger, her best course of action was, while she actually had time away from Tira duty, to go take out her frustrations on training dummies and willing persons.

Having explained in brief the past two days with Tira to his father, and how she'd come to arrive back in such a condition (for Tea had simply told him that Elladan and Tira were back, and that Tira needed help), Elladan retreated from the stifling house. Two days away and the amount of proper thinking time he'd managed was practically zilch. Since he was hesitant about actually engaging the main source of his ire in physical combat, he figured his best bet was to seek out someone willing to spar out by the training grounds. His shoulder was the best it was going to get, now he just needed to work the muscles back up to where they'd been.

He paid little attention to his surroundings as he made his way through the light coating of snow towards the well-kept grounds. Arriving at what the girls had dubbed "the combat corner", a long, low building that housed dummies, mats, punch bags and other training paraphernalia he entered, clearly hearing sounds of someone within using the bags.

What he was not expecting, however, was the second source of his confusing mix of feelings. He paused in the doorway, watching her as she went through a complicated looking round of kicks and punches and wished he could just stand there forever. Then, shaking that thought away before it became something more he let the door slam shut behind him, a scowl on his face. He had to maintain a cool attitude towards her, for Eru forbid she know his true feelings. No, he could clearly see the mess Elrohir had gotten himself into and did not want a repeat of the same.

She gave one last kick and turned to see who had come in, not expecting Elladan. The scowl on his face was evidence that he had not expected her, either, but she'd be _damned_ if he was going to run her off before she'd worked all her frustrations out. She was here _first_, she rationalised, and she was not leaving simply because Mr. Cranky-pants, as Tira would say, was in a bad mood.

"When did you arrive back?" She asked, trying to be polite even though he clearly wasn't.

"About twenty minutes ago." He grumped. He hoped she wasn't going to ask how the trip had been, or how Tira was. He didn't know what he would tell her. _Hey, sorry but I may have killed your sister by means of neglect…yeah sorry about that…_

"And how did it go?"

Of course. He sighed. "We bagged a buck and three rabbits. She shot the buck."

"Oh, how…nice." Raina smiled, trying not to bring to mind the various quotes from the MC about the twins' hunting skills. "And where is she?"

He hesitated before answering, "She went to lie down for a bit. Neither of us got much sleep."

"Oh. Well." Raina nodded. "I guess…I'll finish up in here then go see her."

She shook her hands out, readying to get back into her zone, but his presence was throwing her off. Turning around to face him again she placed her hands on her hips.

"Are you going to just stand there and watch me? I could help you work your shoulder, if you'd like." She motioned to the bag she'd been working with. "My regimen can wait."

She could swear a hopeful look crossed his face before the scowl returned. "I don't need your help."

He had wanted badly to take her up on her offer, but was afraid if he let her too close he would say or do something he'd later regret, something stupid like Elrohir had done. She looked like he had slapped her, and wished he could apologise, but if he did, then he'd have to explain why he'd said it, and that would never do.

"Alright then." She replied stiffly. "I guess I am done in here then."

She gave him a nod then walked by him with her head high, as if he had not just offended or insulted her. Finding her spirit so strong that she could just move on -unlike her friend who would have definitely said something biting- made him feel like dirt. He turned.

"Raina, um…I should warn you that Tira is not…doing well. She is ill, but my father is taking care of her."

"I see." She didn't mention that he'd left that out before. "Thank you for telling me."

As soon as the door shut behind her he looked around, no longer feeling so much the need to beat someone else up, but definitely wishing things were different where he didn't have to withhold his feelings, where he could say what he wanted without acting like an ass. No, he wanted right then to beat himself up.

When the door opened again, he looked up both hoping and dreading that maybe she'd come back, and was slightly, bizarrely, disappointed to find it was his old mentor Glorfindel.

"I know quite well that she was working in here. Care to tell me what happened?" the elder quirked a brow, indicating he knew something had happened between them and not ended well.

"Not really." Elladan answered.

"You do know if you don't tell me I will ask her?"

"Whatever makes you feel better." Elladan replied sulkily. For some reason he felt chastised, but still belligerent and didn't want to talk to anyone, particularly Glorfindel, right then.

Ignoring the older elf, he set to stretching. Taking the hint, Glorfindel smiled and shook his head, then left. Raina had not gotten very far during his short exchange and he easily caught up with her.

Raina startled at his approach, then strained a smile. "Something you needed?"

"Yes. Tell me what he did."

She gave him a slow, blank look before answering evenly, "Nothing out of the ordinary. It is his home, after all." She shrugged.

"And you are our guest." Glorfindel countered. "If someone has been rude to you, whether or not he is my Lord's son, I would like to know so I may take appropriate measures."

"He's always rude."

"And you let him."

"I - what?" His statement clearly caught her off guard.

"Just that. You _allow_ him to be rude to you." Glorfindel gave her a look she could not interpret. "You have a backbone, you need to use it."

She looked back towards the building, thoughtful, like she could see right through the walls to the elf who was giving her hell. "Are you saying…that I should _confront_ him?"

"Elladan tends toward the bad habit of walking over the people around him, consequences be damned. You need to stand up to him."

Her gaze darted to him, back to the house and lingered, then back to the low building they'd just left. Whatever gears were turning in her head seemed on overdrive, indecision, frustration, and finally determination footing across her face.

Looking back at Glorfindel, Raina nodded. "I suppose he's had enough chances by now to do differently."

"Precisely, child." He nodded. "Until later."

Turning back the way she'd come, Raina paused long enough to tell herself she could do this, then squaring her shoulders, she marched back to confront her resident problem, feeling equal parts terror and anger build the closer she got.

Finally, pulling the door open, she blew out a breath and knew it was now or never.

"What is your problem with me?"

He stiffened at that voice and slowly straightened from the crouch he'd been in. He was at odds with himself, amused by her recent discovery of the backbone he knew she'd had and hurt by the fact that she had decided to use it on him and his treatment of her.

He did not immediately answer, but he sensed her come closer.

"Elladan." She sounded torn between being terse and gracious. "Look, ultimately it doesn't matter if you like me or not, but if I've done you some wrong or offended you somehow, I need to know. So I can at least apologise, if not somehow make it up to you."

He couldn't bring himself to turn around and face her; her honest pleas struck him to the core and made him squirm inside.

A sigh. "What is it I've done?"

He really, _really_ wished she wasn't pressing about this. The odd mix of backbone and grace, coupled with his confused feelings, fed off of…whatever tension crackled in the air between them, and that tension settled into his shoulders. He sensed the dam about to burst and gritted his teeth, biting his tongue.

She blew out a breath, trying to restrain some emotion or another, and then suddenly, she was coming around to face him.

"I know you heard me. I—"

As if he was watching from afar, not actually controlling his body he reached out and took her by the shoulders, making her pause in her scold. He licked his lips and took a half step closer, but the wariness in her eyes and his own nagging conscience suddenly took control.

Stepping back he released her and scowled. "I heard you. I don't really know what you want me to say, though."

Giving him an odd look, like she didn't quite know what to make of what just happened, she gave a slight shake, barely perceptible except that he had that strange habit of noticing everything _about_ her, and seemed as if to decide that she wasn't going to mention it if he wasn't. Then she shook her head at him.

"I've got siblings, too. And I get that you're just about as stubborn as they come, but how difficult about this do you really want to be?" She shrugged. "It's a simple question, really. What did I ever do to you?"

He watched her calculatingly, but inside he was scrambling. Had he seriously been considering what he'd been about to do? His heart was racing like the wind, his hands thrumming with how she'd felt under them, how it felt to touch her…and he knew if he didn't do something to cover it up, he'd only become more transparent.

"I suppose…nothing." He managed stiffly at last, and cleared his throat before continuing crisply. "My problems are none of your concern, as they stem from past events and nothing you or your friends have done."

His tone, while cool, also harboured something she couldn't quite pinpoint, perhaps distaste at whatever had caused those problems.

"However," he continued before she could speak, "if the offer of helping me with my shoulder is still on the table I would be willing to take it."

He was well aware of how begrudging his tone had been, and the brief flicker along her jaw line told him she hadn't missed it but that she would let it slide. But he well knew how those things fester, deep inside. The dark cast to her eyes said she was mulling it over, and based on her recent display of backbone, she was fed up with his snubs.

But "of course," was all she said, sliding one foot slightly behind the other and shifting into a ready position.

Backing up, he watched her. There was something her eyes; he'd almost swear it was fire trying to slip through the tight rein she had on her emotions, and he was momentarily distracted by the thought that he wanted to get at it, make that careful mask of control crack.

"You don't let yourself feel any of the negative ones, do you?" He asked out of the blue. He'd seen her smile, enjoy herself, but that reserve…it subdued everything else; she was as alike Tira as chalk and cheese.

"What?" Her brow furrowed, not following his train of thought. But she'd immediately tensed up, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A spark in his eyes indicated he was about to give her a run for her money.

"If you're angry, girl, then show it." He said even as he feinted to the left and came at her from the right.

She casually sidestepped, having been waiting for his move, and gave a short laugh. "My training has told me time and again that anger makes one sloppy."

"Are they the ones who also taught you it's not alright for you to _get_ angry?" He growled, backing off a little to reassess her, slowly circling her as he thought back on her spar with Ro to find any clues, any patterns; some tell he could use.

"No." She was eyeing him just as closely, reading her own tells, of which Glorfindel had trained him tirelessly to have few. "Simply the _one_ to teach me how to control what I give and what is taken."

Something about her precise tone made him cold, and left him wondering what she was willing to give and what she'd let him take. But more than that, what did he want out of her?

He was…furious. Here he was, trying to draw her out, for reasons he couldn't, or didn't want to put his finger on, and she was making him mad that he couldn't get a rise out of her, which, in turn, made him even angrier that she was angering him. So effortlessly, too.

Distracted as he was by these thoughts, and hesitating besides in a reluctance to lay an angry hand upon any girl, whether she was the cause of his anger or not, he completely missed her strike.

She'd darted in, penetrated his defences; with a fistful of his tunic and a grip on his elbow, she swung her left foot behind his, then swept inward. Already knowing the inevitability of the move the crack in his guard afforded her, he managed to react enough to grab onto her own shirt to compensate with her balance, but she threw her hip into his to knock him over at the expense of keeping her own feet, his arm giving an instinctive yank on her at the same time.

They tumbled, she being pulled down with him. For a moment, all he knew was pain as his bad shoulder took the brunt of their weight, crumpling beneath him. Dark spots and stars danced in his vision, metallic tang of blood filling his mouth. The world seemed to slow, heavy breathing amplified in his ears—was it just his, or also hers? _Hers_…and then came the panic as he felt her weight, hyper-aware of her body, if not too keen of her movements. Her hair tickling his face, his neck, her scent all around him. Every breath was her, his heaving chest offset by hers.

As he rolled off his shoulder, she recovered and popped up, straddling him. His right arm had gone numb, but his left was still clenched in her clothes and she locked her arms around his, hands against his chest and putting all of her weight on him to pin him, unintentionally driving the breath from his already straining lungs. Driving her left foot to the ground by his hip, she swept her right knee around near his head, twisting her body; passing that leg around his head, she sat and lay back, pulling his arm with her into an effective, fight-ending arm bar.

He tried to lift his free arm as she lifted her hips, straining his trapped one, but all he managed was to twitch his fingers. "_Alright_!" he cried out. Immediately, she released him, sliding to her feet.

It had all taken seconds; seconds in which he'd gone from drawing her out, to a numb arm and sucking in pained breaths through clenched teeth, trying to clear his head.

Elladan lay there panting, still hyper-aware of her and wishing he wasn't. If it wasn't the pain blinding him, it was the memory of her scent, her warmth surrounding him.

"El…ladan?" Raina drew his name out slowly, uncertain. She dropped to her knees beside him, and his heart gave a jolt.

"I…" he tried to say.

"Are you okay? Do I need to…find someone? I'm sorry."

"No!" the word came out more forcefully than intended, sending a screaming fire through his pained arm and collarbone.

Her hands, hovering over him, abruptly withdrew. He bit his sore tongue to keep himself from telling her not to pull away. Blinking his eyes open, he peeked at her reluctantly, only to find her giving him a frown.

"I'll be fine, girl." He gasped out, it sounding to his ears more like a snap as he tried to sit up. Pushing himself painfully into a sitting position, he startled when she grabbed his good shoulder and somewhere just beneath his bad one to help and steady him.

His plan had backfired, big time, he thought ruefully. The fight was supposed to draw _her_ out, not hurt him. Bringing his good hand up he carefully felt along his collarbone and shoulder, wincing a little at the fire that coursed through.

"Are you sure there is nothing I can do?" She asked, and his traitorous brain screamed _hold me! love me! be mine!_

"No." He gave her a rueful, if pained, smile. "I will be fine in a little bit." _More like a few weeks, you nift_ his brain grumbled at him.

She gave him an unsure look but did not press the issue.

"I'm sorry, really. I thought your shoulder was all better."

"I thought so, too." He smiled genuinely this time. "I suppose I had that coming."

Raina sat back, giving him a long look he couldn't interpret. "Well, I guess, if you're going to be stubborn about it. He never could get you boys to rest as much as you're supposed to."

He was about to reply when his careful prodding hit a tender spot and his shoulder spasmed, drawing a gasp and grunt of pain from his lips.

She immediately grabbed his elbow in one hand and slipped her other into his, pulling it away from his shoulder. Unconsciously latching on to those slim fingers, he looked up, startled to think how close she actually was; he could smell whatever she'd put in her hair, kiss her without having to lean too far…

Another spasm, and his hand clenched around hers before he caught himself and quickly dropped it as if she'd burned him.

_You big baby_ he chastised himself. _She's got better things to do than deal with your pain._

"I'd…I'd better go see if I can't get something for this." He tried to smile.

"It's not - it's not just that you fell on it, is it?" Raina guessed. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"I just turned my arm the wrong way and stretched those healing muscles too far." He fibbed. It wasn't a complete lie, really…the muscles had been stretched too far. Then his shoulder joint had followed…but it wasn't a lie; it was selective information.

Wincing, he made his way to his feet, waving off her offer to assist him, no matter how much he wanted those arms around him. No point making her haul his deadweight around; he could take care of himself.

But no matter what he said, she wouldn't hear anything of her leaving him until the extent of the damage had been assessed, and possibly even taking care of.

"It's my fault, anyway," she insisted.

Finally, he relented, if for no other reason than he couldn't think up enough arguments to counter her and his own mind and stupid, desirous heart, and deal with the amount of pain he was in. She followed him closely, but didn't speak until they reached the apothecary.

He was rummaging through cupboards one handed, trying to keep his breathing steady so it wouldn't give away to her how much agony and fire his shoulder gave off with every spasm and every movement he made, when she spoke.

"I've pulled muscles too far before, and it hurts like the dickens, but I don't think that's really what is giving you so much pain. Plus, the limp way you're holding that arm makes me think it's a bit more serious than that."

Setting a tin down deliberately, he turned toward her and worked hard to keep his voice even through another stab of agony.

"I _told_ you," he began, but stopped abruptly at the sad look that crossed her face.

"I know what you told me," Raina answered quietly. "But I don't think I can believe it's the truth, or at least, not the whole truth."

That struck him like a slap to the face. How did she know? _I've got siblings, too_ rang in his ears, and he wondered at that one. There'd been a lot in those words. The girl had a lot going on in that head of hers, and it suddenly sunk in that she was probably scary perceptive, even if she didn't let on to how much she was taking in.

There was no point in lying. Capitulating, his shoulders dropped with a wince, his hand hovering over the burning one. "Alright," he admitted begrudgingly, "it's dislocated."

Her eyes widened briefly, then narrowed. "That's not something you or me could fix on our own." She admonished, frowning disapprovingly at him.

"No, it's not," Elladan reluctantly agreed, stinging at that frown. "So I guess you'll have to go get…Estel." He decided, knowing his father was occupied and counting on Ro being with Tira. Estel probably owed him for something; he was sure he could get his littlest brother to stay quiet about what had happened, not tell Ada.

And he wasn't sure how much he wanted to see Ro right now, anyway.


End file.
